Reply to Shocked at how many families in nice DMV neighborhoods are living in relatives' homes

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

[/quote]

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips. 
[b]I'm so jealous. [/b]
They really have the perfect set up. [/quote]

With just three simple words, this PP has managed to encapsulate the OP's feelings -- resentment, bitterness and envy.

[b]I'm. So. Jealous. [/b]

Envy is such an incredibly unattractive trait, as it conveys to the world that you've chosen to become rooted in bitterness, resentment, inferiority, and insecurity.

This post is predictable.

They always find a way to blame someone else for their own inadequacies & shortcomings, because they've deluded themselves into believing that life isn't fair.
They MUST live their lives as perpetual victims of unfairness & injustice⁸⁰.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the goal of this entire post?

It seemed like the OP was positively giddy for her GOTCHA! moment, in trying to expose the so-called "secrets" of legacy real estate in the DMV area (aka; inheretences of the rich & privileged).  
However, it seems painfully obvious that OP was probably the only one who didn't know that the DMV has always been ripe with real estate legacies, and the three kind of people who react to them:

1. Those who get labeled entitled for having the benefit of legacy/nepo inheritances.  
2.  Those who feel bitter & resentful because [i]they'll[/i] never receive those same privileges [i]AND[/i] 
3. Those who are happy for anyone who is fortunate enough to own their home... no matter how they got it.

Stop worrying so much about what other people have and how they got it.
Focus on yourself. [/quote]

Exactly. It's so transparent.  Especially because said legacy/inheriting families will often have other advantages, like a built in-childhood social circle that the OP could never buy their way into.  The world is unfair but seething over someone else getting blessings from their parents is truly pathetic[/quote]

I don’t think OP is seething.  It’s like watching a slow motion train wreck.  My husband’s family was like this - all ivy educated society Mayflower types then a generation full of spending, alcohol and drugs squandered it all.  People without purpose pick up bad habits.  [/quote]

I think they are. Because the harsh reality is, there's nothing trainwreck about a guy with an easy non-profit job and a trust fund living a great life in a nice Chevy Chase or Kalorama with his family.  There's nothing trainwreck about belonging to a tony country or university club and socializing (and getting valuable connections) with your boarding school buddies. It can be infuriating and enraging to watch these people get handed all the things so many others have worked so hard for, striven their whole lives for.  And these guys just get it handed to them on a silver platter, with a maddening insouciance that makes it even worse.  [/quote]

Ooo yeah, this is me. I’m not a train wreck and I haven’t squandered anything. I’m pretty responsible! Never been fired, arrested, genuinely pretty good at my job, etc etc. I just have like, $5m than I’ve earned and that’s not even counting any of the tuition etc. AND I have dramatically different retirement requirements, which really frees us to take entrepreneurial risks and do things like have a SAHP for a while.

I guess we’ll all get cancer?

[/quote]

Right. Which is probably the much more common story than the boozing drug addict trust fund kid who ruins their life because their parents paid for college. The unfair reality is that some people have a lot more advantages and get a lot of help in life.  The emotionally mature response to this is to be happy for them and understand that no ill was done to you just because your parents werent rich and you had to earn every penny yourself. The hate for trust funders and old money types on here is just very predictable and frankly embarrassing. Envy is such a bad look[/quote]

Factually, most generational wealth is squandered in 3 generations.

The stats are 60% is lost by the 2nd generation and 90% by the 3rd.

[/quote]

Who cares?  Some will keep it, some won't. Some of these old money families are several generations deep, and have a wealth of social connections worth their weight in gold.  It will be up to their descendants to maintain things, same for the new rich couples, which probably have a much higher likelihood of raising drug addict silly wastrels considering they dont have many generations used to having money.[/quote]

Not quite what the stats show.  Time and time again the first generation works hard and is highly successful.  Second generation watched them work hard so has a sense of money and manages things ok.  Third generation is spoiled and entitled and that is the end of the wealth in 90% of situations.   [/quote]

Except by the time youre dealing with true old money families, theyve surpassed that stat and through clever money management, passing down an attitude of frugality and conservatism, and connections, theyve managed to keep the money flowing for generations.  Escaping that particular familial curse.  The new money families are the ones who should be concerned about it.

And after all, if running out of money is an inevitability, according to your philosophy- time's gonna catch up with the new money strivers as well, so who cares whether it's in two or three generations?  After all, it's just a matter of time for both, so why feel smug about a few extra years?  How is that a win? [/quote]

I find it comical when someone mentions true "old money" families and yet here we are implying there are tons living amongst us in the CC DC area where the median house price is like $1.1MM.  Somehow they employ clever money management techniques and keep the money flowing...I guess by living in the house they paid $100k for 45 years ago, which they don't renovate (or I guess they inherited).

Sure, there are families living in Georgetown, Massachusetts Heights and other areas where old-money people would live.

I guess this is like those boxed-wine commercials from the 1980s where the super-wealthy person has the tagline "how do you think I got so rich" when serving their guests boxed wine.[/quote]

I find it comical you think there are no old money families in Chevy Chase, when in fact it's KNOWN for being old money.  Just because youre not aware of that, or have some kind of comical, caricature esque image of old money that you got from a Baz Luhrmann film, doesnt mean they dont exist.[/quote]

Chevy Chase, DC is known WHERE? for being old money.  You talked about wealth existing for centuries...so it kind of requires the neighborhood to have existed for centuries, doesn't it?  The first homes were constructed in 1890s on the MD side and like 99% of the area was built from 1920+.[/quote]
If you really dont know about Chevy Chase's reputation... then that really says it all about your level of familiarity with that world, which is what makes it so comical you continue to weigh in like you know what you're talking about.  Chevy Chase is absolutely known as an old money haven. Most of these families arent living in the exact same houses that were built in 1702, lol.  They might move every few generations, sell when they want, settle down in a place they like, pack up and move... just like most people living in say, Cape Cod or Palm Beach, havent lived in the same homes since the 1800s. That doesnt make it any less old money.  Stop getting your idea of old money from episodes of Gossip Girl [/quote]

I went to college with a Van Cortlandt which is about as old as money gets in the US (descendant of some of the original Dutch settlers in NYC).

Her family owned a townhouse in NYC, homes in the Hamptons and elsewhere.  That's her branch of the family, which must have been huge.

She didn't live in an area where the median home price is $1.1MM.

There are a number of profiles of "old" money families living in CC MD, but none on anyone in CC DC.  Why is that?[/quote]

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