Shocked at how many families in nice DMV neighborhoods are living in relatives' homes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips.
I'm so jealous.
They really have the perfect set up.

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

I'm. So. Jealous.

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.
2. Those who feel bitter & resentful because they'll never receive those same privileges AND
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself.

Exactly. It's so transparent. Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into. The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic

I don’t think OP is seething. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all. People without purpose pick up bad habits.

I think they are. Because the harsh reality is, there's nothing trainwreck about a guy with an easy non-profit job and a trust fund living a great life in a nice Chevy Chase or Kalorama with his family. There's nothing trainwreck about belonging to a tony country or university club and socializing (and getting valuable connections) with your boarding school buddies. It can be infuriating and enraging to watch these people get handed all the things so many others have worked so hard for, striven their whole lives for. And these guys just get it handed to them on a silver platter, with a maddening insouciance that makes it even worse.

Ooo yeah, this is me. I’m not a train wreck and I haven’t squandered anything. I’m pretty responsible! Never been fired, arrested, genuinely pretty good at my job, etc etc. I just have like, $5m than I’ve earned and that’s not even counting any of the tuition etc. AND I have dramatically different retirement requirements, which really frees us to take entrepreneurial risks and do things like have a SAHP for a while.

I guess we’ll all get cancer?

Right. Which is probably the much more common story than the boozing drug addict trust fund kid who ruins their life because their parents paid for college. The unfair reality is that some people have a lot more advantages and get a lot of help in life. The emotionally mature response to this is to be happy for them and understand that no ill was done to you just because your parents werent rich and you had to earn every penny yourself. The hate for trust funders and old money types on here is just very predictable and frankly embarrassing. Envy is such a bad look

Factually, most generational wealth is squandered in 3 generations.

The stats are 60% is lost by the 2nd generation and 90% by the 3rd.

Who cares? Some will keep it, some won't. Some of these old money families are several generations deep, and have a wealth of social connections worth their weight in gold. It will be up to their descendants to maintain things, same for the new rich couples, which probably have a much higher likelihood of raising drug addict silly wastrels considering they dont have many generations used to having money.

Not quite what the stats show. Time and time again the first generation works hard and is highly successful. Second generation watched them work hard so has a sense of money and manages things ok. Third generation is spoiled and entitled and that is the end of the wealth in 90% of situations.

Except by the time youre dealing with true old money families, theyve surpassed that stat and through clever money management, passing down an attitude of frugality and conservatism, and connections, theyve managed to keep the money flowing for generations. Escaping that particular familial curse. The new money families are the ones who should be concerned about it.

And after all, if running out of money is an inevitability, according to your philosophy- time's gonna catch up with the new money strivers as well, so who cares whether it's in two or three generations? After all, it's just a matter of time for both, so why feel smug about a few extra years? How is that a win?

I find it comical when someone mentions true "old money" families and yet here we are implying there are tons living amongst us in the CC DC area where the median house price is like $1.1MM. Somehow they employ clever money management techniques and keep the money flowing...I guess by living in the house they paid $100k for 45 years ago, which they don't renovate (or I guess they inherited).

Sure, there are families living in Georgetown, Massachusetts Heights and other areas where old-money people would live.

I guess this is like those boxed-wine commercials from the 1980s where the super-wealthy person has the tagline "how do you think I got so rich" when serving their guests boxed wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips.
I'm so jealous.
They really have the perfect set up.

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

I'm. So. Jealous.

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.
2. Those who feel bitter & resentful because they'll never receive those same privileges AND
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself.

Exactly. It's so transparent. Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into. The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic

I don’t think OP is seething. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all. People without purpose pick up bad habits.

I think they are. Because the harsh reality is, there's nothing trainwreck about a guy with an easy non-profit job and a trust fund living a great life in a nice Chevy Chase or Kalorama with his family. There's nothing trainwreck about belonging to a tony country or university club and socializing (and getting valuable connections) with your boarding school buddies. It can be infuriating and enraging to watch these people get handed all the things so many others have worked so hard for, striven their whole lives for. And these guys just get it handed to them on a silver platter, with a maddening insouciance that makes it even worse.

Ooo yeah, this is me. I’m not a train wreck and I haven’t squandered anything. I’m pretty responsible! Never been fired, arrested, genuinely pretty good at my job, etc etc. I just have like, $5m than I’ve earned and that’s not even counting any of the tuition etc. AND I have dramatically different retirement requirements, which really frees us to take entrepreneurial risks and do things like have a SAHP for a while.

I guess we’ll all get cancer?

Right. Which is probably the much more common story than the boozing drug addict trust fund kid who ruins their life because their parents paid for college. The unfair reality is that some people have a lot more advantages and get a lot of help in life. The emotionally mature response to this is to be happy for them and understand that no ill was done to you just because your parents werent rich and you had to earn every penny yourself. The hate for trust funders and old money types on here is just very predictable and frankly embarrassing. Envy is such a bad look

Factually, most generational wealth is squandered in 3 generations.

The stats are 60% is lost by the 2nd generation and 90% by the 3rd.

Who cares? Some will keep it, some won't. Some of these old money families are several generations deep, and have a wealth of social connections worth their weight in gold. It will be up to their descendants to maintain things, same for the new rich couples, which probably have a much higher likelihood of raising drug addict silly wastrels considering they dont have many generations used to having money.

Not quite what the stats show. Time and time again the first generation works hard and is highly successful. Second generation watched them work hard so has a sense of money and manages things ok. Third generation is spoiled and entitled and that is the end of the wealth in 90% of situations.

