Anonymous wrote:DD6 does not need to be driven to practice. DD6 doesn't need an EC. Certainly eliminate that. You shouldn't be driving these kids anywhere that's not absolutely necessary. They walk to school or they take the bus. Maybe you shouldn't have a dog. Drive thru McD's and pick up dinner once in awhile if you have to ~ All of this is better than divorce.
That is absolutely ridiculous. A grown man playing on a phone does not take priority over children’s well-being and health. If something is going to be cut, it should be getting rid of dad’s phone.
THIS. How idiotic to say the kid should have to drop their ONE activity so dad can be lazy more easily. Drop his smartphone in the toilet and buy him a calls and texts only Tracfone with no internet.
Anonymous wrote:Wait it out my fanny. Are you some doormat SAHM who's congratulating herself on how much crap she put up with for decades? Sorry but allowing yourself to be mistreated ks not a solution, it's a failure.
Um, no, and I'm not sure what your vaginas has to do with this.
So your advice is for OP to do all the work herself, allow herself to be treated disrespectfully by a lazy and irresponsible man, let him waste their money, this goes on for decades, and at the end what's the prize? Still being married to a jerk who's slightly better? No thanks.
He sounds immature. That tends to improve over time.
Where I'm coming from with this is, I did have a husband that didn't do as much housework as I felt he should and also was irresponsible with money. At some point I decided to stop nagging and just accept the situation. It was not easy and it was not fair. Fast forward about 10 years- he is now a much greater contributor to the household-- does all cooking, shopping, schlepping the kids around, and a non-terrible amount of cleaning. (I still do more cleaning.) And, his income is now extremely high, high enough that he is still able to make silly purchases or lose money in predictable ways and it doesn't impact us at all. I dislike clutter, so I don't love this trait, but it isn't a crisis like it was before. So yes-- people can and often do have a difficult time in the first part of marriage and then go on to have a great marriage.
It sounds like she's done and is leaving him, and that's also a path forward. But this is something that is a fairly common problem in relationships, and if you read the research on it, it does tend to improve with time, and in later life actually flips, with men doing more housework than women in retirement age.
But what if he didn't improve? What if he never made money? Would it be worth it then? Seems like a big gamble, especially if retirement security is on the line.
Yeah, that was a gamble. My retirement wasn't on the line though, we were financially okay in that department, along with paying for college, etc. After devoting a lot of time reading studies on the division of housework in modern American families, I decided that it was likely to improve and focused on that. It's hard to visualize the counterfactual, how I would have felt if we were still dealing with this. But I tend to be data driven and the numbers for married people are generally better than unmarried.
If my husband never made money at all, I wouldn't have married him. Financial security is a huge factor to me. He was always a good earner, just an even better spender until he made so much it'd be difficult to spend it.
So you married an immature man who treated you badly, but that's ok because money?
He treated me poorly in a way that the majority of men treat their wives poorly. In most American households, women do the majority of housework. So, uh, yeah, like most women in hetero couplings, who stay married, I tolerated this suboptimal yet common condition until it subsided. My decision to do so was less about money and more about wanting to be married to a man.
Okay no. It may be true that in most couples women do the majority of housework, but for a lot of them it's *on purpose*, agreed to, and peaceful.. It's a smaller proportion of couples who have that dynamic because the man is immature, lazy, disorganized, disrespectful, uncaring, etc. Stop acting like those marriages are the same, they aren't.
It's sad that you felt you needed a man that badly. I'm sad for the younger version of yourself.
You think that women just *want* to do more work? Like they walk in and say "no, Chad, don't do the dishes! I want to!" It is peaceful because women know the deal- that men are not likely to pull their weight in that regard, and they are tired of beating a dead horse. It's always disrespectful, uncaring, etc.
Thank you for your sympathy.
If they are SAHM or work part time, yes I would think that is definitely and explicitly the deal. The question is not "In how many households does the woman do more". It's "In how many households does the woman do much more despite working full time and going to therapy and constantly exhorting her DH to do the things he explicitly agree to do?". And that's a far smaller proportion.
