One person wants a prenup and the other does not

[Anonymous]

^How does it not make sense? PP's point is that given the high rate of divorce to most it's really only a theoretical commitment in that nothing stops them from divorcing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^How does it not make sense? PP's point is that given the high rate of divorce to most it's really only a theoretical commitment in that nothing stops them from divorcing.

Exactly! Just go through any of the threads and see how often when there is a problem, the standard advice is to end the marriage, to dump his ass or less often to dump her ass.

How often do you see any posters saying you married him/her for better or for worse till death do you part? Rarely, does that happen which just tells you that marriage as a commitment is just in theory. If all goes well stick with it and if there are any major waves move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got married because we felt it important that we made a public and notorious commitment to each other in the presence of several hundred friends and family

You could have just had a big party because that's what you really wanted. A giant party. Way to go, idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people do still look sideways at women who have babies outside of marriage, at least in my SES. Sure, they don't openly discriminate anymore, but deep down, there's a prejudice.

As there should be. For a reason, ladies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people do still look sideways at women who have babies outside of marriage, at least in my SES. Sure, they don't openly discriminate anymore, but deep down, there's a prejudice.

As there should be. For a reason, ladies.

And the reason is? Care to elaborate?

[Anonymous]

I think a prenup is a great idea. What's wrong with the idea that men and women are equal and his money is his and her money is her's? If the woman starts the next Microsoft why should the man share in it if things don't work out? Same if the man does that.

Just because you marry a rich guy you shouldn't think that his success becomes your success if things don't work out. Same for a man marrying a wealthy woman.

[Anonymous]

Prenups protect what you brought into the marriage, not things that you two hypothetically build together while married. Walk lady. Walk.

[Anonymous]

Ay... this is a 5-year old thread. OP has long moved on.

[Anonymous]

Or maybe she married him, and can update DCUM on how things are working out for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No businesses owned. He makes more money than I. Any businesses that he creates in the marriage, he wants. No alimony. If I contribute, say 20 percent towards house bills, then in a divorce, that's what I get towards the house.

As a guy, find another guy. If a friend of mine told me that was his plan, I would laugh in face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Prenups protect what you brought into the marriage, not things that you two hypothetically build together while married. Walk lady. Walk.

By extension, let’s say OP’s DH brings $800K into the marriage and she brings $200K into the marriage and they agree to keep finances separate. If DH puts $500K of his money at risk to start a business and turns it into $2M, should DW be entitled to half or a portion of it in a divorce? If you say yes, what happens if the business fails and he loses the $500K, does she have any obligation to share in the loss? You can’t have it night ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No businesses owned. He makes more money than I. Any businesses that he creates in the marriage, he wants. No alimony. If I contribute, say 20 percent towards house bills, then in a divorce, that's what I get towards the house.

Dump his sorry ass

This. Run!!!!!

[Anonymous]

A prenup is a GREAT idea, but it needs to be fair and reasonable. He wants the business, fine, but you get (fill in the blank what matters to you). I would punt the whole thing to lawyers and let them hash it out. He pays of course.

It is a great idea to figure all this out now while everyone is calm, reasonable, and in love, then 20 years from now when he's got an affair partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of insecure women here looking for a good provider.

Why not try getting out and working so that you are no dependent on some guy's income whether you remain married or not? What ever happened to all the feminism and self-worth when it comes prenups?

Rich single working mom here. Getting out and working, great idea - if they don't have kids. Once you have kids, it becomes very, very difficult for a woman to maximize her earning potential.

I agree that OP is better off with a sperm bank than this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No businesses owned. He makes more money than I. Any businesses that he creates in the marriage, he wants. No alimony. If I contribute, say 20 percent towards house bills, then in a divorce, that's what I get towards the house.

This is heartbreaking and I cannot even read this thread.

Tell him he gets 20% of your eggs and 20% of your uterus, and 20% of your time for all domestic and childrearing duties.

OP, honestly, on a serious note....tell him you're happy to sign one, under review with your own independent counsel. And then listen to that person. It will be the best money you ever spend.

I told my husband the same, and that I would also expect his to pay for my legal fees. He agreed, and the later waived and we married without one.