Losing guest room and inlaws

[Anonymous]

Well, we have a guest room, but I also have excellent boundaries and would have no problem saying "I'm sorry but we don't have a guest room for you to stay in - we'd be happy to pay for a nearby hotel though. It's up to you - you can stay in a hotel or we can postpone your visit."

[Anonymous]

Give each in law a twin room. Put boys on floor of baby’s room or one on floor in their room with in-law using twin bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, if DH won't ask, and they won't say if they are coming after the baby is here, then I say it is on DH to handle it if his parents make a surprise announcement to viist after a baby is born. There wasn't time to prep, so sorry, you are welcome to stay in a hotel. Or, DH can figure it all out since you'll be dealing with a newborn. This should not be your problem to own or solve.

Agree with this. No need to walk on eggshells around people who refuse simple communication. They know when baby is due, yes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since a visit from the IL is a possibility right after the baby is born and you have plans to build a guest space in the basement this plan would be for a single visit.
Move toddler into his big boy room and set it up for him as promised so that you are keeping your word and making a big deal about him being a big boy. This is a longterm move and one that has lasting impact on his confidence and his place in the family.
Set up the crib in your room temporarily just for the in law visit when you have a newborn. Put the guest bed in the nursery for that single visit. This won't be ideal but you need functional not perfect for this one visit. Most grandparents that are anti hotel are also willing to sacrifice perfection for proximity to their grand kids.

NP; Above is the best approach. It is important to move the toddler now, as promised. Dont want him thinking that the arrival of new baby is what is keeping him out of his room (which could easily overhear and/or miss-interpret).

And I hope you can handle the crib in your room for a short time.

DH (or someone else) needs to communicate to the in-lines when would be good times to visit (i.e. we prefer after the first week at home to give us time to settle in and before the second month when [insert excuse/reason here]).

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I'd use the nursery as a guest room for 6-12 months. Do you have an "extra" room, like a family or play room? We have a pretty tiny house (3 bedrooms, but one of them we use for our TV and bookshelves, our two kids share a room), and when we have guests, we close off the third bedroom and open up the foldout couch. Yes, it means the TV is not accessible when someone is staying there, but it's not a huge deal. It's just not realistic to expect families in expensive areas to have extra bedrooms not being used year-round.

[Anonymous]

Can you get a full sized bed for one off the kids rooms and have the grandparents stay there. That is what we do. Tiny house. Bedroom only has a full, tall dresser and book shelf. Or, keep the bed in the nursery or do a murphy bed and remove the crib/put in your room when they visit.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you bring up the options you can offer and ask them what they prefer? The last option always being "or you could stay in a hotel nearby."

[Anonymous]

Let your sweet son have his bedroom. How is that a question. He earned it. And don’t kick him out.

In-laws can stay in a hotel or wait a few years until you have a guest space.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the same boat - 4 bedroom house and expecting a 3rd kid. We're getting rid of the guest room. My inlaws will stay in a hotel. We have a finished basement but my MIL declared it "musty" (it's not) so hotels for them.

My responsibility is to my children and their confidence and their space in our home. My inlaws don't factor into that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd use the nursery as a guest room for 6-12 months. Do you have an "extra" room, like a family or play room? We have a pretty tiny house (3 bedrooms, but one of them we use for our TV and bookshelves, our two kids share a room), and when we have guests, we close off the third bedroom and open up the foldout couch. Yes, it means the TV is not accessible when someone is staying there, but it's not a huge deal. It's just not realistic to expect families in expensive areas to have extra bedrooms not being used year-round.

OP here. The nursery is actually the TINIEST room in the house. It's like 8x9. We'd have to move all the furniture out of that room to fit a queen bed in there, including our rocking chair and changing table. And we don't really have room for all of that in our master bedroom. I'd be tripping over stuff piled to the ceiling while I'm up all night with a newborn. Also, I already have a bassinet in my room set up.

No one thinks my inlaws should stay at my parent's home? My parents have 3 lovely guest rooms. All of our friends and their kids stay there when they visit us (although normally my parents are gone on extended vacations when my friends stay there. My parents would be here when the new baby is born so someone can watch our boys while we're in the hospital). They live one block away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd use the nursery as a guest room for 6-12 months. Do you have an "extra" room, like a family or play room? We have a pretty tiny house (3 bedrooms, but one of them we use for our TV and bookshelves, our two kids share a room), and when we have guests, we close off the third bedroom and open up the foldout couch. Yes, it means the TV is not accessible when someone is staying there, but it's not a huge deal. It's just not realistic to expect families in expensive areas to have extra bedrooms not being used year-round.

OP here. The nursery is actually the TINIEST room in the house. It's like 8x9. We'd have to move all the furniture out of that room to fit a queen bed in there, including our rocking chair and changing table. And we don't really have room for all of that in our master bedroom. I'd be tripping over stuff piled to the ceiling while I'm up all night with a newborn. Also, I already have a bassinet in my room set up.

No one thinks my inlaws should stay at my parent's home? My parents have 3 lovely guest rooms. All of our friends and their kids stay there when they visit us (although normally my parents are gone on extended vacations when my friends stay there. My parents would be here when the new baby is born so someone can watch our boys while we're in the hospital). They live one block away.

That is QUITE the imposition on your parents. I think it's inappropriate that your friends are staying at your parents' house as it is. Stop being so cheap.

[Anonymous]

This still isn't yours to solve. Get your son in his own big boy room and let your inlaws decide what they are willing to do with your husband's support.

[Anonymous]

Middle children are always expected to compromise. The oldest child always gets their own room and the baby gets special treatment for being the youngest. It affects their self-esteem. Don’t do this to your DS—move him into his new room asap and tell your DH to stand up to his parents about getting a hotel room.

[Anonymous]

If they’ll stay with your parents but not at a hotel then they are just being cheap/ so offer to pay for their hotel. “Sorry we no longer have a guest room, should have one again in 1-2 years.” Don’t delay putting your poor kid in his room when he met the requirements you laid out for him weeks ago!! Poor guy.

[Anonymous]

How helpful are your in laws when they come?