Travel Soccer teams around NOVA let's discuss

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoken like a coach who believes he knows everything, including what's best for my child.

Sorry, but as a soccer coach, on the soccer field, I do know what's best for your child.
And if you don't believe that, please get your kid off my team.

You are a little full of yourself.

Sorry, should have noted I was a different coach than the other person posting.
But yes, it's fine if you think that.
I know more about soccer than you do. I've trained for years in how to coach kids. I've spent hours with your kids in practice, going over game plans, letting them know exactly what's expected of them, objectively noting their skills and deficiencies.
And it all gets screwed up when parents start yelling tactical advice during a game and the kids instinctively listen.
Yes, you're paying to have them play...but your doing a disservice to your child if you think that money gives you the right to help coach the team.

pp wishing for closed doors - thanks - this was much more constructive to post and I fully agree.

As far as coaching goes and knowing what is best for my child, etc. etc. I'm a dad who currently pays a lot of money for my kids soccer activities. I also have several coaching licenses, coached travel soccer, and worked with trainers. I'm not very experienced but I have some. Just some comments...you may be a fantastic soccer player, coach, trainer, educator, role model for our kids. If so, you would be one of the very few. Most of the travel coaches out there played at the college level and have a D license....these things mean nothing as to your ability to coach, educate, develop, and be a role model for kids. Playing soccer even professionally means NOTHING! Having an "D" license means that you can set up cones efficiently and create a progressive training session, etc. It means nothing towards your ability to connect with the kids and teach them. None of these things tell me you can develop my kid or lets me know that you know what is best for my kid. Most coaches put out BS coaching philosophies, don't follow a proven curriculum, chase wins, etc. As frustrating as it is for coaches to sit there and listen to parents, it's also frustrating for parents to sit there and watch full of S coaches. Like I said, you may be a great one, but you are in a field that consists of so so many crap coaches/trainers, you will always be 2nd guessed by parents who are looking for that quality coach.

PP you are quoting - that is a fair point and I can respect that. As I mentioned above - I readily admit my weaknesses in connecting with certain types of kids and my ability to get through to them.

But as a parent, you do have the recourse that if you aren't happy, pull the kid and find a structure that works. I fully agree you shouldn't put up with crap trainers. That's why you vet the club and see what the ethos and philosophy of the club is as a proper club should only let trainers who adhere to their values and philosophy represent their club. But don't yell from the sidelines - that doesn't help anyone.

On the curriculum piece - things have gotten a LOT better compared to 10 years ago. There's a reason why the median technical skill of the US youth player in programs across the country have gotten markedly better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spoken like a coach who believes he knows everything, including what's best for my child.

Sorry, but as a soccer coach, on the soccer field, I do know what's best for your child.
And if you don't believe that, please get your kid off my team.

You are a little full of yourself.

Sorry, should have noted I was a different coach than the other person posting.
But yes, it's fine if you think that.
I know more about soccer than you do. I've trained for years in how to coach kids. I've spent hours with your kids in practice, going over game plans, letting them know exactly what's expected of them, objectively noting their skills and deficiencies.
And it all gets screwed up when parents start yelling tactical advice during a game and the kids instinctively listen.
Yes, you're paying to have them play...but your doing a disservice to your child if you think that money gives you the right to help coach the team.

pp wishing for closed doors - thanks - this was much more constructive to post and I fully agree.

As far as coaching goes and knowing what is best for my child, etc. etc. I'm a dad who currently pays a lot of money for my kids soccer activities. I also have several coaching licenses, coached travel soccer, and worked with trainers. I'm not very experienced but I have some. Just some comments...you may be a fantastic soccer player, coach, trainer, educator, role model for our kids. If so, you would be one of the very few. Most of the travel coaches out there played at the college level and have a D license....these things mean nothing as to your ability to coach, educate, develop, and be a role model for kids. Playing soccer even professionally means NOTHING! Having an "D" license means that you can set up cones efficiently and create a progressive training session, etc. It means nothing towards your ability to connect with the kids and teach them. None of these things tell me you can develop my kid or lets me know that you know what is best for my kid. Most coaches put out BS coaching philosophies, don't follow a proven curriculum, chase wins, etc. As frustrating as it is for coaches to sit there and listen to parents, it's also frustrating for parents to sit there and watch full of S coaches. Like I said, you may be a great one, but you are in a field that consists of so so many crap coaches/trainers, you will always be 2nd guessed by parents who are looking for that quality coach.

