How to alert preschool of new student in DS' class who is very aggressive/hits/bites

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was the biter, OP. He stopped by 3.5, but it was a rough year there for a while. He became the most gentle, chill, kind child you can imagine. He does have anxiety, which seems to have gone along with the biting.

Anyway, if you are concerned about YOUR KID you can say to the pre-school director that your kid and new kid have played together and that your son was hit/bitten/shaken whatever and is nervous about being with new kid. Ask if they can keep an eye out FOR YOUR SON'S emotions, and just make sure he is feeling safe. But really, you don't need to do anything. If the kid is still struggling with behavior they'll know very soon, and if he isn't...yay!

+1 OP sounds like a PITA who inserts herself into everyone's business on behalf of her precious snowflake.

This is so unhelpful and unsupportive. My son is not a precious snowflake. When on the playground or park, I don't step in when he and other kids are having normal little toddler issues over toys whatever. I let hi figure it out- which sometimes means being disappointed or having something snatched from you.

I do step in when another child is pulling hair, grabbing his neck, or biting him. Which this child has done. To my son, and to many of the other regulars at our park. It was a daily occurrence.

I asked for feedback precisely because I am struggling on the pros and cons of saying something to the school.

But thanks so much for being a helpful supportive person for this mom in need of advice!

You realize you are over the top, right? The fact that you think it could possibly think it is ok to go to the director of the school and say negative things about another small CHILD -- before the kid even has a chance to get settled -- is crazy! Your talk about "blaming the parents" and all of the blather in your original post is so self centered and ridiculous. You don't even see that you are contemplating being a total jerk to this other family but insist on getting sympathy from strangers on DCUM for your situation. NUTS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was the biter, OP. He stopped by 3.5, but it was a rough year there for a while. He became the most gentle, chill, kind child you can imagine. He does have anxiety, which seems to have gone along with the biting.

Anyway, if you are concerned about YOUR KID you can say to the pre-school director that your kid and new kid have played together and that your son was hit/bitten/shaken whatever and is nervous about being with new kid. Ask if they can keep an eye out FOR YOUR SON'S emotions, and just make sure he is feeling safe. But really, you don't need to do anything. If the kid is still struggling with behavior they'll know very soon, and if he isn't...yay!

+1 OP sounds like a PITA who inserts herself into everyone's business on behalf of her precious snowflake.

This is so unhelpful and unsupportive. My son is not a precious snowflake. When on the playground or park, I don't step in when he and other kids are having normal little toddler issues over toys whatever. I let hi figure it out- which sometimes means being disappointed or having something snatched from you.

I do step in when another child is pulling hair, grabbing his neck, or biting him. Which this child has done. To my son, and to many of the other regulars at our park. It was a daily occurrence.

I asked for feedback precisely because I am struggling on the pros and cons of saying something to the school.

But thanks so much for being a helpful supportive person for this mom in need of advice!

You realize you are over the top, right? The fact that you think it could possibly think it is ok to go to the director of the school and say negative things about another small CHILD -- before the kid even has a chance to get settled -- is crazy! Your talk about "blaming the parents" and all of the blather in your original post is so self centered and ridiculous. You don't even see that you are contemplating being a total jerk to this other family but insist on getting sympathy from strangers on DCUM for your situation. NUTS!

pp you are very angry. if parents allow their kids to bite and be aggressive without repercussion, then yes, i too blame the parents. the original post said the parental response was something to the effect of, "there he goes." to me that is pretty ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was the biter, OP. He stopped by 3.5, but it was a rough year there for a while. He became the most gentle, chill, kind child you can imagine. He does have anxiety, which seems to have gone along with the biting.

Anyway, if you are concerned about YOUR KID you can say to the pre-school director that your kid and new kid have played together and that your son was hit/bitten/shaken whatever and is nervous about being with new kid. Ask if they can keep an eye out FOR YOUR SON'S emotions, and just make sure he is feeling safe. But really, you don't need to do anything. If the kid is still struggling with behavior they'll know very soon, and if he isn't...yay!

+1 OP sounds like a PITA who inserts herself into everyone's business on behalf of her precious snowflake.