Except by the time youre dealing with true old money families, theyve surpassed that stat and through clever money management, passing down an attitude of frugality and conservatism, and connections, theyve managed to keep the money flowing for generations. Escaping that particular familial curse. The new money families are the ones who should be concerned about it.

And after all, if running out of money is an inevitability, according to your philosophy- time's gonna catch up with the new money strivers as well, so who cares whether it's in two or three generations? After all, it's just a matter of time for both, so why feel smug about a few extra years? How is that a win?

I find it comical when someone mentions true "old money" families and yet here we are implying there are tons living amongst us in the CC DC area where the median house price is like $1.1MM. Somehow they employ clever money management techniques and keep the money flowing...I guess by living in the house they paid $100k for 45 years ago, which they don't renovate (or I guess they inherited).

Sure, there are families living in Georgetown, Massachusetts Heights and other areas where old-money people would live.

I guess this is like those boxed-wine commercials from the 1980s where the super-wealthy person has the tagline "how do you think I got so rich" when serving their guests boxed wine.

I find it comical you think there are no old money families in Chevy Chase, when in fact it's KNOWN for being old money. Just because youre not aware of that, or have some kind of comical, caricature esque image of old money that you got from a Baz Luhrmann film, doesnt mean they dont exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips.
I'm so jealous.
They really have the perfect set up.

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

I'm. So. Jealous.

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.
2. Those who feel bitter & resentful because they'll never receive those same privileges AND
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself.

Exactly. It's so transparent. Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into. The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic

I don’t think OP is seething. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all. People without purpose pick up bad habits.

I think they are. Because the harsh reality is, there's nothing trainwreck about a guy with an easy non-profit job and a trust fund living a great life in a nice Chevy Chase or Kalorama with his family. There's nothing trainwreck about belonging to a tony country or university club and socializing (and getting valuable connections) with your boarding school buddies. It can be infuriating and enraging to watch these people get handed all the things so many others have worked so hard for, striven their whole lives for. And these guys just get it handed to them on a silver platter, with a maddening insouciance that makes it even worse.

Ooo yeah, this is me. I’m not a train wreck and I haven’t squandered anything. I’m pretty responsible! Never been fired, arrested, genuinely pretty good at my job, etc etc. I just have like, $5m than I’ve earned and that’s not even counting any of the tuition etc. AND I have dramatically different retirement requirements, which really frees us to take entrepreneurial risks and do things like have a SAHP for a while.

I guess we’ll all get cancer?

Right. Which is probably the much more common story than the boozing drug addict trust fund kid who ruins their life because their parents paid for college. The unfair reality is that some people have a lot more advantages and get a lot of help in life. The emotionally mature response to this is to be happy for them and understand that no ill was done to you just because your parents werent rich and you had to earn every penny yourself. The hate for trust funders and old money types on here is just very predictable and frankly embarrassing. Envy is such a bad look

Factually, most generational wealth is squandered in 3 generations.

The stats are 60% is lost by the 2nd generation and 90% by the 3rd.

Who cares? Some will keep it, some won't. Some of these old money families are several generations deep, and have a wealth of social connections worth their weight in gold. It will be up to their descendants to maintain things, same for the new rich couples, which probably have a much higher likelihood of raising drug addict silly wastrels considering they dont have many generations used to having money.

Nobody cares...but PPs have indicated that wealth just seems to continue for many generations, which is not factually true.

Putting aside anecdotes which are a terrible way to prove any point, the facts are that generations do squander generational wealth. So, It's more accurate that the trust fund kid doesn't end up doing much productive because of the wealth, and then leaves less to their progeny, and by the 3rd generation it is all gone.

It often does continue for generations, as old money families prove. The ones that last for centuries often have frugal tricks up their sleeve (such as giving their house to offspring, learning to live frugally even though you have the trust) that new money people could never understand. Most of those stats are for people who suddenly get rich- aka the nouveau riche strivers that love to brag about the big house they bought. Ironic, isn't it?

WTF are you talking about? Now these are families like the DuPonts, Astors, etc....who were billionaires?

I mean, I don't think the Gates, Bezos, Zuckerberg, etc. families will squander their wealth, even though that's new money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips.
I'm so jealous.
They really have the perfect set up.

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

I'm. So. Jealous.

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.
2. Those who feel bitter & resentful because they'll never receive those same privileges AND
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself.

Exactly. It's so transparent. Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into. The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic

I don’t think OP is seething. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all. People without purpose pick up bad habits.

I think they are. Because the harsh reality is, there's nothing trainwreck about a guy with an easy non-profit job and a trust fund living a great life in a nice Chevy Chase or Kalorama with his family. There's nothing trainwreck about belonging to a tony country or university club and socializing (and getting valuable connections) with your boarding school buddies. It can be infuriating and enraging to watch these people get handed all the things so many others have worked so hard for, striven their whole lives for. And these guys just get it handed to them on a silver platter, with a maddening insouciance that makes it even worse.

Ooo yeah, this is me. I’m not a train wreck and I haven’t squandered anything. I’m pretty responsible! Never been fired, arrested, genuinely pretty good at my job, etc etc. I just have like, $5m than I’ve earned and that’s not even counting any of the tuition etc. AND I have dramatically different retirement requirements, which really frees us to take entrepreneurial risks and do things like have a SAHP for a while.

I guess we’ll all get cancer?

