NYT Times interview with Brian Kohlberger’s sister

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I believe BK was always a problem child, however, I do not believe his parents had reason to think he would turn into a quadruple murderer. I don’t blame his family at all, but I find the sister’s interview self serving and a bad look.

Of course he was. He was morbidly obese, bullied, then lost a ton of weight. He clearly seems to have autism and who knows what else. He was weird, at best, and scary to the women around him and they had meetings to discuss his off putting behavior. But the family saw nothing. How odd.

Oh what medical credentials do you have that allow you to diagnose autism without examining a patient?

I said he “seems” it’s not a diagnosis. But his lawyers say the same thing so maybe you’ll take their word for it. It’s pretty obvious.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/24/us/bryan-kohberger-death-penalty-autism-diagnosis

+1 which means he was displaying odd behaviors for a very long time. He should have been under a psychiatrist's care with close monitoring and appropriate meds.

Brian was 28 at the time of the murders, had just graduated from DeSales University and had been accepted into a good PhD program with recommendations from recognized professors.

How do you force an adult to not only see a psychiatrist, but also take the recommended meds? Police: my son is wearing gloves and calling me at 6am - please take him to a locked psych facility and let's mess up his PhD studies and assure he never graduates.

It's one thing if a person has acted out violently in public and put others at risk. It's another that he has ASD traits and odd behavior. In order to lock up this one rare murderer, we are going to have to lock up a ton of people who act odd, but have never threatened others with violence.

Never threatened others with violence? Looks like he had a physical altercation with his sister. Someone in here acted like that was totally normal, but I don’t agree with that. She tried to force him out of the house and he grabbed her hands. What’s up with that?

I agreed above that the sister's claim that Brian wasn't violent, then mentioning he grabbed her hands didn't line up. But no one called the police, no one pressed charges at the time. And maybe the sister was more the aggressor during that argument, who knows?

So now mom calls the police and says, hey, my 28yo son got into an argument with his sister 7 years ago and they both were fighting each other, but my son secured her hands so she couldn't hurt him, so will you please commit him to a mental facility because he might be violent in the future?

It's just not practical to lock up all these people with odd behaviors. We stand a better chance if they have threatened strangers with unexplained violence, police were involved, charges were involved, etc. But getting into a shoving match with your sibling and grabbing her hands to keep her from hitting you or hitting you back? I just don't think this rises to locking people up or forcing them into psychiatric care and forced meds.

Well, there were certainly signs at work:

“She said Kohberger would stand at the assistant’s desk, even directly behind her at times, looking over her shoulder as she worked. Another professor was asked to escort the assistant to her car after work because of Kohberger’s behavior, according to the documents.

One student said whenever she looked up, Kohberger, who was a teaching assistant in her class, was “always” staring, according to the records. He rarely spoke to students, she told police. She felt he would time his exit to leave when she did and then follow her to her car.”
…

“Mark my word, I work with predators, if we give him a PhD, that’s the guy that in many years when he is a professor, we will hear is harassing, stalking, and sexually abusing … his students,” one of Kohberger’s teachers told her colleagues during the meeting, according to the documents.



https://www.cnn.com/2025/08/19/us/kohberger-washington-state-university-peers-police-interviews-hnk

PP you responded to, and yes, these are scary behaviors. When I last read about the case, I heard Brian was about to lose his TA position. I don't know if kicking him out as a student would have been the next step.

But it's so hard to leap from these weird, disturbing behaviors, to taking these behaviors to a court of law and asking the state to arrest him and/or "lock him up"?

I just don't see how we only siphon out the bad guys who will go on to do heinous things, without locking up a bunch of weirdos who we worry might do terrible things, but would have just continued to be oddballs who never became violent.

We need to at least move past the idea that nobody could have seen this coming because he was acting perfectly normal.

I don't think anyone has ever claimed that he behaved perfectly normal. I think the issue is that you would normally expect some history of escalating acts of violence before someone commits a quadruple murder, and we just have no evidence of that. Yes, staring at women and making them uncomfortable is bad. Yes, getting into an argument with his sister where he was restraining her hands is not an example of a normally functioning person. But neither of those things make me think he's literally about to murder someone. They make me think he sounds troubled, he should see a therapist, he might have anger management or a neurological issues, etc.

But not that he is a murderer. He wasn't normal, but if all we knew about him was what his family or employer knew, I would not have expected him to kill anyone. Even the comment by the professor in that meeting concerning him at school, what was her concern? That he would get his PhD and become a professor who harasses and assaults students. That's awful and I'm really glad she spoke up. But that's not the same as murder.

I feel like the only way you could have anticipated he would do this is if his purchase of the knife online had been flagged in a way that had alerted his family or employer, or if, as people suspect, he was casing this house for some time before the murder, that behavior had been known and flagged to his family or employer. But how?

I find it impossible to believe his family didn’t have some inkling of what he was really like. He seems deeps disturbed at best. The sister is being dishonest.

His sister is more than dishonest. It is quite obvious she also suffers from severe mental illness .

Exactly. The lesson here isn't "Welp! What can we do! Nobody could have seen this coming!" But it's to make sure kids get the support and diagnoses they need from a very young age. Clearly Bryan didn't. His parents and family failed him.

Careful, your belief in just world shows.

Nick Reiner had all the supports imaginable, and look how that turned out.

His parents money shielded him from the consequences most people in his situation would have been in.

What consequences? He has been living on the streets. Do you mean that without his parents’ support he would have died before having a chance to kill them?

Probably so. 17 rehab attempts and didn't remain on streets forever. Should have been hospitalized indefinitely.

Hospitalized where? By who? It's incredibly hard for drug addicts to get spaces for rehab and in hospitals. Those with severe mental health issues too. A lot of people are begging for spaces for their relatives and can't get them, and when something bad happens, people look with hindsight and say "more should have been done."

I get it and sympathize. We need to change the laws regarding longterm hospitalization.

OK say we do that. Where do all of the new hospitals come from with the space for all these “weird” people who you’re convinced are going to commit crimes? Where are the doctors and the nurses? Hospitals are closing right now and there’s a shortage of medical personnel on all levels.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I believe BK was always a problem child, however, I do not believe his parents had reason to think he would turn into a quadruple murderer. I don’t blame his family at all, but I find the sister’s interview self serving and a bad look.

Of course he was. He was morbidly obese, bullied, then lost a ton of weight. He clearly seems to have autism and who knows what else. He was weird, at best, and scary to the women around him and they had meetings to discuss his off putting behavior. But the family saw nothing. How odd.

Oh what medical credentials do you have that allow you to diagnose autism without examining a patient?

I said he “seems” it’s not a diagnosis. But his lawyers say the same thing so maybe you’ll take their word for it. It’s pretty obvious.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/24/us/bryan-kohberger-death-penalty-autism-diagnosis

+1 which means he was displaying odd behaviors for a very long time. He should have been under a psychiatrist's care with close monitoring and appropriate meds.

Brian was 28 at the time of the murders, had just graduated from DeSales University and had been accepted into a good PhD program with recommendations from recognized professors.

How do you force an adult to not only see a psychiatrist, but also take the recommended meds? Police: my son is wearing gloves and calling me at 6am - please take him to a locked psych facility and let's mess up his PhD studies and assure he never graduates.

It's one thing if a person has acted out violently in public and put others at risk. It's another that he has ASD traits and odd behavior. In order to lock up this one rare murderer, we are going to have to lock up a ton of people who act odd, but have never threatened others with violence.

Never threatened others with violence? Looks like he had a physical altercation with his sister. Someone in here acted like that was totally normal, but I don’t agree with that. She tried to force him out of the house and he grabbed her hands. What’s up with that?

I agreed above that the sister's claim that Brian wasn't violent, then mentioning he grabbed her hands didn't line up. But no one called the police, no one pressed charges at the time. And maybe the sister was more the aggressor during that argument, who knows?

So now mom calls the police and says, hey, my 28yo son got into an argument with his sister 7 years ago and they both were fighting each other, but my son secured her hands so she couldn't hurt him, so will you please commit him to a mental facility because he might be violent in the future?

It's just not practical to lock up all these people with odd behaviors. We stand a better chance if they have threatened strangers with unexplained violence, police were involved, charges were involved, etc. But getting into a shoving match with your sibling and grabbing her hands to keep her from hitting you or hitting you back? I just don't think this rises to locking people up or forcing them into psychiatric care and forced meds.

Well, there were certainly signs at work:

“She said Kohberger would stand at the assistant’s desk, even directly behind her at times, looking over her shoulder as she worked. Another professor was asked to escort the assistant to her car after work because of Kohberger’s behavior, according to the documents.

