If women could go back in time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But what did that teach children’s about women’s capabilities? And how many women stayed with abusive or philandering men because they were entirely dependent on them?

Why is your question only posed to women? Do modern nen like having the option of being more involved in raising their children? Do children like spending time with both parents?

What do you think you’re teaching your children with the constant messaging that a woman prioritizing taking care of her own kids is basically a useless loser?

Often it has nothing to do with capabilities, but priorities. But sure, make sure Larla knows that you’d rather be working on yet another powerpoint about synergy than playing candyland with her. You’re a modern woman and kids are just an accessory!

You sound like such a defensive SAHM. I think there are advantages to women and children if both parents work. I did not use the hyperbolic language you felt the need to employ.

You views are extremely sexist. Why is a woman required to prioritize child-rearing, but not a man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Would they still fight for workforce accessibility/equality or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job and not seeing their kids grow up? Did it provide the happiness it promised?

Saw this question being asked and I know what I would choose

You realize that when a woman stays home her partner has to work longer hours to support her lifestyle, right? By your own logic, partners to a SAHM don't see their children grow up either and yet I never see anyone asking similar questions to men as if their time with children doesn't seem to be equally important.

I also think you've got a rosy view of the past. Even though most women stayed home they didn't live like wealthy housewives do today because most of them were married or average earning men who had to work very long hours while the wife did manual unpaid labor at home and did not have much quality time for her children. I'd be a working woman today a d share childcare with my husband.

DP but the bolded is not a factual statement.

It's still a relevant statement. If a woman who works doesn't see her children, neither does a man who works, so why questions like this are only directed to women?

Men are not working different/longer hours whether their wives stay at home with the kids or not. It's a stupid argument. Men get to spend exactly the amount of hour with their kids that they want to. They have choices that women do not.

If a woman is earning a good income, then the husband has more of a choice to take a job with more flexibility that may have lower pay. Of course he may not choose to do that, but with the wife working it’s more of an option.

The point is that he almost never chooses to do that.

Women could also choose not to reduce their hours. And in my experience that forces men to step up as fathers. Many men don't make those choices because they are used to see women picking up their slack.

Lol.

Ask anyone with a narc, misogynist, unmanaged adhd or asd husband what happens when the functional adult checks out at home as well.

That game of chicken dont end well. In fact it never ends

I'm pretty sure good responsible men don't suddenly develop undesireable traits, which begs the question: why do some women marry, reproduce and stay with them despite their many shortcomings?

Because we become best friends and fall in love.
Most women aren’t soulless vampires looking for the optimal mate.

Well adjusted women don't fall in love with irresponsible narcs or in the very least don't tolerate bad behavior from men. It's one thing to have an imperfect husband, but putting up with personality disorders and chronic irresponsibility is a sign that the woman herself has issues.

[Anonymous]

I worked full time, pulled down $500k, even with two kids under two. AND ran the fundraiser at my kids preschool. By the time the kids were in middle school I was the manager of a well known rock band who toured 4 continents in 2020. I didn't miss a single soccer practice and planned snacks for all the games.
My husband gets $$ every four days and my taxes are filed early. I have a thigh gap of 1.75 inches that I have professionally measured by a model scout every quarter.
My average rate of return on my day trading portfolio is 20%, and I know how to make bread from scratch. Fu$$ all y'all. I win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate such stupid questions.

Not all women are mothers. Not all mothers want to stay home. Those mothers that do want to stay home, still can.

+1

Now you have the choice - which was the power we gained. No, I don’t think we should give that up.

It’s a choice in theory, for women who marry high earning men that support them staying home. That’s a very small portion of men, and most women have to work whether they want to or not.

Agree. Two income family is now the norm, prices for everything are high, the culture of organized activities ($$$) has increased, there are not many parttime jobs for women. A woman choosing to stay home or work part-time is not so accessible these days.

