The amount of people living subsidized by their parents is astounding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m one of those people – my parents gift me the $36,000 max every year. Why do you care?

Everyone’s dealt a different hand in life. I have that annual gift but had issues with mental health in the past which mean that I’ll never work the type of jobs that pay more than $100-$150K per year.

I don’t think the OP is referring to people like you. More like the example above where the parents clearly purchased a multi-million home for their kid and pay private tuition for the grandkids.

Dude even $36k a year in gifted money is insane. I make a pretty solid income by most standards and haven’t even seen 1/10th of this in the form of gifts in any given year. I would be exceedingly grateful to have someone give me that much, especially tax free, every 12 months. I think the most we ever got was $3000 to help with our wedding, which I still really appreciated.

+1

This equates to about $17/hr full-time AND it’s tax free. Plenty of people are working their asses off, some of them doing really important work (e.g. caring for the elderly, garbage collectors), for less than this. It’s frankly insulting to pretend like it’s nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost everywhere I go I meet people from wealthy families with lifestyles that wouldn’t be possible on their incomes alone. These are people who I run into completely randomly not from existing social or institutional connections which increases the perception that they’re everywhere. It’s super frustrating not coming from a family like this when you’re surrounded by so much generational wealth and privilege.

this is so bizarre to me. I have kids in private school that cost over 40k/yr so our social circle is full of wealthy people. Never once have i had a conversation about income and where it comes from. How do you get the intimate details of people finances? In my circles this is just not something that is discussed:

It is pretty obvious. You can tell from the jobs the parents have, what schools they went to, where they vacation.

You really can’t. My DH and I went to george mason. You would have zero clue that my DH went IPO with 2 companies and negotiated great IPO shares in lieu of a lower comp plan. He now works his dream lifestyle job that is certainly not bringing in enough money for the 100k+ we shell out annually for 3 kids in private school. he nets just over what we pay in tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I hope these family freeloaders are generous to the people in the service industry that have to cut their nails, serve their food, and clean up behind them.

They’re almost certainly not. They view these people as fundamentally beneath them - because they have convinced themselves that, as the beneficiaries of generational wealth, they’re God’s chosen people and everyone else is a lesser being who exists to serve them.

I have seen this attitude in this area (and on this site) more times than I can count.

My parents paid for college and my down payment and I’ve also worked plenty of service jobs- retail, waitress and barista.

It’s not just the super wealthy doing this and it’s often just the family norm. My grandparents also helped my parents with these things and DH and I will be helping our kids.

I do know some parents that are against even paying for college though they can afford to. I don’t really get this perspective but, as evidenced in this thread, people have very different values around money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP, there is always one generation that works very, very hard and then they create the generational wealth for their children.

You should strive to be that generation and provide for your children and future generation. We are immigrants who came with $200 in this country. We lived a life of penury for several years and we worked very hard. Our children will get a leg-up in life from us. Their life will be easier than ours. Hopefully, they have imbibed good values from us and they will add to the generational wealth and they will also raise their kids well. Education and hard work are the keys.

This! I am an immigrant, who came to this country with no assets. I work hard, so that my children will have it easier in life.

But then your children will NOT have to work hard to provide for their children, so the statement “education and hard work are the keys” is false. Lots of people work hard. Lots of people are well educated. Trust fund kids are LUCKY. The end.

They may be lucky but it doesn't mean they don't work hard. Vast majority of them do. And yes there will always be someone "luckier than you" unless your last name is gates/bezos/musk

They don’t. The evidence is littered all over this thread. Most of you have never done a hard day’s work in your lives, and your precious snowflakes wouldn’t know hard work if it bit them in the ass.

People bristle against this modern day landed gentry because it’s fundamentally unAmerican. Although I guess we’re trending that way, so keep patting yourself on the back and pretending that you (and your spawn) are simply more deserving of the good life because you’re the only ones who work hard

You seriously have issues. So a 26 yo is who has had a job since college graduation with a good company and is in the top 25% of employees is "not working hard"? Fact is most kids who grow up UMC+ do work hard.

Nobody who sits at a desk all day works hard. I’m sure they sit at that desk for many hours every day, but long hours =/= hard work. The mere fact that you think these cushy UMC desk jockey jobs are so arduous is evidence of your extreme (unearned) privilege. Thanks for proving my point.

If you don't want to do "physical labor" then you need to plan. But yes a desk job is good work. It's what happens when you get a college education most of the time.

Yes and that education (that your mommy and daddy or your trust fund paid for) that allows you to sit on your ass all day doing some bullshit job (while being paid obscene amounts of money) while the little people are *actually* doing the *actual* hard work that enables our society to function is part of your unearned privilege.

I don’t blame you for wanting the same for your children, it’s obviously an incredibly easy life, but I do want you to stop pretending you’re superior because you work so hard and planned so well. You don’t, and you didn’t. You were born on third base, just own it.

