Former Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax - murder/suicide?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Which means that she could leave with kids and live with them separate and apart while divorce is pending. She had primary physical custody.

Fairfax had visitation rights. She had to keep in contact and make the children available. She couldn't deny him access.

What an ordeal for her having to be in contact with him. Children were already psychologically hurt by their father’s behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where was his family in getting him help/ intervening? There are stories of his wife’s stepfather intervening, but he had a mother and siblings with resources. Why didn’t they step in to help?

Typically this is not effective. The alcoholic has to want to get help in order for rehab to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Which means that she could leave with kids and live with them separate and apart while divorce is pending. She had primary physical custody.

Fairfax had visitation rights. She had to keep in contact and make the children available. She couldn't deny him access.

What an ordeal for her having to be in contact with him. Children were already psychologically hurt by their father’s behavior.

I am sure someone on this board thinks Fairfax was a strong, male role model that these children needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Which means that she could leave with kids and live with them separate and apart while divorce is pending. She had primary physical custody.

Fairfax had visitation rights. She had to keep in contact and make the children available. She couldn't deny him access.

What an ordeal for her having to be in contact with him. Children were already psychologically hurt by their father’s behavior.

It is vanishingly rare that women don't have to be in contact with their abusers if they share children. In Virginia the court has a presumption towards joint custody absent evidence of family abuse, and all the custody factors can be weighed however a judge wants. This is why victim/survivors in family court are so, so jaded about the system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where was his family in getting him help/ intervening? There are stories of his wife’s stepfather intervening, but he had a mother and siblings with resources. Why didn’t they step in to help?

Typically this is not effective. The alcoholic has to want to get help in order for rehab to work.

And even when addicts stop drinking, the statistics on them no longer engaging in abusive behavior (emotional and even physical) are pretty bad. Only about 8% of abusers truly change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where was his family in getting him help/ intervening? There are stories of his wife’s stepfather intervening, but he had a mother and siblings with resources. Why didn’t they step in to help?

Typically this is not effective. The alcoholic has to want to get help in order for rehab to work.

And even when addicts stop drinking, the statistics on them no longer engaging in abusive behavior (emotional and even physical) are pretty bad. Only about 8% of abusers truly change.

Which is why the death penalty really is appropriate here. Except too many men are afraid they’d get caught up in the law from “innocently” beating their wives after she “provoked” him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where was his family in getting him help/ intervening? There are stories of his wife’s stepfather intervening, but he had a mother and siblings with resources. Why didn’t they step in to help?

Typically this is not effective. The alcoholic has to want to get help in order for rehab to work.

And even when addicts stop drinking, the statistics on them no longer engaging in abusive behavior (emotional and even physical) are pretty bad. Only about 8% of abusers truly change.

Which is why the death penalty really is appropriate here. Except too many men are afraid they’d get caught up in the law from “innocently” beating their wives after she “provoked” him.

Given how much abuse is non-physical, that's a really big jump. Maybe if you limit it to the outside of the power and control wheel (here: https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/), but the behaviors on the inside are actually just as damaging not just mentally/emotionally but also physically. For example did you know there's a direct correlation shown over multiple studies between abuse and autoimmune disorders in women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could there be processes that get guns temporarily confiscated during family law proceedings if there has been red flag behaviors like alcoholism and fights? Just getting rid of the easy access might help in situations like this.

Virginia has red flag laws. But someone has to feel comfortable making the report without fear of retaliation. The person responsible for half your kids' tuition and the mortgage - you comfortable reporting on them?

She was a dentist, FFS. Of course she could afford to walk away, rent a small apartment, either cover kids' tuition by herself or put them into public school for a period of divorce. This is really bothers me - according to the article, she knew he purchased the gun in 2022. She knew for at least several months he was heavy drinker. She knew that he does not value human lives. Why was she staying in the same house with him?

DV survivor. No you absolutely cannot do this. It's called kidnapping and a court would eviscerate you for taking such drastic actions. An abusive partner will use the courts to attempt to take the kids from you too.

+1. You are often advised to not leave the house. And then parents are often awarded 50/50 custody. So a worry of a lot of parents is that the other one has the kids in a bad situation alone. That’s not good either. We are all just guessing and either way- this situation is terrible for those children. Don’t look back and say why didn’t she do this. That’s not helpful to the kids.

I know nothing about the actual situation. But it is absolutely incorrect to say that a domestic violence victim cannot legally move out with the kids. Please consult actual lawyers and DV advocates, not the internet.

The previous poster was advising kidnapping the kids

It’s not “kidnapping” if you are protecting the kids from imminent violence and/or you get emergency custody orders. And yes consult with lawyers.

I have been in a similar situation and did consult multiple lawyers and the law works against keeping women and children safe in these situations. I also couldn’t just disappear and change our identity. I had to keep working so that my kids had a roof over their heads and childcare and food, etc. My husband also had access to multiple guns, a diagnosed mental health disorder, and many other risk factors for violence, and I was still told that I had to work with him to make a plan for him to see the kids. The judge (in Virginia) told me, when I applied for a restraining order, that he had to follow the Virginia code and it specified that he would need to see evidence of blood, broken bones, or other injuries. Just being scared that violence will occur doesn’t count. You have to wait for the violence to occur to get the restraining order and hope that it is not fatal. And then even if you have a restraining order, a determined man will usually find a way to assault or kill a woman if he wants to, because the court forces her to interact with him when there is shared custody (which there always is, unless the father doesn’t want it, and they usually do so that they can continue to use the kids to exert control over the mother. Abusive husbands are equally or abusive during separation and after divorce. It doesn’t stop. These men destroy women’s lives and there are days when I have wished for death over dealing with my ex’s abuse for the remainder of his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Which means that she could leave with kids and live with them separate and apart while divorce is pending. She had primary physical custody.

