Former Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax - murder/suicide?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really irritated by all the social media posts I'm seeing blaming the rape victims for this as though 1) they weren't actually telling the truth and 2) that somehow explains murder.

+1. The story goes that Justin Fairfax was so despondent over these “false allegations” that he “spiraled into mental illness” and then just had to kill the mother of his children. PUHLEESE. Murder suicide is not about mental illness, it’s about control. If I can’t have it, you can’t either.

Now that the 48 hours is up, let’s just say I had the ick on this guy and I feel vindicated. The way he made it absolutely clear that he felt entitled to the governorship after Northam’s blackface scandal came out as a matter of racial justice, all the while knowing he had multiple and more recent gender violence skeletons in his own closet, just struck me as so cynical and gross. This guy amplified Republican crap, lead the pile on, and went after an objectively decent man who was doing good for Virginians because it served his own ambitions.

Not to excuse what Northam did one bit, but the 80s in the South was a different time. The consensus on blackface being unequivocally bad is a relatively recent cultural development. He was caught flat footed and rightfully paid the price.

But we all knew rape and assault were bad in the 2000s.

Both men saw the end of their political careers, but Northam at least had a legacy of distinguished service to marginalized populations that he could fall back on. Fairfax apparently was a miserable, lying drunk whose own wife installed cameras in her home to protect herself.

It’s not like law firms shy away from aggressive lawyers with checkered pasts - people saw through this guy. All of his charm just hid the fact he was a narcissist who served no one it himself, and when people started to see that, he was cooked. Look at all the “friends” who wanted nothing to do with him after the scandal came out. Everyone suspected it was true.

All of this. He was a cowardly, rapey, murdering piece of sh*t. The mod of this site and other outlets are making up any and every excuse they can come up with because they too are tribal pieces of sh*t that will protect POC and Dems at all cost, even if that includes throwing women to their death.

+1 it’s gross.

+1

It is gross, but it’s 100% aligned with the current anti-woman bent of the Democrats. Just par for the course at this point.

Say the thugs who repeatedly bend over for a man who raped children and bragged about molesting beauty queens. Hit me again with your maternal deaths. Your bogus Bible literalism.

I’m a Democrat. And nobody said the Republicans were any better. You are just grasping for that immediately because you know it’s true the Democrats have enthusiastically leaned into misogyny. I mean, in this thread of all threads, you are going to reach for your talismanic prayer to Trump? You are proving the point.

What are you even talking about? And yeah right about being a Dem. You GOP thugs are salivating at the thought that it was a black Democrat who annihilated his family this time, and not another white conservative male with an arsenal.

You are a good example of a blue cultist, and why in polling the Democrats as a party remain less popular than the Republicans, even with a president as horrific as Trump.

Look at this thread. Look at it! It is an object lesson in Democratic failure and those of us who cling to some small hope of the Democrats maybe actively trying not to be genuinely awful are in despair. Of course I am a Democrat. I am just one who is profoundly disillusioned by the party, and this thread is a good object lesson in why. And I’m not alone. Outside of the blue cultists, the rest of Democrats are desperately trying to right the ship. People like you just want to sink it.

Absolutely. And true independents like DH and I will end up voting for the next Gary Johnson or whatever because neither party offers anything.

Np and I agree 100%.

The comments by people who proudly claim to be democrats are sickening.

I 100% do not understand the people saying this is an example of problems with Democrats. As soon as the allegations came out about Fairfax, the Dems dropped him like a hot potato. Unlike people on the right who continue to be embraced despite credible allegations. Dems don’t play with that sh-t. Even Franken, whom everyone liked and who was actually good at his job, got dumped.

Do you think it was a complete secret that he was an abusive jerk when the Democrats were initially promoting him? Like this is so, so surprising, goodness me nobody could have known?

It defies credibility. And this is a problem elsewhere in the party too. There were rumors about Swalwell’s behavior towards women for literally years, before he was even a representative. He got taken out by the party apparatus only now because the machine was afraid they’d lose California to the Republican with him on the race.

No, you are not going to convince me the Democrats care at all about the behaviors of their political candidates towards women. The party cares when they need to care, and at no other point.