This is so unhelpful and unsupportive. My son is not a precious snowflake. When on the playground or park, I don't step in when he and other kids are having normal little toddler issues over toys whatever. I let hi figure it out- which sometimes means being disappointed or having something snatched from you.

I do step in when another child is pulling hair, grabbing his neck, or biting him. Which this child has done. To my son, and to many of the other regulars at our park. It was a daily occurrence.

I asked for feedback precisely because I am struggling on the pros and cons of saying something to the school.

But thanks so much for being a helpful supportive person for this mom in need of advice!

You realize you are over the top, right? The fact that you think it could possibly think it is ok to go to the director of the school and say negative things about another small CHILD -- before the kid even has a chance to get settled -- is crazy! Your talk about "blaming the parents" and all of the blather in your original post is so self centered and ridiculous. You don't even see that you are contemplating being a total jerk to this other family but insist on getting sympathy from strangers on DCUM for your situation. NUTS!

pp you are very angry. if parents allow their kids to bite and be aggressive without repercussion, then yes, i too blame the parents. the original post said the parental response was something to the effect of, "there he goes." to me that is pretty ridiculous.

Something tells me the OP was exaggerating to make her case to go and slander the kid to the preschool director. Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't think you need to alert the preschool about a wild and dangerous 2 year old. If he misbehaves they will figure it out quickly and find ways to compensate. I promise they have way more experience with this than you do. He sounds like a kid who desperately needs the some structure and will do better in a routine with clear boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was the biter, OP. He stopped by 3.5, but it was a rough year there for a while. He became the most gentle, chill, kind child you can imagine. He does have anxiety, which seems to have gone along with the biting.

Anyway, if you are concerned about YOUR KID you can say to the pre-school director that your kid and new kid have played together and that your son was hit/bitten/shaken whatever and is nervous about being with new kid. Ask if they can keep an eye out FOR YOUR SON'S emotions, and just make sure he is feeling safe. But really, you don't need to do anything. If the kid is still struggling with behavior they'll know very soon, and if he isn't...yay!

+1 OP sounds like a PITA who inserts herself into everyone's business on behalf of her precious snowflake.

This is so unhelpful and unsupportive. My son is not a precious snowflake. When on the playground or park, I don't step in when he and other kids are having normal little toddler issues over toys whatever. I let hi figure it out- which sometimes means being disappointed or having something snatched from you.

I do step in when another child is pulling hair, grabbing his neck, or biting him. Which this child has done. To my son, and to many of the other regulars at our park. It was a daily occurrence.

I asked for feedback precisely because I am struggling on the pros and cons of saying something to the school.

But thanks so much for being a helpful supportive person for this mom in need of advice!

You realize you are over the top, right? The fact that you think it could possibly think it is ok to go to the director of the school and say negative things about another small CHILD -- before the kid even has a chance to get settled -- is crazy! Your talk about "blaming the parents" and all of the blather in your original post is so self centered and ridiculous. You don't even see that you are contemplating being a total jerk to this other family but insist on getting sympathy from strangers on DCUM for your situation. NUTS!

pp you are very angry. if parents allow their kids to bite and be aggressive without repercussion, then yes, i too blame the parents. the original post said the parental response was something to the effect of, "there he goes." to me that is pretty ridiculous.

Something tells me the OP was exaggerating to make her case to go and slander the kid to the preschool director. Just a thought.

OP here. Zero exaggeration. What motivation do I have to exaggerate? No one is trying to slander a child- that's laughable. In any case, truth is a defense. It's not up for debate what behaviors and actions I have seen from this child in the past. As I've stated before, it is up for debate whether he still acts this way. Thank you to the helpful considerate folks who replied suggesting to just wait and see, and hope that it's an nonissue.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't say anything, they will figure it out immediately. Remember that they have seen hundreds of kids in this precise age range and have ways of dealing with it and preventing it from happening. When my dd was in the 2's room at her daycare there were 3 kids who went through biting phases. The teachers would shadow the kid and redirect them when it was about to happen as much as they could. It's considered normal through to age 3 and they do their best to keep it from happening and talk to the parents of the biter about ways to reinforce not biting. My kid was bit a couple of times in that room, it never broke the skin and just resulted in a bruise, and it didn't happen past age 3 and she doesn't remember that it happened and still plays with those kids now. It's often because the kid is frustrated and doesn't have the language skills or impulse control to express that. I always felt bad for the parents of those kids honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was the biter, OP. He stopped by 3.5, but it was a rough year there for a while. He became the most gentle, chill, kind child you can imagine. He does have anxiety, which seems to have gone along with the biting.

