Husband’s cousin thinks I upstaged her at wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if she said it to your husband and not to you, then take it with a grain of salt. It's third hand information and you don't know the tone with which it was said. It might have been in a very complimentary way that indicated she liked your dress. Men tend to be very clueless and inept at deciphering tone and intent. If she had meant it in a rude or snarky way then your husband is an idiot for telling you.

This

[Anonymous]

It's a cute dress, but not flashy. You're fine. She's the one having a wedding during a pandemic, not sure where she gets off being judgy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a fine dress and very respectable. I’m not sure what the bride was complaining about. I almost wonder if something got lost in translation. Perhaps she was joking and actually saying in a complementary way that you looked really good? Maybe she was trying to compliment you and it just came across in the incorrect way.

I agree. Cute dress and can’t imagine how or why anyone would object.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a fine dress and very respectable. I’m not sure what the bride was complaining about. I almost wonder if something got lost in translation. Perhaps she was joking and actually saying in a complementary way that you looked really good? Maybe she was trying to compliment you and it just came across in the incorrect way.

I don’t think she was joking, DH said she was very upset. She said that I always “dress up” for casual events and think I’m better than everyone else. Except I don’t.... I just think I look better when I’m wearing more structured clothes. I wear a lot of dresses and skirts. I look sloppy as hell in jeans and a t shirt whereas other people can pull it off nicely.

The dress is pretty OP and I am sure you looked lovely. It sounds like your cousin is intimidated by you and has some of her own insecurities and hang-ups. While I agree she sounds upset, not chirpy and complimentary, and that is unfortunate, I think you need to throw this off.

You should think about sending her an email telling her how lovely her wedding was, how happy you and your husband were to be a part of it, and that you wish her and her new spouse many years of happiness. Don't mention the dress or the phone call. Perhaps a kind, not snarky or snippy, email will help her feel better about her wedding and your attendance at it.

Always take the high road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Small wedding due to covid. Just to preface, I wore this https://www.unique-vintage.com/collections/plus-size-dresses/products/unique-vintage-plus-size-1950s-black-sasha-swing-dress with pearls and a pair of black Mary Jane heels,

I’m 26 but I have the soul of a 60 year old. It’s just my style.


The bride wore a mid thigh reddish body con dress. It’s her style, her wedding and her dress was nothing like the one I wore. Their colors were red and black. The wedding was at an upscale restaurant and I checked with her before to make sure her dress wasn’t black because she had mentioned liking black wedding dresses.

So I was surprised when she called my husband (her cousin) from her honeymoon to say that she felt upstaged by my outfit. I feel like a terrible person. Would you feel offended by this dress??

Women should not wear black or white to a wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are you all? I attend a lot of weddings and half the guests wear black dresses.

Op if you upstaged the bride, she didn’t try hard enough or look bridal enough. There is nothing wrong with that dress.

Well guess what: It's incorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a fine dress and very respectable. I’m not sure what the bride was complaining about. I almost wonder if something got lost in translation. Perhaps she was joking and actually saying in a complementary way that you looked really good? Maybe she was trying to compliment you and it just came across in the incorrect way.

I don’t think she was joking, DH said she was very upset. She said that I always “dress up” for casual events and think I’m better than everyone else. Except I don’t.... I just think I look better when I’m wearing more structured clothes. I wear a lot of dresses and skirts. I look sloppy as hell in jeans and a t shirt whereas other people can pull it off nicely.

Uh. Why did your husband tell you this?? Was it said in the tone of “my cousin is a bitch, let’s avoid her as much as possible” or was he critiquing you as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you all? I attend a lot of weddings and half the guests wear black dresses.

Op if you upstaged the bride, she didn’t try hard enough or look bridal enough. There is nothing wrong with that dress.

Well guess what: It's incorrect.

NP here. No, the etiquette has changed. In the 21st century, you can wear black to a wedding.

[Anonymous]

Wth that dress is very vanilla

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would try to avoid wearing black to a wedding, but that dress is fine. It’s not revealing and it doesn’t look like a wedding dress.

Who avoids black at a wedding?!

Traditionally wearing black was your way of showing you didn't approve of the wedding. Indicated you were in mourning, not celebrating the event.

This is news to any guest at a formal Sat evening wedding affair. Everyone wears black... even MOB and bridesmaids.

[Anonymous]

Op, why oh why did your husband tell you?

He should have cut-off the conversation with her and said it was not appropriate to criticize you OR they are close and she was kidding. Then, your problem and your husband's problem that you choose to think so seriously about this.

[Anonymous]

No black at weddings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wth that dress is very vanilla

And yet the bride noticed how much attention OP was getting in her dress. The dress OP was wearing is actually very nice and she would have looked lovely. Sometimes showing lots of skin doesn't mean you look good, you look generic, everyone does it.

OP has a sense of personal style, enjoy it OP, you looked lovely so enjoy the compliment.

[Anonymous]

Most of the old color rules have faded away. Wearing red to a wedding used to convey you were a harlot or had slept with the groom.

[Anonymous]

OP ignore forget it move on

If she's that insecure to worry about your dress and not be crazy happy to have just married the love of her life it's not on you.