I think I’m going to have to contact my husband’s affair partner

[Anonymous]

I am all about revenge.

Do it OP. But be strategic. Do your homework and hurt her commensurate with how she hurt you.

Even skanky OWs have someone in their life who would think badly of them for their cheating ways... if they knew. Make sure they do.

And no one I know would support the OW. They won't think your crazy. That is stupid OW garbage talk.

[Anonymous]

Wow you sound like an angry cheated on wife . Yikes .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am all about revenge.

Do it OP. But be strategic. Do your homework and hurt her commensurate with how she hurt you.

Even skanky OWs have someone in their life who would think badly of them for their cheating ways... if they knew. Make sure they do.

And no one I know would support the OW. They won't think your crazy. That is stupid OW garbage talk.

You sound unhinged. Be careful. People like you will result in a police report for a potential harassment charge if it happens again. Maybe libel and defamation of character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am all about revenge.

Do it OP. But be strategic. Do your homework and hurt her commensurate with how she hurt you.

Even skanky OWs have someone in their life who would think badly of them for their cheating ways... if they knew. Make sure they do.

And no one I know would support the OW. They won't think your crazy. That is stupid OW garbage talk.

You sound unhinged. Be careful. People like you will result in a police report for a potential harassment charge if it happens again. Maybe libel and defamation of character.

It’s not libel or defamation if what is stated is true. If she’s cheating with married men: that’s a fact. Stick to the facts and you won’t be libel.

OW on here are always threatening that crap and restraining order without knowing the bar for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shaming BW is just an attempt to avoid the natural consequences of your bad choices. The problem isn't that I lied and cheated . . . the problem is that you got mad about it!

Don't play stupid games if you don't want to win stupid prizes. Hinging your exit strategy on the politeness of the betrayed spouse is a losing proposition. And the same thing goes for the married person . . . hoping that the person willing to sleep with you while you're married will be nice and polite about it afterwards, well good luck with that. You're just rolling the dice. If you want to avoid interpersonal drama, stick to single people.

This. It’s mental gymnastics do they don’t have to face what disgusting, lying POS they are.

[Anonymous]

So is this one of the threads Jeff was referring to that has been posted by the same woman in the last few days? Referenced in the post he just locked down about OP’s husband telling his AP that OP is revolting?

OP, if that is you, all I can say is there is no way out of this mess until you get tired enough of mistreatment and tired enough of feeling the way you feel now. Then and only then will you feel better. I really do wish you the best. It’s not fun being lost like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So is this one of the threads Jeff was referring to that has been posted by the same woman in the last few days? Referenced in the post he just locked down about OP’s husband telling his AP that OP is revolting?

OP, if that is you, all I can say is there is no way out of this mess until you get tired enough of mistreatment and tired enough of feeling the way you feel now. Then and only then will you feel better. I really do wish you the best. It’s not fun being lost like this.

+1

I'd love for the OW to get hit by Karma, but in this case OP is trying to make herself feel better any way but the only way that would actually work: leaving her husband. Nothing else is going to scratch that itch, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she married too? Just anonymously tip off her husband. Done.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am all about revenge.

Do it OP. But be strategic. Do your homework and hurt her commensurate with how she hurt you.

Even skanky OWs have someone in their life who would think badly of them for their cheating ways... if they knew. Make sure they do.

And no one I know would support the OW. They won't think your crazy. That is stupid OW garbage talk.

This is good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am all about revenge.

Do it OP. But be strategic. Do your homework and hurt her commensurate with how she hurt you.

Even skanky OWs have someone in their life who would think badly of them for their cheating ways... if they knew. Make sure they do.

And no one I know would support the OW. They won't think your crazy. That is stupid OW garbage talk.

You sound unhinged. Be careful. People like you will result in a police report for a potential harassment charge if it happens again. Maybe libel and defamation of character.

It’s not libel or defamation if what is stated is true. If she’s cheating with married men: that’s a fact. Stick to the facts and you won’t be libel.

OW on here are always threatening that crap and restraining order without knowing the bar for it.

Sure, but threatening to destroy someone’s reputation, showing up at their work, contacting all of their family members, and sending their employer an email about how their company funded an affair are all grounds for a harassement charge, which is a criminal offence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am all about revenge.

