Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Others are managing RTO without a village just like any other parents who work in person and don’t have a village. Having kids always has been a sacrifice for most people. You just had a reprieve for a few years.

A lot of child care centers decreased their hours and enrollment during the pandemic for safety reasons and haven’t been able to staff up to increase back to pre pandemic enrollment.

Parenthood has always been difficult, but I’ll put money on this delightful remark having come from someone ignorant to the fact that there is a dwindling supply of child care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much drama about family values and this country provides zero supports to working parents, as a society we are cruel, individualistic and mean. No wonder we have mentally fu*ked up kids blowing up other kids in schools. This talk of the greatest, wealthiest nation is just bs, wealth and benefits only for the billionaire class, the rest can spend their lives in servitude to the rich.

I don’t see where this is coming from. I grew up a “latch key” kid (remember when that was a thing) and my kids were in daycare while DH and I were in the office full time.

Is the implication that daycare is causing school shootings?

Maybe having parents around all the time is causing the anxiety and depression spikes in kids.

Please go into the general parenting forum and express that kids should be removed from their parents for more hours of the day in order to prevent anxiety and depression and school shootings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Others are managing RTO without a village just like any other parents who work in person and don’t have a village. Having kids always has been a sacrifice for most people. You just had a reprieve for a few years.

A lot of child care centers decreased their hours and enrollment during the pandemic for safety reasons and haven’t been able to staff up to increase back to pre pandemic enrollment.

Parenthood has always been difficult, but I’ll put money on this delightful remark having come from someone ignorant to the fact that there is a dwindling supply of child care.

It’s not a dwindling supply but increased cost. I’m actually sympathetic to the RTO side because it’s apparent even in my own work (private) that full time WFH does not work, but something needs to be done about the cost of childcare. I pay exactly double an hour for a nanny that I did pre-pandemic. Double! And I’m not DCUM wealthy. The people saying “suck it up” paid $16 for a nanny just 5 years and have no idea what parents are up against. And if you complain about what nannies cost (more than many nurses make) people accuse you of abusing your employees. Parents can’t win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ And I’m not saying only Feds do this. I know people in remote jobs in private industry too

The funny thing is that outside of the early stage of the pandemic, I only know one person IRL that kept a baby home while working (a contractor) and even she admitted it was only possible because her mom/MIL helped out for 2-3 days per week (and once they were 18mo the kid went to daycare). I definitely know quite a few parents who dropped or scaled back on before/aftercare, some of whom are scrambling becasue some days are full. But are there really that many parents still WFH and caring for babies/toddlers fulltime? How is that even functional....

I don't know anyone who has done it. It isn't functional.

I completely agree. I don't know a single work-from-home parent who can manage that. Everyone I know was traumatized after COVID, trying to balance work with having their children at home. It's simply not sustainable. However, this reality doesn't align with the narrative of those who oppose remote work. They want to believe that everyone working from home is somehow gaming the system, which reinforces their argument that no one is productive outside of the office. It's amusing because just because someone is physically present in the office doesn’t guarantee productivity either. We had one woman who spent most of her time online shopping and another guy who could talk about sports for hours. There are always a few bad apples, no matter where you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ And I’m not saying only Feds do this. I know people in remote jobs in private industry too

The funny thing is that outside of the early stage of the pandemic, I only know one person IRL that kept a baby home while working (a contractor) and even she admitted it was only possible because her mom/MIL helped out for 2-3 days per week (and once they were 18mo the kid went to daycare). I definitely know quite a few parents who dropped or scaled back on before/aftercare, some of whom are scrambling becasue some days are full. But are there really that many parents still WFH and caring for babies/toddlers fulltime? How is that even functional....

I don't know anyone who has done it. It isn't functional.

I completely agree. I don't know a single work-from-home parent who can manage that. Everyone I know was traumatized after COVID, trying to balance work with having their children at home. It's simply not sustainable. However, this reality doesn't align with the narrative of those who oppose remote work. They want to believe that everyone working from home is somehow gaming the system, which reinforces their argument that no one is productive outside of the office. It's amusing because just because someone is physically present in the office doesn’t guarantee productivity either. We had one woman who spent most of her time online shopping and another guy who could talk about sports for hours. There are always a few bad apples, no matter where you are.

Yeah you can stop the schtick. Aside from every normal person recognizing inefficiencies literally everywhere, there’s been lots of studies on this 5 years in and people are not as productive working from home. Save your gaslighting, you’re just wrong. Perhaps there’s another solution for working parents and productive work environments, but full time WFH isn’t it and demanding it is when the whole world can see with their own eyes is not helping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ And I’m not saying only Feds do this. I know people in remote jobs in private industry too

The funny thing is that outside of the early stage of the pandemic, I only know one person IRL that kept a baby home while working (a contractor) and even she admitted it was only possible because her mom/MIL helped out for 2-3 days per week (and once they were 18mo the kid went to daycare). I definitely know quite a few parents who dropped or scaled back on before/aftercare, some of whom are scrambling becasue some days are full. But are there really that many parents still WFH and caring for babies/toddlers fulltime? How is that even functional....