Anyway, if you are concerned about YOUR KID you can say to the pre-school director that your kid and new kid have played together and that your son was hit/bitten/shaken whatever and is nervous about being with new kid. Ask if they can keep an eye out FOR YOUR SON'S emotions, and just make sure he is feeling safe. But really, you don't need to do anything. If the kid is still struggling with behavior they'll know very soon, and if he isn't...yay!

+1 OP sounds like a PITA who inserts herself into everyone's business on behalf of her precious snowflake.

This is so unhelpful and unsupportive. My son is not a precious snowflake. When on the playground or park, I don't step in when he and other kids are having normal little toddler issues over toys whatever. I let hi figure it out- which sometimes means being disappointed or having something snatched from you.

I do step in when another child is pulling hair, grabbing his neck, or biting him. Which this child has done. To my son, and to many of the other regulars at our park. It was a daily occurrence.

I asked for feedback precisely because I am struggling on the pros and cons of saying something to the school.

But thanks so much for being a helpful supportive person for this mom in need of advice!

You realize you are over the top, right? The fact that you think it could possibly think it is ok to go to the director of the school and say negative things about another small CHILD -- before the kid even has a chance to get settled -- is crazy! Your talk about "blaming the parents" and all of the blather in your original post is so self centered and ridiculous. You don't even see that you are contemplating being a total jerk to this other family but insist on getting sympathy from strangers on DCUM for your situation. NUTS!

pp you are very angry. if parents allow their kids to bite and be aggressive without repercussion, then yes, i too blame the parents. the original post said the parental response was something to the effect of, "there he goes." to me that is pretty ridiculous.

Something tells me the OP was exaggerating to make her case to go and slander the kid to the preschool director. Just a thought.

OP here. Zero exaggeration. What motivation do I have to exaggerate? No one is trying to slander a child- that's laughable. In any case, truth is a defense. It's not up for debate what behaviors and actions I have seen from this child in the past. As I've stated before, it is up for debate whether he still acts this way. Thank you to the helpful considerate folks who replied suggesting to just wait and see, and hope that it's an nonissue.

He's likely to outgrow it pretty quickly. Also, it might be a huge improvement that he's going to a structured school environment where they know how to handle these things and redirect the kid--it will probably help him overcome it faster and possibly the parents will be given help in how to deal with it effectively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't say anything, they will figure it out immediately. Remember that they have seen hundreds of kids in this precise age range and have ways of dealing with it and preventing it from happening. When my dd was in the 2's room at her daycare there were 3 kids who went through biting phases. The teachers would shadow the kid and redirect them when it was about to happen as much as they could. It's considered normal through to age 3 and they do their best to keep it from happening and talk to the parents of the biter about ways to reinforce not biting. My kid was bit a couple of times in that room, it never broke the skin and just resulted in a bruise, and it didn't happen past age 3 and she doesn't remember that it happened and still plays with those kids now. It's often because the kid is frustrated and doesn't have the language skills or impulse control to express that. I always felt bad for the parents of those kids honestly.

OP here- thanks for this perspective

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was the biter, OP. He stopped by 3.5, but it was a rough year there for a while. He became the most gentle, chill, kind child you can imagine. He does have anxiety, which seems to have gone along with the biting.

Anyway, if you are concerned about YOUR KID you can say to the pre-school director that your kid and new kid have played together and that your son was hit/bitten/shaken whatever and is nervous about being with new kid. Ask if they can keep an eye out FOR YOUR SON'S emotions, and just make sure he is feeling safe. But really, you don't need to do anything. If the kid is still struggling with behavior they'll know very soon, and if he isn't...yay!