Are these women just like, obsessed with working? Is that it? Has nothing to do with the fact that men are cultured to regard it as women's responsibility?
I don't know, probably some of them are unahppy and others of them have their reasons, but I do know it's abnormal for a.man to behave like OP's husband, being lazy and yelling and doing hardly anything in the face of therapy and repeated requests.
I suspect that OP is more persistent about this issue than most women, as I also was before I made peace with it. Can we at least agree that it is not normal to write love letters thanking your spouse for cooking dinner? That's an unusual level of engagement on this topic. And, like most men are cultured not to do housework, women are cultured to do it. So this is probably not an issue that is brought to the surface in the way it is in OP's (and was in mine at first). So he sounds like a prick but maybe a lot of marriages would look like this if women weren't all out there cheerfully and consensually doing more than they should have to.
The "love letter" sounds like a desperate move from someone who's trying really hard to save her marriage to a man-baby who needs a cookie every time he wipes his own bum.
OP. So please tell me if this is abnormal...
On Wednesday, I was supposed to pick up DD1 from daycare, pick up DD6 from after school care, take DD6 to practice, pick up the dog from dog daycare, handle dinner, while H had....nothing, because he told me he wants to come home from work and have some time alone to unwind. I realized this was ridiculous and told him to pick up the dog and do dinner since he would just be sitting around while I drove kids around. And that's why I wrote the note, because he did it, and I wanted to show that I'm grateful.
But I'm also like...wtf. The reason the dog goes to daycare is H refuses to wake up half an hour early to walk her, he needs to sleep in until 8am instead while I wake up at 6am to get the kids ready. The reason we didn't have groceries for dinner is he said he would handle groceries that weekend but didn't. So why the hell should I be thankful for him doing basic household things when I'm on my feet from 6am-9pm?
No, this is not normal, at all.
I do though think that people get so overscheduled that it just destroys families and individual happiness. Life would be so much better if you could drop the daycare, drop the dog daycare, drop the practice for a 6yo. If only one of you worked and you dropped the extra stuff, you would not feel so stretched. Of course, you'd probably have to live somewhere cheaper. People get on this crazy treadmill, and the truth is, very few people have the executive functioning skills and energy to keep it up AND BE HAPPY. Of course, you are in the situation you are in, and assuming you don't want to make a radical change of lifestyle, it is probably better to get divorced than to continue on with this resentful relationship.
OP. Practice is twice a week, and DD loves it, so I don’t think it’s fair to make her stop because H wants to watch football.
DD1 needs daycare. I work. What else am I supposed to do? The dog needs to be exercised, and H won’t do it. I can’t keep a dog cooped up all day, and H refuses to walk her.
I get that she likes it. My kids like lots of things that I don't let them do because it is expensive or intrudes on family time or is just a hassle. It is really a perspective thing. I firmly believe that kids SHOULD be bored sometimes. It's healthy. And yes, I think that your husband wanting to watch football instead of her going to practice (for what even?) twice a week is totally reasonable. She is a kid. Let her play in the yard, draw, ride her bike, whatever. And more importantly, if it is creating all this tension and stress, drop it. She will be happier overall if her parents are happy and together rather than going to whatever practice this is.
The dog? Do you have a yard? Do you work from home? Dogs don't need daycare. So, yes, your husband should walk the dog. Honestly, it is a mistake to get a dog with young kids. I don't know why people do it.
The daycare for your youngest is unavoidable unless one of you quits working. I get you don't want to quit, nor would I in the precarious situation you have with your loser DH. I was more talking about how we have these overscheduled two working parent families without the ability to manage that amount of hectic scheduling.
Here is the deal: you married and had kids with a guy who is lazy and a slob, maybe has ADD, and maybe has a phone addiction. You, as a family, cannot afford to have all this scheduled activity. It is no different than if you wanted a mansion but didn't make that much money. You need to cut back on all this extra stuff and spend your leftover time and money on making your lives more manageable. Seems worth it to try that before getting a divorce. Or just divorce the loser. But it sucks for your kids.
