Losing guest room and inlaws

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd use the nursery as a guest room for 6-12 months. Do you have an "extra" room, like a family or play room? We have a pretty tiny house (3 bedrooms, but one of them we use for our TV and bookshelves, our two kids share a room), and when we have guests, we close off the third bedroom and open up the foldout couch. Yes, it means the TV is not accessible when someone is staying there, but it's not a huge deal. It's just not realistic to expect families in expensive areas to have extra bedrooms not being used year-round.

OP here. The nursery is actually the TINIEST room in the house. It's like 8x9. We'd have to move all the furniture out of that room to fit a queen bed in there, including our rocking chair and changing table. And we don't really have room for all of that in our master bedroom. I'd be tripping over stuff piled to the ceiling while I'm up all night with a newborn. Also, I already have a bassinet in my room set up.

No one thinks my inlaws should stay at my parent's home? My parents have 3 lovely guest rooms. All of our friends and their kids stay there when they visit us (although normally my parents are gone on extended vacations when my friends stay there. My parents would be here when the new baby is born so someone can watch our boys while we're in the hospital). They live one block away.

That is QUITE the imposition on your parents. I think it's inappropriate that your friends are staying at your parents' house as it is. Stop being so cheap.

+1. I find it hard to believe that your parents are crazy about having so many of YOUR houseguests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How helpful are your in laws when they come?

OP here. They're not unhelpful. But no, we aren't expecting any help from them. That's DH's job to help me with baby and to take care of the boys.

[Anonymous]

Number 1: you plan your house for the people who LIVE IN IT. Not for guests.

Number 2: you can work any number of temporary solutions for when DH's parents come to visit. I'd bunk up your older kids together and they can have that room, but I'd make clear how much less comfortable it will be. And say you won't be offended if they choose a hotel instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Number 1: you plan your house for the people who LIVE IN IT. Not for guests.

Number 2: you can work any number of temporary solutions for when DH's parents come to visit. I'd bunk up your older kids together and they can have that room, but I'd make clear how much less comfortable it will be. And say you won't be offended if they choose a hotel instead.

Understanding this saved my marriage and family. I held onto the guest room and isolated an immediate family member who really needed the space. My visitors have been flexible since (couch, air mattress, the Airbnb 2 streets over that I’ve also personally stayed at, hotels).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd use the nursery as a guest room for 6-12 months. Do you have an "extra" room, like a family or play room? We have a pretty tiny house (3 bedrooms, but one of them we use for our TV and bookshelves, our two kids share a room), and when we have guests, we close off the third bedroom and open up the foldout couch. Yes, it means the TV is not accessible when someone is staying there, but it's not a huge deal. It's just not realistic to expect families in expensive areas to have extra bedrooms not being used year-round.

OP here. The nursery is actually the TINIEST room in the house. It's like 8x9. We'd have to move all the furniture out of that room to fit a queen bed in there, including our rocking chair and changing table. And we don't really have room for all of that in our master bedroom. I'd be tripping over stuff piled to the ceiling while I'm up all night with a newborn. Also, I already have a bassinet in my room set up.

No one thinks my inlaws should stay at my parent's home? My parents have 3 lovely guest rooms. All of our friends and their kids stay there when they visit us (although normally my parents are gone on extended vacations when my friends stay there. My parents would be here when the new baby is born so someone can watch our boys while we're in the hospital). They live one block away.

That is QUITE the imposition on your parents. I think it's inappropriate that your friends are staying at your parents' house as it is. Stop being so cheap.

It really depends on the family. My parents are friends with my brother's ILs and they stay have stayed in the ILs house and their beach house several times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd use the nursery as a guest room for 6-12 months. Do you have an "extra" room, like a family or play room? We have a pretty tiny house (3 bedrooms, but one of them we use for our TV and bookshelves, our two kids share a room), and when we have guests, we close off the third bedroom and open up the foldout couch. Yes, it means the TV is not accessible when someone is staying there, but it's not a huge deal. It's just not realistic to expect families in expensive areas to have extra bedrooms not being used year-round.

OP here. The nursery is actually the TINIEST room in the house. It's like 8x9. We'd have to move all the furniture out of that room to fit a queen bed in there, including our rocking chair and changing table. And we don't really have room for all of that in our master bedroom. I'd be tripping over stuff piled to the ceiling while I'm up all night with a newborn. Also, I already have a bassinet in my room set up.