PP you are quoting - that is a fair point and I can respect that. As I mentioned above - I readily admit my weaknesses in connecting with certain types of kids and my ability to get through to them.

But as a parent, you do have the recourse that if you aren't happy, pull the kid and find a structure that works. I fully agree you shouldn't put up with crap trainers. That's why you vet the club and see what the ethos and philosophy of the club is as a proper club should only let trainers who adhere to their values and philosophy represent their club. But don't yell from the sidelines - that doesn't help anyone.

On the curriculum piece - things have gotten a LOT better compared to 10 years ago. There's a reason why the median technical skill of the US youth player in programs across the country have gotten markedly better.

If you can't connect with certain types of players what makes you think that you are a good enough coach to wish to ban parents from the sidelines. This is a recreational activity and considering the number of hours kids put in, I am damn well going to watch my kids play when I can.

You are likely the first coach to bitch when lightning strikes and parents aren't there immediately to pick their kids up too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just muzzle the parents. They can watch, sure. Just shut up.

Put more eloquently here ...

http://changingthegameproject.com/open-letter-dad-wont-stop-yelling/

I feel like I've read approximately a thousand articles like this one the last few years. The sentiments are very worthy, no doubt about it. And I certainly support efforts to keep parents from hurling abuse at kids, refs and coaches. But I can't get behind this bit at all: "The best thing you can do after a game is tell me you are proud of me for competing, and showing good sportsmanship, and that you love to watch me play."

You really, truly don't need to tell your child that you love watching them play after every game. Parents have managed to watch their children play sports and maintain good relationships with them throughout our country's sports history without following a saccharine post-game script.

I also think these articles completely overstate how likely most kids are to listen to their parents or other parents instead of their coaches. Our kids have been on and played against teams with active, sometimes obnoxious sideline coaching for years and years, and we have seen no difference in how well the kids succeeded at their sport. I'm sure there are some sensitive kids out there or truly abusive parents who can't be ignored, but I don't think that's the majority. I certainly prefer it if parents keep quiet and I'm sure kids and coaches do too, but I don't see it as the catastrophe it's made out to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just muzzle the parents. They can watch, sure. Just shut up.

Put more eloquently here ...

http://changingthegameproject.com/open-letter-dad-wont-stop-yelling/

I feel like I've read approximately a thousand articles like this one the last few years. The sentiments are very worthy, no doubt about it. And I certainly support efforts to keep parents from hurling abuse at kids, refs and coaches. But I can't get behind this bit at all: "The best thing you can do after a game is tell me you are proud of me for competing, and showing good sportsmanship, and that you love to watch me play."

You really, truly don't need to tell your child that you love watching them play after every game. Parents have managed to watch their children play sports and maintain good relationships with them throughout our country's sports history without following a saccharine post-game script.

I also think these articles completely overstate how likely most kids are to listen to their parents or other parents instead of their coaches. Our kids have been on and played against teams with active, sometimes obnoxious sideline coaching for years and years, and we have seen no difference in how well the kids succeeded at their sport. I'm sure there are some sensitive kids out there or truly abusive parents who can't be ignored, but I don't think that's the majority. I certainly prefer it if parents keep quiet and I'm sure kids and coaches do too, but I don't see it as the catastrophe it's made out to be.

^^^^This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just muzzle the parents. They can watch, sure. Just shut up.