I grew up poor. I ate free lunch for over 4 years in school. I had to work for everything I got in life. Education was my pathway out of lower income lifestyle. I figured that out early and worked to ensure I'd get to college. Was valedictorian, graduated college with a 3.9 gpa all while double majoring and working part time.
So yeah don't think I was "born on third base". I was born outside the stadium, hoping to get in.

How is eating free lunch for four years and then going to college for free on Financial Aid working for everything you got?

Where did I ever say I went to college on full financial aide?

My parents used resources when in between jobs to keep food on the table.
I earned merit awards for college and struggled to pay the rest, took loans and worked during school and every break (50+ hours when not in school)

I paid off my student loans and my spouses before we stopped living like poor grad students--because we knew that was smart.

But nothing was given to us. We had to work for it and pay for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I'm over 50 and have never met anyone like this. What kind of loser would accept money from parents/family? It's not that hard to just get a job and pay your bills in the US, assuming you didn't have kids before finishing college.

Millennials do all the time and see nothing wrong with it.

DP millennials are 35-40 years old. If they are living off the parents dole, then they are losers.

I am a millennial and made 1.1M last year. My parent's give me $36k a year because they are wealthy. $10k went to charity and the rest was saved for my daughter's college. I guess I am a loser.

Same here, I am a younger millennial (31), make decent money (nowhere near as you though, only 200k, but wife makes almost the same as well) but until very recently, my parents were still giving me between 24k and 30k a year. I am an immigrant (parents still abroad) and this was just their way of helping and making sure we are fine (and they don't take no for an answer). Wife is also an immigrant, and her parents send her money to this day still (but lower amount, like 10k a year). Lol don't think we are losers either, we worked hard to get to the incomes we currently have. Any money they gave just got moved to emergency fund/stock market.

This is just the way parents of immigrants work/think, they like to make sure that their children are fine and taken care of. And whenever I end up having children, I hope that I will be in a place (financially) to be able to do the same (when the time comes).

Wealth like that passed on to the next generation has prolonged childhood into adulthood. This is one of the reasons our country is failing. If you and your spouse (or significant other) are not paying for a roof over your head, the food on your table, your car insurance, your phone bill, for yourself and your 18 and under children (I'll even give you up through undergrad), then you are a child. Generational wealth begets generational infantilism.

PP -- if you have the money that you claim you have and accept money like that from your parents, that is pitiful. Seems everyone wants to be a hereditary oligarch these days. Do better. Tell your parents to do more for the charities they may already support or find new ones.

Getting $30K a year helps but that's not fully paying all their expenses. You are absurd. We aren't wealthy by any means and get no family help (my parents did but they have your attitude and forget how much help they got which was signficant) and we will do our best to help pay for a state school for college and grad school and I hope we are in a position to help pay for things for our grandkids as that's what gives me pleasure. I live in a crappy house and nothing particularly nice. We all have our priorities. I'd rather pay for music lessons for our kids than a designer handbag, etc.

Wow. You are unbelievably out of touch. Most parents dont have $30k/yr lying around to give their supposedly adult children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For everyone that claims to be wealthy, why is everyone so clueless on how inheritance/gift taxes work?

You aren't limited to $18k per year...you are limited to almost $14MM (for single person, $28MM for a married couple estate) in lifetime inheritance under current federal tax rules.

Whatever you are gifted each year is counted towards that $14MM/$28MM, but the giver only pays a tax on any gifts that exceed the lifetime exclusion.

You have to report any amounts given above $18k to the IRS, but you don't pay any tax on the excess until you hit the lifetime exclusion.

Yes most are well aware of that. Some of us live in states where the estate tax starts at $2m or so. Also some of us are/will be worth more than the 14M *2 so we need to plan. And a simple part of it is to gift the max yearly. $38K to each kid and same to their spouses. They get the money now when it matters more and we help avoid estate taxes at death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone that claims to be wealthy, why is everyone so clueless on how inheritance/gift taxes work?

You aren't limited to $18k per year...you are limited to almost $14MM (for single person, $28MM for a married couple estate) in lifetime inheritance under current federal tax rules.

Whatever you are gifted each year is counted towards that $14MM/$28MM, but the giver only pays a tax on any gifts that exceed the lifetime exclusion.

You have to report any amounts given above $18k to the IRS, but you don't pay any tax on the excess until you hit the lifetime exclusion.

Except they often pay bills directly which is not really tracked. They pay their grandkids college tuition directly to school and money is just magically gone.

. Tuition payments is one totally legal way to gift money to family and not have it count against your exemption

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Just in the last 2 years we made 1m/year and my parents who make 80k/year on retirement have full medical benefits but have everything fully paid off want to pay for private school and I am ok with it because they don't have any other use for their money. If they end of running out of money i would help them. However their generation is very different than our's where they don't have any debts.

If you're making $2m per year and your letting your retired parents clocking $80k a year in retirement pay for your kids' private school education, you are a f4cking loser. Hope I'm crystal clear.

And you're a jealous loser in life.

DP. The PP is right. You make significantly more than your parents. If anyone is giving anyone money, you should be giving mom and dad some money to make life a bit better. If they don’t need your money, give it to charity. But you absolutely should not accept money from them.

