Jen Hatmaker

[Anonymous]

“I’m going to have the best divorce comeback ever. It’s going to be HYUGE. The people love me. Of course, I’m amazing, so, of course, they love me. I can sell ANYTHING to ANYBODY. People want to BE me. I’m AMAZING.”

This is the funniest thing I will read today and it's not even noon here. After plodding through that interview on 1.5x speed, the above is a perfect summation. How can people tolerate others who toot their own horn relentlessly.

Glennon is the puppet master with Abby. Abby seems sweet but has that dumb jock vibe going. In that Loyola commencement speech, she referred to God as she which is so Glennon. She probably wrote the whole speech.

Poor Jen- maybe she is hyping herself up so much because she knows things aren't probably going to work out with Tyler. The distance, her kids, his underwhelming affection, etc. She is searching desperately for threads to hang onto, to love, in the relationship (he said East!) Hoo boy.

I hope she finds someone who makes her a better person.

[Anonymous]

Tyler and her relationship seems like so much work. Which is so sad, because at the beginning of new relationships, things really flow. And you really want the other person to be happy and feel loved. It's.....kind of easy.

[Anonymous]

I’m never going to read another Jen post without hearing Trump’s voice. Thank you.

“A lot of people don’t know this about me, but I am very good with directions. The best ever. They used to call me the Human Compass. Most people don’t know North, South, etc. I do. I’m amazing. Don’t give me that ‘turn left’ b*llsh**. That’s for losers. Are you a loser? I’m a winner. The best ever.”

[Anonymous]

Guyssss…so…I have the BEST deal for you! Do you ever, like, want to ‘do the thing’ in your nighttime routine but not, like, ‘do the thing’? Who has time for that? We are busy humans! No one has time for spending, what, an hour before a mirror when all you want to do is snuggle up in your bed with the latest Glennon manifesto. So…my friends at FaceFactorSheen have this new system. Yes, it’s a sysss-tem. For only $49.99 a month they will ship you everything you need. Every. Thing. It’s all there. Organically and locally sourced and fair trade approved. The ointments are hand mashed by indigenous single mothers. I saw them smash that stuff in one of my sponsored trips. These gals are KILLING IT with their huge stone grinder thingies. Join us! Be sure to use the promo code “JenSaves” for The Best Deal!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guyssss…so…I have the BEST deal for you! Do you ever, like, want to ‘do the thing’ in your nighttime routine but not, like, ‘do the thing’? Who has time for that? We are busy humans! No one has time for spending, what, an hour before a mirror when all you want to do is snuggle up in your bed with the latest Glennon manifesto. So…my friends at FaceFactorSheen have this new system. Yes, it’s a sysss-tem. For only $49.99 a month they will ship you everything you need. Every. Thing. It’s all there. Organically and locally sourced and fair trade approved. The ointments are hand mashed by indigenous single mothers. I saw them smash that stuff in one of my sponsored trips. These gals are KILLING IT with their huge stone grinder thingies. Join us! Be sure to use the promo code “JenSaves” for The Best Deal!”

The sssss killed me. No topping.

[Anonymous]

You forgot to add..."you ALL have been begging for this info..everyone has been asking...and here you go! Big sis Jen has the deal for you!"

[Anonymous]

I saw them smash that stuff in one of my sponsored trips

After all the flack she, Jamie, Howerton and Dooce (!) got for their sponsored impoverished trips, have they even done another one? It was so bad, and this was almost 10 years ago.

[Anonymous]

I think lots of unhealed "golden child" types grow up and get into the influencer or guru role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guyssss…so…I have the BEST deal for you! Do you ever, like, want to ‘do the thing’ in your nighttime routine but not, like, ‘do the thing’? Who has time for that? We are busy humans! No one has time for spending, what, an hour before a mirror when all you want to do is snuggle up in your bed with the latest Glennon manifesto. So…my friends at FaceFactorSheen have this new system. Yes, it’s a sysss-tem. For only $49.99 a month they will ship you everything you need. Every. Thing. It’s all there. Organically and locally sourced and fair trade approved. The ointments are hand mashed by indigenous single mothers. I saw them smash that stuff in one of my sponsored trips. These gals are KILLING IT with their huge stone grinder thingies. Join us! Be sure to use the promo code “JenSaves” for The Best Deal!”

You my dear have a gift the humor writing. That’s some serious funny right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think lots of unhealed "golden child" types grow up and get into the influencer or guru role.