Right. Which is probably the much more common story than the boozing drug addict trust fund kid who ruins their life because their parents paid for college. The unfair reality is that some people have a lot more advantages and get a lot of help in life. The emotionally mature response to this is to be happy for them and understand that no ill was done to you just because your parents werent rich and you had to earn every penny yourself. The hate for trust funders and old money types on here is just very predictable and frankly embarrassing. Envy is such a bad look

Factually, most generational wealth is squandered in 3 generations.

The stats are 60% is lost by the 2nd generation and 90% by the 3rd.

Who cares? Some will keep it, some won't. Some of these old money families are several generations deep, and have a wealth of social connections worth their weight in gold. It will be up to their descendants to maintain things, same for the new rich couples, which probably have a much higher likelihood of raising drug addict silly wastrels considering they dont have many generations used to having money.

Not quite what the stats show. Time and time again the first generation works hard and is highly successful. Second generation watched them work hard so has a sense of money and manages things ok. Third generation is spoiled and entitled and that is the end of the wealth in 90% of situations.

Except by the time youre dealing with true old money families, theyve surpassed that stat and through clever money management, passing down an attitude of frugality and conservatism, and connections, theyve managed to keep the money flowing for generations. Escaping that particular familial curse. The new money families are the ones who should be concerned about it.

And after all, if running out of money is an inevitability, according to your philosophy- time's gonna catch up with the new money strivers as well, so who cares whether it's in two or three generations? After all, it's just a matter of time for both, so why feel smug about a few extra years? How is that a win?

I find it comical when someone mentions true "old money" families and yet here we are implying there are tons living amongst us in the CC DC area where the median house price is like $1.1MM. Somehow they employ clever money management techniques and keep the money flowing...I guess by living in the house they paid $100k for 45 years ago, which they don't renovate (or I guess they inherited).

Sure, there are families living in Georgetown, Massachusetts Heights and other areas where old-money people would live.

I guess this is like those boxed-wine commercials from the 1980s where the super-wealthy person has the tagline "how do you think I got so rich" when serving their guests boxed wine.

I find it comical you think there are no old money families in Chevy Chase, when in fact it's KNOWN for being old money. Just because youre not aware of that, or have some kind of comical, caricature esque image of old money that you got from a Baz Luhrmann film, doesnt mean they dont exist.

Chevy Chase, DC is known WHERE? for being old money. You talked about wealth existing for centuries...so it kind of requires the neighborhood to have existed for centuries, doesn't it? The first homes were constructed in 1890s on the MD side and like 99% of the area was built from 1920+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips.
I'm so jealous.
They really have the perfect set up.

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

I'm. So. Jealous.

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.
2. Those who feel bitter & resentful because they'll never receive those same privileges AND
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself.

Exactly. It's so transparent. Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into. The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic

I don’t think OP is seething. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all. People without purpose pick up bad habits.

Having a built in childhood social circle of other downwardly mobile nepo babies is not the advantage you think it is. I say this as part of one of these families. There is a lot of riding on coattails and fighting for attention and money from mom and dad. A lot of failed artists, substance abuse, and finally falling into middling careers after a lifetime of being propped up by mom and dad. Lots of entitlement (which will probably be even stronger in the next generation) and very rarely an ability to hustle and create value. And what is this obsession with country clubs? How insecure this PP must be to keep referencing country clubs and parties like she is in some F Scott Fitzgerald novel. You are the voice of a dying empire. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips.
I'm so jealous.
They really have the perfect set up.

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

I'm. So. Jealous.

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.
2. Those who feel bitter & resentful because they'll never receive those same privileges AND
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself.

Exactly. It's so transparent. Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into. The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic

I don’t think OP is seething. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all. People without purpose pick up bad habits.

I think they are. Because the harsh reality is, there's nothing trainwreck about a guy with an easy non-profit job and a trust fund living a great life in a nice Chevy Chase or Kalorama with his family. There's nothing trainwreck about belonging to a tony country or university club and socializing (and getting valuable connections) with your boarding school buddies. It can be infuriating and enraging to watch these people get handed all the things so many others have worked so hard for, striven their whole lives for. And these guys just get it handed to them on a silver platter, with a maddening insouciance that makes it even worse.

Ooo yeah, this is me. I’m not a train wreck and I haven’t squandered anything. I’m pretty responsible! Never been fired, arrested, genuinely pretty good at my job, etc etc. I just have like, $5m than I’ve earned and that’s not even counting any of the tuition etc. AND I have dramatically different retirement requirements, which really frees us to take entrepreneurial risks and do things like have a SAHP for a while.

I guess we’ll all get cancer?

Right. Which is probably the much more common story than the boozing drug addict trust fund kid who ruins their life because their parents paid for college. The unfair reality is that some people have a lot more advantages and get a lot of help in life. The emotionally mature response to this is to be happy for them and understand that no ill was done to you just because your parents werent rich and you had to earn every penny yourself. The hate for trust funders and old money types on here is just very predictable and frankly embarrassing. Envy is such a bad look

Factually, most generational wealth is squandered in 3 generations.

The stats are 60% is lost by the 2nd generation and 90% by the 3rd.

Who cares? Some will keep it, some won't. Some of these old money families are several generations deep, and have a wealth of social connections worth their weight in gold. It will be up to their descendants to maintain things, same for the new rich couples, which probably have a much higher likelihood of raising drug addict silly wastrels considering they dont have many generations used to having money.

Not quite what the stats show. Time and time again the first generation works hard and is highly successful. Second generation watched them work hard so has a sense of money and manages things ok. Third generation is spoiled and entitled and that is the end of the wealth in 90% of situations.

