Reply to My 4 Yr Old Son's FSIQ is 131, Now What?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What kind of freak brags about her child's meaningless test score?  LOL.[/quote]

When someone states their child's IQ in a thread about what to do with a child with a high IQ it's not bragging.  It's a data point that is relevant to the topic.  The score may be meaningless in many ways like future happiness in life, work ethic, athetic ability, fiscal responsibility, etc. etc. etc.  But I don't think it's meaningless when you are talking about educational choices.  It's also pretty well known that besides educational needs there are marked differences in social and emotional traits and needs in children on either end of the curve.

Gifted children are not better or more worthy but they are different.  Because of these differences they have different needs.  Parenting a gifted kid can be challenging and it makes it especially difficult when other parents are constantly accusing you of bragging and being outwardly hostile.  Sadly some parents are so influenced by this that they begin to play down their children's accomplishments while playing up their weaknesses and this can be damaging to their children's sense of self worth and self esteem.  These children are acutely aware and these things don't go by unnoticed.

Why don't some of you just live and let live.  Just try to give us the benefit of the doubt.  We are just parents like everyone else here trying to figure this parenting thing out one day at a time.

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This isn't wrong by itself.  But it shows a complete failure to take in anything that's been said over the last 5-10 pages.  That is, you paint a picture of being under constant attack, with everybody "constantly accusing you of bragging," and "being outwardly hostile," and other posters just not being able to "live and let live" or "give you the benefit of the doubt."

The point that several of us are trying to make--which you don't seem to be able to absorb--is that sometimes parents of gifted kids act in ways that are offensive by any objective standard, embarrassing, or disruptive.  It goes way beyond a single mention of an IQ number.  But this point can only be repeated so many times, so let's all go do something else with our time.[/quote]

I was responding to a post that called another parent a freak.  I wasn't responding to the overall topic at the moment in general.  I just didn't think it was nice to call someone a freak and I thought an explanation about why the other parent may have decided to post the iq score would help, (ie. she felt it was relevant).

But, since you brought up the bigger picture with me about feeling "under attack". I will say that I do on these boards.  Maybe it's wrong but it is how I feel.

I don't think that the post reflects a complete failure to take anything that's been said under consideration.  I just have a different perspective on the matter.  I know that I personally don't feel the need to brag at all about my child's iq because it's nothing to brag about.  I don't feel that it makes a bit of difference as far as someone's worth and I know it doesn't make anyone better than anyone else.  I also know that hard work and perserverance are far more likely to bring success in life than iq.  I take great care in constructing responses to posts about gifted issues to try and keep your points in mind so that I don't offend.  My issue is that even if this is in the front of my mind and I take great care to avoid accusations of bragging and offending people it just doesn't matter.  It's hurtful to me to see other parents of similar kids being called a freak, obnoxious, pathetic (I was called that about a year ago), etc. etc.  It hits close to home.

I'm not saying that there aren't parents out there who come here to brag but I'm pretty confident that a good deal of them just want to get advice and share information.  I think it would be best to give everyone the benefit of the doubt so that the well intentioned parents aren't shamed into silence because of a few bad apples.

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