How to alert preschool of new student in DS' class who is very aggressive/hits/bites

[Anonymous]

Aren’t preschools wrapping up for the summer? Why is this an issue now?

That aside, I would not raise it with the director. If the kid still behaves that way, they will figure it out it quickly and address it without your input. If he doesn’t, you will come across as a troublemaker trying to stir up problems for this child, and will lose your credibility on future issues that may arise.

If you start hearing reports of this child targeting your child at preschool, then you should raise it with the teacher first. Going over the teacher’s head straight to the director without giving the teacher a chance to address it first will alienate the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The preschool director will figure it out without your input. I would leave it alone if the kid is not in your kid's class. MYOB.

He is in my son's class. His first day was yesterday.

Oh, you should have requested that your son be in a different class than this boy. You can still do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The preschool director will figure it out without your input. I would leave it alone if the kid is not in your kid's class. MYOB.

He is in my son's class. His first day was yesterday.

Oh, you should have requested that your son be in a different class than this boy. You can still do that.

Only if there is more than class, and with the expectation that OP's child, and not the new child, is the one who would be moved to a different class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your son to hit him back problem solved 🤷🏽‍♀️

Unfortunately, this may be the only thing that gets his parents to actually step-in and parent their child when he becomes aggressive. I encountered several of these terrors on the playground and found it interesting that almost every one of their parents only spoke up when a kid retaliated. All of a sudden they became concerned but had jack sh*t to say when their kid was being the brute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your son to hit him back problem solved 🤷🏽‍♀️

Unfortunately, this may be the only thing that gets his parents to actually step-in and parent their child when he becomes aggressive. I encountered several of these terrors on the playground and found it interesting that almost every one of their parents only spoke up when a kid retaliated. All of a sudden they became concerned but had jack sh*t to say when their kid was being the brute.

True, there's one woman whose 3 yo son is a terror on the playground and she never disciplines him, not cause he's an inherently rotten kid, but because the mom is ignoring him all the time. But one time a kid hit him back and she was on him in an instant for daring to touch her son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren’t preschools wrapping up for the summer? Why is this an issue now?

That aside, I would not raise it with the director. If the kid still behaves that way, they will figure it out it quickly and address it without your input. If he doesn’t, you will come across as a troublemaker trying to stir up problems for this child, and will lose your credibility on future issues that may arise.

If you start hearing reports of this child targeting your child at preschool, then you should raise it with the teacher first. Going over the teacher’s head straight to the director without giving the teacher a chance to address it first will alienate the teacher.

Op here- Our school is in summer session.

[Anonymous]

OP, a preschool setting is very different than a loose afternoon with parents at the park. A lot of kids behave differently around adults who are not their parents and like others have said, the teachers have dealt with stuff like this before. Also, behavior can change a lot in 3 months. Don’t get this kid negatively branded before he even has a chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The preschool director will figure it out without your input. I would leave it alone if the kid is not in your kid's class. MYOB.

He is in my son's class. His first day was yesterday.

Well which is it? At one point in your OP you say he's not in your son's class and then you say he is. Pick a story and stick with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The preschool director will figure it out without your input. I would leave it alone if the kid is not in your kid's class. MYOB.

He is in my son's class. His first day was yesterday.

Well which is it? At one point in your OP you say he's not in your son's class and then you say he is. Pick a story and stick with it.

OP here. This isn't that big of a deal. This is what I wrote:

Hello:

Struggling with this and looking for some opinions, please. My 2.5 yr old son is in preschool and a child we know from the neighborhood has just joined his class. We played with/interacted with him for about 6 months in the neighborhood park/playground before my son resumed preschool. He was extremely aggressive. He hits, he bites, he shakes kids, he growls, he pulls hair. We have seen this countless times. To the point, where we (and several other parents) leave the playground when we see him coming, or intentionally go play in another area away from him.

I am not blaming the child. I blame his parents, who do nothing when he gets aggressive, except say "Oh there he goes again!"

This child is not in my son's class. I am torn, but my first instinct is to say something to the preschool director.

I wrote this child is not. I meant to write- this child is NOW in my son's class.

So yes, he is currently in my kid's class.
Why are people hyper focused on this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, a preschool setting is very different than a loose afternoon with parents at the park. A lot of kids behave differently around adults who are not their parents and like others have said, the teachers have dealt with stuff like this before. Also, behavior can change a lot in 3 months. Don’t get this kid negatively branded before he even has a chance.

It’s funny you think OP has the slightest bit of empathy for this kid. OP truly does not give a shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The preschool director will figure it out without your input. I would leave it alone if the kid is not in your kid's class. MYOB.

He is in my son's class. His first day was yesterday.

Well which is it? At one point in your OP you say he's not in your son's class and then you say he is. Pick a story and stick with it.

OP here. This isn't that big of a deal. This is what I wrote:

Hello:

Struggling with this and looking for some opinions, please. My 2.5 yr old son is in preschool and a child we know from the neighborhood has just joined his class. We played with/interacted with him for about 6 months in the neighborhood park/playground before my son resumed preschool. He was extremely aggressive. He hits, he bites, he shakes kids, he growls, he pulls hair. We have seen this countless times. To the point, where we (and several other parents) leave the playground when we see him coming, or intentionally go play in another area away from him.

I am not blaming the child. I blame his parents, who do nothing when he gets aggressive, except say "Oh there he goes again!"

This child is not in my son's class. I am torn, but my first instinct is to say something to the preschool director.

I wrote this child is not. I meant to write- this child is NOW in my son's class.

So yes, he is currently in my kid's class.
Why are people hyper focused on this?

DP. Because you screwed up your original post in a significant way and lots of people don’t read an entire multi-page thread before responding. It would be nice if people gave you a chance by reading the full discussion to see if you had clarified before assuming the worst about you and making a stink about it, wouldn’t it? Maybe think about that.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you trust your preschool? Do you think they have experience with small children, sympathy for their growing pains, perspective on what is developmentally appropriate? If you don’t and think inserting yourself in the situation (assuming you have more experience/sympathy/perspective) would save your child and the rest of his class, then you may need re-think your choice of school.

[Anonymous]

Have a lawyer on speed dial?

[Anonymous]

A heads up is fine. All depends on the phrasing. It may help them to know acting out physically is an ongoing concern and not just a transition into care issue should he get handsy or chompy right off the bat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a lawyer on speed dial?

You're going to look back at this OP as a relatively minor problem in your kid's life. Take a deep breath and let it go until you see an indication of an actual problem.