One student said whenever she looked up, Kohberger, who was a teaching assistant in her class, was “always” staring, according to the records. He rarely spoke to students, she told police. She felt he would time his exit to leave when she did and then follow her to her car.”
…

“Mark my word, I work with predators, if we give him a PhD, that’s the guy that in many years when he is a professor, we will hear is harassing, stalking, and sexually abusing … his students,” one of Kohberger’s teachers told her colleagues during the meeting, according to the documents.



https://www.cnn.com/2025/08/19/us/kohberger-washington-state-university-peers-police-interviews-hnk

PP you responded to, and yes, these are scary behaviors. When I last read about the case, I heard Brian was about to lose his TA position. I don't know if kicking him out as a student would have been the next step.

But it's so hard to leap from these weird, disturbing behaviors, to taking these behaviors to a court of law and asking the state to arrest him and/or "lock him up"?

I just don't see how we only siphon out the bad guys who will go on to do heinous things, without locking up a bunch of weirdos who we worry might do terrible things, but would have just continued to be oddballs who never became violent.

We need to at least move past the idea that nobody could have seen this coming because he was acting perfectly normal.

I don't think anyone has ever claimed that he behaved perfectly normal. I think the issue is that you would normally expect some history of escalating acts of violence before someone commits a quadruple murder, and we just have no evidence of that. Yes, staring at women and making them uncomfortable is bad. Yes, getting into an argument with his sister where he was restraining her hands is not an example of a normally functioning person. But neither of those things make me think he's literally about to murder someone. They make me think he sounds troubled, he should see a therapist, he might have anger management or a neurological issues, etc.

But not that he is a murderer. He wasn't normal, but if all we knew about him was what his family or employer knew, I would not have expected him to kill anyone. Even the comment by the professor in that meeting concerning him at school, what was her concern? That he would get his PhD and become a professor who harasses and assaults students. That's awful and I'm really glad she spoke up. But that's not the same as murder.

I feel like the only way you could have anticipated he would do this is if his purchase of the knife online had been flagged in a way that had alerted his family or employer, or if, as people suspect, he was casing this house for some time before the murder, that behavior had been known and flagged to his family or employer. But how?

I find it impossible to believe his family didn’t have some inkling of what he was really like. He seems deeps disturbed at best. The sister is being dishonest.

His sister is more than dishonest. It is quite obvious she also suffers from severe mental illness .

Exactly. The lesson here isn't "Welp! What can we do! Nobody could have seen this coming!" But it's to make sure kids get the support and diagnoses they need from a very young age. Clearly Bryan didn't. His parents and family failed him.

Careful, your belief in just world shows.

Nick Reiner had all the supports imaginable, and look how that turned out.

His parents money shielded him from the consequences most people in his situation would have been in.

What consequences? He has been living on the streets. Do you mean that without his parents’ support he would have died before having a chance to kill them?

Probably so. 17 rehab attempts and didn't remain on streets forever. Should have been hospitalized indefinitely.

Hospitalized where? By who? It's incredibly hard for drug addicts to get spaces for rehab and in hospitals. Those with severe mental health issues too. A lot of people are begging for spaces for their relatives and can't get them, and when something bad happens, people look with hindsight and say "more should have been done."

They took him in and put him in the guest house to keep him off the streets. Where do you think people who don't have access to a Brentwood guest house go?

Bedroom in your house, of course.

I mean bedroom in their parent's house. Adult mentally ill children live with their parents all the time. The only thing he had that many don't is the easy availability of a bed in a rehab center. Relapse rates are high always, and he got another chance (and another and another) after many other families would have exhausted money. These chances didn't shield him and almost all families wish they had these additional chances to offer their kids. That is all he got that others don't. Many parents spend their old age trying and failing and trying again to help their mentally ill, periodically drug addicted kids get the help they need. It is hard. Their money didn't make it that much easier.

Ha wrong thread. I thought we were talking about the Reiner kid. But most of this is the same. Getting an adult mental health treatment is hard. This family did the best they could. There but for fortune . . . blah blah blah

I think the Reiner parents tried. I don't think the Kohberger parents did. But I think a kid like Nick Reiner, without his parents money, would have been dead on the streets or arrested long before he murdered his parents.

The Kohlbergers had way, way fewer resources than the Reiners. And the still got their kid off heroine, through rehab, through a college program and onto a career path. I don't know how you can see that as "not trying." This is literally what people on this site talk about as being the goal for troubled kids -- get them clean, get them to take responsibility for their own lives, get them on some kind of career path towards self-sufficiency. They did that and it was probably really hard. It's just that this kid wasn't just struggling with mental health or addiction. He was a sociopathic killer. What are you supposed to "try" to deal with that issue? Even if they saw signs of it they probably didn't trust it. He seemed okay. He seemed to be doing well, actually.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe BK was always a problem child, however, I do not believe his parents had reason to think he would turn into a quadruple murderer. I don’t blame his family at all, but I find the sister’s interview self serving and a bad look.

Of course he was. He was morbidly obese, bullied, then lost a ton of weight. He clearly seems to have autism and who knows what else. He was weird, at best, and scary to the women around him and they had meetings to discuss his off putting behavior. But the family saw nothing. How odd.

Oh what medical credentials do you have that allow you to diagnose autism without examining a patient?

I said he “seems” it’s not a diagnosis. But his lawyers say the same thing so maybe you’ll take their word for it. It’s pretty obvious.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/24/us/bryan-kohberger-death-penalty-autism-diagnosis

+1 which means he was displaying odd behaviors for a very long time. He should have been under a psychiatrist's care with close monitoring and appropriate meds.

Brian was 28 at the time of the murders, had just graduated from DeSales University and had been accepted into a good PhD program with recommendations from recognized professors.

How do you force an adult to not only see a psychiatrist, but also take the recommended meds? Police: my son is wearing gloves and calling me at 6am - please take him to a locked psych facility and let's mess up his PhD studies and assure he never graduates.

It's one thing if a person has acted out violently in public and put others at risk. It's another that he has ASD traits and odd behavior. In order to lock up this one rare murderer, we are going to have to lock up a ton of people who act odd, but have never threatened others with violence.

Never threatened others with violence? Looks like he had a physical altercation with his sister. Someone in here acted like that was totally normal, but I don’t agree with that. She tried to force him out of the house and he grabbed her hands. What’s up with that?

I agreed above that the sister's claim that Brian wasn't violent, then mentioning he grabbed her hands didn't line up. But no one called the police, no one pressed charges at the time. And maybe the sister was more the aggressor during that argument, who knows?

So now mom calls the police and says, hey, my 28yo son got into an argument with his sister 7 years ago and they both were fighting each other, but my son secured her hands so she couldn't hurt him, so will you please commit him to a mental facility because he might be violent in the future?

It's just not practical to lock up all these people with odd behaviors. We stand a better chance if they have threatened strangers with unexplained violence, police were involved, charges were involved, etc. But getting into a shoving match with your sibling and grabbing her hands to keep her from hitting you or hitting you back? I just don't think this rises to locking people up or forcing them into psychiatric care and forced meds.

Well, there were certainly signs at work:

“She said Kohberger would stand at the assistant’s desk, even directly behind her at times, looking over her shoulder as she worked. Another professor was asked to escort the assistant to her car after work because of Kohberger’s behavior, according to the documents.

One student said whenever she looked up, Kohberger, who was a teaching assistant in her class, was “always” staring, according to the records. He rarely spoke to students, she told police. She felt he would time his exit to leave when she did and then follow her to her car.”
…

“Mark my word, I work with predators, if we give him a PhD, that’s the guy that in many years when he is a professor, we will hear is harassing, stalking, and sexually abusing … his students,” one of Kohberger’s teachers told her colleagues during the meeting, according to the documents.



https://www.cnn.com/2025/08/19/us/kohberger-washington-state-university-peers-police-interviews-hnk

PP you responded to, and yes, these are scary behaviors. When I last read about the case, I heard Brian was about to lose his TA position. I don't know if kicking him out as a student would have been the next step.

But it's so hard to leap from these weird, disturbing behaviors, to taking these behaviors to a court of law and asking the state to arrest him and/or "lock him up"?

I just don't see how we only siphon out the bad guys who will go on to do heinous things, without locking up a bunch of weirdos who we worry might do terrible things, but would have just continued to be oddballs who never became violent.

We need to at least move past the idea that nobody could have seen this coming because he was acting perfectly normal.

I don't think anyone has ever claimed that he behaved perfectly normal. I think the issue is that you would normally expect some history of escalating acts of violence before someone commits a quadruple murder, and we just have no evidence of that. Yes, staring at women and making them uncomfortable is bad. Yes, getting into an argument with his sister where he was restraining her hands is not an example of a normally functioning person. But neither of those things make me think he's literally about to murder someone. They make me think he sounds troubled, he should see a therapist, he might have anger management or a neurological issues, etc.

But not that he is a murderer. He wasn't normal, but if all we knew about him was what his family or employer knew, I would not have expected him to kill anyone. Even the comment by the professor in that meeting concerning him at school, what was her concern? That he would get his PhD and become a professor who harasses and assaults students. That's awful and I'm really glad she spoke up. But that's not the same as murder.