Him taking naps all night and playing on his phone isn’t “family time,” but whatever you need to tell yourself.
Anonymous wrote:Get rid of the dog. You don’t have the time or the money to take care of it.
Use the doggie daycare money to hire household help. Go to the grocery store and get some toilet paper and toothpaste.
Get rid of the Fair Play cards and stop trying to fix your marriage with internet pop psychology.
Accept that this is the husband you have and the marriage you have. Your marriage is never going to be the way you pictured it, and you can’t force it.
Apologize to your husband for calling him lazy and tell him that you believe in him and will support him with this job interview.
Be a giant doormat. Your husband is so useless you can't have anything nice, even a dog. Accept the mistreatment. Support him in a clearly terrible doormat.
Yeah no.
+1,000. Who are these pathetic women feeding OP this garbage?
Anonymous wrote:Get rid of the dog. You don’t have the time or the money to take care of it.
Use the doggie daycare money to hire household help. Go to the grocery store and get some toilet paper and toothpaste.
Get rid of the Fair Play cards and stop trying to fix your marriage with internet pop psychology.
Accept that this is the husband you have and the marriage you have. Your marriage is never going to be the way you pictured it, and you can’t force it.
Apologize to your husband for calling him lazy and tell him that you believe in him and will support him with this job interview.
Be a giant doormat. Your husband is so useless you can't have anything nice, even a dog. Accept the mistreatment. Support him in a clearly terrible doormat.
Yeah no.
If that’s the way you want to see it.
The way I see it, there are two people in this relationship, and only one of them wants things to change. So, fair or not, that’s the person who has to change.
YOU GUYS. I dug up his financial stuff (we’ve always kept it separate on his insistence) and he makes TWICE what I thought he did.
WHERE IS ALL HIS MONEY GOING???
I’m floored. I thought this was just a case of mismanagement but now it’s clear he spending his money on something or someone, and it’s not his family.
If he’s like 90% of men, it’s going to retirement accounts and college savings for your children.
Anonymous wrote:It's absolutely possible to find a husband who doesn't dump all the work on you. My brother has been a SAHD and is the primary caretaker for his kids (his wife's job requires a lot of travel, he works remotely part time). My husband and I share childcare equally. When I drop my kid off at preschool half of those doing dropoff and pickup are Dads.
Yeah, it's possible. But there are still norms and averages. Most women get shafted, taking on more than the man. Getting back to OP, though, she is in a situation where its not just inequitable, it's *entirely* on her. Its a rare circumstance where divorce may be the rational solution. He seems to be functionally not really a husband already so formalizing it and moving on seems sensible.
"On average, married fathers’ time in paid and unpaid work totals 55.5 hours per week, 1.4 hours more than that of married mothers."
So, yeah, women don't get shafted. They might work more at home, but, on average, they work fewer hours overall and make less money overall.
On one point, I agree: OP's husband sounds like deadweight and should be booted from her life.
That report isn't making the point you seem to think it is making.
It definitely is. Married men work more hours than married women. Not as much in the house, but more outside of the house, which more than makes up for the deficit at home.
Anonymous wrote:Wait it out my fanny. Are you some doormat SAHM who's congratulating herself on how much crap she put up with for decades? Sorry but allowing yourself to be mistreated ks not a solution, it's a failure.
Um, no, and I'm not sure what your vaginas has to do with this.
So your advice is for OP to do all the work herself, allow herself to be treated disrespectfully by a lazy and irresponsible man, let him waste their money, this goes on for decades, and at the end what's the prize? Still being married to a jerk who's slightly better? No thanks.
He sounds immature. That tends to improve over time.
Where I'm coming from with this is, I did have a husband that didn't do as much housework as I felt he should and also was irresponsible with money. At some point I decided to stop nagging and just accept the situation. It was not easy and it was not fair. Fast forward about 10 years- he is now a much greater contributor to the household-- does all cooking, shopping, schlepping the kids around, and a non-terrible amount of cleaning. (I still do more cleaning.) And, his income is now extremely high, high enough that he is still able to make silly purchases or lose money in predictable ways and it doesn't impact us at all. I dislike clutter, so I don't love this trait, but it isn't a crisis like it was before. So yes-- people can and often do have a difficult time in the first part of marriage and then go on to have a great marriage.
