Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say this with no judgement. Do you think her decision was spur of the moment. And if not, given the support she had in place, what kept her from telling someone that she had the urge to hurt her children or was having visions or whatever,

No one knows this yet.

[Anonymous]

Lindsay Clancy chose to have three children, that is one major difference between her and Andrea Yates. Andrea Yates was in a dysfunctional, abusive relationship, as far as we know Pat Clancy was not an abusive husband. I have trouble feeling empathy towards Lindsay Clancy especially if she had PPD with her previous pregnancies. If she had issues with the first two, why risk it a third time? At the very least, this is poor decision making. I strongly feel she was a victim of our appearance obsessed society. She didn’t need three babies, who really does honestly? Especially, especially, if she suffered from PPD with the first or second. It makes zero sense. They were the super couple, super parents, like most of us on social media like to portray. It’s dangerous, we aren’t really present in our lives and making rational, thought out decisions. I believe both parents, Lindsay and Patrick were delusional. Not solely due to PPD but due to our filtered, sugar coated image obsessed society. They don’t know any different. She was living a lie so to speak and when reality hit her she snapped.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Of course his comments are 'off'.

He just had his family and life obliterated in the most traumatic 30 minutes of his life in an incomprehensible way by the woman he loved. Nothing makes sense and it must seem so unreal that this happened. He just had left sitting by his dying baby's bedside for 3 days. On top of that he has the world watching and talking about them all and likely a thousand other things to deal with.

None of it makes sense. I am sure his emotions and thoughts are a washing machine and a blur right now. It is amazing he was even able to sit and write a well articulated article to tell the world about this family and to ask them not to add more pain and hate to his plate right now.

What is an 'on' comment given the situation?

Well I think it’s off that he commented publicly at all. That’s all fine for a eulogy I guess, but weird to share with the world. And like you said he had just come from watching his last child die. That was the the first thing he wanted to do? Write a public statement?

I know people who know them. First: Please don't judge. Who's to say what's "weird" in this situation? There's not a handbook. The reason he "shared with the world," I surmise (he actually shared with a GoFundMe page), is because the media attention has been enormous but, more to the point, because he's received a massive outpouring of support on GoFundMe, and he acknowledged it. Perhaps writing what he did was therapeutic.

Again, I'm unclear as to why anyone feels equipped or entitled to judge his response.

I’m so tired of people being judgmental about people who judge. You judging me is no different than me judging him. We are all entitled to our opinion. You “knowing someone who knows him” doesn’t give you any more right to comment than anyone else.

The thing that's tiresome about judgers like you is that all of your judgment is predicated on the belief that you would NEVER do any of the things that Lindsay Clancy and Andrea Yates did and that you know exactly how you would react if your spouse did them. It's certainly possible that Lindsay Clancy is the depraved methodical killer that PPs are describing. But it's also possible that she was very sick at the time of the killings and was in no way psychologically able to understand her actions. That actually COULD happen to any of you postpartum, and postpartum care in this country is bad enough that no one would know how sick you were until it was too late.

If I murder my 3 children (one of which I can't actually conceive) I fully expect to be in jail for the rest of my life. My children didn't deserve that and insanity or not, I've given up my right to freedom. I destroyed at least 4 if not 5 lives.

+1 you would expect a life sentence because she could do it again to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lindsay Clancy chose to have three children, that is one major difference between her and Andrea Yates. Andrea Yates was in a dysfunctional, abusive relationship, as far as we know Pat Clancy was not an abusive husband. I have trouble feeling empathy towards Lindsay Clancy especially if she had PPD with her previous pregnancies. If she had issues with the first two, why risk it a third time? At the very least, this is poor decision making. I strongly feel she was a victim of our appearance obsessed society. She didn’t need three babies, who really does honestly? Especially, especially, if she suffered from PPD with the first or second. It makes zero sense. They were the super couple, super parents, like most of us on social media like to portray. It’s dangerous, we aren’t really present in our lives and making rational, thought out decisions. I believe both parents, Lindsay and Patrick were delusional. Not solely due to PPD but due to our filtered, sugar coated image obsessed society. They don’t know any different. She was living a lie so to speak and when reality hit her she snapped.

This right here.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Having PPA/PPD and intrusive thoughts was the scariest, most mind-bending experience of my life. It is unfortunately not hard to imagine someone with a more severe form being moved to uncontrollable extremes. I feel nothing but horrible sadness for all involved.

So then why did he leave the kids with her? She was on leave from work and in 5 days/week outpatient care. Did that not feel that serious to him?

He went to pick up takeout. He presumably had no idea anything would happen while he stepped out.

Why would he “presumably have no idea” when he was told by her doctor to NEVER leave her alone with the children. And for freaking takeout?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Having PPA/PPD and intrusive thoughts was the scariest, most mind-bending experience of my life. It is unfortunately not hard to imagine someone with a more severe form being moved to uncontrollable extremes. I feel nothing but horrible sadness for all involved.

So then why did he leave the kids with her? She was on leave from work and in 5 days/week outpatient care. Did that not feel that serious to him?

He went to pick up takeout. He presumably had no idea anything would happen while he stepped out.

