I'm so tired of mom cliques

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am concerned some of you do not have any inkling of experiencing happiness for someone else.

I feel happy for people all the time. I am constantly enriched from learning of the joyful things in the lives of my friends, family, and children.

Seeing a group of people I know and thought I was friends with post pictures from a fun event I wasn't invited to still makes me feel sad.

I think it's disingenuous that you don't understand the difference.

The thing is that people here are blaming the people who posted photos of events on social media. The problem is not the photos. The problem is that the relationship is not what you thought it was. That's a valid source of hurt, IMO, but the argument that the real problem is the people posting photos of good times is silly.

PP here and I disagree. The problem is absolutely the photos, or the sharing of them. It focuses attention the hurt. Without the photos, this person might still feel hurt when they find out the relationship wasn't what they thought. But with the photos, they have to confront the evidence of that fact. It actually makes it more hurtful.

It is very hard to ignore a hurt like that when it pops into your social media feed. It's possible (I've done it) but it is hard and requires a lot of effort.

Meanwhile, you could prevent it from happening by just not posting the photo. Why does anyone who isn't in the photo need to see it? It's one thing if this is a wedding or something, but people on here are just talking about regular social gatherings -- happy hours, BBQs, a birthday dinner. Why would anyone not attending these events want or need to see them?

Then don’t have social media “friends.” Just follow businesses and groups that you need to or interest you. If personal posts get
Under your skin then you need to adjust what you view. No one is doing anything wrong, hateful, or hurtful by posting pictures from a party. Seriously, this is bananas

Your solution to the extremely common and even scientifically documented phenomenon of people feeling hurt and left out by social media posts is for people to get off social media altogether or to exclusively use it for following businesses?

When you could just have manners instead?

You are right this is bananas.

Because the reasoning is bananas. It's okay to post photos of really fancy dinners, or vacations or huge family gatherings or misspelled signs as LONG AS you are related to everyone in the photo?

What? Who said anything about being related?

I just think it's rude to post photos of private gatherings to a public forum, knowing that there will almost certainly be people who see it and feel left out. I don't care about your relationship status with literally any of the people in this scenario. I'm just talking about rude versus not rude. This seem rude.

so is it fine for me to post a photo of a backyard bbq with my family, siblings and their families, and grandparents? or is that rude?

Why would you need to post this photo? Are there people who might see it and feel left out, like a cousin in a nearby town or one of your siblings? If yes, then yes, it is rude. This isn't even hard.

Is this what you are worked up about? It doesn't say you can't post it, just that if there is someone who you know might be offended not to be included (like a sibling, when all the other siblings are there) then it is rude to post it.

This is not the same as saying you aren't allowed to post a photo of a BBQ. You are overreacting.

You don't get it. She NEEDS to post pictures of her boring extended family BBQ. Her coworkers and former college friends absolutely must know that she wasn't alone all weekend doing nothing. She's got a life, OK?

sorry what is someone supposed to post? no one is forcing you to look at anyone’s Facebook wall.

What should you post? Does this keep you up at night? You could post nothing. Most posts are boring and uninteresting. Your bbq isn’t special.

I post my BBQ for myself on my wall. If you prefer to see nothing, perhaps social media is not the place for you. Like, how weird: "I want to use social media but I don't want to see anything anyone posts!" Get a Flickr if that's what you want.

You really need to post those pics. It's desperately sad to need so much outside validation for your social life. One day you'll realize nobody cares that much if you went to a bbq.

i will post even if no one likes my posts, because i'm not doing it for anyone else. i use facebook to arrange my photos on a cloud-based service instead of paying for another service or storing them on a local device. you don't have to look at anything i post, so why does it make you mad?

Oh, so they’re all set to private then?

does it matter to you? i also use facebook for other things and i don't change the privacy between posts. and if someone wants one of the photos of themselves, they're welcome to download or tag themselves. it's not like i have nudity or anything. nobody is forced to look at my photos.

It doesn’t matter to me at all. But it preposterous for someone who posts tons of pictures constantly on a public platform to insist they’re doing it solely for themselves.

is facebook fun for you even though you dont post any photos?

DP, but Facebook isn't fun. I only use it because I sell things on Marketplace and need to keep updated on certain clubs and activities my kids are in. That's about it. I rarely scroll through my feed. Seems like most of my friends got over Facebook a decade ago and moved on. I also notice that the oversharers hardly get any likes or attention these days if I happen to see something new. It's mostly their moms and sisters commenting. It's sad that they keep bothering when clearly nobody cares or interacts with them.

Then why do you care how anyone else uses it if you don't look through it? And why do you find it sad? Maybe they are FINE with just interacting with family members? It sounds like you would be mad even if tons of people were interacting with them.

Basically it sounds like you have a sense of superiority over the way you use a social network. Do you realize how pathetic that is?

these people really do feel aggrieved and self-rigteous over how someone else uses facebook just because it's not the way they want to use it. what do they tell their kids when their kids hear or see something they don't especially prefer? if the kids see a couple kiss in public and think kissing is gross, do the parents say that yeah no one should kiss in public, or do they say to look away or mind your own business? im sure these moms dont parent like this in real life.

I'm not the OP so I didn't start this thread to complain about it. What do you care if someone has an opinion about how you're using FB? You're not shy about sharing your opinions about them and making baseless assumptions. Take your own advice. Meanwhile just keep doing what you're doing, and to hell with people who might get offended. You can do what you like but you don't get to tell others how to feel about it.

this whole argument was STARTED by people telling others what not to post on social media. i came in here to explain what i did and why and got attacked repeatedly by people who cant imagine any reason why people would post photos other than to make someone feel bad. i gave my reasons, and yet no matter what, people kept making asinine assumptions. it's super closed minded to beliee that your way is the best or that if you can only think of one reason, that there must only be one reason.

Honestly, I think you are being too sensitive to what people are actually saying. And also mildly hypocritical.

People on here don't know you, personally. In this thread, there have been lots of comments saying stuff like "I don't know why you feel the need to post these photos at all" or "I personally don't post photos of private social events because I think it's rude" or "I think it would be better if people didn't post photos like this because it tends to make others feel left out." None of those comments is directed at you personally. These are opinions on social media use -- what people choose to do, what they prefer others choose to do. You might disagree, which is fine, but taking these comments personally as some kind of attack on your social media use? It's silly. Do what you want. The odds that anyone on here knows you or sees what you do are incredibly slim, and even if they do, who cares. They are just sharing their opinions, not issuing mandates against your social media use.