It may be “the norm” (over 50%) but I think you are underestimating how many UMC families have a non working parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked full time, pulled down $500k, even with two kids under two. AND ran the fundraiser at my kids preschool. By the time the kids were in middle school I was the manager of a well known rock band who toured 4 continents in 2020. I didn't miss a single soccer practice and planned snacks for all the games.
My husband gets $$ every four days and my taxes are filed early. I have a thigh gap of 1.75 inches that I have professionally measured by a model scout every quarter.
My average rate of return on my day trading portfolio is 20%, and I know how to make bread from scratch. Fu$$ all y'all. I win.

cool, let's catch up at Davos next time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would they still fight for workforce accessibility/equality or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job and not seeing their kids grow up? Did it provide the happiness it promised?

Saw this question being asked and I know what I would choose

You realize that when a woman stays home her partner has to work longer hours to support her lifestyle, right? By your own logic, partners to a SAHM don't see their children grow up either and yet I never see anyone asking similar questions to men as if their time with children doesn't seem to be equally important.

I also think you've got a rosy view of the past. Even though most women stayed home they didn't live like wealthy housewives do today because most of them were married or average earning men who had to work very long hours while the wife did manual unpaid labor at home and did not have much quality time for her children. I'd be a working woman today a d share childcare with my husband.

DP but the bolded is not a factual statement.

It's still a relevant statement. If a woman who works doesn't see her children, neither does a man who works, so why questions like this are only directed to women?

Men are not working different/longer hours whether their wives stay at home with the kids or not. It's a stupid argument. Men get to spend exactly the amount of hour with their kids that they want to. They have choices that women do not.

If a woman is earning a good income, then the husband has more of a choice to take a job with more flexibility that may have lower pay. Of course he may not choose to do that, but with the wife working it’s more of an option.

The point is that he almost never chooses to do that.

Women could also choose not to reduce their hours. And in my experience that forces men to step up as fathers. Many men don't make those choices because they are used to see women picking up their slack.

This argument is the problem. Men don’t naturally want to pick up more childcare. Women do. Why? Because women aren’t the same as men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked full time, pulled down $500k, even with two kids under two. AND ran the fundraiser at my kids preschool. By the time the kids were in middle school I was the manager of a well known rock band who toured 4 continents in 2020. I didn't miss a single soccer practice and planned snacks for all the games.
My husband gets $$ every four days and my taxes are filed early. I have a thigh gap of 1.75 inches that I have professionally measured by a model scout every quarter.
My average rate of return on my day trading portfolio is 20%, and I know how to make bread from scratch. Fu$$ all y'all. I win.

Sure, Jan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would they still fight for workforce accessibility/equality or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job and not seeing their kids grow up? Did it provide the happiness it promised?

Saw this question being asked and I know what I would choose

You realize that when a woman stays home her partner has to work longer hours to support her lifestyle, right? By your own logic, partners to a SAHM don't see their children grow up either and yet I never see anyone asking similar questions to men as if their time with children doesn't seem to be equally important.

I also think you've got a rosy view of the past. Even though most women stayed home they didn't live like wealthy housewives do today because most of them were married or average earning men who had to work very long hours while the wife did manual unpaid labor at home and did not have much quality time for her children. I'd be a working woman today a d share childcare with my husband.

DP but the bolded is not a factual statement.

It's still a relevant statement. If a woman who works doesn't see her children, neither does a man who works, so why questions like this are only directed to women?

Men are not working different/longer hours whether their wives stay at home with the kids or not. It's a stupid argument. Men get to spend exactly the amount of hour with their kids that they want to. They have choices that women do not.

If a woman is earning a good income, then the husband has more of a choice to take a job with more flexibility that may have lower pay. Of course he may not choose to do that, but with the wife working it’s more of an option.

The point is that he almost never chooses to do that.

Women could also choose not to reduce their hours. And in my experience that forces men to step up as fathers. Many men don't make those choices because they are used to see women picking up their slack.