No one thinks my inlaws should stay at my parent's home? My parents have 3 lovely guest rooms. All of our friends and their kids stay there when they visit us (although normally my parents are gone on extended vacations when my friends stay there. My parents would be here when the new baby is born so someone can watch our boys while we're in the hospital). They live one block away.

That is QUITE the imposition on your parents. I think it's inappropriate that your friends are staying at your parents' house as it is. Stop being so cheap.

+1. I find it hard to believe that your parents are crazy about having so many of YOUR houseguests.

OP here. My parents travel a lot of the year, so usually aren't there. They're actually thrilled about guests. A lot of the guests are from my side of the family too, so they're in town to see us and my parents.

[Anonymous]

If both sets of parents are willing, then having the ILs stay with your parents seems like a great solution.

If they're not, would the ILs be open to an AirBNB in the neighborhood?

[Anonymous]

If no one is willing to point blank ask the ILs, then go ahead and move your son into his new room. If ILs later decide to come you say you plan to make a guest room downstairs when time and finances allow, but for the time being you're at capacity unless you can figure out another place for that queen bed in the short term (an office or a den that can be hijacked for a short time?)

[Anonymous]

It seems like reasonable choices would be for them to stay in a hotel, but a pull out couch for them to use, let them have two bedrooms. I would be inclined to let them have two bedrooms for now, esp if they not stay for a week max. The kids are young enough to treat it like they get to have a special sleepover in one bedroom. Maybe your in laws will see how crazy it is once they come and plan to do a hotel for the next visit. I would also be inclined to take a backseat and let husband deal with it and figure out logistics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd use the nursery as a guest room for 6-12 months. Do you have an "extra" room, like a family or play room? We have a pretty tiny house (3 bedrooms, but one of them we use for our TV and bookshelves, our two kids share a room), and when we have guests, we close off the third bedroom and open up the foldout couch. Yes, it means the TV is not accessible when someone is staying there, but it's not a huge deal. It's just not realistic to expect families in expensive areas to have extra bedrooms not being used year-round.

OP here. The nursery is actually the TINIEST room in the house. It's like 8x9. We'd have to move all the furniture out of that room to fit a queen bed in there, including our rocking chair and changing table. And we don't really have room for all of that in our master bedroom. I'd be tripping over stuff piled to the ceiling while I'm up all night with a newborn. Also, I already have a bassinet in my room set up.

No one thinks my inlaws should stay at my parent's home? My parents have 3 lovely guest rooms. All of our friends and their kids stay there when they visit us (although normally my parents are gone on extended vacations when my friends stay there. My parents would be here when the new baby is born so someone can watch our boys while we're in the hospital). They live one block away.

Ha, with our #1 we solved that by just not having a rocking chair or changing table and having minimal baby stuff, but I get that not everyone wants to live like I did as a broke grad student.

That said, yeah, if your parents are a block away and they get along well with your in-laws and have space, that sounds like an excellent solution! My parents would be happy to host my in-laws for a short period if we lived in the same area and they would have a blast.

[Anonymous]

Uh well I would definitely send them to my parents’ house in your shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you put trundles under the two twin beds you have so that one kid can sleep in the other kids room when the ILs come and the ILs can sleep on the twin + trundle?

Or, buy two twin air mattresses instead of trundles, but do the same thing, with the advantage of the kids room air mattress can be deflated during the day so there is still some play space in that room.

One of these options. Have them sleep in the kids room and have one kid move temporarily into another room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh well I would definitely send them to my parents’ house in your shoes.

This seems like the obvious solution to me to, but the OP says she doesn't think the in-laws would be willing to stay there, so I'm confused.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Everyone's comments on giving my son the room really makes me think we need to do it asap. I'll work on it this weekend. I can tell it's been a big deal for him, he's so very proud of not peeing that night time diaper (he's been potty trained during the day since before 2) and is a bit teary eyed about leaving the nursery too. He's excited about the baby but I'm sure becoming a middle child is hard. I've already done 95% of the work for his room and have the curtains, decor and furniture ready to go. Just need to buy the mattress and hang everything. I'd also like to deep clean that nursery so both kids aren't sharing a closet.

[Anonymous]

What if you had a full size mattress for the guest room instead of a queen? Would that give you enough room to work with?