But at the same time, you (presumably, and others as well) have been saying it's absolutely unreasonable for anyone to ever be hurt or offended by a social media photo that makes them feel left out Like this is an insane thing that only the most insecure, unreasonable person would feel. That's ridiculous on it's face. Even people who regularly post to social media and generally enjoy seeing friends photos of social events have likely felt that totally relatable pang of "huh, I wish I'd been invited to that." I know I have. It's a very normal human emotion.

You can't on the one hand act like people are trying to control your behavior by posting opinions of social media use on here, and then on the other hand tell people that their emotional response (which many people have) is wrong and evidence of what terrible people they are.

I just think you are taking all of this WAY too personally given that this is a conversation between anonymous strangers on the internet, about social media norms. Being a bit more detached and not personalizing every opinion is the only way for a conversation like this to work. No one here is attacking you personally, or telling you what to do with your social media. We don't know you.

[Anonymous]

My favorite part about this whole argument is all of the moms who are like "I don't care about or want to see what other people do!" also VERY MUCH care about what people do on Facebook and what they see.

It is delicious irony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My favorite part about this whole argument is all of the moms who are like "I don't care about or want to see what other people do!" also VERY MUCH care about what people do on Facebook and what they see.

It is delicious irony.

Kind of like the people who keep saying "I'll do what I want" getting their panties in a twist and feeling "attacked" when others tell them it can sometimes be rude. For all their "why do you care" complaints, they seem to care a lot about this conversation.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am concerned some of you do not have any inkling of experiencing happiness for someone else.

I feel happy for people all the time. I am constantly enriched from learning of the joyful things in the lives of my friends, family, and children.

Seeing a group of people I know and thought I was friends with post pictures from a fun event I wasn't invited to still makes me feel sad.

I think it's disingenuous that you don't understand the difference.

The thing is that people here are blaming the people who posted photos of events on social media. The problem is not the photos. The problem is that the relationship is not what you thought it was. That's a valid source of hurt, IMO, but the argument that the real problem is the people posting photos of good times is silly.

PP here and I disagree. The problem is absolutely the photos, or the sharing of them. It focuses attention the hurt. Without the photos, this person might still feel hurt when they find out the relationship wasn't what they thought. But with the photos, they have to confront the evidence of that fact. It actually makes it more hurtful.

It is very hard to ignore a hurt like that when it pops into your social media feed. It's possible (I've done it) but it is hard and requires a lot of effort.

Meanwhile, you could prevent it from happening by just not posting the photo. Why does anyone who isn't in the photo need to see it? It's one thing if this is a wedding or something, but people on here are just talking about regular social gatherings -- happy hours, BBQs, a birthday dinner. Why would anyone not attending these events want or need to see them?

Then don’t have social media “friends.” Just follow businesses and groups that you need to or interest you. If personal posts get
Under your skin then you need to adjust what you view. No one is doing anything wrong, hateful, or hurtful by posting pictures from a party. Seriously, this is bananas

Your solution to the extremely common and even scientifically documented phenomenon of people feeling hurt and left out by social media posts is for people to get off social media altogether or to exclusively use it for following businesses?

When you could just have manners instead?

You are right this is bananas.

Because the reasoning is bananas. It's okay to post photos of really fancy dinners, or vacations or huge family gatherings or misspelled signs as LONG AS you are related to everyone in the photo?

What? Who said anything about being related?

I just think it's rude to post photos of private gatherings to a public forum, knowing that there will almost certainly be people who see it and feel left out. I don't care about your relationship status with literally any of the people in this scenario. I'm just talking about rude versus not rude. This seem rude.

so is it fine for me to post a photo of a backyard bbq with my family, siblings and their families, and grandparents? or is that rude?

Why would you need to post this photo? Are there people who might see it and feel left out, like a cousin in a nearby town or one of your siblings? If yes, then yes, it is rude. This isn't even hard.

Is this what you are worked up about? It doesn't say you can't post it, just that if there is someone who you know might be offended not to be included (like a sibling, when all the other siblings are there) then it is rude to post it.

This is not the same as saying you aren't allowed to post a photo of a BBQ. You are overreacting.

You don't get it. She NEEDS to post pictures of her boring extended family BBQ. Her coworkers and former college friends absolutely must know that she wasn't alone all weekend doing nothing. She's got a life, OK?

sorry what is someone supposed to post? no one is forcing you to look at anyone’s Facebook wall.

What should you post? Does this keep you up at night? You could post nothing. Most posts are boring and uninteresting. Your bbq isn’t special.

I post my BBQ for myself on my wall. If you prefer to see nothing, perhaps social media is not the place for you. Like, how weird: "I want to use social media but I don't want to see anything anyone posts!" Get a Flickr if that's what you want.

You really need to post those pics. It's desperately sad to need so much outside validation for your social life. One day you'll realize nobody cares that much if you went to a bbq.

i will post even if no one likes my posts, because i'm not doing it for anyone else. i use facebook to arrange my photos on a cloud-based service instead of paying for another service or storing them on a local device. you don't have to look at anything i post, so why does it make you mad?

Oh, so they’re all set to private then?

does it matter to you? i also use facebook for other things and i don't change the privacy between posts. and if someone wants one of the photos of themselves, they're welcome to download or tag themselves. it's not like i have nudity or anything. nobody is forced to look at my photos.

It doesn’t matter to me at all. But it preposterous for someone who posts tons of pictures constantly on a public platform to insist they’re doing it solely for themselves.

is facebook fun for you even though you dont post any photos?

DP, but Facebook isn't fun. I only use it because I sell things on Marketplace and need to keep updated on certain clubs and activities my kids are in. That's about it. I rarely scroll through my feed. Seems like most of my friends got over Facebook a decade ago and moved on. I also notice that the oversharers hardly get any likes or attention these days if I happen to see something new. It's mostly their moms and sisters commenting. It's sad that they keep bothering when clearly nobody cares or interacts with them.

Then why do you care how anyone else uses it if you don't look through it? And why do you find it sad? Maybe they are FINE with just interacting with family members? It sounds like you would be mad even if tons of people were interacting with them.

Basically it sounds like you have a sense of superiority over the way you use a social network. Do you realize how pathetic that is?

these people really do feel aggrieved and self-rigteous over how someone else uses facebook just because it's not the way they want to use it. what do they tell their kids when their kids hear or see something they don't especially prefer? if the kids see a couple kiss in public and think kissing is gross, do the parents say that yeah no one should kiss in public, or do they say to look away or mind your own business? im sure these moms dont parent like this in real life.