This argument is the problem. Men don’t naturally want to pick up more childcare. Women do. Why? Because women aren’t the same as men.

You're certainly speaking for me. My DH would say he'd love to work fewer hours and have more childcare in his life, but he doesn't have the ability to prioritize, multitask, or put a child's feelings and physical needs above his own. He would be pleased to spend less time on his professional life, yes... but he doesn't have the skills or inclination to be a primary caregiver.

How much does my experience with him translate to other fathers, I don’t know.

[Anonymous]

I want it for me. It makes me feel lucky and blessed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked full time, pulled down $500k, even with two kids under two. AND ran the fundraiser at my kids preschool. By the time the kids were in middle school I was the manager of a well known rock band who toured 4 continents in 2020. I didn't miss a single soccer practice and planned snacks for all the games.
My husband gets $$ every four days and my taxes are filed early. I have a thigh gap of 1.75 inches that I have professionally measured by a model scout every quarter.
My average rate of return on my day trading portfolio is 20%, and I know how to make bread from scratch. Fu$$ all y'all. I win.

What band was touring 4 continents in 2020?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would they still fight for workforce accessibility/equality or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job and not seeing their kids grow up? Did it provide the happiness it promised?

Saw this question being asked and I know what I would choose

You realize that when a woman stays home her partner has to work longer hours to support her lifestyle, right? By your own logic, partners to a SAHM don't see their children grow up either and yet I never see anyone asking similar questions to men as if their time with children doesn't seem to be equally important.

I also think you've got a rosy view of the past. Even though most women stayed home they didn't live like wealthy housewives do today because most of them were married or average earning men who had to work very long hours while the wife did manual unpaid labor at home and did not have much quality time for her children. I'd be a working woman today a d share childcare with my husband.

DP but the bolded is not a factual statement.

It's still a relevant statement. If a woman who works doesn't see her children, neither does a man who works, so why questions like this are only directed to women?

Men are not working different/longer hours whether their wives stay at home with the kids or not. It's a stupid argument. Men get to spend exactly the amount of hour with their kids that they want to. They have choices that women do not.

If a woman is earning a good income, then the husband has more of a choice to take a job with more flexibility that may have lower pay. Of course he may not choose to do that, but with the wife working it’s more of an option.

The point is that he almost never chooses to do that.

Women could also choose not to reduce their hours. And in my experience that forces men to step up as fathers. Many men don't make those choices because they are used to see women picking up their slack.

This argument is the problem. Men don’t naturally want to pick up more childcare. Women do. Why? Because women aren’t the same as men.

We wouldn't have so many women complaining about having to do all the childcare if they were all naturally inclined to do it. They're just used to the narrative that childcare is a woman's responsibility and that men are incapable of parenting. All the women I know who grew up in a household where fathers did their fair share established early on in their relationships that housework would be shared and never did more than they'd agreed on, and this naturally translated to childcare. Women who do it all all the ones picking up everything after their husbands because they believe in the "men don't naturally take care of children" myth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would they still fight for workforce accessibility/equality or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job and not seeing their kids grow up? Did it provide the happiness it promised?

Saw this question being asked and I know what I would choose

You realize that when a woman stays home her partner has to work longer hours to support her lifestyle, right? By your own logic, partners to a SAHM don't see their children grow up either and yet I never see anyone asking similar questions to men as if their time with children doesn't seem to be equally important.

I also think you've got a rosy view of the past. Even though most women stayed home they didn't live like wealthy housewives do today because most of them were married or average earning men who had to work very long hours while the wife did manual unpaid labor at home and did not have much quality time for her children. I'd be a working woman today a d share childcare with my husband.

DP but the bolded is not a factual statement.

It's still a relevant statement. If a woman who works doesn't see her children, neither does a man who works, so why questions like this are only directed to women?