Except by the time youre dealing with true old money families, theyve surpassed that stat and through clever money management, passing down an attitude of frugality and conservatism, and connections, theyve managed to keep the money flowing for generations. Escaping that particular familial curse. The new money families are the ones who should be concerned about it.

And after all, if running out of money is an inevitability, according to your philosophy- time's gonna catch up with the new money strivers as well, so who cares whether it's in two or three generations? After all, it's just a matter of time for both, so why feel smug about a few extra years? How is that a win?

I find it comical when someone mentions true "old money" families and yet here we are implying there are tons living amongst us in the CC DC area where the median house price is like $1.1MM. Somehow they employ clever money management techniques and keep the money flowing...I guess by living in the house they paid $100k for 45 years ago, which they don't renovate (or I guess they inherited).

Sure, there are families living in Georgetown, Massachusetts Heights and other areas where old-money people would live.

I guess this is like those boxed-wine commercials from the 1980s where the super-wealthy person has the tagline "how do you think I got so rich" when serving their guests boxed wine.

I find it comical you think there are no old money families in Chevy Chase, when in fact it's KNOWN for being old money. Just because youre not aware of that, or have some kind of comical, caricature esque image of old money that you got from a Baz Luhrmann film, doesnt mean they dont exist.

Chevy Chase, DC is known WHERE? for being old money. You talked about wealth existing for centuries...so it kind of requires the neighborhood to have existed for centuries, doesn't it? The first homes were constructed in 1890s on the MD side and like 99% of the area was built from 1920+.

If you really dont know about Chevy Chase's reputation... then that really says it all about your level of familiarity with that world, which is what makes it so comical you continue to weigh in like you know what you're talking about. Chevy Chase is absolutely known as an old money haven. Most of these families arent living in the exact same houses that were built in 1702, lol. They might move every few generations, sell when they want, settle down in a place they like, pack up and move... just like most people living in say, Cape Cod or Palm Beach, havent lived in the same homes since the 1800s. That doesnt make it any less old money. Stop getting your idea of old money from episodes of Gossip Girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips.
I'm so jealous.
They really have the perfect set up.

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

I'm. So. Jealous.

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.
2. Those who feel bitter & resentful because they'll never receive those same privileges AND
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself.

Exactly. It's so transparent. Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into. The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic

I don’t think OP is seething. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all. People without purpose pick up bad habits.

Having a built in childhood social circle of other downwardly mobile nepo babies is not the advantage you think it is. I say this as part of one of these families. There is a lot of riding on coattails and fighting for attention and money from mom and dad. A lot of failed artists, substance abuse, and finally falling into middling careers after a lifetime of being propped up by mom and dad. Lots of entitlement (which will probably be even stronger in the next generation) and very rarely an ability to hustle and create value. And what is this obsession with country clubs? How insecure this PP must be to keep referencing country clubs and parties like she is in some F Scott Fitzgerald novel. You are the voice of a dying empire. Get over yourself.

I though the country club PP was the one who made the great Gatsby jibe? Are you stealing insults now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips.
I'm so jealous.
They really have the perfect set up.

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

I'm. So. Jealous.

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.
2. Those who feel bitter & resentful because they'll never receive those same privileges AND
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself.

Exactly. It's so transparent. Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into. The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic

I don’t think OP is seething. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all. People without purpose pick up bad habits.

I think they are. Because the harsh reality is, there's nothing trainwreck about a guy with an easy non-profit job and a trust fund living a great life in a nice Chevy Chase or Kalorama with his family. There's nothing trainwreck about belonging to a tony country or university club and socializing (and getting valuable connections) with your boarding school buddies. It can be infuriating and enraging to watch these people get handed all the things so many others have worked so hard for, striven their whole lives for. And these guys just get it handed to them on a silver platter, with a maddening insouciance that makes it even worse.

Ooo yeah, this is me. I’m not a train wreck and I haven’t squandered anything. I’m pretty responsible! Never been fired, arrested, genuinely pretty good at my job, etc etc. I just have like, $5m than I’ve earned and that’s not even counting any of the tuition etc. AND I have dramatically different retirement requirements, which really frees us to take entrepreneurial risks and do things like have a SAHP for a while.

I guess we’ll all get cancer?

So you and your spouse went to Lehigh and Kenyon and now you are a fed and SAHM and you are proud you can take risks like have a SAH parent and a nanny. You are good at your low stress job because it’s so non core to the agency’s mission that no one cares if you have 13 typos in a PPT with six slides. And you drive a Subaru because you are responsible you don’t need to be flashy with all the money you didn’t earn. And you’ve never even been fired or arrested (except for that DWI when you were 27 but that was a mistake and you got out of it because you’re such a great person who also has lots of connections). Wow. You are doing so well. You’ve really made it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips.
I'm so jealous.
They really have the perfect set up.

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

I'm. So. Jealous.

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.
2. Those who feel bitter & resentful because they'll never receive those same privileges AND
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself.

Exactly. It's so transparent. Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into. The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic

I don’t think OP is seething. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all. People without purpose pick up bad habits.

I think they are. Because the harsh reality is, there's nothing trainwreck about a guy with an easy non-profit job and a trust fund living a great life in a nice Chevy Chase or Kalorama with his family. There's nothing trainwreck about belonging to a tony country or university club and socializing (and getting valuable connections) with your boarding school buddies. It can be infuriating and enraging to watch these people get handed all the things so many others have worked so hard for, striven their whole lives for. And these guys just get it handed to them on a silver platter, with a maddening insouciance that makes it even worse.