I'm not the OP so I didn't start this thread to complain about it. What do you care if someone has an opinion about how you're using FB? You're not shy about sharing your opinions about them and making baseless assumptions. Take your own advice. Meanwhile just keep doing what you're doing, and to hell with people who might get offended. You can do what you like but you don't get to tell others how to feel about it.

this whole argument was STARTED by people telling others what not to post on social media. i came in here to explain what i did and why and got attacked repeatedly by people who cant imagine any reason why people would post photos other than to make someone feel bad. i gave my reasons, and yet no matter what, people kept making asinine assumptions. it's super closed minded to beliee that your way is the best or that if you can only think of one reason, that there must only be one reason.

Honestly, I think you are being too sensitive to what people are actually saying. And also mildly hypocritical.

People on here don't know you, personally. In this thread, there have been lots of comments saying stuff like "I don't know why you feel the need to post these photos at all" or "I personally don't post photos of private social events because I think it's rude" or "I think it would be better if people didn't post photos like this because it tends to make others feel left out." None of those comments is directed at you personally. These are opinions on social media use -- what people choose to do, what they prefer others choose to do. You might disagree, which is fine, but taking these comments personally as some kind of attack on your social media use? It's silly. Do what you want. The odds that anyone on here knows you or sees what you do are incredibly slim, and even if they do, who cares. They are just sharing their opinions, not issuing mandates against your social media use.

But at the same time, you (presumably, and others as well) have been saying it's absolutely unreasonable for anyone to ever be hurt or offended by a social media photo that makes them feel left out Like this is an insane thing that only the most insecure, unreasonable person would feel. That's ridiculous on it's face. Even people who regularly post to social media and generally enjoy seeing friends photos of social events have likely felt that totally relatable pang of "huh, I wish I'd been invited to that." I know I have. It's a very normal human emotion.

You can't on the one hand act like people are trying to control your behavior by posting opinions of social media use on here, and then on the other hand tell people that their emotional response (which many people have) is wrong and evidence of what terrible people they are.

I just think you are taking all of this WAY too personally given that this is a conversation between anonymous strangers on the internet, about social media norms. Being a bit more detached and not personalizing every opinion is the only way for a conversation like this to work. No one here is attacking you personally, or telling you what to do with your social media. We don't know you.

You are 100% putting words into her mouth. I haven't read more than the last few pages, but let's not pretend that people were being very condescending to her (and making direct comments about how the way she is using SM is bad) OR that she was telling people not to have emotional responses and that they were terrible people for doing so (unless I missed a post of hers). The people here who are anti-social media have absolutely made pronouncements about how people should be using it, while the people who enjoy using social media mostly seem to just want to get on with their lives.

It's fine to be sad about being left out of things. The ACTIONS you take in response to your emotions are what matter. If you feel bad about something you see, lashing out and telling people not to post photos of happy times isn't a very productive response. The photos aren't the problem. Your relationship with your friend is the problem.

As well-adjusted human beings, we should realize that we will not be invited to everything or have all of the same opportunities, but we can still be happy for or proud of our friends who are invited or win the big thing, or have a cool opportunity. I have taught my kids that being left out is not the end of the world, and I model this in my behavior. Just a few weeks ago, I hosted a get together for a friend who got a promotion and left town. She returned last week for a few days, and I saw a photo of her with a small group of her best friends. She's actually a decade younger than me, and these friends are all the same age. While we are very close friends, I know I am not her bestie and people often have different kinds of connections. I also know that she loves me, and has done several things to prove it.

I felt a little sad about not being included but instead of moping or telling her not to post or unfollowing her, I reached out to her and said "Hey! I saw from the photos that you're back in town! Do you have some time to hang out? I can meet you where you are." And, it turned out that she was going to see that small group of younger friends again for brunch. She didn't know if I would want to come since I'm not so into brunch but would be happy for me to join. So I did. We had a great time, and I made some new friends.

Social life is just easier if you accept that you're not always everyone's #1 and sometimes it takes a little effort. Certainly more fun than getting salty over photos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite part about this whole argument is all of the moms who are like "I don't care about or want to see what other people do!" also VERY MUCH care about what people do on Facebook and what they see.

It is delicious irony.

Kind of like the people who keep saying "I'll do what I want" getting their panties in a twist and feeling "attacked" when others tell them it can sometimes be rude. For all their "why do you care" complaints, they seem to care a lot about this conversation.

Are you going to pretend that your side has not been extremely rude (literally even calling people whores) in this conversation where they're talking about how other people can be rude? Pot, meet kettle. C'mon, you can't pretend they haven't also been rude, dismissive, and getting their panties twisted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite part about this whole argument is all of the moms who are like "I don't care about or want to see what other people do!" also VERY MUCH care about what people do on Facebook and what they see.

It is delicious irony.

Kind of like the people who keep saying "I'll do what I want" getting their panties in a twist and feeling "attacked" when others tell them it can sometimes be rude. For all their "why do you care" complaints, they seem to care a lot about this conversation.

Are you going to pretend that your side has not been extremely rude (literally even calling people whores) in this conversation where they're talking about how other people can be rude? Pot, meet kettle. C'mon, you can't pretend they haven't also been rude, dismissive, and getting their panties twisted.

I only pointed out the similarities of the "sides". Somehow that was missing from your "ironic" observation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite part about this whole argument is all of the moms who are like "I don't care about or want to see what other people do!" also VERY MUCH care about what people do on Facebook and what they see.

It is delicious irony.

Kind of like the people who keep saying "I'll do what I want" getting their panties in a twist and feeling "attacked" when others tell them it can sometimes be rude. For all their "why do you care" complaints, they seem to care a lot about this conversation.

Are you going to pretend that your side has not been extremely rude (literally even calling people whores) in this conversation where they're talking about how other people can be rude? Pot, meet kettle. C'mon, you can't pretend they haven't also been rude, dismissive, and getting their panties twisted.

That did not happen. Show me where it happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite part about this whole argument is all of the moms who are like "I don't care about or want to see what other people do!" also VERY MUCH care about what people do on Facebook and what they see.

It is delicious irony.

Kind of like the people who keep saying "I'll do what I want" getting their panties in a twist and feeling "attacked" when others tell them it can sometimes be rude. For all their "why do you care" complaints, they seem to care a lot about this conversation.

Are you going to pretend that your side has not been extremely rude (literally even calling people whores) in this conversation where they're talking about how other people can be rude? Pot, meet kettle. C'mon, you can't pretend they haven't also been rude, dismissive, and getting their panties twisted.