Fairfax had visitation rights. She had to keep in contact and make the children available. She couldn't deny him access.

Relocating to a rented apartment a 2 miles away does not equal denying access to the children. Many couples share children all the time. But I believe living separately (truly separately, not at the same house) would take an edge off and de-escalate any anger between the couples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Which means that she could leave with kids and live with them separate and apart while divorce is pending. She had primary physical custody.

Fairfax had visitation rights. She had to keep in contact and make the children available. She couldn't deny him access.

Relocating to a rented apartment a 2 miles away does not equal denying access to the children. Many couples share children all the time. But I believe living separately (truly separately, not at the same house) would take an edge off and de-escalate any anger between the couples.

When he asks to visit the children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Which means that she could leave with kids and live with them separate and apart while divorce is pending. She had primary physical custody.

Fairfax had visitation rights. She had to keep in contact and make the children available. She couldn't deny him access.

Relocating to a rented apartment a 2 miles away does not equal denying access to the children. Many couples share children all the time. But I believe living separately (truly separately, not at the same house) would take an edge off and de-escalate any anger between the couples.

How do you all seem to not understand that the trigger for the murder was him being forced to move out? Like no, moving out was not going to de-escalate that homicidal situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Which means that she could leave with kids and live with them separate and apart while divorce is pending. She had primary physical custody.

Fairfax had visitation rights. She had to keep in contact and make the children available. She couldn't deny him access.

Relocating to a rented apartment a 2 miles away does not equal denying access to the children. Many couples share children all the time. But I believe living separately (truly separately, not at the same house) would take an edge off and de-escalate any anger between the couples.

How do you all seem to not understand that the trigger for the murder was him being forced to move out? Like no, moving out was not going to de-escalate that homicidal situation.

I don’t think any of us know. But ending things sooner rather than later and separating households might have turned out better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Which means that she could leave with kids and live with them separate and apart while divorce is pending. She had primary physical custody.

Fairfax had visitation rights. She had to keep in contact and make the children available. She couldn't deny him access.

Relocating to a rented apartment a 2 miles away does not equal denying access to the children. Many couples share children all the time. But I believe living separately (truly separately, not at the same house) would take an edge off and de-escalate any anger between the couples.

How do you all seem to not understand that the trigger for the murder was him being forced to move out? Like no, moving out was not going to de-escalate that homicidal situation.

I don’t think any of us know. But ending things sooner rather than later and separating households might have turned out better.

...and? WHY are we blaming the victim following the advice if her lawyer and the law.

WHY aren't we changing the law?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Which means that she could leave with kids and live with them separate and apart while divorce is pending. She had primary physical custody.

Fairfax had visitation rights. She had to keep in contact and make the children available. She couldn't deny him access.

Relocating to a rented apartment a 2 miles away does not equal denying access to the children. Many couples share children all the time. But I believe living separately (truly separately, not at the same house) would take an edge off and de-escalate any anger between the couples.

How do you all seem to not understand that the trigger for the murder was him being forced to move out? Like no, moving out was not going to de-escalate that homicidal situation.

I don’t think any of us know. But ending things sooner rather than later and separating households might have turned out better.

...and? WHY are we blaming the victim following the advice if her lawyer and the law.

WHY aren't we changing the law?

It’s not blaming the victim. This kind of stuff needs to be discussed openly instead of being shut down. I doubt the lawyer told her she had no other alternative than prolonging a bad situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot understand why people insist on revising history when a tragedy like this takes place.

I've not seen any evidence whatsoever that Justin was an abuser and that Cerina was a domestic violence victim. The only physical violence documented in the divorce records is of Cerina hitting him. There are dozens of examples of him being a shitty human and an alcoholic. But that's not being an abuser and that isn't domestic violence.

Cerina's bestie went on record saying that Cerina was not afraid of him, and that she'd agreed to leave immediately if she ever did feel frightened. She wasn't a victim. All indications are that she was strong and stable as she fought for what she wanted in the divorce.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15744657/justin-fairfax-estranged-wife-shooting.html

Why is it that we have to create these false stories about her being a DV victim in order to make sense of a tragedy like this? The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Access to a handgun when someone is depressed and drinking and undergoing a hotly contested divorce or another of life's most stressful moments leads to disaster.

Weird take. If she wasn’t scared of him she obviously should have been. And the broader point is that no amount of advantage in a divorce is worth your household devolving into a War of the Roses scenario with surveillance cameras and cabinet locks and one spouse locked in a room drunk with a gun. I am NOT blaming her because I also let things go way too far including physically in my divorce. In Cerina’s honor let’s figure out how to enable women to get out ASAP.

If Cerina left taking the kids, Fairfax would have pressed charges for parental abduction. He's was still a lawyer and knew the system. She would have been found guilty and spent a year in jail. It's not like she could afford a decent lawyer.

Not true. If there is no custody order in place, then it is not parental abduction.

The judge granted primary custody to his wife, Cerina Fairfax, with visitation rights for Justin contingent upon passing Breathalyzer tests before and after seeing the children.

Which means that she could leave with kids and live with them separate and apart while divorce is pending. She had primary physical custody.

Fairfax had visitation rights. She had to keep in contact and make the children available. She couldn't deny him access.

Relocating to a rented apartment a 2 miles away does not equal denying access to the children. Many couples share children all the time. But I believe living separately (truly separately, not at the same house) would take an edge off and de-escalate any anger between the couples.

How do you all seem to not understand that the trigger for the murder was him being forced to move out? Like no, moving out was not going to de-escalate that homicidal situation.

I don’t think any of us know. But ending things sooner rather than later and separating households might have turned out better.

“Ending things” immediately preceded her murder, so there is no reasonable inference that ending things earlier would have led to a better outcome.