My 4 Yr Old Son's FSIQ is 131, Now What?

[Anonymous]

Ah ha ha ha ha!!!

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/136236.page

[Anonymous]

"PPs who like to say this child is not that advanced or that it will even out. Umm...these are truely the insecure words of parents of NT or SN children. You don't have to accept this now, but this is the reality."

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/105/136236.page#1187630

NT=neurotypical

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but there is nothing on that page about homeschooling or feeling unloved. One person posts a matter-of-fact warning to others about posters who attack parents of gifted kids and the sort of language they use.

Your pov, in your own words, is that it is okay for you to refer to your DC's IQ, by using the term "hg," but not okay for other people to talk mention their DC's IQ or make distinctions between levels of giftedness. There are inherent inconsistencies in this.

I'm afraid it is untruthful for you to claim that all you said is that there is enough bad behavior to go around.

I'm not offended in the least. I'm curious. I wonder why you express so much anger and need to attack posters on this thread because of things that other posters said long ago on other threads, if they were said at all, which seems unlikely.

[Anonymous]

She's not making this up. For a relatively recent example, search for the thread on whether Norwood is the right place for a kid who is several grades ahead. Behaviors in question occur throughout the latter half of the thread, if I remember correctly.

That said, isn't it time to give thIs issue a rest?

[Anonymous]

I'm the poster being attacked by 20:14. No, I'm not making it up. I remember the Norwood thread.

I seem to have hit a nerve with 20:14, though, who is calling me a liar ("untruthful") and accusing me of "so much anger."

Yes, it's time to give this a rest. Seems like 20:14 doesn't want to hear it, anyway.

[Anonymous]

One of my favorite DCUM quotes is from the Norwood thread: "It's not about doing well by your standards. It's about what is well by the kid's standards. Your standard may fall short for the kid though more than admirable for you."

[Anonymous]

I don't think she is a liar, but I think she is confused. I have yet to see any post that supports either her claim about homeschooling or about people feeling upset about being hated. Even if there were posts like this, they were on other threads and probably not made by the mother she attacked.

She seems to be the same person who claims her kids are in hg magnets. If so, why is she posting here in the private school forum? This is also odd.

I agree with your last comment. It is time to give this issue a rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think she is a liar, but I think she is confused. I have yet to see any post that supports either her claim about homeschooling or about people feeling upset about being hated. Even if there were posts like this, they were on other threads and probably not made by the mother she attacked.

She seems to be the same person who claims her kids are in hg magnets. If so, why is she posting here in the private school forum? This is also odd.

I agree with your last comment. It is time to give this issue a rest.

Yes. I said in two separate posts within the past day: this is a pattern of bad behavior that crosses threads.

How on earth do you know where my kids go to school? You don't. And I'm not going to tell you, either.

[Anonymous]

What kind of freak brags about her child's meaningless test score? LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of freak brags about her child's meaningless test score? LOL.

When someone states their child's IQ in a thread about what to do with a child with a high IQ it's not bragging. It's a data point that is relevant to the topic. The score may be meaningless in many ways like future happiness in life, work ethic, athetic ability, fiscal responsibility, etc. etc. etc. But I don't think it's meaningless when you are talking about educational choices. It's also pretty well known that besides educational needs there are marked differences in social and emotional traits and needs in children on either end of the curve.

Gifted children are not better or more worthy but they are different. Because of these differences they have different needs. Parenting a gifted kid can be challenging and it makes it especially difficult when other parents are constantly accusing you of bragging and being outwardly hostile. Sadly some parents are so influenced by this that they begin to play down their children's accomplishments while playing up their weaknesses and this can be damaging to their children's sense of self worth and self esteem. These children are acutely aware and these things don't go by unnoticed.

Why don't some of you just live and let live. Just try to give us the benefit of the doubt. We are just parents like everyone else here trying to figure this parenting thing out one day at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of freak brags about her child's meaningless test score? LOL.

When someone states their child's IQ in a thread about what to do with a child with a high IQ it's not bragging. It's a data point that is relevant to the topic. The score may be meaningless in many ways like future happiness in life, work ethic, athetic ability, fiscal responsibility, etc. etc. etc. But I don't think it's meaningless when you are talking about educational choices. It's also pretty well known that besides educational needs there are marked differences in social and emotional traits and needs in children on either end of the curve.

Gifted children are not better or more worthy but they are different. Because of these differences they have different needs. Parenting a gifted kid can be challenging and it makes it especially difficult when other parents are constantly accusing you of bragging and being outwardly hostile. Sadly some parents are so influenced by this that they begin to play down their children's accomplishments while playing up their weaknesses and this can be damaging to their children's sense of self worth and self esteem. These children are acutely aware and these things don't go by unnoticed.