I feel like the only way you could have anticipated he would do this is if his purchase of the knife online had been flagged in a way that had alerted his family or employer, or if, as people suspect, he was casing this house for some time before the murder, that behavior had been known and flagged to his family or employer. But how?

I find it impossible to believe his family didn’t have some inkling of what he was really like. He seems deeps disturbed at best. The sister is being dishonest.

His sister is more than dishonest. It is quite obvious she also suffers from severe mental illness .

Exactly. The lesson here isn't "Welp! What can we do! Nobody could have seen this coming!" But it's to make sure kids get the support and diagnoses they need from a very young age. Clearly Bryan didn't. His parents and family failed him.

Careful, your belief in just world shows.

Nick Reiner had all the supports imaginable, and look how that turned out.

His parents money shielded him from the consequences most people in his situation would have been in.

What consequences? He has been living on the streets. Do you mean that without his parents’ support he would have died before having a chance to kill them?

Probably so. 17 rehab attempts and didn't remain on streets forever. Should have been hospitalized indefinitely.

All thse creeps with issues but Britney Spears is the one that gets put under w conservatorship. Fascinating really.

Our society has always been willing to lock up women. Data shows that after puberty the vast majority of US children in feebleminded institutions were girls. Girls and women have always only been as safe as their fathers and husbands allow them to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we need to be open to the possibility that Brian Kohlberger is a true sociopath, and that the reason his family may not have realized he was dangerous is because he did a good job of convincing them that he was not dangerous.

A key piece of evidence here is that it's not just his family saying they didn't see this coming -- he had two successful, female professors in undergrad who were not only very impressed by him but one wound up recommending him for his PhD program and wrote a glowing recommendation. This woman was an expert in criminal behavior. If he convinced her, it's really not that much of a stretch to think he probably knew what to say to his parents and sisters to make them think he was okay or on the right path.

It appears his behavior became notably more aggressive when he started his PhD program, with his behavior towards students and colleagues.

Also there are these clues from his past. No history of violence at school or with the criminal justice system, but we know he was bullied a lot in school, that expressed in a journal at some point that he couldn't feel or would do things to try and make himself feel, and also that he developed a heroine addiction. All of this points to a psychology where he might have had deeply buried trauma and suppressed rage, that he may use risk-seeking behavior to try and trigger emotional responses or to "feel human", including heroine use, but he was a recovering addict and was not using heroine. Well, people like that tend to try and replace it with something else.

I think he is a sociopath but that he was also very intelligent and had a lot of self control which enabled him to fool his parents, his sisters, and his professors. An intelligent person who has these kinds of issues will learn exactly what other people want to hear from him. He will understand the script of the recovering addict or what he needs to say to a professor to explain why it took him longer to finish undergrad or what to tell his sister to explain away troubling behavior. And successfully convincing these people to trust him, forgive him, and support him might have built up his ego to the point of arrogance. From the outside this could look like a smart kid who got bullied in school finally overcoming his challenges and making good. His family saw him as, yes, someone with issues, but on an upward trajectory. And his success at DeSales would have confirmed that for them because the people there would be outsiders who had no reason to accept Brian or give him another chance. So getting these endorsements from professors and people saying he's smart, he has a good career ahead of him -- that would have been very convincing for his family, I think. Keep in mind he was only 28. He'd only had one major set back, his addiction, and it was easy to blame his issues on that. It's not like he was 40 and in and out of rehabs for years or had been in trouble with the law multiple times. He'd hit rock bottom but appeared to have recovered and be past it.

Then he got to Idaho and probably was feeling particularly confident and powerful, having convinced all these other people that he was doing well, even excelling. Which maybe led to overconfidence and overreaching, and his arrogant and aggressive behavior towards students and women in his department, as well as women socially. And he experienced multiple rejections, lost his TA position, was banned from bars, and had women refusing to speak to him or go out with him. And I do think this led him to "snap" so to speak. I know he's been diagnosed with autism but it sounds like he may have BPD and was engaged in splitting. Before Idaho he would have been in a manic phase and had beliefs in his own grandiosity, which to his family and others might have just looked like finally getting it together. And then he faced setbacks in Idaho and this flip and destroyed his sense of any self worth and the murder took place from the bottom of a deep well of depression.

I just think it's a mistake to think this guy who killed four total strangers out of nowhere had like a normal progression of mental illness that other people should have figure out and solved. I think he's a sociopath, like most mass killers. People who have more normal mental health problems like autism or depression or PTSD don't stalk and murder four strangers. I think his sociopathy actually partly explains the the people who knew him best before this happened didn't see it coming. He was smart enough to keep them from seeing the scariest parts of him, and his particular psychology was almost designed to conceal them from others.

I just don't see how you blame the family here, unless something comes out that he was abused or neglected as a kid. But in that case, it wouldn't be the sister who was culpable -- she'd likely be another victim of the same abuse and neglect. From what we know now though, he just sounds like a sociopath who maybe wound up on that path due to innate psychological traits.

+1 +1 +1
This is so well stated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I believe BK was always a problem child, however, I do not believe his parents had reason to think he would turn into a quadruple murderer. I don’t blame his family at all, but I find the sister’s interview self serving and a bad look.

Of course he was. He was morbidly obese, bullied, then lost a ton of weight. He clearly seems to have autism and who knows what else. He was weird, at best, and scary to the women around him and they had meetings to discuss his off putting behavior. But the family saw nothing. How odd.

Oh what medical credentials do you have that allow you to diagnose autism without examining a patient?

I said he “seems” it’s not a diagnosis. But his lawyers say the same thing so maybe you’ll take their word for it. It’s pretty obvious.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/24/us/bryan-kohberger-death-penalty-autism-diagnosis

+1 which means he was displaying odd behaviors for a very long time. He should have been under a psychiatrist's care with close monitoring and appropriate meds.

Brian was 28 at the time of the murders, had just graduated from DeSales University and had been accepted into a good PhD program with recommendations from recognized professors.

How do you force an adult to not only see a psychiatrist, but also take the recommended meds? Police: my son is wearing gloves and calling me at 6am - please take him to a locked psych facility and let's mess up his PhD studies and assure he never graduates.

It's one thing if a person has acted out violently in public and put others at risk. It's another that he has ASD traits and odd behavior. In order to lock up this one rare murderer, we are going to have to lock up a ton of people who act odd, but have never threatened others with violence.

Never threatened others with violence? Looks like he had a physical altercation with his sister. Someone in here acted like that was totally normal, but I don’t agree with that. She tried to force him out of the house and he grabbed her hands. What’s up with that?

I agreed above that the sister's claim that Brian wasn't violent, then mentioning he grabbed her hands didn't line up. But no one called the police, no one pressed charges at the time. And maybe the sister was more the aggressor during that argument, who knows?

So now mom calls the police and says, hey, my 28yo son got into an argument with his sister 7 years ago and they both were fighting each other, but my son secured her hands so she couldn't hurt him, so will you please commit him to a mental facility because he might be violent in the future?

It's just not practical to lock up all these people with odd behaviors. We stand a better chance if they have threatened strangers with unexplained violence, police were involved, charges were involved, etc. But getting into a shoving match with your sibling and grabbing her hands to keep her from hitting you or hitting you back? I just don't think this rises to locking people up or forcing them into psychiatric care and forced meds.

Well, there were certainly signs at work:

“She said Kohberger would stand at the assistant’s desk, even directly behind her at times, looking over her shoulder as she worked. Another professor was asked to escort the assistant to her car after work because of Kohberger’s behavior, according to the documents.

One student said whenever she looked up, Kohberger, who was a teaching assistant in her class, was “always” staring, according to the records. He rarely spoke to students, she told police. She felt he would time his exit to leave when she did and then follow her to her car.”
…

“Mark my word, I work with predators, if we give him a PhD, that’s the guy that in many years when he is a professor, we will hear is harassing, stalking, and sexually abusing … his students,” one of Kohberger’s teachers told her colleagues during the meeting, according to the documents.



https://www.cnn.com/2025/08/19/us/kohberger-washington-state-university-peers-police-interviews-hnk

PP you responded to, and yes, these are scary behaviors. When I last read about the case, I heard Brian was about to lose his TA position. I don't know if kicking him out as a student would have been the next step.

But it's so hard to leap from these weird, disturbing behaviors, to taking these behaviors to a court of law and asking the state to arrest him and/or "lock him up"?

I just don't see how we only siphon out the bad guys who will go on to do heinous things, without locking up a bunch of weirdos who we worry might do terrible things, but would have just continued to be oddballs who never became violent.

We need to at least move past the idea that nobody could have seen this coming because he was acting perfectly normal.

I don't think anyone has ever claimed that he behaved perfectly normal. I think the issue is that you would normally expect some history of escalating acts of violence before someone commits a quadruple murder, and we just have no evidence of that. Yes, staring at women and making them uncomfortable is bad. Yes, getting into an argument with his sister where he was restraining her hands is not an example of a normally functioning person. But neither of those things make me think he's literally about to murder someone. They make me think he sounds troubled, he should see a therapist, he might have anger management or a neurological issues, etc.