So all Republicans would have to do is create bad-sounding whisper campaigns about promising young Democratic politicians and the party should just take them out of the running? What are you actually suggesting here?

DP. I guess everyone found out these were not some made up "whisper campaigns" when he killed her, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some real ogres on this thread.

Mrs. Fairfax is the victim. She likely was trying to do what was best for the kids. So sad.

Remember, at one time she loved him--maybe, she still did. Just proves that if a smart, educated woman cannot figure this out, how can those with fewer advantages?

Yes we know she was the victim. That is totally clear. And maybe this was the inevitable outcome no matter what she did. But I think it is really important for women to know that bad situations can get worse and nothing is worth staying with a spiraling or unstable man. Do what you can to get out even if it means living in a small apartment, your kids switching schools, whatever. Call a lawyer with DV experience and figure it out.

Stop. There is nothing to “figure out” here. She had a lawyer, she had a court proceeding, and the judge was more focused on giving her husband hype talks as if that man had anything good left to salvage, than protecting her.

There is a reason why women in this situation kidnap their kids and go into hiding - it’s because that is your only option. And for a woman who grew up dirt poor, I’m sure she wanted to do all she could to spare her children from that same fate.

She told friends her lawyer advised her she’d risk being found to have abandoned the home if she moved out.

Then she got bad legal advice. There is no legal requirement that you extend the misery of living with someone spiraling for years while a divorce moves forward. Or you prioritize your stability over the prospect that you could lose some equity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met him at a fundraiser. A neighbor of mine in Alexandria held in the run up to the Lieutenant Governor race. I knew within literally a nanosecond that he was a scumbag piece of shit alcoholic. But, in the interest of keeping my neighborhood drama free we still contributed to his campaign a token $50. When the allegations came out, my neighbor didn’t say a word. When the whispers of his alcoholism and abuse of his wife came out. My neighbor didn’t say a word. Now that Justin has murdered his wife and killed himself in front of his children, leaving them as orphans, my neighbor still has not said a word. Some people are just so disgusting. It’s hard to comprehend.

How did you know?

Not the PP, but I learned pretty early on in my career that narcissists present differently depending on how they value you as a person (in other words, how useful you can be to them). Some are so self-centered they even forget how poorly they treated you before, when you were useless to them, when they come back with full charm on because you control a matter or a budget or something they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some real ogres on this thread.

Mrs. Fairfax is the victim. She likely was trying to do what was best for the kids. So sad.

Remember, at one time she loved him--maybe, she still did. Just proves that if a smart, educated woman cannot figure this out, how can those with fewer advantages?

Yes we know she was the victim. That is totally clear. And maybe this was the inevitable outcome no matter what she did. But I think it is really important for women to know that bad situations can get worse and nothing is worth staying with a spiraling or unstable man. Do what you can to get out even if it means living in a small apartment, your kids switching schools, whatever. Call a lawyer with DV experience and figure it out.

Stop. There is nothing to “figure out” here. She had a lawyer, she had a court proceeding, and the judge was more focused on giving her husband hype talks as if that man had anything good left to salvage, than protecting her.

There is a reason why women in this situation kidnap their kids and go into hiding - it’s because that is your only option. And for a woman who grew up dirt poor, I’m sure she wanted to do all she could to spare her children from that same fate.

She told friends her lawyer advised her she’d risk being found to have abandoned the home if she moved out.

Then she got bad legal advice. There is no legal requirement that you extend the misery of living with someone spiraling for years while a divorce moves forward. Or you prioritize your stability over the prospect that you could lose some equity.

If your spouse started abusing you, you would probably do the same thing. That’s the crux here. You’re so worried about you, you are projecting blame on to her. Please stop. And see a shrink, because you have problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really irritated by all the social media posts I'm seeing blaming the rape victims for this as though 1) they weren't actually telling the truth and 2) that somehow explains murder.

+1. The story goes that Justin Fairfax was so despondent over these “false allegations” that he “spiraled into mental illness” and then just had to kill the mother of his children. PUHLEESE. Murder suicide is not about mental illness, it’s about control. If I can’t have it, you can’t either.