I only pointed out the similarities of the "sides". Somehow that was missing from your "ironic" observation.

I don't think your understanding of irony is particularly sharp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite part about this whole argument is all of the moms who are like "I don't care about or want to see what other people do!" also VERY MUCH care about what people do on Facebook and what they see.

It is delicious irony.

Kind of like the people who keep saying "I'll do what I want" getting their panties in a twist and feeling "attacked" when others tell them it can sometimes be rude. For all their "why do you care" complaints, they seem to care a lot about this conversation.

Are you going to pretend that your side has not been extremely rude (literally even calling people whores) in this conversation where they're talking about how other people can be rude? Pot, meet kettle. C'mon, you can't pretend they haven't also been rude, dismissive, and getting their panties twisted.

That did not happen. Show me where it happened.

p12, complete histrionics. A total meltdown.

Here’s where i see it.
In person, in “real life,” we have been taught from a young age to watch how you talk about private parties in front of everybody.

Our moms: “larla, next time remember it’s rude to talk about your party in front of Stacy. Remember you only had room for 10 and you didn’t invite her.”

“Ok mom!”

Next time we remembered when we had our 4 best friends over, we didn’t go on about it in front of Friend 5 and 6. If they ASK, go ahead and tell them. But it was rude to have inside jokes galore on Monday. Just, keep it to yourself. You’ll hang out with Friend 5 and 6 next weekend.

Now, people are doing the equivalent of the bad-mannered this on social media. They have their friends numbers. They can, if they weren’t whores, share photos directly with their best friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My favorite part about this whole argument is all of the moms who are like "I don't care about or want to see what other people do!" also VERY MUCH care about what people do on Facebook and what they see.

It is delicious irony.

Kind of like the people who keep saying "I'll do what I want" getting their panties in a twist and feeling "attacked" when others tell them it can sometimes be rude. For all their "why do you care" complaints, they seem to care a lot about this conversation.

Are you going to pretend that your side has not been extremely rude (literally even calling people whores) in this conversation where they're talking about how other people can be rude? Pot, meet kettle. C'mon, you can't pretend they haven't also been rude, dismissive, and getting their panties twisted.

That did not happen. Show me where it happened.

p12, complete histrionics. A total meltdown.

Here’s where i see it.
In person, in “real life,” we have been taught from a young age to watch how you talk about private parties in front of everybody.

Our moms: “larla, next time remember it’s rude to talk about your party in front of Stacy. Remember you only had room for 10 and you didn’t invite her.”

“Ok mom!”

Next time we remembered when we had our 4 best friends over, we didn’t go on about it in front of Friend 5 and 6. If they ASK, go ahead and tell them. But it was rude to have inside jokes galore on Monday. Just, keep it to yourself. You’ll hang out with Friend 5 and 6 next weekend.

Now, people are doing the equivalent of the bad-mannered this on social media. They have their friends numbers. They can, if they weren’t whores, share photos directly with their best friends.

wow lol she mad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DP. All this whole argument really boils down to is:

When I see photos of events I wasn't invited to, I feel hurt and left out. I would prefer not to see photos of events that I wasn't at, on a social network where the algorithm is designed to promote posts with images.

Therefore, the solution is to not see the photos. I have several options: 1. Not use a social network focused on photos. 2. Unfollow or unfriend people who post images I don't like. 3. Scroll past things I don't like. and 4. Expect other people to know not to post images I don't like.

And a lot of you really are settling on #4 instead of taking the responsibility for moving on or not engaging.

Yes. Spot on and concise

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am concerned some of you do not have any inkling of experiencing happiness for someone else.

I feel happy for people all the time. I am constantly enriched from learning of the joyful things in the lives of my friends, family, and children.

Seeing a group of people I know and thought I was friends with post pictures from a fun event I wasn't invited to still makes me feel sad.

I think it's disingenuous that you don't understand the difference.

The thing is that people here are blaming the people who posted photos of events on social media. The problem is not the photos. The problem is that the relationship is not what you thought it was. That's a valid source of hurt, IMO, but the argument that the real problem is the people posting photos of good times is silly.

PP here and I disagree. The problem is absolutely the photos, or the sharing of them. It focuses attention the hurt. Without the photos, this person might still feel hurt when they find out the relationship wasn't what they thought. But with the photos, they have to confront the evidence of that fact. It actually makes it more hurtful.

It is very hard to ignore a hurt like that when it pops into your social media feed. It's possible (I've done it) but it is hard and requires a lot of effort.

Meanwhile, you could prevent it from happening by just not posting the photo. Why does anyone who isn't in the photo need to see it? It's one thing if this is a wedding or something, but people on here are just talking about regular social gatherings -- happy hours, BBQs, a birthday dinner. Why would anyone not attending these events want or need to see them?

Then don’t have social media “friends.” Just follow businesses and groups that you need to or interest you. If personal posts get
Under your skin then you need to adjust what you view. No one is doing anything wrong, hateful, or hurtful by posting pictures from a party. Seriously, this is bananas

Your solution to the extremely common and even scientifically documented phenomenon of people feeling hurt and left out by social media posts is for people to get off social media altogether or to exclusively use it for following businesses?

When you could just have manners instead?

You are right this is bananas.

Because the reasoning is bananas. It's okay to post photos of really fancy dinners, or vacations or huge family gatherings or misspelled signs as LONG AS you are related to everyone in the photo?

What? Who said anything about being related?

I just think it's rude to post photos of private gatherings to a public forum, knowing that there will almost certainly be people who see it and feel left out. I don't care about your relationship status with literally any of the people in this scenario. I'm just talking about rude versus not rude. This seem rude.

so is it fine for me to post a photo of a backyard bbq with my family, siblings and their families, and grandparents? or is that rude?

Why would you need to post this photo? Are there people who might see it and feel left out, like a cousin in a nearby town or one of your siblings? If yes, then yes, it is rude. This isn't even hard.

Is this what you are worked up about? It doesn't say you can't post it, just that if there is someone who you know might be offended not to be included (like a sibling, when all the other siblings are there) then it is rude to post it.

This is not the same as saying you aren't allowed to post a photo of a BBQ. You are overreacting.

You don't get it. She NEEDS to post pictures of her boring extended family BBQ. Her coworkers and former college friends absolutely must know that she wasn't alone all weekend doing nothing. She's got a life, OK?

sorry what is someone supposed to post? no one is forcing you to look at anyone’s Facebook wall.