But not that he is a murderer. He wasn't normal, but if all we knew about him was what his family or employer knew, I would not have expected him to kill anyone. Even the comment by the professor in that meeting concerning him at school, what was her concern? That he would get his PhD and become a professor who harasses and assaults students. That's awful and I'm really glad she spoke up. But that's not the same as murder.

I feel like the only way you could have anticipated he would do this is if his purchase of the knife online had been flagged in a way that had alerted his family or employer, or if, as people suspect, he was casing this house for some time before the murder, that behavior had been known and flagged to his family or employer. But how?

I find it impossible to believe his family didn’t have some inkling of what he was really like. He seems deeps disturbed at best. The sister is being dishonest.

His sister is more than dishonest. It is quite obvious she also suffers from severe mental illness .

Exactly. The lesson here isn't "Welp! What can we do! Nobody could have seen this coming!" But it's to make sure kids get the support and diagnoses they need from a very young age. Clearly Bryan didn't. His parents and family failed him.

Careful, your belief in just world shows.

Nick Reiner had all the supports imaginable, and look how that turned out.

His parents money shielded him from the consequences most people in his situation would have been in.

What consequences? He has been living on the streets. Do you mean that without his parents’ support he would have died before having a chance to kill them?

Probably so. 17 rehab attempts and didn't remain on streets forever. Should have been hospitalized indefinitely.

Hospitalized where? By who? It's incredibly hard for drug addicts to get spaces for rehab and in hospitals. Those with severe mental health issues too. A lot of people are begging for spaces for their relatives and can't get them, and when something bad happens, people look with hindsight and say "more should have been done."

They took him in and put him in the guest house to keep him off the streets. Where do you think people who don't have access to a Brentwood guest house go?

Bedroom in your house, of course.

I mean bedroom in their parent's house. Adult mentally ill children live with their parents all the time. The only thing he had that many don't is the easy availability of a bed in a rehab center. Relapse rates are high always, and he got another chance (and another and another) after many other families would have exhausted money. These chances didn't shield him and almost all families wish they had these additional chances to offer their kids. That is all he got that others don't. Many parents spend their old age trying and failing and trying again to help their mentally ill, periodically drug addicted kids get the help they need. It is hard. Their money didn't make it that much easier.

Ha wrong thread. I thought we were talking about the Reiner kid. But most of this is the same. Getting an adult mental health treatment is hard. This family did the best they could. There but for fortune . . . blah blah blah

I think the Reiner parents tried. I don't think the Kohberger parents did. But I think a kid like Nick Reiner, without his parents money, would have been dead on the streets or arrested long before he murdered his parents.

The Kohlbergers had way, way fewer resources than the Reiners. And the still got their kid off heroine, through rehab, through a college program and onto a career path. I don't know how you can see that as "not trying." This is literally what people on this site talk about as being the goal for troubled kids -- get them clean, get them to take responsibility for their own lives, get them on some kind of career path towards self-sufficiency. They did that and it was probably really hard. It's just that this kid wasn't just struggling with mental health or addiction. He was a sociopathic killer. What are you supposed to "try" to deal with that issue? Even if they saw signs of it they probably didn't trust it. He seemed okay. He seemed to be doing well, actually.

Because he didn't seem to have the diagnosis or mental supports at any point. His diagnoses are fairly new, right before the trial. Why is that? We know his issues didn't just start before the killings. I knew a few posters are very eager to absolve the parents based on scant evidence. The Reiner assistance is much more widely known. Bryan talked to his mother constantly. You aren't going to convince me that they shot the shit for hours a day and she had no idea what he was like.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I believe BK was always a problem child, however, I do not believe his parents had reason to think he would turn into a quadruple murderer. I don’t blame his family at all, but I find the sister’s interview self serving and a bad look.

Of course he was. He was morbidly obese, bullied, then lost a ton of weight. He clearly seems to have autism and who knows what else. He was weird, at best, and scary to the women around him and they had meetings to discuss his off putting behavior. But the family saw nothing. How odd.

Oh what medical credentials do you have that allow you to diagnose autism without examining a patient?

I said he “seems” it’s not a diagnosis. But his lawyers say the same thing so maybe you’ll take their word for it. It’s pretty obvious.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/24/us/bryan-kohberger-death-penalty-autism-diagnosis

+1 which means he was displaying odd behaviors for a very long time. He should have been under a psychiatrist's care with close monitoring and appropriate meds.

Brian was 28 at the time of the murders, had just graduated from DeSales University and had been accepted into a good PhD program with recommendations from recognized professors.

How do you force an adult to not only see a psychiatrist, but also take the recommended meds? Police: my son is wearing gloves and calling me at 6am - please take him to a locked psych facility and let's mess up his PhD studies and assure he never graduates.

It's one thing if a person has acted out violently in public and put others at risk. It's another that he has ASD traits and odd behavior. In order to lock up this one rare murderer, we are going to have to lock up a ton of people who act odd, but have never threatened others with violence.

Never threatened others with violence? Looks like he had a physical altercation with his sister. Someone in here acted like that was totally normal, but I don’t agree with that. She tried to force him out of the house and he grabbed her hands. What’s up with that?

I agreed above that the sister's claim that Brian wasn't violent, then mentioning he grabbed her hands didn't line up. But no one called the police, no one pressed charges at the time. And maybe the sister was more the aggressor during that argument, who knows?

So now mom calls the police and says, hey, my 28yo son got into an argument with his sister 7 years ago and they both were fighting each other, but my son secured her hands so she couldn't hurt him, so will you please commit him to a mental facility because he might be violent in the future?

It's just not practical to lock up all these people with odd behaviors. We stand a better chance if they have threatened strangers with unexplained violence, police were involved, charges were involved, etc. But getting into a shoving match with your sibling and grabbing her hands to keep her from hitting you or hitting you back? I just don't think this rises to locking people up or forcing them into psychiatric care and forced meds.

Well, there were certainly signs at work:

“She said Kohberger would stand at the assistant’s desk, even directly behind her at times, looking over her shoulder as she worked. Another professor was asked to escort the assistant to her car after work because of Kohberger’s behavior, according to the documents.

One student said whenever she looked up, Kohberger, who was a teaching assistant in her class, was “always” staring, according to the records. He rarely spoke to students, she told police. She felt he would time his exit to leave when she did and then follow her to her car.”
…

“Mark my word, I work with predators, if we give him a PhD, that’s the guy that in many years when he is a professor, we will hear is harassing, stalking, and sexually abusing … his students,” one of Kohberger’s teachers told her colleagues during the meeting, according to the documents.



https://www.cnn.com/2025/08/19/us/kohberger-washington-state-university-peers-police-interviews-hnk

PP you responded to, and yes, these are scary behaviors. When I last read about the case, I heard Brian was about to lose his TA position. I don't know if kicking him out as a student would have been the next step.

But it's so hard to leap from these weird, disturbing behaviors, to taking these behaviors to a court of law and asking the state to arrest him and/or "lock him up"?

I just don't see how we only siphon out the bad guys who will go on to do heinous things, without locking up a bunch of weirdos who we worry might do terrible things, but would have just continued to be oddballs who never became violent.

We need to at least move past the idea that nobody could have seen this coming because he was acting perfectly normal.

I don't think anyone has ever claimed that he behaved perfectly normal. I think the issue is that you would normally expect some history of escalating acts of violence before someone commits a quadruple murder, and we just have no evidence of that. Yes, staring at women and making them uncomfortable is bad. Yes, getting into an argument with his sister where he was restraining her hands is not an example of a normally functioning person. But neither of those things make me think he's literally about to murder someone. They make me think he sounds troubled, he should see a therapist, he might have anger management or a neurological issues, etc.

But not that he is a murderer. He wasn't normal, but if all we knew about him was what his family or employer knew, I would not have expected him to kill anyone. Even the comment by the professor in that meeting concerning him at school, what was her concern? That he would get his PhD and become a professor who harasses and assaults students. That's awful and I'm really glad she spoke up. But that's not the same as murder.

I feel like the only way you could have anticipated he would do this is if his purchase of the knife online had been flagged in a way that had alerted his family or employer, or if, as people suspect, he was casing this house for some time before the murder, that behavior had been known and flagged to his family or employer. But how?

I find it impossible to believe his family didn’t have some inkling of what he was really like. He seems deeps disturbed at best. The sister is being dishonest.

His sister is more than dishonest. It is quite obvious she also suffers from severe mental illness .

Exactly. The lesson here isn't "Welp! What can we do! Nobody could have seen this coming!" But it's to make sure kids get the support and diagnoses they need from a very young age. Clearly Bryan didn't. His parents and family failed him.

Careful, your belief in just world shows.

