If H takes this job, it’s going to break me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

He was asked to interview for a position in his company that, according to him, is a 6 month trial with no pay raise, but it puts him in front of people like the CEO, and gives him management experience. It is VERY demanding, will have zero flexibility on scheduling, and will require travel. In his words, it could either make or break his career - if he does well, it could lead to a permanent position with a very significant pay raise, or if he does poorly, he will basically be stuck in his current role permanently.

I was blunt and told him that his time management sucks, he is lazy

There is a very obvious contradiction here. He would not even be considered for such a position if his time management sucks and he is lazy.

This just sounds like the standard DW whine that DH is not doing everything she wants exactly as she wants it done and (stamps foot) this means he is a good-for-nothing man-baby. Whatever. Go ahead and blow up your family because there are some dirty dishes on the counter.

Oh stop. We literally have zero toilet paper and have had to shower after pooping and I am using my kids’ toothpaste because H didn’t follow through on restocking when he volunteered for the task. Most days he either sleeps in until 10am, or locks himself in the bedroom in the evening to nap until 9pm. This is WAY beyond a few dishes left on the counter.

Are you an adult? Why not restock things yourself? You sound like a child. You would rather throw a tantrum than buy some toilet paper and toothpaste.

Whoosh. I cannot believe how clueless / obtuse some of you are.

DP. This is how I read it as well. She doesn’t want to buy toilet paper because it isn’t her “job.”

I find these comments so insane. I have told my DH several times saying he is going to do something and then not doing it is WORSE than just straight up admitting he won’t do it. Because then you either have to monitor them or it ends up being an emergency and you missed a deadline or ran out. Being out of TP because you believed your husband would take care of it is not that big of a deal once but if it’s happening all the time for various tasks it’s chaos.

[Anonymous]

Wait, op, this is your own behind and you haven’t gone and gotten some toilet paper? You would prefer to shower v. not have toilet paper.. at all?!

You are an example of someone who can write really well and make what you’re doing sound normal, healthy, viable and correct, 15 pages and nobody has mentioned why you haven’t gotten toilet paper? Maybe you shouldn’t have to, but really? Something is very wrong with you.. there may be a lot wrong with your husband but something is very wrong with you. Again, this is toilet paper.. it’s not his gym bag, or his clothes, or things that won’t affect you, this is literally your ass that’s involved and you’d prefer to post. That is not at all normal, op.

The dirty containers on the counter for *days*, this behavior is why some people truly hate shared walled living, nothing you can do about a neighbor who won’t do basic cleanup of their living space. Again, this isn’t old food in the fridge, this isn’t a trash can full of tissues, this is a place where maggots can live. It’s nasty and you just let it keep sitting there.

As for your husband, it sounds more like he’s got a girlfriend, not a new job. No flexibility, no pay raise, travel, this is girlfriend material.

Me, I’d keep the house sanitary which isn’t what you’re doing now, note I said sanitary not clean. I’d make sure the family had basic things. You’d have to do that if you were single too. I wouldn’t do anything to make your husband’s life easier, and I’d probably divorce him, but really op, if you won’t buy toilet paper to prove a point, I kind of think you and your husband deserve each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

He was asked to interview for a position in his company that, according to him, is a 6 month trial with no pay raise, but it puts him in front of people like the CEO, and gives him management experience. It is VERY demanding, will have zero flexibility on scheduling, and will require travel. In his words, it could either make or break his career - if he does well, it could lead to a permanent position with a very significant pay raise, or if he does poorly, he will basically be stuck in his current role permanently.

I was blunt and told him that his time management sucks, he is lazy

There is a very obvious contradiction here. He would not even be considered for such a position if his time management sucks and he is lazy.

This just sounds like the standard DW whine that DH is not doing everything she wants exactly as she wants it done and (stamps foot) this means he is a good-for-nothing man-baby. Whatever. Go ahead and blow up your family because there are some dirty dishes on the counter.

Oh stop. We literally have zero toilet paper and have had to shower after pooping and I am using my kids’ toothpaste because H didn’t follow through on restocking when he volunteered for the task. Most days he either sleeps in until 10am, or locks himself in the bedroom in the evening to nap until 9pm. This is WAY beyond a few dishes left on the counter.

Are you an adult? Why not restock things yourself? You sound like a child. You would rather throw a tantrum than buy some toilet paper and toothpaste.

Whoosh. I cannot believe how clueless / obtuse some of you are.

