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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "If H takes this job, it’s going to break me. "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Wait, op, this is your own behind and you haven’t gone and gotten some toilet paper? You would prefer to shower v. not have toilet paper.. at all?! You are an example of someone who can write really well and make what you’re doing sound normal, healthy, viable and correct, 15 pages and nobody has mentioned why you haven’t gotten toilet paper? Maybe you shouldn’t have to, but really? Something is very wrong with you.. there may be a lot wrong with your husband but something is very wrong with you. Again, this is toilet paper.. it’s not his gym bag, or his clothes, or things that won’t affect you, this is literally your ass that’s involved and you’d prefer to post. That is not at all normal, op. The dirty containers on the counter for *days*, this behavior is why some people truly hate shared walled living, nothing you can do about a neighbor who won’t do basic cleanup of their living space. Again, this isn’t old food in the fridge, this isn’t a trash can full of tissues, this is a place where maggots can live. It’s nasty and you just let it keep sitting there. As for your husband, it sounds more like he’s got a girlfriend, not a new job. No flexibility, no pay raise, travel, this is girlfriend material. Me, I’d keep the house sanitary which isn’t what you’re doing now, note I said sanitary not clean. I’d make sure the family had basic things. You’d have to do that if you were single too. I wouldn’t do anything to make your husband’s life easier, and I’d probably divorce him, but really op, if you won’t buy toilet paper to prove a point, I kind of think you and your husband deserve each other. [/quote] You're far behind the curve here. She's definitely been far too rigid about things like not getting TP herself because he refuses to do chores he agreed to do. But the whole "it's about housework" ship has sailed away from this thread. He is a drinker, whicih she mentioned much later, and it's come out that they almost simultaneously had a baby, he lost his job, and his father died. He's likely depressed, possibly bipolar since she describes "high highs and low lows," and neither of them has recognized that big picture due to the fixation on domestic chores. (At which he is still passive-aggressive and horrible, BTW.) She is seeing that bigger picture now, though. Previous posts about it before your post, PP. I think she knows by now this isn't actually about chore cards and her sticking to her guns over TP and toothpaste. They need to stock the house to the roof and start finding him serious medical intervention as well as help for his drinking. Your post focuses on stuff from way earlier in the discussion. OP -- if you're reading this -- have you found out the real deal wtih the no-raise, work travel, "trial" job position? Some of us here have mentioned it smells funny, as if maybe it's actually a performance improvement plan due to problems, not a trial for a promotion. [/quote]
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