How do you get poop cleared off of a park bench?

[Anonymous]

OP, you're not going to get a direct dial number that connects you to a person who will, within hours of your calling, arrange for someone to come and clean up the poop. It's just not happening.

As I see it, your options are to continue to call about it and submit tickets, recognizing that it isn't likely to yield quick results, or, recognizing that it isn't and shouldn't be your responsibility, arm yourself with dog poop bags, rubber gloves, and Clorox wipes, and do it yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have thought the rats in DC would have eaten the poop.
https://rodentguide.com/do-rats-eat-human-poop/

Thanks to the continued presence of the “streeteries” in roadways around DC, the rats have become more discerning in their dietary preferences.

[Anonymous]

If you appeal directly to Mayor Bowser, she'll advise you to smoke a joint so you stop caring about the poop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you appeal directly to Mayor Bowser, she'll advise you to smoke a joint so you stop caring about the poop.

Bowser will be laser focused if someone takes a dump in the middle of her 16th Street Plaza.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you appeal directly to Mayor Bowser, she'll advise you to smoke a joint so you stop caring about the poop.

Bowser will be laser focused if someone takes a dump in the middle of her 16th Street Plaza.

Challenged accepted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like DC needs to work on their fecal policy.

Tee hee! Awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're not going to get a direct dial number that connects you to a person who will, within hours of your calling, arrange for someone to come and clean up the poop. It's just not happening.

As I see it, your options are to continue to call about it and submit tickets, recognizing that it isn't likely to yield quick results, or, recognizing that it isn't and shouldn't be your responsibility, arm yourself with dog poop bags, rubber gloves, and Clorox wipes, and do it yourself.

What you are suggesting is actually dangerous. Also, where would the poop then be disposed of? Again, dangerous. Human faeces c series disease. And we pay taxes for proper hygiene in the city .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you appeal directly to Mayor Bowser, she'll advise you to smoke a joint so you stop caring about the poop.

Bowser will be laser focused if someone takes a dump in the middle of her 16th Street Plaza.

Old Bowser slogan: “Alice Deal for all!”

New Bowser slogan: “In DC sh#t happens!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're not going to get a direct dial number that connects you to a person who will, within hours of your calling, arrange for someone to come and clean up the poop. It's just not happening.

As I see it, your options are to continue to call about it and submit tickets, recognizing that it isn't likely to yield quick results, or, recognizing that it isn't and shouldn't be your responsibility, arm yourself with dog poop bags, rubber gloves, and Clorox wipes, and do it yourself.

What you are suggesting is actually dangerous. Also, where would the poop then be disposed of? Again, dangerous. Human faeces c series disease. And we pay taxes for proper hygiene in the city .

Lol! There are absolutely zero employees of the city that care one hoot about a poopy bench. You people have to stop being so fragile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a big twitter user, but I'd be taking pics and tagging my council member and DC Parks.

This is a fabulous idea. Also, can you get a nest cam pointed outside your home and put a sign that people are being recorded if they are pooping on the street and share that too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're not going to get a direct dial number that connects you to a person who will, within hours of your calling, arrange for someone to come and clean up the poop. It's just not happening.

As I see it, your options are to continue to call about it and submit tickets, recognizing that it isn't likely to yield quick results, or, recognizing that it isn't and shouldn't be your responsibility, arm yourself with dog poop bags, rubber gloves, and Clorox wipes, and do it yourself.

What you are suggesting is actually dangerous. Also, where would the poop then be disposed of? Again, dangerous. Human faeces c series disease. And we pay taxes for proper hygiene in the city .

Lol! There are absolutely zero employees of the city that care one hoot about a poopy bench. You people have to stop being so fragile.

It’s pretty clear that Mayor Bow-wow has put DC in the crapper!

[Anonymous]

I thought open defecation only happened in India. Now I am hearing it is happening in San Fran, DC, NY?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought open defecation only happened in India. Now I am hearing it is happening in San Fran, DC, NY?

Tolerance and inclusion please, friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a DC resident, so this is just a guess, but especially if it’s an ongoing problem, seems like it might be an issue for the health department.

The issue , as I see it, is there is no central Clearinghouse for poop pickup. The city is so divided into fiefdoms (Parks + Rec, Schools, Metro, National Parks, Health Dept) none of whom are eagerly running forward to claim the poop, but who say the others are responsible. There needs to be one ring to bind (all the poop). Even if it's one number you call that then dispatches the appropriate pooper scooper party. Or a traveling poop van. 311 is not working for this right now. They seem at a loss, and benches are effectively no go zones (how do you get poop UNDER a bench anyway? Wait I don't want to know).

I have seen this. The poop is at the sides and the ends of the benches. They obviously sit on the benches or hold and squat. I love near Wilson Aquatic Center and there are probably six or seven benches there between the park (aquatic center), the school and WMATA. The poop just gets old and dry and blows into the organic vegetable gardens.

I would ask why they don't simply identify the poopers on security camera and then confront them but you have to remember that DC only wants private citizens installing security cameras. None of their own city buildings, fire stations, schools etc which cover large areas around neighborhoods and are even adjacent to areas of past murders, seem convenient enough to throw a camera on.

There is zero desire in the city to keep it "clean". Look at the bubblegum and trash or the years of pet waste that accumulates simply under a public waste can. The trash company could occasionally pick that stuff up, but they chose not to and the city does not see it as important.

Health care in DC is good enough to you should be able to fend off cholera for a while...

I call troll. There are no homeless in NW.

[Anonymous]

After statehood is realized, perhaps the State of Washington, Douglass Commonwealth can have a department dedicated to these important health/quality of life issues?