Former Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax - murder/suicide?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

It’s time to end “at fault” divorce, since that’s what leads to the doctrine of abandonment that was probably why she felt forced to stay. Then we end the year long waiting period for people with kids. Adults know their minds - if they go through the hassle of filing paperwork let them finish what they started.

After that, we make domestic violence a felony punishable by death or a recognized grounds for self-defense. As in, you hit your wife, she has the right to shoot you whenever and however and she walks free with a claim for pain and suffering against his estate. These men (yeah, not all men, but mostly men bro) are completely irredeemable. Everyone is better off if they’re dead. There, I said it.

Agree but even in no fault states women stay too long. I stayed too long and wasn’t even married.

Ok? Did you have kids or assets to protect? Few states actively punish people who defend themselves, and Virginia is one of them.

You literally don’t know what your are talking about. Anyone in this situation needs to consult a lawyer with the goal of getting away from your dysfunctional husband ASSP. Don’t let it fester.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

I’m not saying she should have just left. but the law does not force you to stay in the same house. She could have left.

Child abandonment. Her intent would be an affirmative defense in court.

Ffs just stop. There are legal ways to leave - do you think everyone just stays in the same house with their spouse the whole duration of a divorce? No, they get emergency/temporary orders if they cannot agree on a temporary custody plan.

You have no idea how lawfare works in this state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

I’m not saying she should have just left. but the law does not force you to stay in the same house. She could have left.

Child abandonment. Her intent would be an affirmative defense in court.

Ffs just stop. There are legal ways to leave - do you think everyone just stays in the same house with their spouse the whole duration of a divorce? No, they get emergency/temporary orders if they cannot agree on a temporary custody plan.

You have no idea how lawfare works in this state.

I’m not sure what you hope to achieve by perpetuity a myth that women are powerless to leave their marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

I’m not saying she should have just left. but the law does not force you to stay in the same house. She could have left.

Child abandonment. Her intent would be an affirmative defense in court.

Ffs just stop. There are legal ways to leave - do you think everyone just stays in the same house with their spouse the whole duration of a divorce? No, they get emergency/temporary orders if they cannot agree on a temporary custody plan.

You have no idea how lawfare works in this state.

I’m not sure what you hope to achieve by perpetuity a myth that women are powerless to leave their marriages.

DP, and women are not powerless. However it's WAY harder than it should be. Even WSJ recently wrote up an article on just how much quality of life changes, even though offically the goal is to keep at least the kids in their same standard of living.

The saying is "jerks are the price we pay for a free society" and the family court system gives jerks an awful lot of power in the name of protecting their rights. It's just fact. It's fact documented by researchers at Georgetown Law here in our own backyards, even, in paper after paper and study after study.

Try living through that. I have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

But see, you're confused about what domestic violence is, because it's not just hitting. The reason people are going to coercive control / DV / IPV / whatever you want to call it is that it's so much more common than the other form of assault, which is a one-off completely lost his cool in anger thing. Like so much more common. But it's often emotional and verbal and hidden. The only people living who know if Justin Fairfax was a coercive controller are his kids, and the only people who should be asking them about that are licensed mental health professionals. There's a chance that he really did just snap. But it's actually way less common than people think. Especially given his addiction, which is highly correlated with abusive behavior. Not just physical, but mental and emotional.

The only way our jacked up family court system is going to change is if the myths around how these situations work die.

And here's one good write-up by an expert:
https://dremmakatz.com/coercive-control/explaining-coercive-control-to-people-who-dont-quite-get-it-a-series/

A quote:

Myth 1: When it comes to domestic violence and abuse, the incidents of physical violence are the most important thing

Survivors often get told many hurtful and harmful things based on this myth, for example:

‘they didn’t hit you very much or cause major injuries so the abuse wasn’t that bad’;

‘they haven’t hit you for quite a long time, so the abuse is over’;

‘they never hit you so there was no abuse’;

‘Because you weren’t subjected to severe, frequent violence, you weren’t justified in complaining about the abuse or fighting back physically or verbally against your abuser’;

‘we can’t help you with the stalking, economic abuse, or the weaponization of your children. Come back if they hit you, then we’ll do something’.

The reality

Coercive control is a highly serious, damaging, potentially life-destroying form of abuse in its own right. Some coercive controllers are very physically violent, perhaps causing injuries that might require hospitalisation. Others are violent at a lower level; for example, their violence takes the form of slapping, pushing, shoving and hair pulling. Meanwhile, some are not physically violent at all.

Does this mean the less violent ones are less harmful? No. Coercive control perpetrators’ tactics vary based on their resources and personalities, and they tailor their approach to their abuse based on what they think will work best. Sinister, isn’t it? The coercive control perpetrator’s ultimate goal is to completely subordinate and subjugate the victim-survivor. So if they judge that being highly controlling and very violent is the best way to completely subordinate and subjugate the victim-survivor, this is what they’ll do. If they judge that it is best to be highly controlling but not violent at all, then that is what they’ll do.

Remember, being violent carries risks for the perpetrator: It is a very obvious act of abuse that they might be punished for. So if a perpetrator can achieve their goal of completely subordinating and subjugating the victim-survivor without using much, or any, physical violence, that is often what they will do. Some perpetrators are more skillful and clever than others at strategizing and carrying out their plans. Sometimes the least violent ones are the most successful at meeting their abhorrent goal of subjugating and subordinating the victim-survivor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is domestic violence. He did not hurt his children

You think his kids feel no pain from the murder of their mother and the suicide of their father?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Heartbreaking.
What was his BAC when he pulled the trigger?
The laws that should've protected her and the kids = too little, too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is domestic violence. He did not hurt his children

You think his kids feel no pain from the murder of their mother and the suicide of their father?

NP here. Agreed. Kids feel pain from the moment they witness heated arguments between their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Which means that she could leave with kids and live with them separate and apart while divorce is pending. She had primary physical custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Which means that she could leave with kids and live with them separate and apart while divorce is pending. She had primary physical custody.

She wasn't awarded primary physical custody until a week before he murdered her. Are you kidding me?

[Anonymous]

Where was his family in getting him help/ intervening? There are stories of his wife’s stepfather intervening, but he had a mother and siblings with resources. Why didn’t they step in to help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where was his family in getting him help/ intervening? There are stories of his wife’s stepfather intervening, but he had a mother and siblings with resources. Why didn’t they step in to help?

If the family was anything like him they were probably enablers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Which means that she could leave with kids and live with them separate and apart while divorce is pending. She had primary physical custody.

Fairfax had visitation rights. She had to keep in contact and make the children available. She couldn't deny him access.