What should you post? Does this keep you up at night? You could post nothing. Most posts are boring and uninteresting. Your bbq isn’t special.

I post my BBQ for myself on my wall. If you prefer to see nothing, perhaps social media is not the place for you. Like, how weird: "I want to use social media but I don't want to see anything anyone posts!" Get a Flickr if that's what you want.

You really need to post those pics. It's desperately sad to need so much outside validation for your social life. One day you'll realize nobody cares that much if you went to a bbq.

i will post even if no one likes my posts, because i'm not doing it for anyone else. i use facebook to arrange my photos on a cloud-based service instead of paying for another service or storing them on a local device. you don't have to look at anything i post, so why does it make you mad?

Oh, so they’re all set to private then?

does it matter to you? i also use facebook for other things and i don't change the privacy between posts. and if someone wants one of the photos of themselves, they're welcome to download or tag themselves. it's not like i have nudity or anything. nobody is forced to look at my photos.

It doesn’t matter to me at all. But it preposterous for someone who posts tons of pictures constantly on a public platform to insist they’re doing it solely for themselves.

is facebook fun for you even though you dont post any photos?

DP, but Facebook isn't fun. I only use it because I sell things on Marketplace and need to keep updated on certain clubs and activities my kids are in. That's about it. I rarely scroll through my feed. Seems like most of my friends got over Facebook a decade ago and moved on. I also notice that the oversharers hardly get any likes or attention these days if I happen to see something new. It's mostly their moms and sisters commenting. It's sad that they keep bothering when clearly nobody cares or interacts with them.

Then why do you care how anyone else uses it if you don't look through it? And why do you find it sad? Maybe they are FINE with just interacting with family members? It sounds like you would be mad even if tons of people were interacting with them.

Basically it sounds like you have a sense of superiority over the way you use a social network. Do you realize how pathetic that is?

these people really do feel aggrieved and self-rigteous over how someone else uses facebook just because it's not the way they want to use it. what do they tell their kids when their kids hear or see something they don't especially prefer? if the kids see a couple kiss in public and think kissing is gross, do the parents say that yeah no one should kiss in public, or do they say to look away or mind your own business? im sure these moms dont parent like this in real life.

I'm not the OP so I didn't start this thread to complain about it. What do you care if someone has an opinion about how you're using FB? You're not shy about sharing your opinions about them and making baseless assumptions. Take your own advice. Meanwhile just keep doing what you're doing, and to hell with people who might get offended. You can do what you like but you don't get to tell others how to feel about it.

this whole argument was STARTED by people telling others what not to post on social media. i came in here to explain what i did and why and got attacked repeatedly by people who cant imagine any reason why people would post photos other than to make someone feel bad. i gave my reasons, and yet no matter what, people kept making asinine assumptions. it's super closed minded to beliee that your way is the best or that if you can only think of one reason, that there must only be one reason.

Honestly, I think you are being too sensitive to what people are actually saying. And also mildly hypocritical.

People on here don't know you, personally. In this thread, there have been lots of comments saying stuff like "I don't know why you feel the need to post these photos at all" or "I personally don't post photos of private social events because I think it's rude" or "I think it would be better if people didn't post photos like this because it tends to make others feel left out." None of those comments is directed at you personally. These are opinions on social media use -- what people choose to do, what they prefer others choose to do. You might disagree, which is fine, but taking these comments personally as some kind of attack on your social media use? It's silly. Do what you want. The odds that anyone on here knows you or sees what you do are incredibly slim, and even if they do, who cares. They are just sharing their opinions, not issuing mandates against your social media use.

But at the same time, you (presumably, and others as well) have been saying it's absolutely unreasonable for anyone to ever be hurt or offended by a social media photo that makes them feel left out Like this is an insane thing that only the most insecure, unreasonable person would feel. That's ridiculous on it's face. Even people who regularly post to social media and generally enjoy seeing friends photos of social events have likely felt that totally relatable pang of "huh, I wish I'd been invited to that." I know I have. It's a very normal human emotion.

You can't on the one hand act like people are trying to control your behavior by posting opinions of social media use on here, and then on the other hand tell people that their emotional response (which many people have) is wrong and evidence of what terrible people they are.

I just think you are taking all of this WAY too personally given that this is a conversation between anonymous strangers on the internet, about social media norms. Being a bit more detached and not personalizing every opinion is the only way for a conversation like this to work. No one here is attacking you personally, or telling you what to do with your social media. We don't know you.

You are 100% putting words into her mouth. I haven't read more than the last few pages, but let's not pretend that people were being very condescending to her (and making direct comments about how the way she is using SM is bad) OR that she was telling people not to have emotional responses and that they were terrible people for doing so (unless I missed a post of hers). The people here who are anti-social media have absolutely made pronouncements about how people should be using it, while the people who enjoy using social media mostly seem to just want to get on with their lives.

It's fine to be sad about being left out of things. The ACTIONS you take in response to your emotions are what matter. If you feel bad about something you see, lashing out and telling people not to post photos of happy times isn't a very productive response. The photos aren't the problem. Your relationship with your friend is the problem.

As well-adjusted human beings, we should realize that we will not be invited to everything or have all of the same opportunities, but we can still be happy for or proud of our friends who are invited or win the big thing, or have a cool opportunity. I have taught my kids that being left out is not the end of the world, and I model this in my behavior. Just a few weeks ago, I hosted a get together for a friend who got a promotion and left town. She returned last week for a few days, and I saw a photo of her with a small group of her best friends. She's actually a decade younger than me, and these friends are all the same age. While we are very close friends, I know I am not her bestie and people often have different kinds of connections. I also know that she loves me, and has done several things to prove it.

I felt a little sad about not being included but instead of moping or telling her not to post or unfollowing her, I reached out to her and said "Hey! I saw from the photos that you're back in town! Do you have some time to hang out? I can meet you where you are." And, it turned out that she was going to see that small group of younger friends again for brunch. She didn't know if I would want to come since I'm not so into brunch but would be happy for me to join. So I did. We had a great time, and I made some new friends.

Social life is just easier if you accept that you're not always everyone's #1 and sometimes it takes a little effort. Certainly more fun than getting salty over photos.

thank you

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am concerned some of you do not have any inkling of experiencing happiness for someone else.

I feel happy for people all the time. I am constantly enriched from learning of the joyful things in the lives of my friends, family, and children.

Seeing a group of people I know and thought I was friends with post pictures from a fun event I wasn't invited to still makes me feel sad.

