How do you get poop cleared off of a park bench?

[Anonymous]

Washington DC, the bench feces capital of America.

D.C. “Dump Capital”

“Poop, there it is! Poop, there it is! Shaka laka …”

[Anonymous]

I’m not a DC resident, so this is just a guess, but especially if it’s an ongoing problem, seems like it might be an issue for the health department.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Washington DC, the bench feces capital of America.

D.C. “Dump Capital”

“Poop, there it is! Poop, there it is! Shaka laka …”

Tee-hee

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a DC resident, so this is just a guess, but especially if it’s an ongoing problem, seems like it might be an issue for the health department.

The issue , as I see it, is there is no central Clearinghouse for poop pickup. The city is so divided into fiefdoms (Parks + Rec, Schools, Metro, National Parks, Health Dept) none of whom are eagerly running forward to claim the poop, but who say the others are responsible. There needs to be one ring to bind (all the poop). Even if it's one number you call that then dispatches the appropriate pooper scooper party. Or a traveling poop van. 311 is not working for this right now. They seem at a loss, and benches are effectively no go zones (how do you get poop UNDER a bench anyway? Wait I don't want to know).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a big twitter user, but I'd be taking pics and tagging my council member and DC Parks.

Watch out for this. The woke twitter mafia loves to twist things like this into a "you are such a Karen or a Chad" issue. Just look at DCUM. Half the people here think this is your issue.

Precisely..Dont wade into that poop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a DC resident, so this is just a guess, but especially if it’s an ongoing problem, seems like it might be an issue for the health department.

The issue , as I see it, is there is no central Clearinghouse for poop pickup. The city is so divided into fiefdoms (Parks + Rec, Schools, Metro, National Parks, Health Dept) none of whom are eagerly running forward to claim the poop, but who say the others are responsible. There needs to be one ring to bind (all the poop). Even if it's one number you call that then dispatches the appropriate pooper scooper party. Or a traveling poop van. 311 is not working for this right now. They seem at a loss, and benches are effectively no go zones (how do you get poop UNDER a bench anyway? Wait I don't want to know).

I have seen this. The poop is at the sides and the ends of the benches. They obviously sit on the benches or hold and squat. I love near Wilson Aquatic Center and there are probably six or seven benches there between the park (aquatic center), the school and WMATA. The poop just gets old and dry and blows into the organic vegetable gardens.

I would ask why they don't simply identify the poopers on security camera and then confront them but you have to remember that DC only wants private citizens installing security cameras. None of their own city buildings, fire stations, schools etc which cover large areas around neighborhoods and are even adjacent to areas of past murders, seem convenient enough to throw a camera on.

There is zero desire in the city to keep it "clean". Look at the bubblegum and trash or the years of pet waste that accumulates simply under a public waste can. The trash company could occasionally pick that stuff up, but they chose not to and the city does not see it as important.

Health care in DC is good enough to you should be able to fend off cholera for a while...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a DC resident, so this is just a guess, but especially if it’s an ongoing problem, seems like it might be an issue for the health department.

The issue , as I see it, is there is no central Clearinghouse for poop pickup. The city is so divided into fiefdoms (Parks + Rec, Schools, Metro, National Parks, Health Dept) none of whom are eagerly running forward to claim the poop, but who say the others are responsible. There needs to be one ring to bind (all the poop). Even if it's one number you call that then dispatches the appropriate pooper scooper party. Or a traveling poop van. 311 is not working for this right now. They seem at a loss, and benches are effectively no go zones (how do you get poop UNDER a bench anyway? Wait I don't want to know).

I have seen this. The poop is at the sides and the ends of the benches. They obviously sit on the benches or hold and squat. I love near Wilson Aquatic Center and there are probably six or seven benches there between the park (aquatic center), the school and WMATA. The poop just gets old and dry and blows into the organic vegetable gardens.

I would ask why they don't simply identify the poopers on security camera and then confront them but you have to remember that DC only wants private citizens installing security cameras. None of their own city buildings, fire stations, schools etc which cover large areas around neighborhoods and are even adjacent to areas of past murders, seem convenient enough to throw a camera on.

There is zero desire in the city to keep it "clean". Look at the bubblegum and trash or the years of pet waste that accumulates simply under a public waste can. The trash company could occasionally pick that stuff up, but they chose not to and the city does not see it as important.

Health care in DC is good enough to you should be able to fend off cholera for a while...

Mayor Bowser was interviewed on the PBS NewsHour yesterday and was asked about rising crime in the District. Bowser basically excused DC’s performance, saying that DC needs more money. The interviewer pointed out that the District just received $3 billion is special stimulus funding from the Federal government.

[Anonymous]

It’s just poop from some person experiencing homelessness. It’s not going hurt you, you delicate fragile snowflake. You trumphumpers are so pathetic you can’t even deal with a little poop on the ground. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Does DC get more federal money if/when it becomes a state than it does now from the Federal Govt? What is DC's income method upon statehood and the lack of a federal allowance?

Ok, back to the poop. So DC is just out of money or is not organized enough to handle human waste in public spaces. I am starting to side with the "no homeless people" here. If you cannot handle the easy problems of having a homeless population, then the city needs to more proactively round the homeless people up daily and put them into night shelters. Even the ones who don't want to be in a shelter. If you can't camp in a neighborhood park, you can't homeless camp in that park either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s just poop from some person experiencing homelessness. It’s not going hurt you, you delicate fragile snowflake. You trumphumpers are so pathetic you can’t even deal with a little poop on the ground. Sad.

I had not heard this one yet. Is there a relationship between Trump and homelessness or homeless poop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s just poop from some person experiencing homelessness. It’s not going hurt you, you delicate fragile snowflake. You trumphumpers are so pathetic you can’t even deal with a little poop on the ground. Sad.

+1. I actually enjoy seeing all the human excrement in my neighborhood. Anyone who doesn’t obviously voted for Trump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s just poop from some person experiencing homelessness. It’s not going hurt you, you delicate fragile snowflake. You trumphumpers are so pathetic you can’t even deal with a little poop on the ground. Sad.

I had not heard this one yet. Is there a relationship between Trump and homelessness or homeless poop?

So are you saying that the GOO is anti-public excrement on benches and the “progressives” are ok with it?! If that’s the case, I may need to rethink my politics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does DC get more federal money if/when it becomes a state than it does now from the Federal Govt? What is DC's income method upon statehood and the lack of a federal allowance?

Ok, back to the poop. So DC is just out of money or is not organized enough to handle human waste in public spaces. I am starting to side with the "no homeless people" here. If you cannot handle the easy problems of having a homeless population, then the city needs to more proactively round the homeless people up daily and put them into night shelters. Even the ones who don't want to be in a shelter. If you can't camp in a neighborhood park, you can't homeless camp in that park either.

There was an article that suggested that statehood will cost DC money.

That aside, neither Mayor Bowser not Gov. Bowser likely has any will or wherewithal to do something about this problem. Your approach makes sense.

[Anonymous]

I would have thought the rats in DC would have eaten the poop.
https://rodentguide.com/do-rats-eat-human-poop/

[Anonymous]

Sounds like DC needs to work on their fecal policy.