Ooo yeah, this is me. I’m not a train wreck and I haven’t squandered anything. I’m pretty responsible! Never been fired, arrested, genuinely pretty good at my job, etc etc. I just have like, $5m than I’ve earned and that’s not even counting any of the tuition etc. AND I have dramatically different retirement requirements, which really frees us to take entrepreneurial risks and do things like have a SAHP for a while.

I guess we’ll all get cancer?

Right. Which is probably the much more common story than the boozing drug addict trust fund kid who ruins their life because their parents paid for college. The unfair reality is that some people have a lot more advantages and get a lot of help in life. The emotionally mature response to this is to be happy for them and understand that no ill was done to you just because your parents werent rich and you had to earn every penny yourself. The hate for trust funders and old money types on here is just very predictable and frankly embarrassing. Envy is such a bad look

Factually, most generational wealth is squandered in 3 generations.

The stats are 60% is lost by the 2nd generation and 90% by the 3rd.

Who cares? Some will keep it, some won't. Some of these old money families are several generations deep, and have a wealth of social connections worth their weight in gold. It will be up to their descendants to maintain things, same for the new rich couples, which probably have a much higher likelihood of raising drug addict silly wastrels considering they dont have many generations used to having money.

Not quite what the stats show. Time and time again the first generation works hard and is highly successful. Second generation watched them work hard so has a sense of money and manages things ok. Third generation is spoiled and entitled and that is the end of the wealth in 90% of situations.

Except by the time youre dealing with true old money families, theyve surpassed that stat and through clever money management, passing down an attitude of frugality and conservatism, and connections, theyve managed to keep the money flowing for generations. Escaping that particular familial curse. The new money families are the ones who should be concerned about it.

And after all, if running out of money is an inevitability, according to your philosophy- time's gonna catch up with the new money strivers as well, so who cares whether it's in two or three generations? After all, it's just a matter of time for both, so why feel smug about a few extra years? How is that a win?

I find it comical when someone mentions true "old money" families and yet here we are implying there are tons living amongst us in the CC DC area where the median house price is like $1.1MM. Somehow they employ clever money management techniques and keep the money flowing...I guess by living in the house they paid $100k for 45 years ago, which they don't renovate (or I guess they inherited).

Sure, there are families living in Georgetown, Massachusetts Heights and other areas where old-money people would live.

I guess this is like those boxed-wine commercials from the 1980s where the super-wealthy person has the tagline "how do you think I got so rich" when serving their guests boxed wine.

I find it comical you think there are no old money families in Chevy Chase, when in fact it's KNOWN for being old money. Just because youre not aware of that, or have some kind of comical, caricature esque image of old money that you got from a Baz Luhrmann film, doesnt mean they dont exist.

Chevy Chase, DC is known WHERE? for being old money. You talked about wealth existing for centuries...so it kind of requires the neighborhood to have existed for centuries, doesn't it? The first homes were constructed in 1890s on the MD side and like 99% of the area was built from 1920+.

If you really dont know about Chevy Chase's reputation... then that really says it all about your level of familiarity with that world, which is what makes it so comical you continue to weigh in like you know what you're talking about. Chevy Chase is absolutely known as an old money haven. Most of these families arent living in the exact same houses that were built in 1702, lol. They might move every few generations, sell when they want, settle down in a place they like, pack up and move... just like most people living in say, Cape Cod or Palm Beach, havent lived in the same homes since the 1800s. That doesnt make it any less old money. Stop getting your idea of old money from episodes of Gossip Girl

I went to college with a Van Cortlandt which is about as old as money gets in the US (descendant of some of the original Dutch settlers in NYC).

Her family owned a townhouse in NYC, homes in the Hamptons and elsewhere. That's her branch of the family, which must have been huge.

She didn't live in an area where the median home price is $1.1MM.

There are a number of profiles of "old" money families living in CC MD, but none on anyone in CC DC. Why is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips.
I'm so jealous.
They really have the perfect set up.

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

I'm. So. Jealous.

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.
2. Those who feel bitter & resentful because they'll never receive those same privileges AND
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself.

Exactly. It's so transparent. Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into. The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic

I don’t think OP is seething. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all. People without purpose pick up bad habits.

I think they are. Because the harsh reality is, there's nothing trainwreck about a guy with an easy non-profit job and a trust fund living a great life in a nice Chevy Chase or Kalorama with his family. There's nothing trainwreck about belonging to a tony country or university club and socializing (and getting valuable connections) with your boarding school buddies. It can be infuriating and enraging to watch these people get handed all the things so many others have worked so hard for, striven their whole lives for. And these guys just get it handed to them on a silver platter, with a maddening insouciance that makes it even worse.

Ooo yeah, this is me. I’m not a train wreck and I haven’t squandered anything. I’m pretty responsible! Never been fired, arrested, genuinely pretty good at my job, etc etc. I just have like, $5m than I’ve earned and that’s not even counting any of the tuition etc. AND I have dramatically different retirement requirements, which really frees us to take entrepreneurial risks and do things like have a SAHP for a while.

I guess we’ll all get cancer?

Right. Which is probably the much more common story than the boozing drug addict trust fund kid who ruins their life because their parents paid for college. The unfair reality is that some people have a lot more advantages and get a lot of help in life. The emotionally mature response to this is to be happy for them and understand that no ill was done to you just because your parents werent rich and you had to earn every penny yourself. The hate for trust funders and old money types on here is just very predictable and frankly embarrassing. Envy is such a bad look

Factually, most generational wealth is squandered in 3 generations.