Put more eloquently here ...

http://changingthegameproject.com/open-letter-dad-wont-stop-yelling/

I feel like I've read approximately a thousand articles like this one the last few years. The sentiments are very worthy, no doubt about it. And I certainly support efforts to keep parents from hurling abuse at kids, refs and coaches. But I can't get behind this bit at all: "The best thing you can do after a game is tell me you are proud of me for competing, and showing good sportsmanship, and that you love to watch me play."

You really, truly don't need to tell your child that you love watching them play after every game. Parents have managed to watch their children play sports and maintain good relationships with them throughout our country's sports history without following a saccharine post-game script.

I also think these articles completely overstate how likely most kids are to listen to their parents or other parents instead of their coaches. Our kids have been on and played against teams with active, sometimes obnoxious sideline coaching for years and years, and we have seen no difference in how well the kids succeeded at their sport. I'm sure there are some sensitive kids out there or truly abusive parents who can't be ignored, but I don't think that's the majority. I certainly prefer it if parents keep quiet and I'm sure kids and coaches do too, but I don't see it as the catastrophe it's made out to be.

^^^^This

I agree. I am always rolling my eyes back in my head when I hear every.single.parent say that exact same coined phrase walking to the car. Yes, we've all read these type of articles and it is a big plus from my days of playing in the 80s when I was told: "if you are going to practice like that, go sit in the car" and such. But--get a little more creative with the phrasing. Branch out from that stupid phrase. Also, as kids get older, they know when they played like crap. To sugarcoat and tell them it was great to watch them play is BS. It's insulting. JUST DON'T say anything!! Talk about anything but the game. Let them have time to digest and forget about it if they need to.

As far as coaching, find a good one and then sit back and relax. It's trial and error. You may have to spend a year biting your tongue on the sidelines and huffing quietly when you get it wrong, but when you find your place/club/coach it's a world of difference. It also doesn't have to be so g-damn serious all the time even at the elite level. I love the coaches that make light of things and can poke fun. Keep it fun while learning.

I played very competitively, but hell if my sons are going to listen to their mom's advice. I learned that early. I aimed to find them the best trainers and coaches so they have that relationship with someone other than a family member. I've seen them listen intently and perform the same thing I suggested they do and they rolled their eyes and wouldn't listen--- after the Coach told them just once. I quickly learned my influence was nil. It's good for them to look up to their Coaches as mentors. As they age, it's okay for a Coach to be tough on them. A player at 8 is very different from even a player at 12. Expectations for behavior and practice and demands change as the player grows.

If you do your research properly, you can sit back and relax and just watch the game. I am confident that I placed them in good hands with very knowledgeable coaches/trainers that love the game and care about them as players. When I didn't have that feeling and confidence, it was easy to want to second guess and really incredibly frustrating to watch.

I don't interfere and I sure as hell never coach from the sidelines. I get really, REALLY frustrated when the dads start shouting directions to every kid on the field (even a kid that isn't their own!!). I've almost butted heads more than once to tell them to shut the f*ck up. Why is it that the ones that know the least always tend to be the most vocal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just muzzle the parents. They can watch, sure. Just shut up.

Put more eloquently here ...

http://changingthegameproject.com/open-letter-dad-wont-stop-yelling/

I feel like I've read approximately a thousand articles like this one the last few years. The sentiments are very worthy, no doubt about it. And I certainly support efforts to keep parents from hurling abuse at kids, refs and coaches. But I can't get behind this bit at all: "The best thing you can do after a game is tell me you are proud of me for competing, and showing good sportsmanship, and that you love to watch me play."

You really, truly don't need to tell your child that you love watching them play after every game. Parents have managed to watch their children play sports and maintain good relationships with them throughout our country's sports history without following a saccharine post-game script.

I also think these articles completely overstate how likely most kids are to listen to their parents or other parents instead of their coaches. Our kids have been on and played against teams with active, sometimes obnoxious sideline coaching for years and years, and we have seen no difference in how well the kids succeeded at their sport. I'm sure there are some sensitive kids out there or truly abusive parents who can't be ignored, but I don't think that's the majority. I certainly prefer it if parents keep quiet and I'm sure kids and coaches do too, but I don't see it as the catastrophe it's made out to be.