It sounds like she's done and is leaving him, and that's also a path forward. But this is something that is a fairly common problem in relationships, and if you read the research on it, it does tend to improve with time, and in later life actually flips, with men doing more housework than women in retirement age.
But what if he didn't improve? What if he never made money? Would it be worth it then? Seems like a big gamble, especially if retirement security is on the line.
Yeah, that was a gamble. My retirement wasn't on the line though, we were financially okay in that department, along with paying for college, etc. After devoting a lot of time reading studies on the division of housework in modern American families, I decided that it was likely to improve and focused on that. It's hard to visualize the counterfactual, how I would have felt if we were still dealing with this. But I tend to be data driven and the numbers for married people are generally better than unmarried.
If my husband never made money at all, I wouldn't have married him. Financial security is a huge factor to me. He was always a good earner, just an even better spender until he made so much it'd be difficult to spend it.
So you married an immature man who treated you badly, but that's ok because money?
He treated me poorly in a way that the majority of men treat their wives poorly. In most American households, women do the majority of housework. So, uh, yeah, like most women in hetero couplings, who stay married, I tolerated this suboptimal yet common condition until it subsided. My decision to do so was less about money and more about wanting to be married to a man.
Okay no. It may be true that in most couples women do the majority of housework, but for a lot of them it's *on purpose*, agreed to, and peaceful.. It's a smaller proportion of couples who have that dynamic because the man is immature, lazy, disorganized, disrespectful, uncaring, etc. Stop acting like those marriages are the same, they aren't.
It's sad that you felt you needed a man that badly. I'm sad for the younger version of yourself.
You think that women just *want* to do more work? Like they walk in and say "no, Chad, don't do the dishes! I want to!" It is peaceful because women know the deal- that men are not likely to pull their weight in that regard, and they are tired of beating a dead horse. It's always disrespectful, uncaring, etc.
Thank you for your sympathy.
If they are SAHM or work part time, yes I would think that is definitely and explicitly the deal. The question is not "In how many households does the woman do more". It's "In how many households does the woman do much more despite working full time and going to therapy and constantly exhorting her DH to do the things he explicitly agree to do?". And that's a far smaller proportion.
Are these women just like, obsessed with working? Is that it? Has nothing to do with the fact that men are cultured to regard it as women's responsibility?
I don't know, probably some of them are unahppy and others of them have their reasons, but I do know it's abnormal for a.man to behave like OP's husband, being lazy and yelling and doing hardly anything in the face of therapy and repeated requests.
I suspect that OP is more persistent about this issue than most women, as I also was before I made peace with it. Can we at least agree that it is not normal to write love letters thanking your spouse for cooking dinner? That's an unusual level of engagement on this topic. And, like most men are cultured not to do housework, women are cultured to do it. So this is probably not an issue that is brought to the surface in the way it is in OP's (and was in mine at first). So he sounds like a prick but maybe a lot of marriages would look like this if women weren't all out there cheerfully and consensually doing more than they should have to.
The "love letter" sounds like a desperate move from someone who's trying really hard to save her marriage to a man-baby who needs a cookie every time he wipes his own bum.
OP. So please tell me if this is abnormal...
On Wednesday, I was supposed to pick up DD1 from daycare, pick up DD6 from after school care, take DD6 to practice, pick up the dog from dog daycare, handle dinner, while H had....nothing, because he told me he wants to come home from work and have some time alone to unwind. I realized this was ridiculous and told him to pick up the dog and do dinner since he would just be sitting around while I drove kids around. And that's why I wrote the note, because he did it, and I wanted to show that I'm grateful.
But I'm also like...wtf. The reason the dog goes to daycare is H refuses to wake up half an hour early to walk her, he needs to sleep in until 8am instead while I wake up at 6am to get the kids ready. The reason we didn't have groceries for dinner is he said he would handle groceries that weekend but didn't. So why the hell should I be thankful for him doing basic household things when I'm on my feet from 6am-9pm?