I think it's disingenuous that you don't understand the difference.

The thing is that people here are blaming the people who posted photos of events on social media. The problem is not the photos. The problem is that the relationship is not what you thought it was. That's a valid source of hurt, IMO, but the argument that the real problem is the people posting photos of good times is silly.

PP here and I disagree. The problem is absolutely the photos, or the sharing of them. It focuses attention the hurt. Without the photos, this person might still feel hurt when they find out the relationship wasn't what they thought. But with the photos, they have to confront the evidence of that fact. It actually makes it more hurtful.

It is very hard to ignore a hurt like that when it pops into your social media feed. It's possible (I've done it) but it is hard and requires a lot of effort.

Meanwhile, you could prevent it from happening by just not posting the photo. Why does anyone who isn't in the photo need to see it? It's one thing if this is a wedding or something, but people on here are just talking about regular social gatherings -- happy hours, BBQs, a birthday dinner. Why would anyone not attending these events want or need to see them?

Then don’t have social media “friends.” Just follow businesses and groups that you need to or interest you. If personal posts get
Under your skin then you need to adjust what you view. No one is doing anything wrong, hateful, or hurtful by posting pictures from a party. Seriously, this is bananas

Your solution to the extremely common and even scientifically documented phenomenon of people feeling hurt and left out by social media posts is for people to get off social media altogether or to exclusively use it for following businesses?

When you could just have manners instead?

You are right this is bananas.

Because the reasoning is bananas. It's okay to post photos of really fancy dinners, or vacations or huge family gatherings or misspelled signs as LONG AS you are related to everyone in the photo?

What? Who said anything about being related?

I just think it's rude to post photos of private gatherings to a public forum, knowing that there will almost certainly be people who see it and feel left out. I don't care about your relationship status with literally any of the people in this scenario. I'm just talking about rude versus not rude. This seem rude.

so is it fine for me to post a photo of a backyard bbq with my family, siblings and their families, and grandparents? or is that rude?

Why would you need to post this photo? Are there people who might see it and feel left out, like a cousin in a nearby town or one of your siblings? If yes, then yes, it is rude. This isn't even hard.

Is this what you are worked up about? It doesn't say you can't post it, just that if there is someone who you know might be offended not to be included (like a sibling, when all the other siblings are there) then it is rude to post it.

This is not the same as saying you aren't allowed to post a photo of a BBQ. You are overreacting.

You don't get it. She NEEDS to post pictures of her boring extended family BBQ. Her coworkers and former college friends absolutely must know that she wasn't alone all weekend doing nothing. She's got a life, OK?

sorry what is someone supposed to post? no one is forcing you to look at anyone’s Facebook wall.

What should you post? Does this keep you up at night? You could post nothing. Most posts are boring and uninteresting. Your bbq isn’t special.

I post my BBQ for myself on my wall. If you prefer to see nothing, perhaps social media is not the place for you. Like, how weird: "I want to use social media but I don't want to see anything anyone posts!" Get a Flickr if that's what you want.

You really need to post those pics. It's desperately sad to need so much outside validation for your social life. One day you'll realize nobody cares that much if you went to a bbq.

i will post even if no one likes my posts, because i'm not doing it for anyone else. i use facebook to arrange my photos on a cloud-based service instead of paying for another service or storing them on a local device. you don't have to look at anything i post, so why does it make you mad?

Oh, so they’re all set to private then?

does it matter to you? i also use facebook for other things and i don't change the privacy between posts. and if someone wants one of the photos of themselves, they're welcome to download or tag themselves. it's not like i have nudity or anything. nobody is forced to look at my photos.

It doesn’t matter to me at all. But it preposterous for someone who posts tons of pictures constantly on a public platform to insist they’re doing it solely for themselves.

is facebook fun for you even though you dont post any photos?

DP, but Facebook isn't fun. I only use it because I sell things on Marketplace and need to keep updated on certain clubs and activities my kids are in. That's about it. I rarely scroll through my feed. Seems like most of my friends got over Facebook a decade ago and moved on. I also notice that the oversharers hardly get any likes or attention these days if I happen to see something new. It's mostly their moms and sisters commenting. It's sad that they keep bothering when clearly nobody cares or interacts with them.

Then why do you care how anyone else uses it if you don't look through it? And why do you find it sad? Maybe they are FINE with just interacting with family members? It sounds like you would be mad even if tons of people were interacting with them.

Basically it sounds like you have a sense of superiority over the way you use a social network. Do you realize how pathetic that is?

these people really do feel aggrieved and self-rigteous over how someone else uses facebook just because it's not the way they want to use it. what do they tell their kids when their kids hear or see something they don't especially prefer? if the kids see a couple kiss in public and think kissing is gross, do the parents say that yeah no one should kiss in public, or do they say to look away or mind your own business? im sure these moms dont parent like this in real life.

I'm not the OP so I didn't start this thread to complain about it. What do you care if someone has an opinion about how you're using FB? You're not shy about sharing your opinions about them and making baseless assumptions. Take your own advice. Meanwhile just keep doing what you're doing, and to hell with people who might get offended. You can do what you like but you don't get to tell others how to feel about it.

this whole argument was STARTED by people telling others what not to post on social media. i came in here to explain what i did and why and got attacked repeatedly by people who cant imagine any reason why people would post photos other than to make someone feel bad. i gave my reasons, and yet no matter what, people kept making asinine assumptions. it's super closed minded to beliee that your way is the best or that if you can only think of one reason, that there must only be one reason.

Ok. But now you know some people get offended if they feel excluded, which as many have pointed out is a valid response. So you can just carry on doing what you've always done and not care about that or maybe you might rethink what you post in the future. It's close minded to not take the new information you've learned here that people react in ways you weren't aware of, and think about it. It's close minded to reject this new information, decide feelings don't matter to you, and continue to do things you now know might offend.

If you look at a photo of someone else being happy, doing something they enjoy and get offended, the problem is you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am concerned some of you do not have any inkling of experiencing happiness for someone else.

I feel happy for people all the time. I am constantly enriched from learning of the joyful things in the lives of my friends, family, and children.

Seeing a group of people I know and thought I was friends with post pictures from a fun event I wasn't invited to still makes me feel sad.

I think it's disingenuous that you don't understand the difference.

The thing is that people here are blaming the people who posted photos of events on social media. The problem is not the photos. The problem is that the relationship is not what you thought it was. That's a valid source of hurt, IMO, but the argument that the real problem is the people posting photos of good times is silly.

