Top regrets in life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abortion.

+1. I didn't really realize what I'd done until years later. I was pressured into it by a female mentor/boss I thought was my friend. Still makes me sick to my stomach that I confided in her instead of my own mother.

Unbelievably evil and wicked.

Or it may have saved her and a child from a lifetime of misery.

DP here. I think the evil and wicked part is the pressuring from the mentor/boss. I'm rabidly prochoice, but it has to be the woman's choice.

I strongly suspect there's some revisionist history going on there. The "pressuring" may have simply been explaining the consequences and potential impacts, which are obviously significant with children.

On what planet is it okay for a superior at work to encourage a junior staffer to abort a pregnancy? That is way, way out of bounds. Seek help if you think that's acceptable in any way. As a prior poster said, it's straight up evil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is yours?

Pretty much nothing. I am not sue how you can live your life with pretty much any regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I deeply regret opening the bag of Halloween candy.

LOL
Made my day.

[Anonymous]

This is an amazing thread. Thinking made me feel grateful that there were many things I didn't regret and also that made my life easier, which is humbling - my life has been easier for mostly reasons that are just luck.

My biggest regret is not identifying and working on approaches to ADHD and impulsive behavior. I was an excellent student so thrived without needing any organizational skills or personal responsibility. Then it took a long period as an adult to work on - and there are a number of *basic* things I wish I had learned how to do earlier that have been really painful lessons. It is hard to describe how basic these things are -- how to keep a to do list, how to remember peoples' addresses, how to do a project not all the day/night before. And how not to take the same approach to personal care, relationships and my house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abortion.

+1. I didn't really realize what I'd done until years later. I was pressured into it by a female mentor/boss I thought was my friend. Still makes me sick to my stomach that I confided in her instead of my own mother.

Unbelievably evil and wicked.

Or it may have saved her and a child from a lifetime of misery.

DP here. I think the evil and wicked part is the pressuring from the mentor/boss. I'm rabidly prochoice, but it has to be the woman's choice.

I strongly suspect there's some revisionist history going on there. The "pressuring" may have simply been explaining the consequences and potential impacts, which are obviously significant with children.

On what planet is it okay for a superior at work to encourage a junior staffer to abort a pregnancy? That is way, way out of bounds. Seek help if you think that's acceptable in any way. As a prior poster said, it's straight up evil.

It is coercion. And demonic at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is an amazing thread. Thinking made me feel grateful that there were many things I didn't regret and also that made my life easier, which is humbling - my life has been easier for mostly reasons that are just luck.

My biggest regret is not identifying and working on approaches to ADHD and impulsive behavior. I was an excellent student so thrived without needing any organizational skills or personal responsibility. Then it took a long period as an adult to work on - and there are a number of *basic* things I wish I had learned how to do earlier that have been really painful lessons. It is hard to describe how basic these things are -- how to keep a to do list, how to remember peoples' addresses, how to do a project not all the day/night before. And how not to take the same approach to personal care, relationships and my house.

This really resonates with me. I have ADHD and had to teach myself a lot of this stuff as well. My husband has ADHD too, but doesn't try to manage it.

Now we have three kids with ADHD. I'm trying soooo hard to teach them these basic life skills, along with helping them catch up academically and socially. It's hard because my husband is not cooperative or supportive. So now I'm an ADHD mom trying to raise my ADHD kids and I'm drowning and feel so alone.

It's easy to see how ADHD parents (who have a harder time at basic life skills) drop the ball when raising their ADHD kids (who need more help than other kids). I'm going to tell my kids to get some non-ADHD genes in the pool when they're ready to date.

[Anonymous]

I had something that turned out to be worth billions or tens of billions in my grasp and failed to close.

[Anonymous]

Should have kept my maiden name.

[Anonymous]

I regret not turning left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should have kept my maiden name.

Glad someone said this.
I hope a lot of women regret it.

[Anonymous]

I should have gone into a high paying career instead of teaching. My peers who did so have a level of comfort and stability I can’t reach. I’m very hard working, dedicated, and creative. I should be making way more money and got caught up in doing a career that would “make a difference.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t regret having kids but could have waited longer to have them so I could travel more and enjoy the independence that comes without childcare.

I’m the opposite. We waited too long (33) and endured IVF for years before finally having a child who turned out to have special needs. I wonder if I’d tried at 30 if I’d have been able to have more than one and perhaps a typically developing child.

[Anonymous]

Working in childcare, I was not cut out for it or properly trained for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I should have gone into a high paying career instead of teaching. My peers who did so have a level of comfort and stability I can’t reach. I’m very hard working, dedicated, and creative. I should be making way more money and got caught up in doing a career that would “make a difference.”

You can do it. I retired 5 years after I had started investing. Had my work offered a retirement account like 401k or 403b, I'd still be working.
The upward spiral is real and unbelievably strong. When they say that it costs more to be poor, then in contrast everything is cheap or free for the well to do folks. For example my car loan is 0% which seems so hard for others right now.
My yearly income was over $40k only once in 27 years, so it's not the income as people would like to believe. Income helps, but not more important than experience, knowledge, and strong mental health.

[Anonymous]

Rationalizing and excusing ex-bf's verbal abuse, stayed together way too long.

Happy now I'm able to model a healthy, loving relationship for my kids.