Josh Harris rings a bell. He was the Christian homeschool golden child and then tried to become the guru in the deconstruction of his own book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guyssss…so…I have the BEST deal for you! Do you ever, like, want to ‘do the thing’ in your nighttime routine but not, like, ‘do the thing’? Who has time for that? We are busy humans! No one has time for spending, what, an hour before a mirror when all you want to do is snuggle up in your bed with the latest Glennon manifesto. So…my friends at FaceFactorSheen have this new system. Yes, it’s a sysss-tem. For only $49.99 a month they will ship you everything you need. Every. Thing. It’s all there. Organically and locally sourced and fair trade approved. The ointments are hand mashed by indigenous single mothers. I saw them smash that stuff in one of my sponsored trips. These gals are KILLING IT with their huge stone grinder thingies. Join us! Be sure to use the promo code “JenSaves” for The Best Deal!”

You my dear have a gift the humor writing. That’s some serious funny right there.

Extremely funny. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear this is a for real transcript from one of her posts.


I can just imagine her over on one of those trips, where she magically uncovered this magical ointment…

“These poor single mothers are taking care of business. It’s amazingly inspiring and I burst into tears—-[‘HEY, watch my $2000 purse with that magical berry juice you’re smashing sweetheart!’]; where was I? Oh yes, I cry - no really, I sob, just watching th…. [‘I said WATCH it! These are my specially torn blue jeans made for super hot college co-eds who go to UT (Hook ‘em yall!)], them as they support their family and pull themselves from the depths of poverty. [‘God, I need some A/C and a shower! It’s F’n hot over here”. Jenny! Shonna! Can you find me an Egyptian towel that you KNOW I love to go with my shower?’]”

[Anonymous]

Oh yes, I cry - no really, I sob,

She is always, always, sobbing. This is so funny and so true. Y'all are killing me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guyssss…so…I have the BEST deal for you! Do you ever, like, want to ‘do the thing’ in your nighttime routine but not, like, ‘do the thing’? Who has time for that? We are busy humans! No one has time for spending, what, an hour before a mirror when all you want to do is snuggle up in your bed with the latest Glennon manifesto. So…my friends at FaceFactorSheen have this new system. Yes, it’s a sysss-tem. For only $49.99 a month they will ship you everything you need. Every. Thing. It’s all there. Organically and locally sourced and fair trade approved. The ointments are hand mashed by indigenous single mothers. I saw them smash that stuff in one of my sponsored trips. These gals are KILLING IT with their huge stone grinder thingies. Join us! Be sure to use the promo code “JenSaves” for The Best Deal!”

You my dear have a gift the humor writing. That’s some serious funny right there.

Extremely funny. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear this is a for real transcript from one of her posts.


I can just imagine her over on one of those trips, where she magically uncovered this magical ointment…

“These poor single mothers are taking care of business. It’s amazingly inspiring and I burst into tears—-[‘HEY, watch my $2000 purse with that magical berry juice you’re smashing sweetheart!’]; where was I? Oh yes, I cry - no really, I sob, just watching th…. [‘I said WATCH it! These are my specially torn blue jeans made for super hot college co-eds who go to UT (Hook ‘em yall!)], them as they support their family and pull themselves from the depths of poverty. [‘God, I need some A/C and a shower! It’s F’n hot over here”. Jenny! Shonna! Can you find me an Egyptian towel that you KNOW I love to go with my shower?’]”

Hahahaha awesome

You get the horrible and sad humor of Big Sis.

[Anonymous]

And again she brings up walking out of graduation as if it's cute and quirky

[Anonymous]

Yes I was just going to say here we go again, celebrating plain old brattiness. And once again, the issue isn't the child's behavior as much as it is the parents delighted response.
There would not be a time when a child of mine would have thrown down a gift, no matter how small, without eliciting a response from me. The item would be picked up and returned to said child's hands along with a calm and gentle discussion about how people give things to people they care about. Gratitude would be explained in simple terms. If it was thrown again, the item would disappear for a spell.
We've discussed the graduation episode, and my thought is that while it would be understandable to skip the ceremony based on a variety of reasons, getting up and walking out is just plain rude and inconsiderate.
I believe that this is the kid who got a DUI? I wonder if Mom giggled through that one? Entitled people love to project themselves onto their kids as an extension of their own privilege. I hope Caleb can figure things out before he does something that his mom can't undo. I think the DUI is a logical progression for the little kid whose mom is so proud that he doesn't give a "f".