PP here and I disagree. The problem is absolutely the photos, or the sharing of them. It focuses attention the hurt. Without the photos, this person might still feel hurt when they find out the relationship wasn't what they thought. But with the photos, they have to confront the evidence of that fact. It actually makes it more hurtful.

It is very hard to ignore a hurt like that when it pops into your social media feed. It's possible (I've done it) but it is hard and requires a lot of effort.

Meanwhile, you could prevent it from happening by just not posting the photo. Why does anyone who isn't in the photo need to see it? It's one thing if this is a wedding or something, but people on here are just talking about regular social gatherings -- happy hours, BBQs, a birthday dinner. Why would anyone not attending these events want or need to see them?

Then don’t have social media “friends.” Just follow businesses and groups that you need to or interest you. If personal posts get
Under your skin then you need to adjust what you view. No one is doing anything wrong, hateful, or hurtful by posting pictures from a party. Seriously, this is bananas

Your solution to the extremely common and even scientifically documented phenomenon of people feeling hurt and left out by social media posts is for people to get off social media altogether or to exclusively use it for following businesses?

When you could just have manners instead?

You are right this is bananas.

Because the reasoning is bananas. It's okay to post photos of really fancy dinners, or vacations or huge family gatherings or misspelled signs as LONG AS you are related to everyone in the photo?

What? Who said anything about being related?

I just think it's rude to post photos of private gatherings to a public forum, knowing that there will almost certainly be people who see it and feel left out. I don't care about your relationship status with literally any of the people in this scenario. I'm just talking about rude versus not rude. This seem rude.

so is it fine for me to post a photo of a backyard bbq with my family, siblings and their families, and grandparents? or is that rude?

Why would you need to post this photo? Are there people who might see it and feel left out, like a cousin in a nearby town or one of your siblings? If yes, then yes, it is rude. This isn't even hard.

Is this what you are worked up about? It doesn't say you can't post it, just that if there is someone who you know might be offended not to be included (like a sibling, when all the other siblings are there) then it is rude to post it.

This is not the same as saying you aren't allowed to post a photo of a BBQ. You are overreacting.

You don't get it. She NEEDS to post pictures of her boring extended family BBQ. Her coworkers and former college friends absolutely must know that she wasn't alone all weekend doing nothing. She's got a life, OK?

sorry what is someone supposed to post? no one is forcing you to look at anyone’s Facebook wall.

What should you post? Does this keep you up at night? You could post nothing. Most posts are boring and uninteresting. Your bbq isn’t special.

I post my BBQ for myself on my wall. If you prefer to see nothing, perhaps social media is not the place for you. Like, how weird: "I want to use social media but I don't want to see anything anyone posts!" Get a Flickr if that's what you want.

You really need to post those pics. It's desperately sad to need so much outside validation for your social life. One day you'll realize nobody cares that much if you went to a bbq.

i will post even if no one likes my posts, because i'm not doing it for anyone else. i use facebook to arrange my photos on a cloud-based service instead of paying for another service or storing them on a local device. you don't have to look at anything i post, so why does it make you mad?

Oh, so they’re all set to private then?

does it matter to you? i also use facebook for other things and i don't change the privacy between posts. and if someone wants one of the photos of themselves, they're welcome to download or tag themselves. it's not like i have nudity or anything. nobody is forced to look at my photos.

It doesn’t matter to me at all. But it preposterous for someone who posts tons of pictures constantly on a public platform to insist they’re doing it solely for themselves.

is facebook fun for you even though you dont post any photos?

DP, but Facebook isn't fun. I only use it because I sell things on Marketplace and need to keep updated on certain clubs and activities my kids are in. That's about it. I rarely scroll through my feed. Seems like most of my friends got over Facebook a decade ago and moved on. I also notice that the oversharers hardly get any likes or attention these days if I happen to see something new. It's mostly their moms and sisters commenting. It's sad that they keep bothering when clearly nobody cares or interacts with them.

Then why do you care how anyone else uses it if you don't look through it? And why do you find it sad? Maybe they are FINE with just interacting with family members? It sounds like you would be mad even if tons of people were interacting with them.

Basically it sounds like you have a sense of superiority over the way you use a social network. Do you realize how pathetic that is?

these people really do feel aggrieved and self-rigteous over how someone else uses facebook just because it's not the way they want to use it. what do they tell their kids when their kids hear or see something they don't especially prefer? if the kids see a couple kiss in public and think kissing is gross, do the parents say that yeah no one should kiss in public, or do they say to look away or mind your own business? im sure these moms dont parent like this in real life.

I'm not the OP so I didn't start this thread to complain about it. What do you care if someone has an opinion about how you're using FB? You're not shy about sharing your opinions about them and making baseless assumptions. Take your own advice. Meanwhile just keep doing what you're doing, and to hell with people who might get offended. You can do what you like but you don't get to tell others how to feel about it.

this whole argument was STARTED by people telling others what not to post on social media. i came in here to explain what i did and why and got attacked repeatedly by people who cant imagine any reason why people would post photos other than to make someone feel bad. i gave my reasons, and yet no matter what, people kept making asinine assumptions. it's super closed minded to beliee that your way is the best or that if you can only think of one reason, that there must only be one reason.

Ok. But now you know some people get offended if they feel excluded, which as many have pointed out is a valid response. So you can just carry on doing what you've always done and not care about that or maybe you might rethink what you post in the future. It's close minded to not take the new information you've learned here that people react in ways you weren't aware of, and think about it. It's close minded to reject this new information, decide feelings don't matter to you, and continue to do things you now know might offend.

If you look at a photo of someone else being happy, doing something they enjoy and get offended, the problem is you.

It's this disingenuous read of the argument that is driving me nuts. No one is saying they are offended by seeing photos of people being happy. Reading it this way is so intentionally obtuse that I struggle to take anything else you are saying seriously.

Sometimes people feel left out when they see photos of events they would have liked to be included in, but weren't. If you can't see how that's different from what you wrote, then (1) the problem is definitely you, and (2) I honestly can't help you. Sorry you are devoid of nuance and empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am concerned some of you do not have any inkling of experiencing happiness for someone else.

I feel happy for people all the time. I am constantly enriched from learning of the joyful things in the lives of my friends, family, and children.

Seeing a group of people I know and thought I was friends with post pictures from a fun event I wasn't invited to still makes me feel sad.

I think it's disingenuous that you don't understand the difference.