Now that the 48 hours is up, let’s just say I had the ick on this guy and I feel vindicated. The way he made it absolutely clear that he felt entitled to the governorship after Northam’s blackface scandal came out as a matter of racial justice, all the while knowing he had multiple and more recent gender violence skeletons in his own closet, just struck me as so cynical and gross. This guy amplified Republican crap, lead the pile on, and went after an objectively decent man who was doing good for Virginians because it served his own ambitions.

Not to excuse what Northam did one bit, but the 80s in the South was a different time. The consensus on blackface being unequivocally bad is a relatively recent cultural development. He was caught flat footed and rightfully paid the price.

But we all knew rape and assault were bad in the 2000s.

Both men saw the end of their political careers, but Northam at least had a legacy of distinguished service to marginalized populations that he could fall back on. Fairfax apparently was a miserable, lying drunk whose own wife installed cameras in her home to protect herself.

It’s not like law firms shy away from aggressive lawyers with checkered pasts - people saw through this guy. All of his charm just hid the fact he was a narcissist who served no one it himself, and when people started to see that, he was cooked. Look at all the “friends” who wanted nothing to do with him after the scandal came out. Everyone suspected it was true.

All of this. He was a cowardly, rapey, murdering piece of sh*t. The mod of this site and other outlets are making up any and every excuse they can come up with because they too are tribal pieces of sh*t that will protect POC and Dems at all cost, even if that includes throwing women to their death.

+1 it’s gross.

+1

It is gross, but it’s 100% aligned with the current anti-woman bent of the Democrats. Just par for the course at this point.

Say the thugs who repeatedly bend over for a man who raped children and bragged about molesting beauty queens. Hit me again with your maternal deaths. Your bogus Bible literalism.

I’m a Democrat. And nobody said the Republicans were any better. You are just grasping for that immediately because you know it’s true the Democrats have enthusiastically leaned into misogyny. I mean, in this thread of all threads, you are going to reach for your talismanic prayer to Trump? You are proving the point.

What are you even talking about? And yeah right about being a Dem. You GOP thugs are salivating at the thought that it was a black Democrat who annihilated his family this time, and not another white conservative male with an arsenal.

You are a good example of a blue cultist, and why in polling the Democrats as a party remain less popular than the Republicans, even with a president as horrific as Trump.

Look at this thread. Look at it! It is an object lesson in Democratic failure and those of us who cling to some small hope of the Democrats maybe actively trying not to be genuinely awful are in despair. Of course I am a Democrat. I am just one who is profoundly disillusioned by the party, and this thread is a good object lesson in why. And I’m not alone. Outside of the blue cultists, the rest of Democrats are desperately trying to right the ship. People like you just want to sink it.

Absolutely. And true independents like DH and I will end up voting for the next Gary Johnson or whatever because neither party offers anything.

Np and I agree 100%.

The comments by people who proudly claim to be democrats are sickening.

I 100% do not understand the people saying this is an example of problems with Democrats. As soon as the allegations came out about Fairfax, the Dems dropped him like a hot potato. Unlike people on the right who continue to be embraced despite credible allegations. Dems don’t play with that sh-t. Even Franken, whom everyone liked and who was actually good at his job, got dumped.

Do you think it was a complete secret that he was an abusive jerk when the Democrats were initially promoting him? Like this is so, so surprising, goodness me nobody could have known?

It defies credibility. And this is a problem elsewhere in the party too. There were rumors about Swalwell’s behavior towards women for literally years, before he was even a representative. He got taken out by the party apparatus only now because the machine was afraid they’d lose California to the Republican with him on the race.

No, you are not going to convince me the Democrats care at all about the behaviors of their political candidates towards women. The party cares when they need to care, and at no other point.

So all Republicans would have to do is create bad-sounding whisper campaigns about promising young Democratic politicians and the party should just take them out of the running? What are you actually suggesting here?

DP. I guess everyone found out these were not some made up "whisper campaigns" when he killed her, huh?

Sounds like you would go right along with the Republican strategy for taking out the future Democratic talent pipeline. Well done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sad! She was a smart, accomplished woman, and those poor kids will need therapy for life.