Men are not working different/longer hours whether their wives stay at home with the kids or not. It's a stupid argument. Men get to spend exactly the amount of hour with their kids that they want to. They have choices that women do not.

If a woman is earning a good income, then the husband has more of a choice to take a job with more flexibility that may have lower pay. Of course he may not choose to do that, but with the wife working it’s more of an option.

The point is that he almost never chooses to do that.

Women could also choose not to reduce their hours. And in my experience that forces men to step up as fathers. Many men don't make those choices because they are used to see women picking up their slack.

This argument is the problem. Men don’t naturally want to pick up more childcare. Women do. Why? Because women aren’t the same as men.

You're certainly speaking for me. My DH would say he'd love to work fewer hours and have more childcare in his life, but he doesn't have the ability to prioritize, multitask, or put a child's feelings and physical needs above his own. He would be pleased to spend less time on his professional life, yes... but he doesn't have the skills or inclination to be a primary caregiver.

How much does my experience with him translate to other fathers, I don’t know.

Men don't lack the ability to put child's needs above their own, they just can afford not to do it because they're used to a mother and a wife who did and will do this for them. I personally find it horrorifying that this man is still your husband and that you see this as normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would they still fight for workforce accessibility/equality or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job and not seeing their kids grow up? Did it provide the happiness it promised?

Saw this question being asked and I know what I would choose

You realize that when a woman stays home her partner has to work longer hours to support her lifestyle, right? By your own logic, partners to a SAHM don't see their children grow up either and yet I never see anyone asking similar questions to men as if their time with children doesn't seem to be equally important.

I also think you've got a rosy view of the past. Even though most women stayed home they didn't live like wealthy housewives do today because most of them were married or average earning men who had to work very long hours while the wife did manual unpaid labor at home and did not have much quality time for her children. I'd be a working woman today a d share childcare with my husband.

DP but the bolded is not a factual statement.

It's still a relevant statement. If a woman who works doesn't see her children, neither does a man who works, so why questions like this are only directed to women?

Men are not working different/longer hours whether their wives stay at home with the kids or not. It's a stupid argument. Men get to spend exactly the amount of hour with their kids that they want to. They have choices that women do not.

If a woman is earning a good income, then the husband has more of a choice to take a job with more flexibility that may have lower pay. Of course he may not choose to do that, but with the wife working it’s more of an option.

The point is that he almost never chooses to do that.

Women could also choose not to reduce their hours. And in my experience that forces men to step up as fathers. Many men don't make those choices because they are used to see women picking up their slack.

This argument is the problem. Men don’t naturally want to pick up more childcare. Women do. Why? Because women aren’t the same as men.

You're certainly speaking for me. My DH would say he'd love to work fewer hours and have more childcare in his life, but he doesn't have the ability to prioritize, multitask, or put a child's feelings and physical needs above his own. He would be pleased to spend less time on his professional life, yes... but he doesn't have the skills or inclination to be a primary caregiver.

How much does my experience with him translate to other fathers, I don’t know.

Men don't lack the ability to put child's needs above their own, they just can afford not to do it because they're used to a mother and a wife who did and will do this for them. I personally find it horrorifying that this man is still your husband and that you see this as normal.

Pre kids I would have said this. But now that I have kids and I’ve watched men, I truly don’t think they are good caregivers. There are exceptions of course. Kind of like how men are terrible at giving birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would they still fight for workforce accessibility/equality or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job and not seeing their kids grow up? Did it provide the happiness it promised?

Saw this question being asked and I know what I would choose

You realize that when a woman stays home her partner has to work longer hours to support her lifestyle, right? By your own logic, partners to a SAHM don't see their children grow up either and yet I never see anyone asking similar questions to men as if their time with children doesn't seem to be equally important.

I also think you've got a rosy view of the past. Even though most women stayed home they didn't live like wealthy housewives do today because most of them were married or average earning men who had to work very long hours while the wife did manual unpaid labor at home and did not have much quality time for her children. I'd be a working woman today a d share childcare with my husband.