Nick Reiner had all the supports imaginable, and look how that turned out.

His parents money shielded him from the consequences most people in his situation would have been in.

What consequences? He has been living on the streets. Do you mean that without his parents’ support he would have died before having a chance to kill them?

Probably so. 17 rehab attempts and didn't remain on streets forever. Should have been hospitalized indefinitely.

Hospitalized where? By who? It's incredibly hard for drug addicts to get spaces for rehab and in hospitals. Those with severe mental health issues too. A lot of people are begging for spaces for their relatives and can't get them, and when something bad happens, people look with hindsight and say "more should have been done."

They took him in and put him in the guest house to keep him off the streets. Where do you think people who don't have access to a Brentwood guest house go?

Bedroom in your house, of course.

I mean bedroom in their parent's house. Adult mentally ill children live with their parents all the time. The only thing he had that many don't is the easy availability of a bed in a rehab center. Relapse rates are high always, and he got another chance (and another and another) after many other families would have exhausted money. These chances didn't shield him and almost all families wish they had these additional chances to offer their kids. That is all he got that others don't. Many parents spend their old age trying and failing and trying again to help their mentally ill, periodically drug addicted kids get the help they need. It is hard. Their money didn't make it that much easier.

Ha wrong thread. I thought we were talking about the Reiner kid. But most of this is the same. Getting an adult mental health treatment is hard. This family did the best they could. There but for fortune . . . blah blah blah

I think the Reiner parents tried. I don't think the Kohberger parents did. But I think a kid like Nick Reiner, without his parents money, would have been dead on the streets or arrested long before he murdered his parents.

The Kohlbergers had way, way fewer resources than the Reiners. And the still got their kid off heroine, through rehab, through a college program and onto a career path. I don't know how you can see that as "not trying." This is literally what people on this site talk about as being the goal for troubled kids -- get them clean, get them to take responsibility for their own lives, get them on some kind of career path towards self-sufficiency. They did that and it was probably really hard. It's just that this kid wasn't just struggling with mental health or addiction. He was a sociopathic killer. What are you supposed to "try" to deal with that issue? Even if they saw signs of it they probably didn't trust it. He seemed okay. He seemed to be doing well, actually.

Because he didn't seem to have the diagnosis or mental supports at any point. His diagnoses are fairly new, right before the trial. Why is that? We know his issues didn't just start before the killings. I knew a few posters are very eager to absolve the parents based on scant evidence. The Reiner assistance is much more widely known. Bryan talked to his mother constantly. You aren't going to convince me that they shot the shit for hours a day and she had no idea what he was like.

I don't know when he got his autism diagnosis, but it's false to say he had no mental supports "at any point." He went to rehab. Also I don't know what the exact situation was in high school but it sound like the bullying was documented and that he had interaction with a guidance counselor and people were aware of what was going on and that he was struggling.

Autism diagnosis has changed a lot in the last 12-14 years. Brian does not have the kind of autism that would present as a toddler and be obvious to others as autism in the 2010-2016 or so environment. He is verbal, communicative, and I have not heard anything about stimming behavior or other obvious tells. He is highly intelligent. He had a weight issue, got bullied, and developed a drug problem. It is easier to say in retrospect that maybe he was ND and that these issues could have been avoided if he'd gotten a neuropsychiatric exam at age 12 or 14. But at the time I doubt his teachers would have said "autism." That's not how autism was defined at the time. His parents were not wealthy and even if it would have occurred to them to get him tested, they likely would have had to pay out of pocket because I doubt a pediatrician would have referred him for it either. They would have said "no he's just developing, this is normal, kids go through awkward phases."

Brian's mother obviously knew "what he is like." But I can tell you as someone who has a brother with an addiction issue and whose mom has spent many hours talking to my brother and "shooting the shit" -- she knows obviously that he has issues, she thinks about it all the time, but she's also always looking for the good, for signs that things are going well. My brother recently went through rehab and my mom must have said to me 60x in the last 6 months "he's doing so much better, I think this was really good for him, I really see the positive change." I am more skeptical. But I'm not his mom. And no, I don't think my brother would hurt anyone, he's not violent. I believe there is good in him and I only want him to get better. But I learned a long time ago that you can't make another adult be who you want them to be. You choose your own behavior and set your boundaries and hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we need to be open to the possibility that Brian Kohlberger is a true sociopath, and that the reason his family may not have realized he was dangerous is because he did a good job of convincing them that he was not dangerous.

A key piece of evidence here is that it's not just his family saying they didn't see this coming -- he had two successful, female professors in undergrad who were not only very impressed by him but one wound up recommending him for his PhD program and wrote a glowing recommendation. This woman was an expert in criminal behavior. If he convinced her, it's really not that much of a stretch to think he probably knew what to say to his parents and sisters to make them think he was okay or on the right path.

It appears his behavior became notably more aggressive when he started his PhD program, with his behavior towards students and colleagues.

Also there are these clues from his past. No history of violence at school or with the criminal justice system, but we know he was bullied a lot in school, that expressed in a journal at some point that he couldn't feel or would do things to try and make himself feel, and also that he developed a heroine addiction. All of this points to a psychology where he might have had deeply buried trauma and suppressed rage, that he may use risk-seeking behavior to try and trigger emotional responses or to "feel human", including heroine use, but he was a recovering addict and was not using heroine. Well, people like that tend to try and replace it with something else.

I think he is a sociopath but that he was also very intelligent and had a lot of self control which enabled him to fool his parents, his sisters, and his professors. An intelligent person who has these kinds of issues will learn exactly what other people want to hear from him. He will understand the script of the recovering addict or what he needs to say to a professor to explain why it took him longer to finish undergrad or what to tell his sister to explain away troubling behavior. And successfully convincing these people to trust him, forgive him, and support him might have built up his ego to the point of arrogance. From the outside this could look like a smart kid who got bullied in school finally overcoming his challenges and making good. His family saw him as, yes, someone with issues, but on an upward trajectory. And his success at DeSales would have confirmed that for them because the people there would be outsiders who had no reason to accept Brian or give him another chance. So getting these endorsements from professors and people saying he's smart, he has a good career ahead of him -- that would have been very convincing for his family, I think. Keep in mind he was only 28. He'd only had one major set back, his addiction, and it was easy to blame his issues on that. It's not like he was 40 and in and out of rehabs for years or had been in trouble with the law multiple times. He'd hit rock bottom but appeared to have recovered and be past it.

Then he got to Idaho and probably was feeling particularly confident and powerful, having convinced all these other people that he was doing well, even excelling. Which maybe led to overconfidence and overreaching, and his arrogant and aggressive behavior towards students and women in his department, as well as women socially. And he experienced multiple rejections, lost his TA position, was banned from bars, and had women refusing to speak to him or go out with him. And I do think this led him to "snap" so to speak. I know he's been diagnosed with autism but it sounds like he may have BPD and was engaged in splitting. Before Idaho he would have been in a manic phase and had beliefs in his own grandiosity, which to his family and others might have just looked like finally getting it together. And then he faced setbacks in Idaho and this flip and destroyed his sense of any self worth and the murder took place from the bottom of a deep well of depression.

I just think it's a mistake to think this guy who killed four total strangers out of nowhere had like a normal progression of mental illness that other people should have figure out and solved. I think he's a sociopath, like most mass killers. People who have more normal mental health problems like autism or depression or PTSD don't stalk and murder four strangers. I think his sociopathy actually partly explains the the people who knew him best before this happened didn't see it coming. He was smart enough to keep them from seeing the scariest parts of him, and his particular psychology was almost designed to conceal them from others.

I just don't see how you blame the family here, unless something comes out that he was abused or neglected as a kid. But in that case, it wouldn't be the sister who was culpable -- she'd likely be another victim of the same abuse and neglect. From what we know now though, he just sounds like a sociopath who maybe wound up on that path due to innate psychological traits.

Criminologist/psychologist here.I believe he was just your classic case,garden variety psychopath. Most of them never go to jail and many of them never end up engaging in violence. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible to predict who will become violent, even if you see the signs of psychopathy. I would also discourage throwing around a diagnosis like BPD- there is absolutely no evidence that he had borderline personality disorder.

[Anonymous]

Everyone here is trying to parse the meaning (or meaninglessness) of this NYT interview without considering the paper's agenda.
Haven't most of you noticed that the NYT panders to a certain demographic? Do you think this story would be printed in the Post or the WSJ?
I used to be an avid reader of the Times, then I got older and could not stop noticing the slant. Their stories are relevant to a certain age group because they need to keep that audience. They lose their audience as they get older, just like they lost this reader.
The Kohlberger daughter is exactly the sort of not-self-aware generation of readership they pander to.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I believe BK was always a problem child, however, I do not believe his parents had reason to think he would turn into a quadruple murderer. I don’t blame his family at all, but I find the sister’s interview self serving and a bad look.