No, this is not normal, at all.
I do though think that people get so overscheduled that it just destroys families and individual happiness. Life would be so much better if you could drop the daycare, drop the dog daycare, drop the practice for a 6yo. If only one of you worked and you dropped the extra stuff, you would not feel so stretched. Of course, you'd probably have to live somewhere cheaper. People get on this crazy treadmill, and the truth is, very few people have the executive functioning skills and energy to keep it up AND BE HAPPY. Of course, you are in the situation you are in, and assuming you don't want to make a radical change of lifestyle, it is probably better to get divorced than to continue on with this resentful relationship.
OP. Practice is twice a week, and DD loves it, so I don’t think it’s fair to make her stop because H wants to watch football.
DD1 needs daycare. I work. What else am I supposed to do? The dog needs to be exercised, and H won’t do it. I can’t keep a dog cooped up all day, and H refuses to walk her.
I get that she likes it. My kids like lots of things that I don't let them do because it is expensive or intrudes on family time or is just a hassle. It is really a perspective thing. I firmly believe that kids SHOULD be bored sometimes. It's healthy. And yes, I think that your husband wanting to watch football instead of her going to practice (for what even?) twice a week is totally reasonable. She is a kid. Let her play in the yard, draw, ride her bike, whatever. And more importantly, if it is creating all this tension and stress, drop it. She will be happier overall if her parents are happy and together rather than going to whatever practice this is.
The dog? Do you have a yard? Do you work from home? Dogs don't need daycare. So, yes, your husband should walk the dog. Honestly, it is a mistake to get a dog with young kids. I don't know why people do it.
The daycare for your youngest is unavoidable unless one of you quits working. I get you don't want to quit, nor would I in the precarious situation you have with your loser DH. I was more talking about how we have these overscheduled two working parent families without the ability to manage that amount of hectic scheduling.
Here is the deal: you married and had kids with a guy who is lazy and a slob, maybe has ADD, and maybe has a phone addiction. You, as a family, cannot afford to have all this scheduled activity. It is no different than if you wanted a mansion but didn't make that much money. You need to cut back on all this extra stuff and spend your leftover time and money on making your lives more manageable. Seems worth it to try that before getting a divorce. Or just divorce the loser. But it sucks for your kids.
Not OP, but to the PP -- how old are your kids? The "let them be bored, they don't need extra activities even if they like them" talk on DCUM tends to come from parents of younger kids. Whatever your kids' ages, you do not comprehend that OP is talking about one, twice-a-week activity. That leaves plenty of time for the DD to get all that valuable boredom you prescribe, ride her bike, play outside, whatever. And Daddy should show he gives a s**t about his own child's interests and personality by supporting her with an occasional ride at least; he might learn his DD is an actual, interesting person, not an inconvenience.
And as DD gets older, is she also supposed to stay home and not have any activities until, I guess, she's 16 and able to drive herself to them? That's limiting. It's actually punitive, saying the kid can't engage in something she finds interesting, even enriching, because daddy plays on his phone rather than making one run a week so mom doesn't have to do both runs.
You truly do not know the difference between overscheduled and healthily engaged in something that isn't schoolwork or just being at home. Yes, kids need to be able to entertain themselves. What OP describes is not at all a kid who is being hauled to endless activities. DD shouldn't give up her ONE outside interest just because dad makes it stressful due to his laziness. Dad should step up, instead.
My three kids are in middle school and elementary school.
The problem is that OP married a lazy slob and had kids with him, so maybe they should try living within their means (timewise and moneywise) as a family before getting a divorce.
And the daughter is not going to suffer from missing a twice a week activity that "she finds interesting." That's just silly. This obsession with activities for little kids is nonsense. Yes, I'm sure that they do find all this interesting. But OP's family obviously doesn't have the wherewithal to do it, so why not just cut it? Is her daughter suffering?
And the slippery slope nonsense about what if she is 16? Just take it slowly. Maybe the situation will be different by then.