Fairfax was such a disgusting opportunist and I found the rape allegations against him very credible ( I remember the WaPo did an in-depth investigation and interviewed one of his victims)

I guess his wife didn’t believe the victim?

His wife was a victim too.

The allegations came out in 2019 for alleged assaults in the early 2000’s.

So? It appears Fairfax was abusing his wife for years to the point she installed cameras in her home. We all first learned about when HE KILLED HER.

There were huge, obvious red flags. Which we ALL knew about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some real ogres on this thread.

Mrs. Fairfax is the victim. She likely was trying to do what was best for the kids. So sad.

Remember, at one time she loved him--maybe, she still did. Just proves that if a smart, educated woman cannot figure this out, how can those with fewer advantages?

Yes we know she was the victim. That is totally clear. And maybe this was the inevitable outcome no matter what she did. But I think it is really important for women to know that bad situations can get worse and nothing is worth staying with a spiraling or unstable man. Do what you can to get out even if it means living in a small apartment, your kids switching schools, whatever. Call a lawyer with DV experience and figure it out.

Stop. There is nothing to “figure out” here. She had a lawyer, she had a court proceeding, and the judge was more focused on giving her husband hype talks as if that man had anything good left to salvage, than protecting her.

There is a reason why women in this situation kidnap their kids and go into hiding - it’s because that is your only option. And for a woman who grew up dirt poor, I’m sure she wanted to do all she could to spare her children from that same fate.

She told friends her lawyer advised her she’d risk being found to have abandoned the home if she moved out.

Her lawyer was correct. It was absolutely a risk. And she might not even have a home to come back to considering he had zero income and hundreds of thousands in debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some real ogres on this thread.

Mrs. Fairfax is the victim. She likely was trying to do what was best for the kids. So sad.

Remember, at one time she loved him--maybe, she still did. Just proves that if a smart, educated woman cannot figure this out, how can those with fewer advantages?

Yes we know she was the victim. That is totally clear. And maybe this was the inevitable outcome no matter what she did. But I think it is really important for women to know that bad situations can get worse and nothing is worth staying with a spiraling or unstable man. Do what you can to get out even if it means living in a small apartment, your kids switching schools, whatever. Call a lawyer with DV experience and figure it out.

Stop. There is nothing to “figure out” here. She had a lawyer, she had a court proceeding, and the judge was more focused on giving her husband hype talks as if that man had anything good left to salvage, than protecting her.

There is a reason why women in this situation kidnap their kids and go into hiding - it’s because that is your only option. And for a woman who grew up dirt poor, I’m sure she wanted to do all she could to spare her children from that same fate.

She told friends her lawyer advised her she’d risk being found to have abandoned the home if she moved out.

Then she got bad legal advice. There is no legal requirement that you extend the misery of living with someone spiraling for years while a divorce moves forward. Or you prioritize your stability over the prospect that you could lose some equity.

You all are acting like you for sure knew this would be the outcome ex ante? There are enough horror stories that don’t involve death in the other direction that people have had to live with. You’re nothing but a lame, post-hoc clairvoyant spitting on a dead woman’s hardly cold ashes because you “know better”. Buzz off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:48 hours is over.


I met Justin Fairfax for the first time in August of 2017, and within 30 seconds of that, I knew he was an a-hole. He was on the way up back then, and you could still feel it. I wouldn’t have pegged him as a murderer, but I’m also not even a little bit surprised. I think the term I’ve heard for people like him is “malignant narcissist” - and it’s highly befitting him.

I feel totally validated.

I never met him but agree with you about his persona— he reminded me of the Kennedys. Wealthy, politically connected parents and a son who felt the rules did not apply to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some real ogres on this thread.

Mrs. Fairfax is the victim. She likely was trying to do what was best for the kids. So sad.

Remember, at one time she loved him--maybe, she still did. Just proves that if a smart, educated woman cannot figure this out, how can those with fewer advantages?

Yes we know she was the victim. That is totally clear. And maybe this was the inevitable outcome no matter what she did. But I think it is really important for women to know that bad situations can get worse and nothing is worth staying with a spiraling or unstable man. Do what you can to get out even if it means living in a small apartment, your kids switching schools, whatever. Call a lawyer with DV experience and figure it out.