+1 OP sounds like a PITA who inserts herself into everyone's business on behalf of her precious snowflake.

This is so unhelpful and unsupportive. My son is not a precious snowflake. When on the playground or park, I don't step in when he and other kids are having normal little toddler issues over toys whatever. I let hi figure it out- which sometimes means being disappointed or having something snatched from you.

I do step in when another child is pulling hair, grabbing his neck, or biting him. Which this child has done. To my son, and to many of the other regulars at our park. It was a daily occurrence.

I asked for feedback precisely because I am struggling on the pros and cons of saying something to the school.

But thanks so much for being a helpful supportive person for this mom in need of advice!

You realize you are over the top, right? The fact that you think it could possibly think it is ok to go to the director of the school and say negative things about another small CHILD -- before the kid even has a chance to get settled -- is crazy! Your talk about "blaming the parents" and all of the blather in your original post is so self centered and ridiculous. You don't even see that you are contemplating being a total jerk to this other family but insist on getting sympathy from strangers on DCUM for your situation. NUTS!

pp you are very angry. if parents allow their kids to bite and be aggressive without repercussion, then yes, i too blame the parents. the original post said the parental response was something to the effect of, "there he goes." to me that is pretty ridiculous.

Something tells me the OP was exaggerating to make her case to go and slander the kid to the preschool director. Just a thought.

OP here. Zero exaggeration. What motivation do I have to exaggerate? No one is trying to slander a child- that's laughable. In any case, truth is a defense. It's not up for debate what behaviors and actions I have seen from this child in the past. As I've stated before, it is up for debate whether he still acts this way. Thank you to the helpful considerate folks who replied suggesting to just wait and see, and hope that it's an nonissue.

You came at the kid & parents in your original post with an air of entitlement that you get to judge them. The title of your post was "how to deal alert preschool of new student...who is very aggressive." You are referring to a toddler - not an adult criminal or a wild animal. This type of thing happens with kids. You haven't seen the kid in three months, but you want to go and tell the school the kids is "aggressive" etc etc. You are the one being aggressive. Go ahead and tell the school. They will flag you as the parent who causes trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was the biter, OP. He stopped by 3.5, but it was a rough year there for a while. He became the most gentle, chill, kind child you can imagine. He does have anxiety, which seems to have gone along with the biting.

Anyway, if you are concerned about YOUR KID you can say to the pre-school director that your kid and new kid have played together and that your son was hit/bitten/shaken whatever and is nervous about being with new kid. Ask if they can keep an eye out FOR YOUR SON'S emotions, and just make sure he is feeling safe. But really, you don't need to do anything. If the kid is still struggling with behavior they'll know very soon, and if he isn't...yay!

+1 OP sounds like a PITA who inserts herself into everyone's business on behalf of her precious snowflake.

This is so unhelpful and unsupportive. My son is not a precious snowflake. When on the playground or park, I don't step in when he and other kids are having normal little toddler issues over toys whatever. I let hi figure it out- which sometimes means being disappointed or having something snatched from you.

I do step in when another child is pulling hair, grabbing his neck, or biting him. Which this child has done. To my son, and to many of the other regulars at our park. It was a daily occurrence.

I asked for feedback precisely because I am struggling on the pros and cons of saying something to the school.

But thanks so much for being a helpful supportive person for this mom in need of advice!

You realize you are over the top, right? The fact that you think it could possibly think it is ok to go to the director of the school and say negative things about another small CHILD -- before the kid even has a chance to get settled -- is crazy! Your talk about "blaming the parents" and all of the blather in your original post is so self centered and ridiculous. You don't even see that you are contemplating being a total jerk to this other family but insist on getting sympathy from strangers on DCUM for your situation. NUTS!

pp you are very angry. if parents allow their kids to bite and be aggressive without repercussion, then yes, i too blame the parents. the original post said the parental response was something to the effect of, "there he goes." to me that is pretty ridiculous.

Something tells me the OP was exaggerating to make her case to go and slander the kid to the preschool director. Just a thought.