But what is clear is that OP's family cannot handle everything. And it is crazy to divorce rather than give up some team -- still curious what that is -- for a 6 yo. And dog daycare. Just get rid of the dog. It would be happier with a family who could walk it then being carted off to dog daycare. Ridiculous.
So the DD is supposed to stay home because daddy's an immature a-hole and can't even muster the energy to drive her somewhere once a week while mom does it the second time each week. Got it.
"Just take it slowly. Maybe the situation will be different by" the time DD is a teen--? Are you for real? OP is supposed to stay with this DH and the kid is supposed to hang around and draw and ride bikes at home until "the situation" with lazy and entitled bachelor-dad improves?
You're advocating --though you won't see it -- for the world to revolve around the DH here. If you think twice a week for one activity is overscheduled, you truly do not know what overscheduled is. It's fine and any kid should be able to have one activity he or she enjoys. As for affording it, if you've kept up with this thread, it looks now as if the DH might have been hiding money and lying about his income, so...maybe the family will find money for this one activity, after OP finds out what's really going on financially with her DH who has insisted they always keep finances separate.
You seem to want to put the OP and the kids second to the DH's self-centered bachelor ways. It's not about the child's activiy or team or whatever. The issue really is the DH's living as if he's a roommate who's vaguely inconvenienced by this woman and these kids who are in his space.
"So the DD is supposed to stay home because daddy's an immature a-hole and can't even muster the energy to drive her somewhere once a week while mom does it the second time each week. Got it." The DD is 6! She can play in the yard, at the park, whatever. But yes, making her stay at home is totally normal, much more so than insisting she needs to go to some twice a week practice. And OP doesn't need to do all this driving if the daughter stays at home. I think it is totally fine for parents to want to spend time at home rather than shuttling kids all over. Frankly, I think OP has a bit of a martyr complex.
And yeah, as I said, I think OP should probably leave the guy - because he is an ass. But if she wants to make a go of it, get rid of the things that are totally unnecessary and making her crazy. This is not child abuse. And yes, it is prioritizing the parents' time over the kids -- that is how it should be. People around here are so weird about kids' activities.
Anonymous wrote:A grown man "chilling", any way he wants ... while he financially supports his family ...
yes, he gets to "play on his phone". How much money do you make Op? How much money does he make Op? People need down time.
She already said she makes more than he does. You people have shockingly bad reading comprehension.
She later said the he makes more, but she had no idea how much money he was making or what he spends it on.
I don’t think that OP is aware enough to give any factual account of what happened. So, we only get how it makes her feel. She felt like she had to pay all of the bills, so she said she was the breadwinner. The actual numbers and paychecks were irrelevant.
This whole household sounds insane, and I’m sure that OP brings her fair share of the drama.
He was asked to interview for a position in his company that, according to him, is a 6 month trial with no pay raise, but it puts him in front of people like the CEO, and gives him management experience. It is VERY demanding, will have zero flexibility on scheduling, and will require travel. In his words, it could either make or break his career - if he does well, it could lead to a permanent position with a very significant pay raise, or if he does poorly, he will basically be stuck in his current role permanently.
I was blunt and told him that his time management sucks, he is lazy
There is a very obvious contradiction here. He would not even be considered for such a position if his time management sucks and he is lazy.
This just sounds like the standard DW whine that DH is not doing everything she wants exactly as she wants it done and (stamps foot) this means he is a good-for-nothing man-baby. Whatever. Go ahead and blow up your family because there are some dirty dishes on the counter.
🤦🏻♀️
Obviously written by a man.
Likely one who is very similar to the OP’s own hubby.
Anonymous wrote:I would get rid of this entire man. Unless he is a danger to your children, getting rid of him means he’s doing 50% of the childcare and you’re getting 50% of your life back, and doing 0% of his dishes or “coming up short on bills” nonsense.
That’s what I thought too when I separated. Kids don’t want to go with him ever so I still have them 100 pct and him hanging out with them at my house. Also guess who who pays for stuff when he is short on bills bc he spent impulsively on a kayak or a trip, otherwise kids don’t have what they need. At least he leaves eventually but it’s not much better. But still a bit better. Basically there is never overcoming having kids with a dud, unfortunately.