^^^^This

I agree. I am always rolling my eyes back in my head when I hear every.single.parent say that exact same coined phrase walking to the car. Yes, we've all read these type of articles and it is a big plus from my days of playing in the 80s when I was told: "if you are going to practice like that, go sit in the car" and such. But--get a little more creative with the phrasing. Branch out from that stupid phrase. Also, as kids get older, they know when they played like crap. To sugarcoat and tell them it was great to watch them play is BS. It's insulting. JUST DON'T say anything!! Talk about anything but the game. Let them have time to digest and forget about it if they need to.

As far as coaching, find a good one and then sit back and relax. It's trial and error. You may have to spend a year biting your tongue on the sidelines and huffing quietly when you get it wrong, but when you find your place/club/coach it's a world of difference. It also doesn't have to be so g-damn serious all the time even at the elite level. I love the coaches that make light of things and can poke fun. Keep it fun while learning.

I played very competitively, but hell if my sons are going to listen to their mom's advice. I learned that early. I aimed to find them the best trainers and coaches so they have that relationship with someone other than a family member. I've seen them listen intently and perform the same thing I suggested they do and they rolled their eyes and wouldn't listen--- after the Coach told them just once. I quickly learned my influence was nil. It's good for them to look up to their Coaches as mentors. As they age, it's okay for a Coach to be tough on them. A player at 8 is very different from even a player at 12. Expectations for behavior and practice and demands change as the player grows.

If you do your research properly, you can sit back and relax and just watch the game. I am confident that I placed them in good hands with very knowledgeable coaches/trainers that love the game and care about them as players. When I didn't have that feeling and confidence, it was easy to want to second guess and really incredibly frustrating to watch.

I don't interfere and I sure as hell never coach from the sidelines. I get really, REALLY frustrated when the dads start shouting directions to every kid on the field (even a kid that isn't their own!!). I've almost butted heads more than once to tell them to shut the f*ck up. Why is it that the ones that know the least always tend to be the most vocal?

Very well said, especially the last sentence.

[Anonymous]

The problem is more often than not, the club doesn't release who will be the coach of each team prior to you needing to accept the offer, so you really can't vet the coach before hand. And every club has their good and bad coaches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is more often than not, the club doesn't release who will be the coach of each team prior to you needing to accept the offer, so you really can't vet the coach before hand. And every club has their good and bad coaches.

Then you need to find a club that does release that information early enough or at least offers some continuity in coaching as they move on to the next age group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just muzzle the parents. They can watch, sure. Just shut up.

Put more eloquently here ...

http://changingthegameproject.com/open-letter-dad-wont-stop-yelling/

I feel like I've read approximately a thousand articles like this one the last few years. The sentiments are very worthy, no doubt about it. And I certainly support efforts to keep parents from hurling abuse at kids, refs and coaches. But I can't get behind this bit at all: "The best thing you can do after a game is tell me you are proud of me for competing, and showing good sportsmanship, and that you love to watch me play."

You really, truly don't need to tell your child that you love watching them play after every game. Parents have managed to watch their children play sports and maintain good relationships with them throughout our country's sports history without following a saccharine post-game script.

I also think these articles completely overstate how likely most kids are to listen to their parents or other parents instead of their coaches. Our kids have been on and played against teams with active, sometimes obnoxious sideline coaching for years and years, and we have seen no difference in how well the kids succeeded at their sport. I'm sure there are some sensitive kids out there or truly abusive parents who can't be ignored, but I don't think that's the majority. I certainly prefer it if parents keep quiet and I'm sure kids and coaches do too, but I don't see it as the catastrophe it's made out to be.