The thing is that people here are blaming the people who posted photos of events on social media. The problem is not the photos. The problem is that the relationship is not what you thought it was. That's a valid source of hurt, IMO, but the argument that the real problem is the people posting photos of good times is silly.

PP here and I disagree. The problem is absolutely the photos, or the sharing of them. It focuses attention the hurt. Without the photos, this person might still feel hurt when they find out the relationship wasn't what they thought. But with the photos, they have to confront the evidence of that fact. It actually makes it more hurtful.

It is very hard to ignore a hurt like that when it pops into your social media feed. It's possible (I've done it) but it is hard and requires a lot of effort.

Meanwhile, you could prevent it from happening by just not posting the photo. Why does anyone who isn't in the photo need to see it? It's one thing if this is a wedding or something, but people on here are just talking about regular social gatherings -- happy hours, BBQs, a birthday dinner. Why would anyone not attending these events want or need to see them?

Then don’t have social media “friends.” Just follow businesses and groups that you need to or interest you. If personal posts get
Under your skin then you need to adjust what you view. No one is doing anything wrong, hateful, or hurtful by posting pictures from a party. Seriously, this is bananas

Your solution to the extremely common and even scientifically documented phenomenon of people feeling hurt and left out by social media posts is for people to get off social media altogether or to exclusively use it for following businesses?

When you could just have manners instead?

You are right this is bananas.

Because the reasoning is bananas. It's okay to post photos of really fancy dinners, or vacations or huge family gatherings or misspelled signs as LONG AS you are related to everyone in the photo?

What? Who said anything about being related?

I just think it's rude to post photos of private gatherings to a public forum, knowing that there will almost certainly be people who see it and feel left out. I don't care about your relationship status with literally any of the people in this scenario. I'm just talking about rude versus not rude. This seem rude.

so is it fine for me to post a photo of a backyard bbq with my family, siblings and their families, and grandparents? or is that rude?

Why would you need to post this photo? Are there people who might see it and feel left out, like a cousin in a nearby town or one of your siblings? If yes, then yes, it is rude. This isn't even hard.

Is this what you are worked up about? It doesn't say you can't post it, just that if there is someone who you know might be offended not to be included (like a sibling, when all the other siblings are there) then it is rude to post it.

This is not the same as saying you aren't allowed to post a photo of a BBQ. You are overreacting.

You don't get it. She NEEDS to post pictures of her boring extended family BBQ. Her coworkers and former college friends absolutely must know that she wasn't alone all weekend doing nothing. She's got a life, OK?

sorry what is someone supposed to post? no one is forcing you to look at anyone’s Facebook wall.

What should you post? Does this keep you up at night? You could post nothing. Most posts are boring and uninteresting. Your bbq isn’t special.

I post my BBQ for myself on my wall. If you prefer to see nothing, perhaps social media is not the place for you. Like, how weird: "I want to use social media but I don't want to see anything anyone posts!" Get a Flickr if that's what you want.

You really need to post those pics. It's desperately sad to need so much outside validation for your social life. One day you'll realize nobody cares that much if you went to a bbq.

i will post even if no one likes my posts, because i'm not doing it for anyone else. i use facebook to arrange my photos on a cloud-based service instead of paying for another service or storing them on a local device. you don't have to look at anything i post, so why does it make you mad?

Oh, so they’re all set to private then?

does it matter to you? i also use facebook for other things and i don't change the privacy between posts. and if someone wants one of the photos of themselves, they're welcome to download or tag themselves. it's not like i have nudity or anything. nobody is forced to look at my photos.

It doesn’t matter to me at all. But it preposterous for someone who posts tons of pictures constantly on a public platform to insist they’re doing it solely for themselves.

is facebook fun for you even though you dont post any photos?

DP, but Facebook isn't fun. I only use it because I sell things on Marketplace and need to keep updated on certain clubs and activities my kids are in. That's about it. I rarely scroll through my feed. Seems like most of my friends got over Facebook a decade ago and moved on. I also notice that the oversharers hardly get any likes or attention these days if I happen to see something new. It's mostly their moms and sisters commenting. It's sad that they keep bothering when clearly nobody cares or interacts with them.

Then why do you care how anyone else uses it if you don't look through it? And why do you find it sad? Maybe they are FINE with just interacting with family members? It sounds like you would be mad even if tons of people were interacting with them.

Basically it sounds like you have a sense of superiority over the way you use a social network. Do you realize how pathetic that is?

these people really do feel aggrieved and self-rigteous over how someone else uses facebook just because it's not the way they want to use it. what do they tell their kids when their kids hear or see something they don't especially prefer? if the kids see a couple kiss in public and think kissing is gross, do the parents say that yeah no one should kiss in public, or do they say to look away or mind your own business? im sure these moms dont parent like this in real life.

I'm not the OP so I didn't start this thread to complain about it. What do you care if someone has an opinion about how you're using FB? You're not shy about sharing your opinions about them and making baseless assumptions. Take your own advice. Meanwhile just keep doing what you're doing, and to hell with people who might get offended. You can do what you like but you don't get to tell others how to feel about it.

this whole argument was STARTED by people telling others what not to post on social media. i came in here to explain what i did and why and got attacked repeatedly by people who cant imagine any reason why people would post photos other than to make someone feel bad. i gave my reasons, and yet no matter what, people kept making asinine assumptions. it's super closed minded to beliee that your way is the best or that if you can only think of one reason, that there must only be one reason.

Ok. But now you know some people get offended if they feel excluded, which as many have pointed out is a valid response. So you can just carry on doing what you've always done and not care about that or maybe you might rethink what you post in the future. It's close minded to not take the new information you've learned here that people react in ways you weren't aware of, and think about it. It's close minded to reject this new information, decide feelings don't matter to you, and continue to do things you now know might offend.

If you look at a photo of someone else being happy, doing something they enjoy and get offended, the problem is you.

It's this disingenuous read of the argument that is driving me nuts. No one is saying they are offended by seeing photos of people being happy. Reading it this way is so intentionally obtuse that I struggle to take anything else you are saying seriously.

Sometimes people feel left out when they see photos of events they would have liked to be included in, but weren't. If you can't see how that's different from what you wrote, then (1) the problem is definitely you, and (2) I honestly can't help you. Sorry you are devoid of nuance and empathy.

Both readings are real. They see a photo of people having a good time at an event they wanted to go to and feel left out and jealous. Instead of trying to fix the problem by reaching out to the friend, making their own event, or just being happy for their friend, they want to shut down the posting of photos. It’s emotional laziness, expecting others to solve your problems.