Anonymous wrote:Get rid of the dog. You don’t have the time or the money to take care of it.
Use the doggie daycare money to hire household help. Go to the grocery store and get some toilet paper and toothpaste.
Get rid of the Fair Play cards and stop trying to fix your marriage with internet pop psychology.
Accept that this is the husband you have and the marriage you have. Your marriage is never going to be the way you pictured it, and you can’t force it.
Apologize to your husband for calling him lazy and tell him that you believe in him and will support him with this job interview.
Be a giant doormat. Your husband is so useless you can't have anything nice, even a dog. Accept the mistreatment. Support him in a clearly terrible doormat.
Yeah no.
If that’s the way you want to see it.
The way I see it, there are two people in this relationship, and only one of them wants things to change. So, fair or not, that’s the person who has to change.
Wow. I pity you.
It’s hard to have any agency in your life if you won’t accept reality for what it is.
If she recognizes that he isn’t going to change, then she can get a better handle on managing her home and her finances. After that, she can decide whether to stay with him or divorce. She can introspect about why she chose a guy like this. She can actively manage her life instead of just letting things happen to her.
If she keeps following this advice to keep fighting, then she can’t do anything at all to improve her life until he decides to change. She is completely subject to his whims.
He was asked to interview for a position in his company that, according to him, is a 6 month trial with no pay raise, but it puts him in front of people like the CEO, and gives him management experience. It is VERY demanding, will have zero flexibility on scheduling, and will require travel. In his words, it could either make or break his career - if he does well, it could lead to a permanent position with a very significant pay raise, or if he does poorly, he will basically be stuck in his current role permanently.
I was blunt and told him that his time management sucks, he is lazy
There is a very obvious contradiction here. He would not even be considered for such a position if his time management sucks and he is lazy.
This just sounds like the standard DW whine that DH is not doing everything she wants exactly as she wants it done and (stamps foot) this means he is a good-for-nothing man-baby. Whatever. Go ahead and blow up your family because there are some dirty dishes on the counter.
Oh stop. We literally have zero toilet paper and have had to shower after pooping and I am using my kids’ toothpaste because H didn’t follow through on restocking when he volunteered for the task. Most days he either sleeps in until 10am, or locks himself in the bedroom in the evening to nap until 9pm. This is WAY beyond a few dishes left on the counter.
Are you an adult? Why not restock things yourself? You sound like a child. You would rather throw a tantrum than buy some toilet paper and toothpaste.
Whoosh. I cannot believe how clueless / obtuse some of you are.
He was asked to interview for a position in his company that, according to him, is a 6 month trial with no pay raise, but it puts him in front of people like the CEO, and gives him management experience. It is VERY demanding, will have zero flexibility on scheduling, and will require travel. In his words, it could either make or break his career - if he does well, it could lead to a permanent position with a very significant pay raise, or if he does poorly, he will basically be stuck in his current role permanently.
I was blunt and told him that his time management sucks, he is lazy
There is a very obvious contradiction here. He would not even be considered for such a position if his time management sucks and he is lazy.
This just sounds like the standard DW whine that DH is not doing everything she wants exactly as she wants it done and (stamps foot) this means he is a good-for-nothing man-baby. Whatever. Go ahead and blow up your family because there are some dirty dishes on the counter.
Oh stop. We literally have zero toilet paper and have had to shower after pooping and I am using my kids’ toothpaste because H didn’t follow through on restocking when he volunteered for the task. Most days he either sleeps in until 10am, or locks himself in the bedroom in the evening to nap until 9pm. This is WAY beyond a few dishes left on the counter.
Are you an adult? Why not restock things yourself? You sound like a child. You would rather throw a tantrum than buy some toilet paper and toothpaste.
Whoosh. I cannot believe how clueless / obtuse some of you are.
DP. This is how I read it as well. She doesn’t want to buy toilet paper because it isn’t her “job.”
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