DP. This is how I read it as well. She doesn’t want to buy toilet paper because it isn’t her “job.”

I find these comments so insane. I have told my DH several times saying he is going to do something and then not doing it is WORSE than just straight up admitting he won’t do it. Because then you either have to monitor them or it ends up being an emergency and you missed a deadline or ran out. Being out of TP because you believed your husband would take care of it is not that big of a deal once but if it’s happening all the time for various tasks it’s chaos.

Exactly. It’s death by a thousand cuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Wait, op, this is your own behind and you haven’t gone and gotten some toilet paper? You would prefer to shower v. not have toilet paper.. at all?!

You are an example of someone who can write really well and make what you’re doing sound normal, healthy, viable and correct, 15 pages and nobody has mentioned why you haven’t gotten toilet paper? Maybe you shouldn’t have to, but really? Something is very wrong with you.. there may be a lot wrong with your husband but something is very wrong with you. Again, this is toilet paper.. it’s not his gym bag, or his clothes, or things that won’t affect you, this is literally your ass that’s involved and you’d prefer to post. That is not at all normal, op.

The dirty containers on the counter for *days*, this behavior is why some people truly hate shared walled living, nothing you can do about a neighbor who won’t do basic cleanup of their living space. Again, this isn’t old food in the fridge, this isn’t a trash can full of tissues, this is a place where maggots can live. It’s nasty and you just let it keep sitting there.

As for your husband, it sounds more like he’s got a girlfriend, not a new job. No flexibility, no pay raise, travel, this is girlfriend material.

Me, I’d keep the house sanitary which isn’t what you’re doing now, note I said sanitary not clean. I’d make sure the family had basic things. You’d have to do that if you were single too. I wouldn’t do anything to make your husband’s life easier, and I’d probably divorce him, but really op, if you won’t buy toilet paper to prove a point, I kind of think you and your husband deserve each other.

Sounds like OP has become depressed as in clinically depressed from this experience. You sound like a peach, PP.

[Anonymous]

Does OP even have a job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does OP even have a job?

Do you even know how to read?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Wait, op, this is your own behind and you haven’t gone and gotten some toilet paper? You would prefer to shower v. not have toilet paper.. at all?!

You are an example of someone who can write really well and make what you’re doing sound normal, healthy, viable and correct, 15 pages and nobody has mentioned why you haven’t gotten toilet paper? Maybe you shouldn’t have to, but really? Something is very wrong with you.. there may be a lot wrong with your husband but something is very wrong with you. Again, this is toilet paper.. it’s not his gym bag, or his clothes, or things that won’t affect you, this is literally your ass that’s involved and you’d prefer to post. That is not at all normal, op.

The dirty containers on the counter for *days*, this behavior is why some people truly hate shared walled living, nothing you can do about a neighbor who won’t do basic cleanup of their living space. Again, this isn’t old food in the fridge, this isn’t a trash can full of tissues, this is a place where maggots can live. It’s nasty and you just let it keep sitting there.

As for your husband, it sounds more like he’s got a girlfriend, not a new job. No flexibility, no pay raise, travel, this is girlfriend material.

Me, I’d keep the house sanitary which isn’t what you’re doing now, note I said sanitary not clean. I’d make sure the family had basic things. You’d have to do that if you were single too. I wouldn’t do anything to make your husband’s life easier, and I’d probably divorce him, but really op, if you won’t buy toilet paper to prove a point, I kind of think you and your husband deserve each other.

You're far behind the curve here. She's definitely been far too rigid about things like not getting TP herself because he refuses to do chores he agreed to do. But the whole "it's about housework" ship has sailed away from this thread. He is a drinker, whicih she mentioned much later, and it's come out that they almost simultaneously had a baby, he lost his job, and his father died. He's likely depressed, possibly bipolar since she describes "high highs and low lows," and neither of them has recognized that big picture due to the fixation on domestic chores. (At which he is still passive-aggressive and horrible, BTW.) She is seeing that bigger picture now, though. Previous posts about it before your post, PP. I think she knows by now this isn't actually about chore cards and her sticking to her guns over TP and toothpaste. They need to stock the house to the roof and start finding him serious medical intervention as well as help for his drinking. Your post focuses on stuff from way earlier in the discussion.

OP -- if you're reading this -- have you found out the real deal wtih the no-raise, work travel, "trial" job position? Some of us here have mentioned it smells funny, as if maybe it's actually a performance improvement plan due to problems, not a trial for a promotion.