Of course he was. He was morbidly obese, bullied, then lost a ton of weight. He clearly seems to have autism and who knows what else. He was weird, at best, and scary to the women around him and they had meetings to discuss his off putting behavior. But the family saw nothing. How odd.

Oh what medical credentials do you have that allow you to diagnose autism without examining a patient?

I said he “seems” it’s not a diagnosis. But his lawyers say the same thing so maybe you’ll take their word for it. It’s pretty obvious.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/24/us/bryan-kohberger-death-penalty-autism-diagnosis

+1 which means he was displaying odd behaviors for a very long time. He should have been under a psychiatrist's care with close monitoring and appropriate meds.

Brian was 28 at the time of the murders, had just graduated from DeSales University and had been accepted into a good PhD program with recommendations from recognized professors.

How do you force an adult to not only see a psychiatrist, but also take the recommended meds? Police: my son is wearing gloves and calling me at 6am - please take him to a locked psych facility and let's mess up his PhD studies and assure he never graduates.

It's one thing if a person has acted out violently in public and put others at risk. It's another that he has ASD traits and odd behavior. In order to lock up this one rare murderer, we are going to have to lock up a ton of people who act odd, but have never threatened others with violence.

Never threatened others with violence? Looks like he had a physical altercation with his sister. Someone in here acted like that was totally normal, but I don’t agree with that. She tried to force him out of the house and he grabbed her hands. What’s up with that?

I agreed above that the sister's claim that Brian wasn't violent, then mentioning he grabbed her hands didn't line up. But no one called the police, no one pressed charges at the time. And maybe the sister was more the aggressor during that argument, who knows?

So now mom calls the police and says, hey, my 28yo son got into an argument with his sister 7 years ago and they both were fighting each other, but my son secured her hands so she couldn't hurt him, so will you please commit him to a mental facility because he might be violent in the future?

It's just not practical to lock up all these people with odd behaviors. We stand a better chance if they have threatened strangers with unexplained violence, police were involved, charges were involved, etc. But getting into a shoving match with your sibling and grabbing her hands to keep her from hitting you or hitting you back? I just don't think this rises to locking people up or forcing them into psychiatric care and forced meds.

Well, there were certainly signs at work:

“She said Kohberger would stand at the assistant’s desk, even directly behind her at times, looking over her shoulder as she worked. Another professor was asked to escort the assistant to her car after work because of Kohberger’s behavior, according to the documents.

One student said whenever she looked up, Kohberger, who was a teaching assistant in her class, was “always” staring, according to the records. He rarely spoke to students, she told police. She felt he would time his exit to leave when she did and then follow her to her car.”
…

“Mark my word, I work with predators, if we give him a PhD, that’s the guy that in many years when he is a professor, we will hear is harassing, stalking, and sexually abusing … his students,” one of Kohberger’s teachers told her colleagues during the meeting, according to the documents.



https://www.cnn.com/2025/08/19/us/kohberger-washington-state-university-peers-police-interviews-hnk

PP you responded to, and yes, these are scary behaviors. When I last read about the case, I heard Brian was about to lose his TA position. I don't know if kicking him out as a student would have been the next step.

But it's so hard to leap from these weird, disturbing behaviors, to taking these behaviors to a court of law and asking the state to arrest him and/or "lock him up"?

I just don't see how we only siphon out the bad guys who will go on to do heinous things, without locking up a bunch of weirdos who we worry might do terrible things, but would have just continued to be oddballs who never became violent.

We need to at least move past the idea that nobody could have seen this coming because he was acting perfectly normal.

I don't think anyone has ever claimed that he behaved perfectly normal. I think the issue is that you would normally expect some history of escalating acts of violence before someone commits a quadruple murder, and we just have no evidence of that. Yes, staring at women and making them uncomfortable is bad. Yes, getting into an argument with his sister where he was restraining her hands is not an example of a normally functioning person. But neither of those things make me think he's literally about to murder someone. They make me think he sounds troubled, he should see a therapist, he might have anger management or a neurological issues, etc.

But not that he is a murderer. He wasn't normal, but if all we knew about him was what his family or employer knew, I would not have expected him to kill anyone. Even the comment by the professor in that meeting concerning him at school, what was her concern? That he would get his PhD and become a professor who harasses and assaults students. That's awful and I'm really glad she spoke up. But that's not the same as murder.

I feel like the only way you could have anticipated he would do this is if his purchase of the knife online had been flagged in a way that had alerted his family or employer, or if, as people suspect, he was casing this house for some time before the murder, that behavior had been known and flagged to his family or employer. But how?

I find it impossible to believe his family didn’t have some inkling of what he was really like. He seems deeps disturbed at best. The sister is being dishonest.

His sister is more than dishonest. It is quite obvious she also suffers from severe mental illness .

Exactly. The lesson here isn't "Welp! What can we do! Nobody could have seen this coming!" But it's to make sure kids get the support and diagnoses they need from a very young age. Clearly Bryan didn't. His parents and family failed him.

Careful, your belief in just world shows.

Nick Reiner had all the supports imaginable, and look how that turned out.

His parents money shielded him from the consequences most people in his situation would have been in.

What consequences? He has been living on the streets. Do you mean that without his parents’ support he would have died before having a chance to kill them?

Probably so. 17 rehab attempts and didn't remain on streets forever. Should have been hospitalized indefinitely.

Hospitalized where? By who? It's incredibly hard for drug addicts to get spaces for rehab and in hospitals. Those with severe mental health issues too. A lot of people are begging for spaces for their relatives and can't get them, and when something bad happens, people look with hindsight and say "more should have been done."

They took him in and put him in the guest house to keep him off the streets. Where do you think people who don't have access to a Brentwood guest house go?

Bedroom in your house, of course.

I mean bedroom in their parent's house. Adult mentally ill children live with their parents all the time. The only thing he had that many don't is the easy availability of a bed in a rehab center. Relapse rates are high always, and he got another chance (and another and another) after many other families would have exhausted money. These chances didn't shield him and almost all families wish they had these additional chances to offer their kids. That is all he got that others don't. Many parents spend their old age trying and failing and trying again to help their mentally ill, periodically drug addicted kids get the help they need. It is hard. Their money didn't make it that much easier.

Ha wrong thread. I thought we were talking about the Reiner kid. But most of this is the same. Getting an adult mental health treatment is hard. This family did the best they could. There but for fortune . . . blah blah blah

I think the Reiner parents tried. I don't think the Kohberger parents did. But I think a kid like Nick Reiner, without his parents money, would have been dead on the streets or arrested long before he murdered his parents.

The Kohlbergers had way, way fewer resources than the Reiners. And the still got their kid off heroine, through rehab, through a college program and onto a career path. I don't know how you can see that as "not trying." This is literally what people on this site talk about as being the goal for troubled kids -- get them clean, get them to take responsibility for their own lives, get them on some kind of career path towards self-sufficiency. They did that and it was probably really hard. It's just that this kid wasn't just struggling with mental health or addiction. He was a sociopathic killer. What are you supposed to "try" to deal with that issue? Even if they saw signs of it they probably didn't trust it. He seemed okay. He seemed to be doing well, actually.

I agree. The family actually called the police when he stole his sister's phone so that they could force him into rehab. That's A LOT more than most parents do.

[Anonymous]

Horrible to say, but this thread is making me think the Reiners were lucky their son killed them instead of random people. Imagine the emotional pain, the recriminations, the loss of their legacy as people speculated "what they were hiding and could have done."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Horrible to say, but this thread is making me think the Reiners were lucky their son killed them instead of random people. Imagine the emotional pain, the recriminations, the loss of their legacy as people speculated "what they were hiding and could have done."

The Reiners were not in complete denial about him. The Kohbergers are gross. Blowing out the candles on his birthday since they can’t be with them? Who says that part out loud? Dysfunction through and through.

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Anonymous wrote:I believe BK was always a problem child, however, I do not believe his parents had reason to think he would turn into a quadruple murderer. I don’t blame his family at all, but I find the sister’s interview self serving and a bad look.

Of course he was. He was morbidly obese, bullied, then lost a ton of weight. He clearly seems to have autism and who knows what else. He was weird, at best, and scary to the women around him and they had meetings to discuss his off putting behavior. But the family saw nothing. How odd.

Oh what medical credentials do you have that allow you to diagnose autism without examining a patient?

I said he “seems” it’s not a diagnosis. But his lawyers say the same thing so maybe you’ll take their word for it. It’s pretty obvious.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/24/us/bryan-kohberger-death-penalty-autism-diagnosis

+1 which means he was displaying odd behaviors for a very long time. He should have been under a psychiatrist's care with close monitoring and appropriate meds.

Brian was 28 at the time of the murders, had just graduated from DeSales University and had been accepted into a good PhD program with recommendations from recognized professors.

How do you force an adult to not only see a psychiatrist, but also take the recommended meds? Police: my son is wearing gloves and calling me at 6am - please take him to a locked psych facility and let's mess up his PhD studies and assure he never graduates.