DP but the bolded is not a factual statement.

It's still a relevant statement. If a woman who works doesn't see her children, neither does a man who works, so why questions like this are only directed to women?

Men are not working different/longer hours whether their wives stay at home with the kids or not. It's a stupid argument. Men get to spend exactly the amount of hour with their kids that they want to. They have choices that women do not.

If a woman is earning a good income, then the husband has more of a choice to take a job with more flexibility that may have lower pay. Of course he may not choose to do that, but with the wife working it’s more of an option.

The point is that he almost never chooses to do that.

Women could also choose not to reduce their hours. And in my experience that forces men to step up as fathers. Many men don't make those choices because they are used to see women picking up their slack.

This argument is the problem. Men don’t naturally want to pick up more childcare. Women do. Why? Because women aren’t the same as men.

You're certainly speaking for me. My DH would say he'd love to work fewer hours and have more childcare in his life, but he doesn't have the ability to prioritize, multitask, or put a child's feelings and physical needs above his own. He would be pleased to spend less time on his professional life, yes... but he doesn't have the skills or inclination to be a primary caregiver.

How much does my experience with him translate to other fathers, I don’t know.

Men don't lack the ability to put child's needs above their own, they just can afford not to do it because they're used to a mother and a wife who did and will do this for them. I personally find it horrorifying that this man is still your husband and that you see this as normal.

Pre kids I would have said this. But now that I have kids and I’ve watched men, I truly don’t think they are good caregivers. There are exceptions of course. Kind of like how men are terrible at giving birth.

I do have kids and so do the women O knoe with involved husbands. It comes down to what you/women around you are willing to accept. Plenty of women are terrible caregivers as well, but they're just expected to do their part, unlike men whose incompetence is constantly excused with the it's nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would they still fight for workforce accessibility/equality or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job and not seeing their kids grow up? Did it provide the happiness it promised?

Saw this question being asked and I know what I would choose

You realize that when a woman stays home her partner has to work longer hours to support her lifestyle, right? By your own logic, partners to a SAHM don't see their children grow up either and yet I never see anyone asking similar questions to men as if their time with children doesn't seem to be equally important.

I also think you've got a rosy view of the past. Even though most women stayed home they didn't live like wealthy housewives do today because most of them were married or average earning men who had to work very long hours while the wife did manual unpaid labor at home and did not have much quality time for her children. I'd be a working woman today a d share childcare with my husband.

DP but the bolded is not a factual statement.

It's still a relevant statement. If a woman who works doesn't see her children, neither does a man who works, so why questions like this are only directed to women?

Men are not working different/longer hours whether their wives stay at home with the kids or not. It's a stupid argument. Men get to spend exactly the amount of hour with their kids that they want to. They have choices that women do not.

If a woman is earning a good income, then the husband has more of a choice to take a job with more flexibility that may have lower pay. Of course he may not choose to do that, but with the wife working it’s more of an option.

The point is that he almost never chooses to do that.

Women could also choose not to reduce their hours. And in my experience that forces men to step up as fathers. Many men don't make those choices because they are used to see women picking up their slack.

This argument is the problem. Men don’t naturally want to pick up more childcare. Women do. Why? Because women aren’t the same as men.

You're certainly speaking for me. My DH would say he'd love to work fewer hours and have more childcare in his life, but he doesn't have the ability to prioritize, multitask, or put a child's feelings and physical needs above his own. He would be pleased to spend less time on his professional life, yes... but he doesn't have the skills or inclination to be a primary caregiver.

How much does my experience with him translate to other fathers, I don’t know.

Men don't lack the ability to put child's needs above their own, they just can afford not to do it because they're used to a mother and a wife who did and will do this for them. I personally find it horrorifying that this man is still your husband and that you see this as normal.

It's easier to blame nature than to admitting that your husband is crappy and that you're a sucker.