I think I’m going to have to contact my husband’s affair partner

[Anonymous]

I’ve posted before and I know that tge overwhelming advice is not to, but I am really thinking I have to or it’s going to bother me forever. Anyone do this and glad they did?

Yes he’s the one I hold accountable, but it’s a matter of pride or something deep in me that feels this need so strongly.

[Anonymous]

you will get NOTHING from this. She will get something from this. Do NOT do this.

[Anonymous]

What would she get? He dropped her the minute I discovered it and has been completely no contact, doing everything he can to show remorse, work on marriage, etc. this is for me…

[Anonymous]

Not worth it. Work on your relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would she get? He dropped her the minute I discovered it and has been completely no contact, doing everything he can to show remorse, work on marriage, etc. this is for me…

So then what would be the point of doing it??

I'm so confused.

[Anonymous]

Don’t give her the satisfaction. You will be giving her fuel and relevance, and access to your orbit. Plus you are not going to get the reaction you are hoping for.

[Anonymous]

What would you say?

[Anonymous]

Is she married too? Just anonymously tip off her husband. Done.

[Anonymous]

She will say things with the purpose of hurting you, made up sh@t. And she is likely pissed at him for dropping her like a dirty used washcloth so she will want to hurt you to get back at him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she married too? Just anonymously tip off her husband. Done.

+1

[Anonymous]

This will be bad karma for you.

Focus on what you want in your life. Let her live her life. You trying to mess with her in any way just means that you feel weak inside and hurt. You need to deal with those feelings in a healthy way. Confronting her doesn’t take away those feelings. It’s an illusion. It actually feeds your hurt and is a way of keeping you tied to this whole mess instead of becoming free of it.

I get that you’ve been traumatized and feel that something outside of your choice happened to you. I think that now you have choices, and if you choose to keep being controlled by this and letting it have power over you, you’re going to end up in a victim position and that will not lead you to a better life.

[Anonymous]

Confront her. It’s petty but therapeutic. Make her face what she did to you, just like your DH had to. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve posted before and I know that tge overwhelming advice is not to, but I am really thinking I have to or it’s going to bother me forever. Anyone do this and glad they did?

Yes he’s the one I hold accountable, but it’s a matter of pride or something deep in me that feels this need so strongly.

Your choice of words is interesting, OP.

If you had pride you would not stoop to something that cannot possibly go well.

The affair will always be with you although it may not "bother you forever."

You sound very immature, impulsive and dramatic. Are you in counseling?

[Anonymous]

So what are you going to say to her?

[Anonymous]

I say go for it OP. Then report back the result.