The stats are 60% is lost by the 2nd generation and 90% by the 3rd.

Who cares? Some will keep it, some won't. Some of these old money families are several generations deep, and have a wealth of social connections worth their weight in gold. It will be up to their descendants to maintain things, same for the new rich couples, which probably have a much higher likelihood of raising drug addict silly wastrels considering they dont have many generations used to having money.

Not quite what the stats show. Time and time again the first generation works hard and is highly successful. Second generation watched them work hard so has a sense of money and manages things ok. Third generation is spoiled and entitled and that is the end of the wealth in 90% of situations.

Except by the time youre dealing with true old money families, theyve surpassed that stat and through clever money management, passing down an attitude of frugality and conservatism, and connections, theyve managed to keep the money flowing for generations. Escaping that particular familial curse. The new money families are the ones who should be concerned about it.

And after all, if running out of money is an inevitability, according to your philosophy- time's gonna catch up with the new money strivers as well, so who cares whether it's in two or three generations? After all, it's just a matter of time for both, so why feel smug about a few extra years? How is that a win?

I find it comical when someone mentions true "old money" families and yet here we are implying there are tons living amongst us in the CC DC area where the median house price is like $1.1MM. Somehow they employ clever money management techniques and keep the money flowing...I guess by living in the house they paid $100k for 45 years ago, which they don't renovate (or I guess they inherited).

Sure, there are families living in Georgetown, Massachusetts Heights and other areas where old-money people would live.

I guess this is like those boxed-wine commercials from the 1980s where the super-wealthy person has the tagline "how do you think I got so rich" when serving their guests boxed wine.

I find it comical you think there are no old money families in Chevy Chase, when in fact it's KNOWN for being old money. Just because youre not aware of that, or have some kind of comical, caricature esque image of old money that you got from a Baz Luhrmann film, doesnt mean they dont exist.

Chevy Chase, DC is known WHERE? for being old money. You talked about wealth existing for centuries...so it kind of requires the neighborhood to have existed for centuries, doesn't it? The first homes were constructed in 1890s on the MD side and like 99% of the area was built from 1920+.

If you really dont know about Chevy Chase's reputation... then that really says it all about your level of familiarity with that world, which is what makes it so comical you continue to weigh in like you know what you're talking about. Chevy Chase is absolutely known as an old money haven. Most of these families arent living in the exact same houses that were built in 1702, lol. They might move every few generations, sell when they want, settle down in a place they like, pack up and move... just like most people living in say, Cape Cod or Palm Beach, havent lived in the same homes since the 1800s. That doesnt make it any less old money. Stop getting your idea of old money from episodes of Gossip Girl

I went to college with a Van Cortlandt which is about as old as money gets in the US (descendant of some of the original Dutch settlers in NYC).

Her family owned a townhouse in NYC, homes in the Hamptons and elsewhere. That's her branch of the family, which must have been huge.

She didn't live in an area where the median home price is $1.1MM.

There are a number of profiles of "old" money families living in CC MD, but none on anyone in CC DC. Why is that?

It's almost like there's... multiple ways of being old money, and not just one single old money family in the entire United States? How utterly clueless and provincial you sound. It's actually hard to believe youre serious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips.
I'm so jealous.
They really have the perfect set up.

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

I'm. So. Jealous.

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.
2. Those who feel bitter & resentful because they'll never receive those same privileges AND
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself.

Exactly. It's so transparent. Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into. The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic

I don’t think OP is seething. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all. People without purpose pick up bad habits.

I think they are. Because the harsh reality is, there's nothing trainwreck about a guy with an easy non-profit job and a trust fund living a great life in a nice Chevy Chase or Kalorama with his family. There's nothing trainwreck about belonging to a tony country or university club and socializing (and getting valuable connections) with your boarding school buddies. It can be infuriating and enraging to watch these people get handed all the things so many others have worked so hard for, striven their whole lives for. And these guys just get it handed to them on a silver platter, with a maddening insouciance that makes it even worse.

Ooo yeah, this is me. I’m not a train wreck and I haven’t squandered anything. I’m pretty responsible! Never been fired, arrested, genuinely pretty good at my job, etc etc. I just have like, $5m than I’ve earned and that’s not even counting any of the tuition etc. AND I have dramatically different retirement requirements, which really frees us to take entrepreneurial risks and do things like have a SAHP for a while.

I guess we’ll all get cancer?

So you and your spouse went to Lehigh and Kenyon and now you are a fed and SAHM and you are proud you can take risks like have a SAH parent and a nanny. You are good at your low stress job because it’s so non core to the agency’s mission that no one cares if you have 13 typos in a PPT with six slides. And you drive a Subaru because you are responsible you don’t need to be flashy with all the money you didn’t earn. And you’ve never even been fired or arrested (except for that DWI when you were 27 but that was a mistake and you got out of it because you’re such a great person who also has lots of connections). Wow. You are doing so well. You’ve really made it!

Not the PP but why are you so incredibly bitter and angry? Is it because no one is impressed by your striving and it irritates you that you've worked so damn hard and yet have achieved the same things in life, ultimately, as the easy, chilled out old money trust fund kid who coasted through Choate and went to a liberal arts college? And no matter how much you and your big law spouse have white knuckled everything, worked nights, and pushed and prodded and forced your way into spaces, you'll never be taken as seriously or accepted in the way the PP who grew up in that world will be? It's so very bad and bitter. This is why no one wants to be around you

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips.
I'm so jealous.
They really have the perfect set up.

