Top regrets in life

[Anonymous]

Not buying bitcoin once upon a time

[Anonymous]

Not saving more earlier. Not taking my life or career or relationships seriously until I was able to unpack/heal from serious childhood abuse. Both of these probably could have been avoided if I hadn’t been abused, so I can’t say I have regrets, but some resentment over having to overcome so much just to reach a pretty basic baseline of operations in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I left a very special job in my 20s because a coworker (who ended up having a mental breakdown and leaving abruptly) told me I was horrible at it and should quit. I lasted a year after that but lost all confidence. Now as an older woman I look back on it and it sort of ruined my life. I was not bad at that job, and I should have stayed.

Huh I had a similar experience -- unique job that satisfied me in a specific way but got bullied at work and wound up leaving. One of the women who bullied me also had some kind of breakdown and left but the other one stayed and now literally runs the organization.

I still have resentment towards those women who I think felt threatened by me and banded together to make it so unpleasant to be there that I'd leave. But since one of them went on to great success at the org I can see that I would never have been free of her combativeness and dislike. It's frustrating because that job can't be duplicated elsewhere but on the other hand leaving liberated me from these people who wanted to make me miserable.

If I have a regret it is in not leaving sooner and holding on (because I did love that job) thus spending more of my life dealing with their abuse. What I learned is that no job is ever worth your misery. My current job is not nearly as personally rewarding (and I'm not as good at it) but people are kind to me and want me to succeed. It's better even though it's not my dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing, actually!

I regret your full of it post.
I'm joking, just very jealous of you and felt like that in my younger blissful years of 20s/30s. Maybe one day I'll feel like that again. Life is cyclical

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left a very special job in my 20s because a coworker (who ended up having a mental breakdown and leaving abruptly) told me I was horrible at it and should quit. I lasted a year after that but lost all confidence. Now as an older woman I look back on it and it sort of ruined my life. I was not bad at that job, and I should have stayed.

Huh I had a similar experience -- unique job that satisfied me in a specific way but got bullied at work and wound up leaving. One of the women who bullied me also had some kind of breakdown and left but the other one stayed and now literally runs the organization.

I still have resentment towards those women who I think felt threatened by me and banded together to make it so unpleasant to be there that I'd leave. But since one of them went on to great success at the org I can see that I would never have been free of her combativeness and dislike. It's frustrating because that job can't be duplicated elsewhere but on the other hand leaving liberated me from these people who wanted to make me miserable.

If I have a regret it is in not leaving sooner and holding on (because I did love that job) thus spending more of my life dealing with their abuse. What I learned is that no job is ever worth your misery. My current job is not nearly as personally rewarding (and I'm not as good at it) but people are kind to me and want me to succeed. It's better even though it's not my dream.

I think that was part of it for me: The entire place became miserable for me because that experience tainted everything. My dh whom I was dating at the time, and some former coworkers who also left and I am still in touch with don't share the regret at all. They all say it wasn't a good place, laugh about how bad it was actually, how toxic... Now though as a more mature person I realize no place is ever fully good. This was good in enough ways, and really special enough in some ways, that I should have stayed.

[Anonymous]

Not having a third child. My DH said he wasn't ready and wouldn't be ready and I was already 38, and we had a frozen embryo so we decided to dispose of it. Our marriage wasn't in a good place. Hardest decisions I have ever made and almost immediately regretted it.

He told me a few years ago he wishes I would have pushed back and that he now wishes we had tried for the third. I was so mad.

[Anonymous]

Law school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not having a third child. My DH said he wasn't ready and wouldn't be ready and I was already 38, and we had a frozen embryo so we decided to dispose of it. Our marriage wasn't in a good place. Hardest decisions I have ever made and almost immediately regretted it.

He told me a few years ago he wishes I would have pushed back and that he now wishes we had tried for the third. I was so mad.

I would have spontaneously combusted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being way more social than I was comfortable with. If I could redo things, I'd keep to myself more, focus only on my family...

Opposite. I should've been more social. I had some traumatic things happen to me in my teen years (lots of social bullying), and it made me become a hermit. I also dated very little. Very low self esteem.

Me too. I'm friendly on a superficial level only.

[Anonymous]

Wow, there’s a lot of law school regret. But is it regret over attending law school, or not attending?

[Anonymous]

I stayed home the summer before college because I never would have met my first husband, and that entire horrible chapter of my life and the lasting consequences could have been avoided.

[Anonymous]

Not distancing myself from my abusive family of origin sooner. I could have begun healing earlier and made much better life choices for myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not having a third child. My DH said he wasn't ready and wouldn't be ready and I was already 38, and we had a frozen embryo so we decided to dispose of it. Our marriage wasn't in a good place. Hardest decisions I have ever made and almost immediately regretted it.

He told me a few years ago he wishes I would have pushed back and that he now wishes we had tried for the third. I was so mad.

I would have spontaneously combusted

we went to counseling over it but I don't think I will ever get over it. I usually am able to move on from decisions, but this one I think will last forever.

[Anonymous]

Not doing anything that would provide consequences to my abusive stepfather.

[Anonymous]

Slipping back into fantasy life and neglecting to do my Step work and gaining weight back. 17 pounds since 2017. Don't relapse.