Why don't some of you just live and let live. Just try to give us the benefit of the doubt. We are just parents like everyone else here trying to figure this parenting thing out one day at a time.

This isn't wrong by itself. But it shows a complete failure to take in anything that's been said over the last 5-10 pages. That is, you paint a picture of being under constant attack, with everybody "constantly accusing you of bragging," and "being outwardly hostile," and other posters just not being able to "live and let live" or "give you the benefit of the doubt."

The point that several of us are trying to make--which you don't seem to be able to absorb--is that sometimes parents of gifted kids act in ways that are offensive by any objective standard, embarrassing, or disruptive. It goes way beyond a single mention of an IQ number. But this point can only be repeated so many times, so let's all go do something else with our time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of freak brags about her child's meaningless test score? LOL.

When someone states their child's IQ in a thread about what to do with a child with a high IQ it's not bragging. It's a data point that is relevant to the topic. The score may be meaningless in many ways like future happiness in life, work ethic, athetic ability, fiscal responsibility, etc. etc. etc. But I don't think it's meaningless when you are talking about educational choices. It's also pretty well known that besides educational needs there are marked differences in social and emotional traits and needs in children on either end of the curve.

Gifted children are not better or more worthy but they are different. Because of these differences they have different needs. Parenting a gifted kid can be challenging and it makes it especially difficult when other parents are constantly accusing you of bragging and being outwardly hostile. Sadly some parents are so influenced by this that they begin to play down their children's accomplishments while playing up their weaknesses and this can be damaging to their children's sense of self worth and self esteem. These children are acutely aware and these things don't go by unnoticed.

Why don't some of you just live and let live. Just try to give us the benefit of the doubt. We are just parents like everyone else here trying to figure this parenting thing out one day at a time.

This isn't wrong by itself. But it shows a complete failure to take in anything that's been said over the last 5-10 pages. That is, you paint a picture of being under constant attack, with everybody "constantly accusing you of bragging," and "being outwardly hostile," and other posters just not being able to "live and let live" or "give you the benefit of the doubt."

The point that several of us are trying to make--which you don't seem to be able to absorb--is that sometimes parents of gifted kids act in ways that are offensive by any objective standard, embarrassing, or disruptive. It goes way beyond a single mention of an IQ number. But this point can only be repeated so many times, so let's all go do something else with our time.

I was responding to a post that called another parent a freak. I wasn't responding to the overall topic at the moment in general. I just didn't think it was nice to call someone a freak and I thought an explanation about why the other parent may have decided to post the iq score would help, (ie. she felt it was relevant).

But, since you brought up the bigger picture with me about feeling "under attack". I will say that I do on these boards. Maybe it's wrong but it is how I feel.

I don't think that the post reflects a complete failure to take anything that's been said under consideration. I just have a different perspective on the matter. I know that I personally don't feel the need to brag at all about my child's iq because it's nothing to brag about. I don't feel that it makes a bit of difference as far as someone's worth and I know it doesn't make anyone better than anyone else. I also know that hard work and perserverance are far more likely to bring success in life than iq. I take great care in constructing responses to posts about gifted issues to try and keep your points in mind so that I don't offend. My issue is that even if this is in the front of my mind and I take great care to avoid accusations of bragging and offending people it just doesn't matter. It's hurtful to me to see other parents of similar kids being called a freak, obnoxious, pathetic (I was called that about a year ago), etc. etc. It hits close to home.

I'm not saying that there aren't parents out there who come here to brag but I'm pretty confident that a good deal of them just want to get advice and share information. I think it would be best to give everyone the benefit of the doubt so that the well intentioned parents aren't shamed into silence because of a few bad apples.

[Anonymous]

In part you're sharing the fallout for the behavior of other parents of gifteds. Like the parent quoted in 20:04 above, who told other posters that their kids must be neurotypical or special needs. If you follow the link, you can see this was posted fairly recently and is still in peoples' minds. Or the recent Norwood thread.

[Anonymous]

neurotypical = just plain average

[Anonymous]

FWIW, arguments here have mostly been among parents of "gifted" kids (or, more precisely, among people who represent themselves as the parents of gifted kids). The freak comment may have been an exception.

At any rate, the question isn't one of denial (i.e. failure to recognize/acknowledge/admit differences in intellectual development), so much as differences of opinion wrt how you as a parent react to that phenomenon.