Do it OP. But be strategic. Do your homework and hurt her commensurate with how she hurt you.

Even skanky OWs have someone in their life who would think badly of them for their cheating ways... if they knew. Make sure they do.

And no one I know would support the OW. They won't think your crazy. That is stupid OW garbage talk.

You sound unhinged. Be careful. People like you will result in a police report for a potential harassment charge if it happens again. Maybe libel and defamation of character.

It’s not libel or defamation if what is stated is true. If she’s cheating with married men: that’s a fact. Stick to the facts and you won’t be libel.

OW on here are always threatening that crap and restraining order without knowing the bar for it.

Sure, but threatening to destroy someone’s reputation, showing up at their work, contacting all of their family members, and sending their employer an email about how their company funded an affair are all grounds for a harassement charge, which is a criminal offence.

Yep. OW did all of those things. Restraining order

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So is this one of the threads Jeff was referring to that has been posted by the same woman in the last few days? Referenced in the post he just locked down about OP’s husband telling his AP that OP is revolting?

OP, if that is you, all I can say is there is no way out of this mess until you get tired enough of mistreatment and tired enough of feeling the way you feel now. Then and only then will you feel better. I really do wish you the best. It’s not fun being lost like this.

+1

I'd love for the OW to get hit by Karma, but in this case OP is trying to make herself feel better any way but the only way that would actually work: leaving her husband. Nothing else is going to scratch that itch, OP.

Bingo !!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would she get? He dropped her the minute I discovered it and has been completely no contact, doing everything he can to show remorse, work on marriage, etc. this is for me…

So why bother then?

Because “doing everything he can to show remorse” is meaningless and OP understands but does not accept this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheating husbands always utter those classic lines that their affair partners "were just sex" or "meant nothing," as if that should make it all easier to swallow. It's rather pitiful for a betrayed wife to cling to a man who eagerly risked his marriage, his family and his home life for "nothing." Being a selfish, self-serving sociopath is bad enough, but who wants to stay married to such a person anyway? You can't do any better?

WITH A MARRIED woman most of the time, but somehow she gets let off the hook on this board. She's not selfish or a sociopath, right?

Men don't think they are hurting their wives because they compartmentalize and think they won't hurt their wives. Are they still having regular sex at home and doing all the family things and planning date nights? Yes- most of the time.

I guess you will be able to tell if it was just sex if he dumps you and then never contacts you again. Ever.

You wrote the top post. Let the victory lap begin! All healed, eh?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/255/874650.page#17056211

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll chime in, because OP I don’t want you to get hurt. These things may not go the way you hope they will. I was the OW when I was in my mid 20s. (I’m a very different person now, so please don’t judge).

I broke up with the guy when his wife found out. She confronted me about a month later. I told her point blank “your husband told me that I gave him the single best sexual experience of his life. What do you imagine we did together?” She started to tear up and just walked away. Looking back on it, I feel horrible for what I did. So just please be careful OP. A confrontation may not go the way you want.

She was probably shocked and saddened and her husband’s horrible taste in ap, not aghast at your weird sexual dominance display, fyi.

Exactly. And, btw, men always say that. My husband and I didn’t leave the bed except to get water and whatever was in the cabinets for 3 days. We were insane. He could go several (4 times on our wedding night) times a night. There’s nothing we haven’t done in 20 years.

But, hey, a new body is just that: variety. A guy will always go on about that was the best blah blah blah. Fwiw, the only thing the AP said to me is “I was always so jealous of you”.

Yeah that would be a lie to make you feel better. Not sure why someone would be jealous of someone whose husband cheats on them. Nice that you had sex multiple x a night when you first met though.

Still did during the affair and still can do it even now. Sex life was always very good. He was a mess briefly in midlife- good friend died, dissatisfied with himself, and drinking too much. And, no, she wasn’t the type to say something to be nice. She had a mean steak and was angry at him for “using her” and treated her like a prostitute (her words). She was married too- she just wanted it to be with my husband, be her exit.

It’s wonderful you understand his trauma so well now. Such a tragedy that you didn’t before he was deep into a multi year affair, so unfair.