Stop. There is nothing to “figure out” here. She had a lawyer, she had a court proceeding, and the judge was more focused on giving her husband hype talks as if that man had anything good left to salvage, than protecting her.

There is a reason why women in this situation kidnap their kids and go into hiding - it’s because that is your only option. And for a woman who grew up dirt poor, I’m sure she wanted to do all she could to spare her children from that same fate.

She told friends her lawyer advised her she’d risk being found to have abandoned the home if she moved out.

Then she got bad legal advice. There is no legal requirement that you extend the misery of living with someone spiraling for years while a divorce moves forward. Or you prioritize your stability over the prospect that you could lose some equity.

If your spouse started abusing you, you would probably do the same thing. That’s the crux here. You’re so worried about you, you are projecting blame on to her. Please stop. And see a shrink, because you have problems.

What? No. I was in a mildly abusive situation and my friend was in a worse one. Neither of us prioritized some small gain in financial outcomes over getting away from our ex. It is not blaming Celina to say she was poorly advised. It is helping other women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sad! She was a smart, accomplished woman, and those poor kids will need therapy for life.

Fairfax was such a disgusting opportunist and I found the rape allegations against him very credible ( I remember the WaPo did an in-depth investigation and interviewed one of his victims)

I guess his wife didn’t believe the victim?

His wife was a victim too.

The allegations came out in 2019 for alleged assaults in the early 2000’s.

So? It appears Fairfax was abusing his wife for years to the point she installed cameras in her home. We all first learned about when HE KILLED HER.

There were huge, obvious red flags. Which we ALL knew about

And nothing was done about it. I was responding to the PP who seemed to be arguing that because the sex assault allegations were old, that they must have been false, or they didn’t count.

Justin and I are contemporaries. I went to college around the same time he did. If those women accused him of rape or sexual assault immediately after it happened, they would have paid the price, not him. People still bend over backwards to protect “promising young men” from the consequences of the violence they inflict on women. There was an award winning movie by Emerald Fennell to that exact point.

The time was right for those allegations in more ways than one. Not only politically, but the fact that “me too” had started to really gain steam and people did not reflexively blame women for rape. I seriously hope that time will come for DV because there are a lot of people on this board blaming Dr Fairfax for not doing enough to not be murdered, or insinuating that suffering the consequences of your own actions against two other women is an acceptable justification for killing your wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met him at a fundraiser. A neighbor of mine in Alexandria held in the run up to the Lieutenant Governor race. I knew within literally a nanosecond that he was a scumbag piece of shit alcoholic. But, in the interest of keeping my neighborhood drama free we still contributed to his campaign a token $50. When the allegations came out, my neighbor didn’t say a word. When the whispers of his alcoholism and abuse of his wife came out. My neighbor didn’t say a word. Now that Justin has murdered his wife and killed himself in front of his children, leaving them as orphans, my neighbor still has not said a word. Some people are just so disgusting. It’s hard to comprehend.

What do you want your neighbor to say? How odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some real ogres on this thread.

Mrs. Fairfax is the victim. She likely was trying to do what was best for the kids. So sad.

Remember, at one time she loved him--maybe, she still did. Just proves that if a smart, educated woman cannot figure this out, how can those with fewer advantages?

Yes we know she was the victim. That is totally clear. And maybe this was the inevitable outcome no matter what she did. But I think it is really important for women to know that bad situations can get worse and nothing is worth staying with a spiraling or unstable man. Do what you can to get out even if it means living in a small apartment, your kids switching schools, whatever. Call a lawyer with DV experience and figure it out.

Stop. There is nothing to “figure out” here. She had a lawyer, she had a court proceeding, and the judge was more focused on giving her husband hype talks as if that man had anything good left to salvage, than protecting her.

There is a reason why women in this situation kidnap their kids and go into hiding - it’s because that is your only option. And for a woman who grew up dirt poor, I’m sure she wanted to do all she could to spare her children from that same fate.

She told friends her lawyer advised her she’d risk being found to have abandoned the home if she moved out.