^^^^This

I agree. I am always rolling my eyes back in my head when I hear every.single.parent say that exact same coined phrase walking to the car. Yes, we've all read these type of articles and it is a big plus from my days of playing in the 80s when I was told: "if you are going to practice like that, go sit in the car" and such. But--get a little more creative with the phrasing. Branch out from that stupid phrase. Also, as kids get older, they know when they played like crap. To sugarcoat and tell them it was great to watch them play is BS. It's insulting. JUST DON'T say anything!! Talk about anything but the game. Let them have time to digest and forget about it if they need to.

As far as coaching, find a good one and then sit back and relax. It's trial and error. You may have to spend a year biting your tongue on the sidelines and huffing quietly when you get it wrong, but when you find your place/club/coach it's a world of difference. It also doesn't have to be so g-damn serious all the time even at the elite level. I love the coaches that make light of things and can poke fun. Keep it fun while learning.

I played very competitively, but hell if my sons are going to listen to their mom's advice. I learned that early. I aimed to find them the best trainers and coaches so they have that relationship with someone other than a family member. I've seen them listen intently and perform the same thing I suggested they do and they rolled their eyes and wouldn't listen--- after the Coach told them just once. I quickly learned my influence was nil. It's good for them to look up to their Coaches as mentors. As they age, it's okay for a Coach to be tough on them. A player at 8 is very different from even a player at 12. Expectations for behavior and practice and demands change as the player grows.

If you do your research properly, you can sit back and relax and just watch the game. I am confident that I placed them in good hands with very knowledgeable coaches/trainers that love the game and care about them as players. When I didn't have that feeling and confidence, it was easy to want to second guess and really incredibly frustrating to watch.

I don't interfere and I sure as hell never coach from the sidelines. I get really, REALLY frustrated when the dads start shouting directions to every kid on the field (even a kid that isn't their own!!). I've almost butted heads more than once to tell them to shut the f*ck up. Why is it that the ones that know the least always tend to be the most vocal?

Agree with everything you've said——except why sit there and bite your tongue? Go tell those dads to shut the F*uck up (in a more diplomatic way obviously). Why are we all such wimps when we see this bad behavior? Ask your coach or TM to designate you as the TSL and just do it!

[Anonymous]

The TSL comment reminded me of another grievance of mine. Are the people who advocate the "I love watching you play" nonsense the same ones who tell TSLs that they are supposed to walk up to other adults on the sideline, whether those adults are acting like dangerous lunatics or simply getting a little to into the game, and hand them a lollipop?

[Anonymous]

I think anyone—especially if the parent is on your team and he's yelling/coaching from sidelines/acting a fool—should have the balls to tell that adult to shut the F up, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think anyone—especially if the parent is on your team and he's yelling/coaching from sidelines/acting a fool—should have the balls to tell that adult to shut the F up, yes.

I guarantee that you do not have the balls to tell any adult to shut the F up if they are coaching from the sideline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think anyone—especially if the parent is on your team and he's yelling/coaching from sidelines/acting a fool—should have the balls to tell that adult to shut the F up, yes.

I guarantee that you do not have the balls to tell any adult to shut the F up if they are coaching from the sideline.

YEAH! It's a battle of anonymous keyboard warriors!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think anyone—especially if the parent is on your team and he's yelling/coaching from sidelines/acting a fool—should have the balls to tell that adult to shut the F up, yes.

I guarantee that you do not have the balls to tell any adult to shut the F up if they are coaching from the sideline.

YEAH! It's a battle of anonymous keyboard warriors!

My response wasn't intended to be aggressive to the original poster. I'm just saying that sure, we SHOULD have balls, but we don't...including the original poster...and ME! Sometimes the people are lunatics that you don't want to mess with, sometimes, they are the parents of your kid's best friend, sometimes they are the ones that you get along with the best, sometimes we a just don't like confrontation. But must of us just don't have the balls.

[Anonymous]

Question for ODSL experts: I know both CCL and WAGS/NCSL let U8 aged players join and play up on U9 travel teams playing in those leagues, but does ODSL not permit its U9 teams to do this for some reason? If so, why?

Thx.