Revealing pregnancy when you receive an offer
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Anonymous
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Do I just proudly display my belly when I go in for the next meetings? I am not a passive aggressive person.
My options seem to be 1) just keep ignoring it and see if I get an offer (cons: having to keep finding interview clothes that fit!); 2) write an email saying that I am very interested in both the company and the position, and I understand their timeline...however, I am pregnant and want to be open and honest about wanting to get some time in at the position before baby arrives; 3) withdraw myself from consideration..... My husband said to ask how many other people they at considering. He says if it's a case of they want me. To meet everyone else because I am their preferred candidate, they just want an up or down from the team, then I will know whether they turn me down because of pregnancy. |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't say anything until you have an offer in hand. If it is that obvious, they may pick up on it. If it's not, why take the chance? Once you have the offer, you can tell them. For all you know it may take another month or two to wind your way through the interview stage. And it will be harder for them to reject you if they've already made up their mind that you are the candidate they want. But if you tell them and then don't get the offer, you'll never know if it was due to pregnancy or other reasons.
I like a PP's idea of just negotiating your start date to be after you've already taken leave in your current job. I am not sure about what you're calling terminal leave, but just set your departure date 14 weeks post partum. Or if you think they might deny you the extra leave if they know you aren't staying on -- which, since you're covered by FMLA, they can't, at least as to 12 weeks of it -- just take the leave, and THEN tell them you are departing. It is not a big deal. Employees come and go all the time, even from the federal government. Unless you are retiring, which takes a lot of paperwork, it just isn't that hard to process someone out. They have to pay you for your accumulated and unused leave anyway, so you get it one way or the other. |
Anonymous
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Go to the subsequent interviews.
They can't legally ask you about it. You weave it in while answering Why you want to work there. You want to work there so much that you applied even though XYZ. We all know how important making the right hire is. |
Anonymous
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If you want to take a maternity leave shortly after starting the new job, or want to delay your start date significantly then you need to tell when you receive the offer. As someone who is doing hiring now, I would be really pissed if you demanded 3-4 months off after you started (or wanted to delay your start date significantly). Many times, we need someone to start ASAP due to someone's departure or do work on a particular project. To me, it's the same as if you wanted to delay to take a long awaited vacation or something like that. The fact that it's pregnancy is irrelevant. If you are our top candidate, we would probably work it out. But if you were not, then your lack of availability takes you out of the running.
Now, if you only want to take a short leave then that's another story. To me, revealing pregnancy is really about what kind of leave you are expecting new employer to give you. |
Anonymous
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Op here. I wouldn't take the job without disclosing the pregnancy (which will be obvious anyway) and having my plans approved in writing.
I would ideally start now! Get up and running and all that. But that isn't happening. I might have to just assume the timing isn't right but I will see what the follow up interview options are. |
Anonymous
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I never disclosed my pregnancy - I was 5 months when I got the offer. I told them after I started the job.
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Anonymous
| 5:51: how did it work out? |
Anonymous
| 5:51 here. It worked out totally fine. No one said anything to me about it... |
Anonymous
How much leave did you ask for and how much leave did they give you? |
Anonymous
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OP - any updates on this? did you get the job and if so what did you negotiate?
I have a somewhat similar issue - I am NOT currently pregnant but would love to start trying in the next few months. I am also actively job searching. Of course I will not say anything during an interview, but I worry about being at a company for less than one year and getting pregnant. I would most likely be CLOSE to one year but just never know depending on how long the job search is and how long it takes to conceive.... if I am employed for less than a year the employer could in theory just let me go once I take my leave because FMLA would not apply to me - right? and if they do have a maternity policy I would not benefit from it until I was there a year? of course I would hope that they would value me as an employee but I want to cover all my bases first... |
Anonymous
I completely agree! You only have one chance to negotiate salary. Take a look on some sites like LinkedIn about negotiating salary. Good luck. |
Anonymous
Not the OP. Disclosing at an interview that you would like to start trying for a family is a nonsense to me. It is your personal life and you don't have to explain/justify it. We started trying 3 years ago and thought it would take 3-6 months to get pregnant because we were young and healthy. Well, 3 years later, 2 surgeries and 6IVFs, and I am still not pregnant. It does not mean the same will happen to you. Just telling you that you are overthinking and what you plan, may not be the way things happen (for reasons beyond your control). Women get pregnant all the time. If you are professional and do your job, it is likely the company will make efforts to keep you post pregnancy. Good people are hard to find even in this economy. And if the company would fire you over pregnancy, you probably don't want to work at such environment anyway. |
Anonymous
OP here, my last interview I had with them was a few weeks ago and I clearly looked pregnant (FWIW, I had 3 interviews in the span of a week). I wrote a thank you email, received a "we'll be in touch soon!" and never heard back. I followed up, but nothing. I decided it's not worth following up any more because I've only got 11 weeks to go. It was a great fit and they seemed really, really interested. I'm not killing myself over finding out what happened. I have my suspicions. If it were me, I would wait until I had a year in before my due date in order to protect myself - wait 6 months, then start trying (if you're young enough you can do that) |
Anonymous
I have to agree with this. In a perfect world (as if we can all control when pregnancies happen), time it for your birth to happen after you've been in place for a year. You don't need the stress of worrying about leave time when you are pregnant. Much easier to fall well within the lines of the law. |
Anonymous
This is my situation exactly! I have some long-term side effects from cancer-related treatments, that do not prohibit me from performing the job I'm interviewing for, but I will need some time off for follow-up doctor visits or to take care of those 'side effects' once they happen. I have not disclosed this issue during my interviews, and I do sometimes feel that I'm not being exactly forthcoming.. But, just like you said, people do have to make a living. |