Her lawyer was correct. It was absolutely a risk. And she might not even have a home to come back to considering he had zero income and hundreds of thousands in debt.

A risk of what exactly? Please back that up with facts and reported cases. There is zero way a competent family law attorney tells a woman in an abusive/unstable household that she cannot leave the home. If someone told her that they should be brought up on bar charges. The fact is that leaving the marital home in Virginia does nothing at all wrt to the ownership interest, but it may be grounds for fault in a divorce. But if you are facing a truly dysfunctional situation (even if not abusive) then you need to prioritize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some real ogres on this thread.

Mrs. Fairfax is the victim. She likely was trying to do what was best for the kids. So sad.

Remember, at one time she loved him--maybe, she still did. Just proves that if a smart, educated woman cannot figure this out, how can those with fewer advantages?

Yes we know she was the victim. That is totally clear. And maybe this was the inevitable outcome no matter what she did. But I think it is really important for women to know that bad situations can get worse and nothing is worth staying with a spiraling or unstable man. Do what you can to get out even if it means living in a small apartment, your kids switching schools, whatever. Call a lawyer with DV experience and figure it out.

Stop. There is nothing to “figure out” here. She had a lawyer, she had a court proceeding, and the judge was more focused on giving her husband hype talks as if that man had anything good left to salvage, than protecting her.

There is a reason why women in this situation kidnap their kids and go into hiding - it’s because that is your only option. And for a woman who grew up dirt poor, I’m sure she wanted to do all she could to spare her children from that same fate.

She told friends her lawyer advised her she’d risk being found to have abandoned the home if she moved out.

Then she got bad legal advice. There is no legal requirement that you extend the misery of living with someone spiraling for years while a divorce moves forward. Or you prioritize your stability over the prospect that you could lose some equity.

If your spouse started abusing you, you would probably do the same thing. That’s the crux here. You’re so worried about you, you are projecting blame on to her. Please stop. And see a shrink, because you have problems.

What? No. I was in a mildly abusive situation and my friend was in a worse one. Neither of us prioritized some small gain in financial outcomes over getting away from our ex. It is not blaming Celina to say she was poorly advised. It is helping other women.

Way to be vague with the details. I’m sure it was exactly the same dynamics as this case with children, a prominent, politically connected abuser, etc.

“Small gain in financial outcomes”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are some real ogres on this thread.

Mrs. Fairfax is the victim. She likely was trying to do what was best for the kids. So sad.

Remember, at one time she loved him--maybe, she still did. Just proves that if a smart, educated woman cannot figure this out, how can those with fewer advantages?

Yes we know she was the victim. That is totally clear. And maybe this was the inevitable outcome no matter what she did. But I think it is really important for women to know that bad situations can get worse and nothing is worth staying with a spiraling or unstable man. Do what you can to get out even if it means living in a small apartment, your kids switching schools, whatever. Call a lawyer with DV experience and figure it out.

Stop. There is nothing to “figure out” here. She had a lawyer, she had a court proceeding, and the judge was more focused on giving her husband hype talks as if that man had anything good left to salvage, than protecting her.

There is a reason why women in this situation kidnap their kids and go into hiding - it’s because that is your only option. And for a woman who grew up dirt poor, I’m sure she wanted to do all she could to spare her children from that same fate.

She told friends her lawyer advised her she’d risk being found to have abandoned the home if she moved out.

Then she got bad legal advice. There is no legal requirement that you extend the misery of living with someone spiraling for years while a divorce moves forward. Or you prioritize your stability over the prospect that you could lose some equity.

If your spouse started abusing you, you would probably do the same thing. That’s the crux here. You’re so worried about you, you are projecting blame on to her. Please stop. And see a shrink, because you have problems.

What? No. I was in a mildly abusive situation and my friend was in a worse one. Neither of us prioritized some small gain in financial outcomes over getting away from our ex. It is not blaming Celina to say she was poorly advised. It is helping other women.

Way to be vague with the details. I’m sure it was exactly the same dynamics as this case with children, a prominent, politically connected abuser, etc.

“Small gain in financial outcomes”

I knew enough to know that you don’t lose the right to property just because you move out. It’s just false to say that.