Shocked at how many families in nice DMV neighborhoods are living in relatives' homes

[Anonymous]

Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

[Anonymous]

So what?

[Anonymous]

How does this affect you? If those elderly people put their house on the market, it would be another $1m++ house that you couldn’t afford anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what?

People beat themselves over the head for not being able to afford homes in good school districts with reasonable commutes. They are often not aware of the advantages other people who do it, have. It's a good thing to know.

[Anonymous]

I’m confused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

How does this "shut out" someone else?

[Anonymous]

I will never sell my house in MoCo. When we retire, I will keep the house and have one of my adult children live in it. Financially it doesn't make sense to sell.

[Anonymous]

This can be a win-win for families with elderly parents. Cheaper than paying for care when parents can still help, and cheaper for elder care when parents need help.

We have 3 families that have had a middle aged son move in, but in these cases the men are all divorced and 2 have health problems with the elderly parents providing the support.

[Anonymous]

Yes this is common -- we live on the Hill and know several families who can only afford to live here because they are living in a parent or grandparent's home that was purchased for like 20 decades ago. It doesn't upset me -- it means there are more people here with our similiar finances and it also means they don't look down on us for living in a condo instead of a row home because neither of us can actually afford the row home.

If it seemed like they were beng smug about it I guess it would bother me but at least in our case people are not and recognize that if they didn't have this good fortune they could not afford to live here.

[Anonymous]

I've been living close to downtown Bethesda for more than 10 years, know hundreds of people from elementary, middle and high schools in the area because my kids are older teens, and NO, this is not a common occurrence, OP.

Why are you so obsessed with other people's living arrangements? We have no family help or high salaries, yet I have zero issues with the people who do. DH and I will be the generation who helps their children. If you have money, you'll do the same for your children. See how that works? Why is it a problem when others do it, but not when you do it?

Your jealousy is making you really stupid.

[Anonymous]

There are a LOT of people in this area who get help from their families, whether it's being able to live in the family home for free (or reduced rent), or being able to send their kids to private school on the grandparents' dime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes this is common -- we live on the Hill and know several families who can only afford to live here because they are living in a parent or grandparent's home that was purchased for like 20 decades ago. It doesn't upset me -- it means there are more people here with our similiar finances and it also means they don't look down on us for living in a condo instead of a row home because neither of us can actually afford the row home.

If it seemed like they were beng smug about it I guess it would bother me but at least in our case people are not and recognize that if they didn't have this good fortune they could not afford to live here.

This here. We've made many mixed housing type communities illegal to zoning. I'd love to make our home into a duplex for grandparents and us. But we can't. So we do this instead.

[Anonymous]

When you have parents in their 60s or 70s with a good amount of money it is natural for them to want their children and grandchildren to live in a nice home in a nice school district. How that manifests itself differs but if an older couple owns their home outright and want to downsize, renting it to their child could make a lot of sense. It becomes a real estate investment and if it’s in a good school district the grandchildren win.

[Anonymous]

Same in our neighborhood. We have multiple families who live in the same house with their parents and their own children (so three generations). The grandparents pay for and own the house. Then there are multiple families living in a house paid for by their parents who don’t live there but basically gifted it to them. These families all go to the expensive country club that their parents joined years ago and act very superior. Something about these rich country club people raising spoiled lazy kids who marry freeloaders that are after the family money.

[Anonymous]

We lived in my grandmother's house but we bought it from her. And it was a split level that has since been torn down so not not a glamorous house at all.