It's one thing if a person has acted out violently in public and put others at risk. It's another that he has ASD traits and odd behavior. In order to lock up this one rare murderer, we are going to have to lock up a ton of people who act odd, but have never threatened others with violence.

Never threatened others with violence? Looks like he had a physical altercation with his sister. Someone in here acted like that was totally normal, but I don’t agree with that. She tried to force him out of the house and he grabbed her hands. What’s up with that?

I agreed above that the sister's claim that Brian wasn't violent, then mentioning he grabbed her hands didn't line up. But no one called the police, no one pressed charges at the time. And maybe the sister was more the aggressor during that argument, who knows?

So now mom calls the police and says, hey, my 28yo son got into an argument with his sister 7 years ago and they both were fighting each other, but my son secured her hands so she couldn't hurt him, so will you please commit him to a mental facility because he might be violent in the future?

It's just not practical to lock up all these people with odd behaviors. We stand a better chance if they have threatened strangers with unexplained violence, police were involved, charges were involved, etc. But getting into a shoving match with your sibling and grabbing her hands to keep her from hitting you or hitting you back? I just don't think this rises to locking people up or forcing them into psychiatric care and forced meds.

Well, there were certainly signs at work:

“She said Kohberger would stand at the assistant’s desk, even directly behind her at times, looking over her shoulder as she worked. Another professor was asked to escort the assistant to her car after work because of Kohberger’s behavior, according to the documents.

One student said whenever she looked up, Kohberger, who was a teaching assistant in her class, was “always” staring, according to the records. He rarely spoke to students, she told police. She felt he would time his exit to leave when she did and then follow her to her car.”
…

“Mark my word, I work with predators, if we give him a PhD, that’s the guy that in many years when he is a professor, we will hear is harassing, stalking, and sexually abusing … his students,” one of Kohberger’s teachers told her colleagues during the meeting, according to the documents.



https://www.cnn.com/2025/08/19/us/kohberger-washington-state-university-peers-police-interviews-hnk

PP you responded to, and yes, these are scary behaviors. When I last read about the case, I heard Brian was about to lose his TA position. I don't know if kicking him out as a student would have been the next step.

But it's so hard to leap from these weird, disturbing behaviors, to taking these behaviors to a court of law and asking the state to arrest him and/or "lock him up"?

I just don't see how we only siphon out the bad guys who will go on to do heinous things, without locking up a bunch of weirdos who we worry might do terrible things, but would have just continued to be oddballs who never became violent.

We need to at least move past the idea that nobody could have seen this coming because he was acting perfectly normal.

I don't think anyone has ever claimed that he behaved perfectly normal. I think the issue is that you would normally expect some history of escalating acts of violence before someone commits a quadruple murder, and we just have no evidence of that. Yes, staring at women and making them uncomfortable is bad. Yes, getting into an argument with his sister where he was restraining her hands is not an example of a normally functioning person. But neither of those things make me think he's literally about to murder someone. They make me think he sounds troubled, he should see a therapist, he might have anger management or a neurological issues, etc.

But not that he is a murderer. He wasn't normal, but if all we knew about him was what his family or employer knew, I would not have expected him to kill anyone. Even the comment by the professor in that meeting concerning him at school, what was her concern? That he would get his PhD and become a professor who harasses and assaults students. That's awful and I'm really glad she spoke up. But that's not the same as murder.

I feel like the only way you could have anticipated he would do this is if his purchase of the knife online had been flagged in a way that had alerted his family or employer, or if, as people suspect, he was casing this house for some time before the murder, that behavior had been known and flagged to his family or employer. But how?

I find it impossible to believe his family didn’t have some inkling of what he was really like. He seems deeps disturbed at best. The sister is being dishonest.

His sister is more than dishonest. It is quite obvious she also suffers from severe mental illness .

Exactly. The lesson here isn't "Welp! What can we do! Nobody could have seen this coming!" But it's to make sure kids get the support and diagnoses they need from a very young age. Clearly Bryan didn't. His parents and family failed him.

Careful, your belief in just world shows.

Nick Reiner had all the supports imaginable, and look how that turned out.

His parents money shielded him from the consequences most people in his situation would have been in.

What consequences? He has been living on the streets. Do you mean that without his parents’ support he would have died before having a chance to kill them?

Probably so. 17 rehab attempts and didn't remain on streets forever. Should have been hospitalized indefinitely.

Hospitalized where? By who? It's incredibly hard for drug addicts to get spaces for rehab and in hospitals. Those with severe mental health issues too. A lot of people are begging for spaces for their relatives and can't get them, and when something bad happens, people look with hindsight and say "more should have been done."

They took him in and put him in the guest house to keep him off the streets. Where do you think people who don't have access to a Brentwood guest house go?

Bedroom in your house, of course.

I mean bedroom in their parent's house. Adult mentally ill children live with their parents all the time. The only thing he had that many don't is the easy availability of a bed in a rehab center. Relapse rates are high always, and he got another chance (and another and another) after many other families would have exhausted money. These chances didn't shield him and almost all families wish they had these additional chances to offer their kids. That is all he got that others don't. Many parents spend their old age trying and failing and trying again to help their mentally ill, periodically drug addicted kids get the help they need. It is hard. Their money didn't make it that much easier.

Ha wrong thread. I thought we were talking about the Reiner kid. But most of this is the same. Getting an adult mental health treatment is hard. This family did the best they could. There but for fortune . . . blah blah blah

I think the Reiner parents tried. I don't think the Kohberger parents did. But I think a kid like Nick Reiner, without his parents money, would have been dead on the streets or arrested long before he murdered his parents.

The Kohlbergers had way, way fewer resources than the Reiners. And the still got their kid off heroine, through rehab, through a college program and onto a career path. I don't know how you can see that as "not trying." This is literally what people on this site talk about as being the goal for troubled kids -- get them clean, get them to take responsibility for their own lives, get them on some kind of career path towards self-sufficiency. They did that and it was probably really hard. It's just that this kid wasn't just struggling with mental health or addiction. He was a sociopathic killer. What are you supposed to "try" to deal with that issue? Even if they saw signs of it they probably didn't trust it. He seemed okay. He seemed to be doing well, actually.

Because he didn't seem to have the diagnosis or mental supports at any point. His diagnoses are fairly new, right before the trial. Why is that? We know his issues didn't just start before the killings. I knew a few posters are very eager to absolve the parents based on scant evidence. The Reiner assistance is much more widely known. Bryan talked to his mother constantly. You aren't going to convince me that they shot the shit for hours a day and she had no idea what he was like.

I don't know when he got his autism diagnosis, but it's false to say he had no mental supports "at any point." He went to rehab. Also I don't know what the exact situation was in high school but it sound like the bullying was documented and that he had interaction with a guidance counselor and people were aware of what was going on and that he was struggling.

Autism diagnosis has changed a lot in the last 12-14 years. Brian does not have the kind of autism that would present as a toddler and be obvious to others as autism in the 2010-2016 or so environment. He is verbal, communicative, and I have not heard anything about stimming behavior or other obvious tells. He is highly intelligent. He had a weight issue, got bullied, and developed a drug problem. It is easier to say in retrospect that maybe he was ND and that these issues could have been avoided if he'd gotten a neuropsychiatric exam at age 12 or 14. But at the time I doubt his teachers would have said "autism." That's not how autism was defined at the time. His parents were not wealthy and even if it would have occurred to them to get him tested, they likely would have had to pay out of pocket because I doubt a pediatrician would have referred him for it either. They would have said "no he's just developing, this is normal, kids go through awkward phases."

Brian's mother obviously knew "what he is like." But I can tell you as someone who has a brother with an addiction issue and whose mom has spent many hours talking to my brother and "shooting the shit" -- she knows obviously that he has issues, she thinks about it all the time, but she's also always looking for the good, for signs that things are going well. My brother recently went through rehab and my mom must have said to me 60x in the last 6 months "he's doing so much better, I think this was really good for him, I really see the positive change." I am more skeptical. But I'm not his mom. And no, I don't think my brother would hurt anyone, he's not violent. I believe there is good in him and I only want him to get better. But I learned a long time ago that you can't make another adult be who you want them to be. You choose your own behavior and set your boundaries and hope for the best.

So must projection here not based on the facts of this case.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Horrible to say, but this thread is making me think the Reiners were lucky their son killed them instead of random people. Imagine the emotional pain, the recriminations, the loss of their legacy as people speculated "what they were hiding and could have done."

The Reiners were not in complete denial about him. The Kohbergers are gross. Blowing out the candles on his birthday since they can’t be with them? Who says that part out loud? Dysfunction through and through.

I don't understand how that is dysfunctional or gross.

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Anonymous wrote:Not understanding the hate for BK family. Even if he was a weirdo and possibly violent wtf were they supposed to do about it? You can’t jail a psychopath prior to the crime. And it’s debatable his parents had any clue since the people article mentions he called his mother regularly so not sure that him chatting with her on the phone that day proves absolutely anything. The judgment here is disgusting.