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

I'm. So. Jealous.

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.
2. Those who feel bitter & resentful because they'll never receive those same privileges AND
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself.

Exactly. It's so transparent. Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into. The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic

I don’t think OP is seething. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all. People without purpose pick up bad habits.

I think they are. Because the harsh reality is, there's nothing trainwreck about a guy with an easy non-profit job and a trust fund living a great life in a nice Chevy Chase or Kalorama with his family. There's nothing trainwreck about belonging to a tony country or university club and socializing (and getting valuable connections) with your boarding school buddies. It can be infuriating and enraging to watch these people get handed all the things so many others have worked so hard for, striven their whole lives for. And these guys just get it handed to them on a silver platter, with a maddening insouciance that makes it even worse.

Ooo yeah, this is me. I’m not a train wreck and I haven’t squandered anything. I’m pretty responsible! Never been fired, arrested, genuinely pretty good at my job, etc etc. I just have like, $5m than I’ve earned and that’s not even counting any of the tuition etc. AND I have dramatically different retirement requirements, which really frees us to take entrepreneurial risks and do things like have a SAHP for a while.

I guess we’ll all get cancer?

Right. Which is probably the much more common story than the boozing drug addict trust fund kid who ruins their life because their parents paid for college. The unfair reality is that some people have a lot more advantages and get a lot of help in life. The emotionally mature response to this is to be happy for them and understand that no ill was done to you just because your parents werent rich and you had to earn every penny yourself. The hate for trust funders and old money types on here is just very predictable and frankly embarrassing. Envy is such a bad look

Factually, most generational wealth is squandered in 3 generations.

The stats are 60% is lost by the 2nd generation and 90% by the 3rd.

Who cares? Some will keep it, some won't. Some of these old money families are several generations deep, and have a wealth of social connections worth their weight in gold. It will be up to their descendants to maintain things, same for the new rich couples, which probably have a much higher likelihood of raising drug addict silly wastrels considering they dont have many generations used to having money.

Not quite what the stats show. Time and time again the first generation works hard and is highly successful. Second generation watched them work hard so has a sense of money and manages things ok. Third generation is spoiled and entitled and that is the end of the wealth in 90% of situations.

Except by the time youre dealing with true old money families, theyve surpassed that stat and through clever money management, passing down an attitude of frugality and conservatism, and connections, theyve managed to keep the money flowing for generations. Escaping that particular familial curse. The new money families are the ones who should be concerned about it.

And after all, if running out of money is an inevitability, according to your philosophy- time's gonna catch up with the new money strivers as well, so who cares whether it's in two or three generations? After all, it's just a matter of time for both, so why feel smug about a few extra years? How is that a win?

I find it comical when someone mentions true "old money" families and yet here we are implying there are tons living amongst us in the CC DC area where the median house price is like $1.1MM. Somehow they employ clever money management techniques and keep the money flowing...I guess by living in the house they paid $100k for 45 years ago, which they don't renovate (or I guess they inherited).

Sure, there are families living in Georgetown, Massachusetts Heights and other areas where old-money people would live.

I guess this is like those boxed-wine commercials from the 1980s where the super-wealthy person has the tagline "how do you think I got so rich" when serving their guests boxed wine.

I find it comical you think there are no old money families in Chevy Chase, when in fact it's KNOWN for being old money. Just because youre not aware of that, or have some kind of comical, caricature esque image of old money that you got from a Baz Luhrmann film, doesnt mean they dont exist.

Chevy Chase, DC is known WHERE? for being old money. You talked about wealth existing for centuries...so it kind of requires the neighborhood to have existed for centuries, doesn't it? The first homes were constructed in 1890s on the MD side and like 99% of the area was built from 1920+.

If you really dont know about Chevy Chase's reputation... then that really says it all about your level of familiarity with that world, which is what makes it so comical you continue to weigh in like you know what you're talking about. Chevy Chase is absolutely known as an old money haven. Most of these families arent living in the exact same houses that were built in 1702, lol. They might move every few generations, sell when they want, settle down in a place they like, pack up and move... just like most people living in say, Cape Cod or Palm Beach, havent lived in the same homes since the 1800s. That doesnt make it any less old money. Stop getting your idea of old money from episodes of Gossip Girl

I went to college with a Van Cortlandt which is about as old as money gets in the US (descendant of some of the original Dutch settlers in NYC).

Her family owned a townhouse in NYC, homes in the Hamptons and elsewhere. That's her branch of the family, which must have been huge.

She didn't live in an area where the median home price is $1.1MM.

There are a number of profiles of "old" money families living in CC MD, but none on anyone in CC DC. Why is that?

It's almost like there's... multiple ways of being old money, and not just one single old money family in the entire United States? How utterly clueless and provincial you sound. It's actually hard to believe youre serious

No...I just think you have a very small definition of "old money", that's not very large. You can't produce one iota of evidence to back up any of your claims...nothing showing the average net worth of CC DC is somehow outsized, no profiles on anyone that lives here, nothing.

Until you produce something tangible, everything you say is just trash.

[Anonymous]

Every "old money" family needed the initial striver to create that old money from the start.

Everyone understands that, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips.
I'm so jealous.
They really have the perfect set up.

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

I'm. So. Jealous.

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.
2. Those who feel bitter & resentful because they'll never receive those same privileges AND
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself.

Exactly. It's so transparent. Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into. The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic

I don’t think OP is seething. It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck. My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all. People without purpose pick up bad habits.

