Revealing pregnancy when you receive an offer

[Anonymous]

Hi have a third interview at a large company tomorrow. I haven't disclosed my pregnancy (nor have I flaunted or intentionally hid it). I tank this job is a great fit for me and I am very excited for the poseibility of the change. I am a fed in a job I don't like at a place I don't like, but I have Aton of leave saved up assuming my boss will let me take it for maternity leave.

That said, I am worried about my rights as a pregnant new employee - they can still fire me else I am on maternity leave, right? Do I negotiate maternity leave while negotiating my offer? How do I bring up the issue in general? Would love to hear from btdt moms.

I had a hard time reconciling not saying anything, but I am not obligated to and they can't ask. I struggled with it but Witt talking to colleagues in positions to hire, I decided to not say anything (they specifically said not to).

If there is anything else I should be remembering to ask, I am all ears.

Yes, I know I might not get an offer but I am trying to stay positive!

[Anonymous]

seems unethical to me to accept a position knowing you'll be out for three months in short order.

[Anonymous]

I would wait until you receive the offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:seems unethical to me to accept a position knowing you'll be out for three months in short order.

I struggled with it, but after reading a ton of HR web sites about the issue, a New York Times article about it, and talking to friends who have jobs where they are responsible for hiring....they ALL said do not say you are pregnant. I did not specifically say I wasn't, since it's illegal for them to ask.

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/15/quandary-considered-pregnant-with-a-job-interview/ was just one of them

I also asked myself if it was unethical to take a job offer knowing one had a disease that is a longer lasting problem than pregnancy. And no, people have to make a living.

[Anonymous]

I took a job when I was almost four months along. I didn't tell them until after I started although they "knew" since I actually had to excuse myself from part of the interview. They took a while to hire me most likely because of that but they ended up hiring me. They laid me off at nie months pregnant. I would be very wary and thoughtful about the whole situation. I definitely wouldn't tell them beforehand but I would negotiate my leave before I started. My place gave me th runaround so I should have seen that as a red flag.

[Anonymous]

I still have some legal job protections, just not FMLA. But I planned on negotiating leave with the overall offer. I'd love to hear more from people who have done this.

I obviously have some serious concerns, but I also have concerns about staying in my agency (severe cuts, furloughs are just the beginning, and also no where to go - this is a dead end job).

[Anonymous]

Be careful - at some companies, you don't get benefits until you come off probation, so find out if that's the case and if it is, how long the probation period generally is. Be aware a company can decide to extend a probationary period.

[Anonymous]

I work in HR. You absolutely don't have to disclose it. Or you can disclose it and try to negotiate leave. It's up to you.

This is how I feel about it -- I personally would not want to work for the kind of place that would fire someone for taking leave. So I would disclose and try to negotiate leave, BUT keep in mind that they can rescind their offer during negotiations.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I was hired in a new position at 7 weeks pregnant. I hadn't even had my first appointment so I didn't disclose. I ended up telling them when I was about 14 weeks, they were awesome and even gave me full maternity leave, even tho I wasn't technically eligible.

[Anonymous]

I'm not an HR person, but I thought that at some places, you might not be able to take paid maternity leave until you are there for a while (that you can take unpaid FMLA, but not use paid leave until after whatever probationary period of time).

I could totally be wrong about that, but you should check on it.

Also, maternity leave policies/benefits vary between agencies. They are NOT the same across all Fed jobs. Of course, FMLA guarantees you can take unpaid leave, but you should ask before accepting a position what the maternity leave policy is.

Personally, I would not accept a job without first asking detailed questions about the leave policy, specifically maternity leave, and also clearing my own situation. I know you risk not getting the job, but I would fear risking alienating myself in the new job if I didn't disclose those things, ask questions and make sure we were all on the same page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not an HR person, but I thought that at some places, you might not be able to take paid maternity leave until you are there for a while (that you can take unpaid FMLA, but not use paid leave until after whatever probationary period of time).

I could totally be wrong about that, but you should check on it.

Also, maternity leave policies/benefits vary between agencies. They are NOT the same across all Fed jobs. Of course, FMLA guarantees you can take unpaid leave, but you should ask before accepting a position what the maternity leave policy is.

Personally, I would not accept a job without first asking detailed questions about the leave policy, specifically maternity leave, and also clearing my own situation. I know you risk not getting the job, but I would fear risking alienating myself in the new job if I didn't disclose those things, ask questions and make sure we were all on the same page.

OP wouldn't be eligible for FMLA since she won't have been there for a year by the time she gives birth.

[Anonymous]

Op here: thanks for all the input. To clarify, I WOULD disclose the pregnancy during the offer/negotiation state. I was planning on being OK with a lower salary as long as I had some written agreement that I could take unpaid maternity leave.
As a new employee, I do NOT have access to FMLA - you have to be there a year. But to clarify further, at my job here, FMLA is unpaid as well.

I know about a probationary period, I'd be OK with having an extended probationary period as long as doctor's visits for my child were considered exempt. I am also allowed to COBRA my health care if they won't offer me health care before a number of months (which I don't think is the case), and then I had planned on joining my husband's health care plan once the baby is born.

I'd love to hear more from HR people about how to negotiate the issue of maternity leave. I also wouldn't want to work somewhere where this was a big issue - and I think it's a good opportunity to see if my "values" (if that's the right word) fit with theirs. I believe they do, as their "employee benefits" section of the web site specifically says that their international presence influences their always-modernizing benefits...so you never know.

I do NOT plan on quitting my job until there is a set and accepted offer that includes a maternity plan. If they pull the offer....fine, I guess, because (like PP said) I wouldn't want to work somewhere that would do that.

I also have a TON of annual leave at my current job that I could hopefully go on terminal leave (or if I have to, take a payout) that would cushion my unpaid leave I might have to take.

Lastly - if anyone has recommendations for questions to ask at negotiation that I might not have thought of, I'd love to hear them.

[Anonymous]

I accepted an offer when 4 weeks pregnant (yes, I actually got a BFP a few hours after accepting the offer, although I suspected I might be pregnant before then). I disclosed at around 15 weeks, and my boss was awesome about getting HR to allow me the same amount of time off that I would have gotten had I been eligible for FMLA. The HR did send me an official letter that while they allowed me to take off, that I was not to construe that as being eligible for FMLA (I guess that was their CYA move in case they decided to terminate me during my leave after all). This was a few years ago though, the job market was booming and my area in particular was really hot. I had nothing to lose because I had been laid off from my prior job and this was the only offer I had, but honestly I don't know if I would do it again especially if I was employed and in the current job market. At the very least, you should disclose after you get an offer. You won't be eligible for FMLA so I would definitely make sure they know you will be out, and find out their leave policy before accepting.

[Anonymous]

I would NOT take a lower amount of money! If o are he right person for the job, let them pay you for thy even though you are pregnant! Try an negotiate some pai time off too...maybe not twelve weeks but don ask, don't get!

[Anonymous]

OP, I would not agree to a lower salary in exchange for being allowed to take maternity leave. That seems like a very short-sighted decision. Maybe you could bake into your contract that your salary will be X for the first year, including however many months of parental leave, and that your second year, your salary would be X+whatever you would have been making before.

Do not screw yourself in the long term for unpaid leave.