Don't be naive. It was 6am. Of course she knew. It's understandable they didn't know what would happen, but they certainly knew it after it happened.

He apparently frequently called his mom as early as 4 am. I think it's odd behavior, but it doesn't sound like it was out of the ordinary for him at all.

+1, he was obviously a troubled guy who engaged in some strange or frustrating behavior, but it's wild some people seem to to think that if you had a son call you at 6am, your first thought would be "oh my kid you murdered someone." Of course it wouldn't be, even if you knew your son had problems.

The sister explains that the killer had troubles galore (including heroin addiction), but had never been violent.

I'm no criminal psychologist, but the nature of the murder doesn't strike me as the type that would come from someone openly violent in everyday life.

The sister is also not a criminal psychologist. She's not an FBI profiler. She's a mental health counselor. It didn't occur to her that her brother, who had never hurt anyone before, would murder four people in cold blood. In fact her first response upon hearing about the murders was to worry that her brother, who sometimes doesn't have it all that together, might be targeted by the person who murdered people near his home. That is the most normal and predictable response if your totally non-violent brother lived near the site of a violent murder.

There have been other murders where the family *did* suspect their family member pretty early on. In those cases, there is almost always a violent history with the family member. In most cases the family member will have threatened or even harmed someone else in the family before. There is often a criminal history of assault or DV.

But you are telling me that if a family member who had never done anything violent before, ever (and the fact that Brian had no history of violence is backed up not only by his family but by friends, classmates, teachers, school records, employers, etc.) lived near the scene of a violent murder and drove an extremely common car that had some features in common with the killer's car, you would assume the family member was the murderer?

I do not think you would.

This totally non violent brother was arrested for stealing her phone for drugs and had been in and out of rehab for a heroin addiction. He’s not your average brother. Also called his parents “Mother” and “Father”. Something was very off about him.

I am the PP. I have a brother with addiction issues. He has some unhealthy and weird habits and I am aware he has mental health issues. But he has never yelled at me, tried to physically harm me, or done either of those to anyone in our family or to anyone else that I know of.

I feel like you don't understand how many people have the exact problems this guy had and never hurt anyone. The world is full of troubled people and most of them never even commit assault much less a cold-blooded murder of four strangers. It would never occur to me that anyone I knew had done this specific crime.

Nobody is saying that people with this profile will hurt someone. But the fact that this guy, with all his baggage, acted so strangely around that time. Odd phone calls, needing to leave ASAP, hide the car, some people might get suspicious if you were being honest.

But your additional “proof” the family should have know or did know is y a tialj true, so wha now? I would wager there were many many aloof and weird brothers with a history of drug use in the 2 miles surrounding the terrible crimes. Do you think all the families of those men should have suspected their previously no violent offense brothers?

Not that drove white Elantras. And not who suddenly wanted to get their Elantra out of town right after the police announced they were looking for one.

And again, I still view violent history as a negative signal. This never looked like a set of murders from a person with an openly violent history.

Again, this did NOT happen. He told his family about his plan to drive home and pick up stuff MONTHS in advance. He planned to drive it back again! I genuinely do not understand why people think driving a car across the country is the best way to HIDE it. He LITERALLY got stopped by police en route!

Is that true? That would change my thoughts on this if it is. Where did you see the drive was planned for months?

Also, I think you're going down the wrong track regarding the risk. Under the circumstances, they didn't seem to know whose car they were looking for. Yes, if they have a plate number, driving it cross country would be a terrible idea. But that wasn't the risk. The risk was that police in the Moscow/Pullman area would see the white Elantra, run the plates, and add him to a list of people to dig into.

So, a white Elantra appearing in, say, South Dakota, doesn't mean anything. But a white Elantra in the Pullman/Moscow area would be significant.

NP, but yes, the part about the drive being planned in advance is true, or at least that's what was reported elsewhere. The cops already had a list of white Elantras registered to addresses in the area. The argument only makes sense if he didn't already live in the vicinity or the car was borrowed or a rental. The easiest way to "hide" the car would have been to leave it parked in a garage, but I just don't think "hiding" the car was ever an option.

Except he changed the car registration shortly after the murders and it was a suspicious parking attendant that brought it up to police that there was an Elantra but with Washington plates. So…maybe was trying to hide it that way. In plain sight.

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Anonymous wrote:Not understanding the hate for BK family. Even if he was a weirdo and possibly violent wtf were they supposed to do about it? You can’t jail a psychopath prior to the crime. And it’s debatable his parents had any clue since the people article mentions he called his mother regularly so not sure that him chatting with her on the phone that day proves absolutely anything. The judgment here is disgusting.

Don't be naive. It was 6am. Of course she knew. It's understandable they didn't know what would happen, but they certainly knew it after it happened.

He apparently frequently called his mom as early as 4 am. I think it's odd behavior, but it doesn't sound like it was out of the ordinary for him at all.

+1, he was obviously a troubled guy who engaged in some strange or frustrating behavior, but it's wild some people seem to to think that if you had a son call you at 6am, your first thought would be "oh my kid you murdered someone." Of course it wouldn't be, even if you knew your son had problems.

The sister explains that the killer had troubles galore (including heroin addiction), but had never been violent.

I'm no criminal psychologist, but the nature of the murder doesn't strike me as the type that would come from someone openly violent in everyday life.

The sister is also not a criminal psychologist. She's not an FBI profiler. She's a mental health counselor. It didn't occur to her that her brother, who had never hurt anyone before, would murder four people in cold blood. In fact her first response upon hearing about the murders was to worry that her brother, who sometimes doesn't have it all that together, might be targeted by the person who murdered people near his home. That is the most normal and predictable response if your totally non-violent brother lived near the site of a violent murder.

There have been other murders where the family *did* suspect their family member pretty early on. In those cases, there is almost always a violent history with the family member. In most cases the family member will have threatened or even harmed someone else in the family before. There is often a criminal history of assault or DV.

But you are telling me that if a family member who had never done anything violent before, ever (and the fact that Brian had no history of violence is backed up not only by his family but by friends, classmates, teachers, school records, employers, etc.) lived near the scene of a violent murder and drove an extremely common car that had some features in common with the killer's car, you would assume the family member was the murderer?

I do not think you would.

This totally non violent brother was arrested for stealing her phone for drugs and had been in and out of rehab for a heroin addiction. He’s not your average brother. Also called his parents “Mother” and “Father”. Something was very off about him.

I am the PP. I have a brother with addiction issues. He has some unhealthy and weird habits and I am aware he has mental health issues. But he has never yelled at me, tried to physically harm me, or done either of those to anyone in our family or to anyone else that I know of.

I feel like you don't understand how many people have the exact problems this guy had and never hurt anyone. The world is full of troubled people and most of them never even commit assault much less a cold-blooded murder of four strangers. It would never occur to me that anyone I knew had done this specific crime.

Nobody is saying that people with this profile will hurt someone. But the fact that this guy, with all his baggage, acted so strangely around that time. Odd phone calls, needing to leave ASAP, hide the car, some people might get suspicious if you were being honest.

But your additional “proof” the family should have know or did know is y a tialj true, so wha now? I would wager there were many many aloof and weird brothers with a history of drug use in the 2 miles surrounding the terrible crimes. Do you think all the families of those men should have suspected their previously no violent offense brothers?

Not that drove white Elantras. And not who suddenly wanted to get their Elantra out of town right after the police announced they were looking for one.

And again, I still view violent history as a negative signal. This never looked like a set of murders from a person with an openly violent history.

Again, this did NOT happen. He told his family about his plan to drive home and pick up stuff MONTHS in advance. He planned to drive it back again! I genuinely do not understand why people think driving a car across the country is the best way to HIDE it. He LITERALLY got stopped by police en route!

Is that true? That would change my thoughts on this if it is. Where did you see the drive was planned for months?

Also, I think you're going down the wrong track regarding the risk. Under the circumstances, they didn't seem to know whose car they were looking for. Yes, if they have a plate number, driving it cross country would be a terrible idea. But that wasn't the risk. The risk was that police in the Moscow/Pullman area would see the white Elantra, run the plates, and add him to a list of people to dig into.

So, a white Elantra appearing in, say, South Dakota, doesn't mean anything. But a white Elantra in the Pullman/Moscow area would be significant.

NP, but yes, the part about the drive being planned in advance is true, or at least that's what was reported elsewhere. The cops already had a list of white Elantras registered to addresses in the area. The argument only makes sense if he didn't already live in the vicinity or the car was borrowed or a rental. The easiest way to "hide" the car would have been to leave it parked in a garage, but I just don't think "hiding" the car was ever an option.

Except he changed the car registration shortly after the murders and it was a suspicious parking attendant that brought it up to police that there was an Elantra but with Washington plates. So…maybe was trying to hide it that way. In plain sight.

I mean why not just dump the car, seems easier.