What do you do when you have a type but your type is not interested in you?

[Anonymous]

I have a close friend like this. She’s 46 and still single. My theory is she only desired unrealistic men because she has a fear of intimacy. There were plenty of nice guys into her, but she was never interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You get a different type!

But how do you do this? I have dated guys who are not my type , I have gone on up to 3 dates with theses guys so I try, but I just don't feel the attraction or the butterflies I think you are supposed to feel when you are first seeing someone.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How old are you? What is your type?

30. Tall, skinny white guys, with dark hair, bonus if they have glasses the nerdier and more awkward they are the better. I don't restrict myself to this type. I accept dates from any guy that asks. Sometimes the dates go well and sometimes they don't. I generally allow for 2-3 dates before cutting it off if I'm not feeling it.

And what are you like?

I am brown, slightly above average height for a female at 5'7" thin ( 130 lbs), and nerdy myself.

Well this is sad.

Why is it sad?

Getting rejected by nerdy, awkward types. Pining after men who don't want you as a brown woman and not having enough self awareness to at least keep that to yourself. The Ls keep piling up. Yikes. Wishing OP the best.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How old are you? What is your type?

30. Tall, skinny white guys, with dark hair, bonus if they have glasses the nerdier and more awkward they are the better. I don't restrict myself to this type. I accept dates from any guy that asks. Sometimes the dates go well and sometimes they don't. I generally allow for 2-3 dates before cutting it off if I'm not feeling it.

And what are you like?

I am brown, slightly above average height for a female at 5'7" thin ( 130 lbs), and nerdy myself.

Well this is sad.

Why is it sad?

Getting rejected by nerdy, awkward types. Pining after men who don't want you as a brown woman and not having enough self awareness to at least keep that to yourself. The Ls keep piling up. Yikes. Wishing OP the best.

News flash - brown skin is not on the list of exclusion factors for the majority of men. We will exclude you for other reasons, but skin color is not one of them.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How old are you? What is your type?

30. Tall, skinny white guys, with dark hair, bonus if they have glasses the nerdier and more awkward they are the better. I don't restrict myself to this type. I accept dates from any guy that asks. Sometimes the dates go well and sometimes they don't. I generally allow for 2-3 dates before cutting it off if I'm not feeling it.

And what are you like?

I am brown, slightly above average height for a female at 5'7" thin ( 130 lbs), and nerdy myself.

Well this is sad.

Why is it sad?

Getting rejected by nerdy, awkward types. Pining after men who don't want you as a brown woman and not having enough self awareness to at least keep that to yourself. The Ls keep piling up. Yikes. Wishing OP the best.

News flash - brown skin is not on the list of exclusion factors for the majority of men. We will exclude you for other reasons, but skin color is not one of them.

Sure.

[Anonymous]

Give up your type! Life is an adventure. I had a type but then I met a guy who was off type and he changed my world. I remember my father saying he was perfect for me! He thought my type was boring.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How old are you? What is your type?

30. Tall, skinny white guys, with dark hair, bonus if they have glasses the nerdier and more awkward they are the better. I don't restrict myself to this type. I accept dates from any guy that asks. Sometimes the dates go well and sometimes they don't. I generally allow for 2-3 dates before cutting it off if I'm not feeling it.

And what are you like?

I am brown, slightly above average height for a female at 5'7" thin ( 130 lbs), and nerdy myself.

Well this is sad.

Why is it sad?

Getting rejected by nerdy, awkward types. Pining after men who don't want you as a brown woman and not having enough self awareness to at least keep that to yourself. The Ls keep piling up. Yikes. Wishing OP the best.

News flash - brown skin is not on the list of exclusion factors for the majority of men. We will exclude you for other reasons, but skin color is not one of them.

Sure.

Seems to be on her list of exclusions though.

[Anonymous]

You need NIH interaction! So many young nerds from around the globe. Back when we were able to eat lunch together, there were post docs chatting in every regional Indian language, Spanish, Chinese, Italian, Croatian…everything you can imagine! This campus is your oyster!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need NIH interaction! So many young nerds from around the globe. Back when we were able to eat lunch together, there were post docs chatting in every regional Indian language, Spanish, Chinese, Italian, Croatian…everything you can imagine! This campus is your oyster!

hm, I know NIH pretty well too but I wouldn't recommend that cohort knowing OP wants exclusively tall white guys. They are a minority there.

[Anonymous]

Is OP the Indian girl who always posts here?

[Anonymous]

What you do is narrow down your list of must haves to a few personality/lifestyle traits that are non negotiable, and you open yourself up tlfeoxbiliry on other things, including height, hair, glasses, and “nerdiness.”

Figure out what the underlying attraction is to the more superficial traits- maybe a fellow nerd makes you feel more comfortable, and your must have is truly someone who is nice or open minded. Maybe tall makes you feel smaller, etc. prioritize personality traits that make you feel good and secure in a relationship, instead of the superficial things.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How old are you? What is your type?

30. Tall, skinny white guys, with dark hair, bonus if they have glasses the nerdier and more awkward they are the better. I don't restrict myself to this type. I accept dates from any guy that asks. Sometimes the dates go well and sometimes they don't. I generally allow for 2-3 dates before cutting it off if I'm not feeling it.

And what are you like?

I am brown, slightly above average height for a female at 5'7" thin ( 130 lbs), and nerdy myself.

Well this is sad.

Why is it sad?

Getting rejected by nerdy, awkward types. Pining after men who don't want you as a brown woman and not having enough self awareness to at least keep that to yourself. The Ls keep piling up. Yikes. Wishing OP the best.

News flash - brown skin is not on the list of exclusion factors for the majority of men. We will exclude you for other reasons, but skin color is not one of them.

BS. Yes it is, especially for nerdy white guys. They would fall all over themselves for a white girl with elf ears or an East Asian girl. OP, stop hating yourself and your own kind and give the guys who like you a chance!

[Anonymous]

My type was skinny white guys with tattoos who seemed a little rebellious and counter culture. Married to a tall black finance bro with long dreads. Types are for the birds.

Keep dating a lot and keep an open mind. I personally wouldn’t date someone I wasn’t physically attracted to but I wouldn’t write off an objectively attractive guy just because he doesn’t fit my physical type. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

OP, what type of guy usually asks you out?

Many of us have types but you sound fairly rigid and uncompromising. You have a right to your standards but you have to be aware that they will limit you.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How old are you? What is your type?

30. Tall, skinny white guys, with dark hair, bonus if they have glasses the nerdier and more awkward they are the better. I don't restrict myself to this type. I accept dates from any guy that asks. Sometimes the dates go well and sometimes they don't. I generally allow for 2-3 dates before cutting it off if I'm not feeling it.

And what are you like?

I am brown, slightly above average height for a female at 5'7" thin ( 130 lbs), and nerdy myself.

Well this is sad.

Why is it sad?

Getting rejected by nerdy, awkward types. Pining after men who don't want you as a brown woman and not having enough self awareness to at least keep that to yourself. The Ls keep piling up. Yikes. Wishing OP the best.

News flash - brown skin is not on the list of exclusion factors for the majority of men. We will exclude you for other reasons, but skin color is not one of them.

BS. Yes it is, especially for nerdy white guys. They would fall all over themselves for a white girl with elf ears or an East Asian girl. OP, stop hating yourself and your own kind and give the guys who like you a chance!

I wasn't even going to go back and forth with him. Its like they can't bear when their racism and colorism is called out. OP needs to open her eyes and at least keep her self respect in tact. Probably needs some soul searching for why this is her type too