Has he not heard of food DELIVERY?

Hmmm maybe getting that take out saved his life. Either way what a tragedy.

And his kids are dead. I very much doubt he’s glad it “saved his life.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It’s a horrible tragedy but this guy does not need $600k. That’s not going to bring back his children. I hope he donates this money to mental health organizations or other charities in his kids names.


I find it so interesting what GoFundMes people donate to. What is money going to help with here, really?

Come on - this is pretty obvious. Off the top of my head, he will have funeral expenses, legal bills (these might be huge), therapy costs for himself (probably forever), he will be out of work for a lengthy amount of time (maybe a year?), etc.

What? A year? Why? If he worked at Walmart or another low-paying job, he’d have to go back to work in a month or less.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The reaction shouldn't be blaming. It should be, how horrific.

👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽 This sentiment shall only be used for affluent white women.

Black women get PPD too, you know.

And nobody cares. Especially if they’re poor.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote: To those that are judging her horrible actions, we need to remember that she was out of her mind. This is not the act of a well or rational person. It's so sad and so tragic.

She killed 2 people seriously harmed another who ended up dying and herself in a relatively short period of time.

That's not a small act. Specifically the method she used to kill the kids. Toddlers are strong as heck they would have been fighting. Strangulation is a horrific way to go.

As a medical professional she would know this

She may have a mental illness but I'm not willing to mitigate what she did based on that alone

But since you are neither God nor a prosecutor, it absolutely does not matter what you will "mitigate."

And your opinion of PP’s opinion is equally irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.

3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.

In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.

Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.

How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.

It’s an incredibly tough time to raise a family. There are so many factors to now consider that past generations never had to face. No one is really prepared to become a parent but like all jobs, certain qualities should be required. Not everyone is meant to be, nor should become, a parent, and we need to be able to recognize and accept this.

Choose to have kids or don’t (EVERYONE should have that choice), but the bolded is bullcrap. Your ancestors faced war, famine, discrimination, poverty, tiny living spaces, no air conditioning, pandemics, pollution, lack of proper sanitation, fires AND raised boatloads of kids, doing so with little formal education at a young age. We are far more prosperous today, and the most fortunate among us are choosing to have small families than ever before, in much larger homes than 100 years ago. Which is fine!

DP. I think you are misinterpreting your positive factors. Because life is so easy, we are unable to cope with the lack of real adversity. I do think it's a very difficult time to have a family now. But you won't admit that.

Genuinely asking, why?

Oh, boo-hoo, Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. It’s soooo harrrrrd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having PPA/PPD and intrusive thoughts was the scariest, most mind-bending experience of my life. It is unfortunately not hard to imagine someone with a more severe form being moved to uncontrollable extremes. I feel nothing but horrible sadness for all involved.

So then why did he leave the kids with her? She was on leave from work and in 5 days/week outpatient care. Did that not feel that serious to him?

He went to pick up takeout. He presumably had no idea anything would happen while he stepped out.

Why would he “presumably have no idea” when he was told by her doctor to NEVER leave her alone with the children. And for freaking takeout?

It was Rusty Yates who was told to never leave Andrea alone with the children, when she had already experienced episodes of psychosis and been hospitalized for it and been advised not to have any more children.

There is no evidence that the Clancys were ever issued any such warnings by medical professionals.

[Anonymous]

I have to say that whilst I almost never wish ill on others, there are some posters commenting in this thread who are so absent compassion that I almost wish they would wake up in a few years to a teenager with a diagnosis of schizophrenia so they could spend the next several decades learning what psychotic disorder can do to the brain of a person they love. Or would they still love them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And to those that call her a MONSTER? YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING! We as a society need to ask for her forgiveness for being so misinformed and useless to her mental health issues she suffered from. Her pig of a husband didn't care! The only MONSTER THERE IS THE RELENTLESS ILLNESS THAT HAS NO PREJUDICE ON WHO IT CONSUMES! GET INFORMED! THERE CANT BE THAT MANY DERELICTS OF HUMANITY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.

3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.

In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.

Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.

How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.

It’s an incredibly tough time to raise a family. There are so many factors to now consider that past generations never had to face. No one is really prepared to become a parent but like all jobs, certain qualities should be required. Not everyone is meant to be, nor should become, a parent, and we need to be able to recognize and accept this.

I also think young adults today are lacking in friendship making skills. My sister and her husband complain of loneliness/no friends, but they drive their kids to school even though they have a bus, they don’t go on walks and take their kids and dog strictly into their backyard, they don’t have any hobbies or ever leave their house unless they have to. Then they say people aren’t friendly. But they want NO advice on changing this and get really defensive.

Also, when I think of how maxed out we were with two young kids, I literally could not imagine having a third in quick succession. I truly cannot believe how many parents do this without a gap/break.

This is so true.

This needs to be discussed more.

Remote work is just going to breed more isolation.

Oh my actual God. “Remote work” has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with this. Stop depending on your job for friends. Be an adult. Use your brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who are jealous about the money, it doesn't matter.

The question is if she should get the death penalty

Massachusetts does not have the death penalty

Unfortunately, in this case.