[Anonymous]

Some can do it, others can't. No point in holding it against anyone, that's a toxic mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m one of those people – my parents gift me the $36,000 max every year. Why do you care?

Everyone’s dealt a different hand in life. I have that annual gift but had issues with mental health in the past which mean that I’ll never work the type of jobs that pay more than $100-$150K per year.

I don’t think the OP is referring to people like you. More like the example above where the parents clearly purchased a multi-million home for their kid and pay private tuition for the grandkids.

Dude even $36k a year in gifted money is insane. I make a pretty solid income by most standards and haven’t even seen 1/10th of this in the form of gifts in any given year. I would be exceedingly grateful to have someone give me that much, especially tax free, every 12 months. I think the most we ever got was $3000 to help with our wedding, which I still really appreciated.

+1

This equates to about $17/hr full-time AND it’s tax free. Plenty of people are working their asses off, some of them doing really important work (e.g. caring for the elderly, garbage collectors), for less than this. It’s frankly insulting to pretend like it’s nothing.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I hope these family freeloaders are generous to the people in the service industry that have to cut their nails, serve their food, and clean up behind them.

They’re almost certainly not. They view these people as fundamentally beneath them - because they have convinced themselves that, as the beneficiaries of generational wealth, they’re God’s chosen people and everyone else is a lesser being who exists to serve them.

I have seen this attitude in this area (and on this site) more times than I can count.

My parents paid for college and my down payment and I’ve also worked plenty of service jobs- retail, waitress and barista.

It’s not just the super wealthy doing this and it’s often just the family norm. My grandparents also helped my parents with these things and DH and I will be helping our kids.

I do know some parents that are against even paying for college though they can afford to. I don’t really get this perspective but, as evidenced in this thread, people have very different values around money

Those parents are smartly educating their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone that claims to be wealthy, why is everyone so clueless on how inheritance/gift taxes work?

You aren't limited to $18k per year...you are limited to almost $14MM (for single person, $28MM for a married couple estate) in lifetime inheritance under current federal tax rules.

Whatever you are gifted each year is counted towards that $14MM/$28MM, but the giver only pays a tax on any gifts that exceed the lifetime exclusion.

You have to report any amounts given above $18k to the IRS, but you don't pay any tax on the excess until you hit the lifetime exclusion.

Yes most are well aware of that. Some of us live in states where the estate tax starts at $2m or so. Also some of us are/will be worth more than the 14M *2 so we need to plan. And a simple part of it is to gift the max yearly. $38K to each kid and same to their spouses. They get the money now when it matters more and we help avoid estate taxes at death

.06% of the population have an estate worth $28MM+.

If it matters more for them to have the money now, then give them $1MM now (which in theory reduces the estate that will pass on death).

Do you think it matters much if they have to pay some tax on the excess above $28MM when you die?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone that claims to be wealthy, why is everyone so clueless on how inheritance/gift taxes work?

You aren't limited to $18k per year...you are limited to almost $14MM (for single person, $28MM for a married couple estate) in lifetime inheritance under current federal tax rules.

Whatever you are gifted each year is counted towards that $14MM/$28MM, but the giver only pays a tax on any gifts that exceed the lifetime exclusion.

You have to report any amounts given above $18k to the IRS, but you don't pay any tax on the excess until you hit the lifetime exclusion.

Yes most are well aware of that. Some of us live in states where the estate tax starts at $2m or so. Also some of us are/will be worth more than the 14M *2 so we need to plan. And a simple part of it is to gift the max yearly. $38K to each kid and same to their spouses. They get the money now when it matters more and we help avoid estate taxes at death

God forbid some portion of a rich person’s estate goes to taxes. Wouldn’t want any of that cash funding the greater good or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Almost everywhere I go I meet people from wealthy families with lifestyles that wouldn’t be possible on their incomes alone. These are people who I run into completely randomly not from existing social or institutional connections which increases the perception that they’re everywhere. It’s super frustrating not coming from a family like this when you’re surrounded by so much generational wealth and privilege.

this is so bizarre to me. I have kids in private school that cost over 40k/yr so our social circle is full of wealthy people. Never once have i had a conversation about income and where it comes from. How do you get the intimate details of people finances? In my circles this is just not something that is discussed:

It is pretty obvious. You can tell from the jobs the parents have, what schools they went to, where they vacation.

You really can’t. My DH and I went to george mason. You would have zero clue that my DH went IPO with 2 companies and negotiated great IPO shares in lieu of a lower comp plan. He now works his dream lifestyle job that is certainly not bringing in enough money for the 100k+ we shell out annually for 3 kids in private school. he nets just over what we pay in tuition.

This is hilarious. PP is worried that people might think they get family money when they are self made. You are the exception PP, and yes, I am sure most people at the private school think the grandparents are funding tuition.

[Anonymous]

Would it help to hear about all the lazy/dumb ways I have squandered family money, or would it make it worse?