I don't know anyone who has done it. It isn't functional.

I completely agree. I don't know a single work-from-home parent who can manage that. Everyone I know was traumatized after COVID, trying to balance work with having their children at home. It's simply not sustainable. However, this reality doesn't align with the narrative of those who oppose remote work. They want to believe that everyone working from home is somehow gaming the system, which reinforces their argument that no one is productive outside of the office. It's amusing because just because someone is physically present in the office doesn’t guarantee productivity either. We had one woman who spent most of her time online shopping and another guy who could talk about sports for hours. There are always a few bad apples, no matter where you are.

Yeah you can stop the schtick. Aside from every normal person recognizing inefficiencies literally everywhere, there’s been lots of studies on this 5 years in and people are not as productive working from home. Save your gaslighting, you’re just wrong. Perhaps there’s another solution for working parents and productive work environments, but full time WFH isn’t it and demanding it is when the whole world can see with their own eyes is not helping.

This is exactly opposite of what studies have shown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ And I’m not saying only Feds do this. I know people in remote jobs in private industry too

The funny thing is that outside of the early stage of the pandemic, I only know one person IRL that kept a baby home while working (a contractor) and even she admitted it was only possible because her mom/MIL helped out for 2-3 days per week (and once they were 18mo the kid went to daycare). I definitely know quite a few parents who dropped or scaled back on before/aftercare, some of whom are scrambling becasue some days are full. But are there really that many parents still WFH and caring for babies/toddlers fulltime? How is that even functional....

I don't know anyone who has done it. It isn't functional.

I completely agree. I don't know a single work-from-home parent who can manage that. Everyone I know was traumatized after COVID, trying to balance work with having their children at home. It's simply not sustainable. However, this reality doesn't align with the narrative of those who oppose remote work. They want to believe that everyone working from home is somehow gaming the system, which reinforces their argument that no one is productive outside of the office. It's amusing because just because someone is physically present in the office doesn’t guarantee productivity either. We had one woman who spent most of her time online shopping and another guy who could talk about sports for hours. There are always a few bad apples, no matter where you are.

Yeah you can stop the schtick. Aside from every normal person recognizing inefficiencies literally everywhere, there’s been lots of studies on this 5 years in and people are not as productive working from home. Save your gaslighting, you’re just wrong. Perhaps there’s another solution for working parents and productive work environments, but full time WFH isn’t it and demanding it is when the whole world can see with their own eyes is not helping.

NP. You stop the schtick. I'll be the +5 or so who doesn't know a single person IRL who kept their children age 0-5 home with them while they WFH (which of course is 100% wrong). Everyone couldn't wait for those centers to re-open!!! I'm full-time WFH (not a Fed), and my youngest is in kindergarten this year. But she has been at a full-time daycare center the last three years (and a nanny before that). I became friendly, or at least well acquainted, with most of the families in her classes, and the vast majority of them had at least one parent who was WFH on any given day of the week. And yet there they all were like me with their kids enrolled at a full-time center, dropping them off between 8/8:30ish and picking up between 4:30/5:30ish -- I saw them everyday. (The in-person folks utilized the center's earlier and later hours.) And a lot of them signed their kindergartners up for aftercare. So that's my anecdata...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

What folks here are talking about is added commute time and inability to find extended care. 2 hours and 10 minutes for me per day thanks to RTO. Most aftercare programs are full or there is no before/aftercare and your only option is to find someone privately, which is nearly impossible between the hours of 5-7am or 3-6pm. My kids are on the bus by 06:30am and they get home at 3pm. That is 8 full hours plus 30 minute lunch. Now we split time. One parent stays behind and gets kids on the bus, while the other one gets up at 4am and out of the door by 04:45am to be home by the time the bus gets there at 3pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much drama about family values and this country provides zero supports to working parents, as a society we are cruel, individualistic and mean. No wonder we have mentally fu*ked up kids blowing up other kids in schools. This talk of the greatest, wealthiest nation is just bs, wealth and benefits only for the billionaire class, the rest can spend their lives in servitude to the rich.

I don’t see where this is coming from. I grew up a “latch key” kid (remember when that was a thing) and my kids were in daycare while DH and I were in the office full time.

Is the implication that daycare is causing school shootings?

Maybe having parents around all the time is causing the anxiety and depression spikes in kids.

Please go into the general parenting forum and express that kids should be removed from their parents for more hours of the day in order to prevent anxiety and depression and school shootings.

I’m not suggesting that should happen. I’m pointing out correlation does not equal causation. RTO will not increase school shootings. Before and after care will probably have no impact on anxiety/depression in kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ And I’m not saying only Feds do this. I know people in remote jobs in private industry too

The funny thing is that outside of the early stage of the pandemic, I only know one person IRL that kept a baby home while working (a contractor) and even she admitted it was only possible because her mom/MIL helped out for 2-3 days per week (and once they were 18mo the kid went to daycare). I definitely know quite a few parents who dropped or scaled back on before/aftercare, some of whom are scrambling becasue some days are full. But are there really that many parents still WFH and caring for babies/toddlers fulltime? How is that even functional....