I think they are. Because the harsh reality is, there's nothing trainwreck about a guy with an easy non-profit job and a trust fund living a great life in a nice Chevy Chase or Kalorama with his family. There's nothing trainwreck about belonging to a tony country or university club and socializing (and getting valuable connections) with your boarding school buddies. It can be infuriating and enraging to watch these people get handed all the things so many others have worked so hard for, striven their whole lives for. And these guys just get it handed to them on a silver platter, with a maddening insouciance that makes it even worse.

Ooo yeah, this is me. I’m not a train wreck and I haven’t squandered anything. I’m pretty responsible! Never been fired, arrested, genuinely pretty good at my job, etc etc. I just have like, $5m than I’ve earned and that’s not even counting any of the tuition etc. AND I have dramatically different retirement requirements, which really frees us to take entrepreneurial risks and do things like have a SAHP for a while.

I guess we’ll all get cancer?

Right. Which is probably the much more common story than the boozing drug addict trust fund kid who ruins their life because their parents paid for college. The unfair reality is that some people have a lot more advantages and get a lot of help in life. The emotionally mature response to this is to be happy for them and understand that no ill was done to you just because your parents werent rich and you had to earn every penny yourself. The hate for trust funders and old money types on here is just very predictable and frankly embarrassing. Envy is such a bad look

Factually, most generational wealth is squandered in 3 generations.

The stats are 60% is lost by the 2nd generation and 90% by the 3rd.

Who cares? Some will keep it, some won't. Some of these old money families are several generations deep, and have a wealth of social connections worth their weight in gold. It will be up to their descendants to maintain things, same for the new rich couples, which probably have a much higher likelihood of raising drug addict silly wastrels considering they dont have many generations used to having money.

Not quite what the stats show. Time and time again the first generation works hard and is highly successful. Second generation watched them work hard so has a sense of money and manages things ok. Third generation is spoiled and entitled and that is the end of the wealth in 90% of situations.

Except by the time youre dealing with true old money families, theyve surpassed that stat and through clever money management, passing down an attitude of frugality and conservatism, and connections, theyve managed to keep the money flowing for generations. Escaping that particular familial curse. The new money families are the ones who should be concerned about it.

And after all, if running out of money is an inevitability, according to your philosophy- time's gonna catch up with the new money strivers as well, so who cares whether it's in two or three generations? After all, it's just a matter of time for both, so why feel smug about a few extra years? How is that a win?

I find it comical when someone mentions true "old money" families and yet here we are implying there are tons living amongst us in the CC DC area where the median house price is like $1.1MM. Somehow they employ clever money management techniques and keep the money flowing...I guess by living in the house they paid $100k for 45 years ago, which they don't renovate (or I guess they inherited).

Sure, there are families living in Georgetown, Massachusetts Heights and other areas where old-money people would live.

I guess this is like those boxed-wine commercials from the 1980s where the super-wealthy person has the tagline "how do you think I got so rich" when serving their guests boxed wine.

I find it comical you think there are no old money families in Chevy Chase, when in fact it's KNOWN for being old money. Just because youre not aware of that, or have some kind of comical, caricature esque image of old money that you got from a Baz Luhrmann film, doesnt mean they dont exist.

Chevy Chase, DC is known WHERE? for being old money. You talked about wealth existing for centuries...so it kind of requires the neighborhood to have existed for centuries, doesn't it? The first homes were constructed in 1890s on the MD side and like 99% of the area was built from 1920+.

If you really dont know about Chevy Chase's reputation... then that really says it all about your level of familiarity with that world, which is what makes it so comical you continue to weigh in like you know what you're talking about. Chevy Chase is absolutely known as an old money haven. Most of these families arent living in the exact same houses that were built in 1702, lol. They might move every few generations, sell when they want, settle down in a place they like, pack up and move... just like most people living in say, Cape Cod or Palm Beach, havent lived in the same homes since the 1800s. That doesnt make it any less old money. Stop getting your idea of old money from episodes of Gossip Girl

I went to college with a Van Cortlandt which is about as old as money gets in the US (descendant of some of the original Dutch settlers in NYC).

Her family owned a townhouse in NYC, homes in the Hamptons and elsewhere. That's her branch of the family, which must have been huge.

She didn't live in an area where the median home price is $1.1MM.

There are a number of profiles of "old" money families living in CC MD, but none on anyone in CC DC. Why is that?

It's almost like there's... multiple ways of being old money, and not just one single old money family in the entire United States? How utterly clueless and provincial you sound. It's actually hard to believe youre serious

No...I just think you have a very small definition of "old money", that's not very large. You can't produce one iota of evidence to back up any of your claims...nothing showing the average net worth of CC DC is somehow outsized, no profiles on anyone that lives here, nothing.

Until you produce something tangible, everything you say is just trash.

"One iota of evidence" lol. First of all, this is a message board, not my college thesis. If you are insane enough to believe there's no old money people in Chevy Chase, I'd much rather see you continue with that particular delusion, hopefully dropping said assertion at a dinner party with some people in the know (not that youd ever be invited to these things) so they can be inwardly amused.
Second of all, what exact "evidence" would even exist? The names and addresses of old money families? I'm not about to dox a bunch of private citizens so you can be proven wrong on an internet forum. If you're not aware, you're not meant to be, and that's certainly how they'd prefer it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every "old money" family needed the initial striver to create that old money from the start.

Everyone understands that, right?

Some old money families have always had money, or at least for hundreds of years.

But it's the new money families that will be living out the curse PP has stated multiple times, wherein the money is burned through in 3 generations.