OP here. Zero exaggeration. What motivation do I have to exaggerate? No one is trying to slander a child- that's laughable. In any case, truth is a defense. It's not up for debate what behaviors and actions I have seen from this child in the past. As I've stated before, it is up for debate whether he still acts this way. Thank you to the helpful considerate folks who replied suggesting to just wait and see, and hope that it's an nonissue.

He's likely to outgrow it pretty quickly. Also, it might be a huge improvement that he's going to a structured school environment where they know how to handle these things and redirect the kid--it will probably help him overcome it faster and possibly the parents will be given help in how to deal with it effectively.

OP here- I hope the same re: structure and redirecting. Like I said originally, his parents never did a THING when we saw him get aggressive. The mom literally said "Oh boy, there he goes again. Here we go" and would stand back. Usually the parent of the other child being bit/hit/shook would end up running over and pulling their kid away.

I am 100% not exaggerating when I say that I personally know of 3 other parents who, like us, stopped entering the playground when they saw this child already there, or would casually start to pack up and leave when they saw him on the way. It was unfortunate, but people were exhausted and overwhelmed by it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Something tells me the OP was exaggerating to make her case to go and slander the kid to the preschool director. Just a thought.

OP here. Zero exaggeration. What motivation do I have to exaggerate? No one is trying to slander a child- that's laughable. In any case, truth is a defense. It's not up for debate what behaviors and actions I have seen from this child in the past. As I've stated before, it is up for debate whether he still acts this way. Thank you to the helpful considerate folks who replied suggesting to just wait and see, and hope that it's an nonissue.

OP, I am not sure I believe a 2.5 year old is actually capable of scary behavior. Aggressive and unacceptable, yes, but not scary. That's why people are doubting your story. A two year old just doesn't have the brainpower or size to be a true threat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Something tells me the OP was exaggerating to make her case to go and slander the kid to the preschool director. Just a thought.

OP here. Zero exaggeration. What motivation do I have to exaggerate? No one is trying to slander a child- that's laughable. In any case, truth is a defense. It's not up for debate what behaviors and actions I have seen from this child in the past. As I've stated before, it is up for debate whether he still acts this way. Thank you to the helpful considerate folks who replied suggesting to just wait and see, and hope that it's an nonissue.

OP, I am not sure I believe a 2.5 year old is actually capable of scary behavior. Aggressive and unacceptable, yes, but not scary. That's why people are doubting your story. A two year old just doesn't have the brainpower or size to be a true threat.

The boy put his hands around my son's neck and growled. My friend's daughter is 5 months younger. He grabbed her pigtails and shook her head while screaming. I have seen him come up behind other children, wrap his arms around their chest and try to push them to the ground.

I have seen all of this.

[Anonymous]

It is completely unnecessary for you to insert yourself in this. What you already know, if still applicable, will make itself very apparent to the teachers/director (whose business it actually is) in short order. The new kid will not kill your kid in the interim. Maybe your kid gets one bite or a hair pull, but they'll survive. You have no need to be involved at this juncture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Something tells me the OP was exaggerating to make her case to go and slander the kid to the preschool director. Just a thought.

OP here. Zero exaggeration. What motivation do I have to exaggerate? No one is trying to slander a child- that's laughable. In any case, truth is a defense. It's not up for debate what behaviors and actions I have seen from this child in the past. As I've stated before, it is up for debate whether he still acts this way. Thank you to the helpful considerate folks who replied suggesting to just wait and see, and hope that it's an nonissue.

OP, I am not sure I believe a 2.5 year old is actually capable of scary behavior. Aggressive and unacceptable, yes, but not scary. That's why people are doubting your story. A two year old just doesn't have the brainpower or size to be a true threat.

The boy put his hands around my son's neck and growled. My friend's daughter is 5 months younger. He grabbed her pigtails and shook her head while screaming. I have seen him come up behind other children, wrap his arms around their chest and try to push them to the ground.

I have seen all of this.

Sounds like you should report him to the police for assault.

[Anonymous]

Tell your son to hit him back problem solved 🤷🏽‍♀️