I don't know anyone who has done it. It isn't functional.

I completely agree. I don't know a single work-from-home parent who can manage that. Everyone I know was traumatized after COVID, trying to balance work with having their children at home. It's simply not sustainable. However, this reality doesn't align with the narrative of those who oppose remote work. They want to believe that everyone working from home is somehow gaming the system, which reinforces their argument that no one is productive outside of the office. It's amusing because just because someone is physically present in the office doesn’t guarantee productivity either. We had one woman who spent most of her time online shopping and another guy who could talk about sports for hours. There are always a few bad apples, no matter where you are.

Yeah you can stop the schtick. Aside from every normal person recognizing inefficiencies literally everywhere, there’s been lots of studies on this 5 years in and people are not as productive working from home. Save your gaslighting, you’re just wrong. Perhaps there’s another solution for working parents and productive work environments, but full time WFH isn’t it and demanding it is when the whole world can see with their own eyes is not helping.

Where’s the data?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much drama about family values and this country provides zero supports to working parents, as a society we are cruel, individualistic and mean. No wonder we have mentally fu*ked up kids blowing up other kids in schools. This talk of the greatest, wealthiest nation is just bs, wealth and benefits only for the billionaire class, the rest can spend their lives in servitude to the rich.

I don’t see where this is coming from. I grew up a “latch key” kid (remember when that was a thing) and my kids were in daycare while DH and I were in the office full time.

Is the implication that daycare is causing school shootings?

Maybe having parents around all the time is causing the anxiety and depression spikes in kids.

Please go into the general parenting forum and express that kids should be removed from their parents for more hours of the day in order to prevent anxiety and depression and school shootings.

I’m not suggesting that should happen. I’m pointing out correlation does not equal causation. RTO will not increase school shootings. Before and after care will probably have no impact on anxiety/depression in kids.

I’m suggesting you should see the reaction from parents to suggesting that. Particularly if you identify yourself as a mother.

[Anonymous]

Before COVID time, my kids were used to 7am to 6pm schedules since age 2 at daycare center even though I normally do 8:30pm to 6pm. During the COVID time, they do similar schedules even though I work from home for 2 plus years. Times flies fast to now they are at elementary school now, they have beforecare/aftercare for 7am to 6:30pm. I normally do 8:30am to 6pm. They adjust well even though I work hybrid. They know that I work from home some days, but they also know that I can't take care of them or play with them while I work. It is fun to stay at school. Yes, I have paid a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand the problems that people are facing with childcare and the stress of it. I understand this because I, along with many of us, have been there, done that. My kids are teens. When they were little and I was at a law firm and DH was (and still is for now) a fed, there were zero telework options. We were both in the office full time, all the time.

This situation now may seem unique and insurmountable. It is neither of those things. It is hard, though. And you’ll make it work.

DP. Agree. It is hard. 12 hour days in daycare. It is the reason we only had one child. But parents of young kids today never expected to go back in time like this.

Maybe not to this extreme but they absolutely should have planned to have childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Covid was in 2020, why were so many still working from home in 2025?

Companies and the government were hiring remote workers and hybrid workers for years after 2020. Remote work and hybrid schedules were widely and intentionallyused as recruitment tools. How did you miss that?

In my agency, folks were hired as fully remote workers pre-COVID. All were told to come in if they lived less than 50 miles from the closest office location. This lady in the office complained to me that she had to come in for the first time in 8 years, her commute is only 11 minutes. I am like WTF!!!! I came into the office on a flex desk share schedule and I live more than 50 miles away from my office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand the problems that people are facing with childcare and the stress of it. I understand this because I, along with many of us, have been there, done that. My kids are teens. When they were little and I was at a law firm and DH was (and still is for now) a fed, there were zero telework options. We were both in the office full time, all the time.

This situation now may seem unique and insurmountable. It is neither of those things. It is hard, though. And you’ll make it work.

DP. Agree. It is hard. 12 hour days in daycare. It is the reason we only had one child. But parents of young kids today never expected to go back in time like this.

It is also expensive. We’re still spending $40k per year on childcare and summer camps for our elementary aged kids. We also made sure to pick camps with extended day options knowing RTO was a possibility. Those of you that got away with WFH without paying for childcare post pandemic hopefully saved plenty of money that now will need to be spent on childcare. I still recall years ago a colleague who “couldn’t move her telework days” because of lack of childcare for her son. I was pissed that our managers didn’t push back. Join the rest of us. Sorry if you moved to an area or bought a house that made this challenging (like my colleagues that took the fork because they moved to a different state even though remote work had to be renewed annually) or you didn’t budget for it.

Yeah, I don't think a lot of people do this, but it has been happening. It's the entire premise of OP's post.