Does your teen/family have regular first thing in the morning bowel movements?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf?

+100
people are weird.

I will say that my DH told me his mother used to make him have a BM every morning. Talk about traumatizing!

I go every morning like clockwork. I drink two cups of coffee and I'm practically running to the bathroom. It's a nice perfect poop!

MADE him? What? Enema? Sit it out? Who has time for that? OMG this is the strangest thread.

[Anonymous]

I don’t even know what time my spouse and 6yr old poop. Or even if they poop every day. I only know when my 4yr old poops because we have to wipe his butt. My kids have never been constipated, even as babies. I don’t even think about it.

How do you even make someone poop on a schedule? Do you wake them up and give them coffee?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally agree with everyone that it’s weird to be this involved in a teen’s life....but...
Given how gross and crowded the MS and HS bathrooms are, it would actually be great to develop this habit. I know my teen held it because the bathroom was filled with mean girls vaping. I guess if your kid is in private school, they can poop whenever!

Both my kids put themselves on a poop schedule in preschool. My 4yr old tells us “no one poops at school except Larla” - this was part of a discussion with him about the fact that he needs to ask an adult to check / wipe his butt so it doesn’t get itchy. Poor Larla - the girl poops at school once and now she is “the girl who poops at school”.

[Anonymous]

How do you get on a poop schedule???
I had no idea this is a thing.
I poop when I have to poop and can’t imagine making myself go just because it’s a certain time of day. I mean my coffee usually gets things going in the am but I tend to poop several times a day. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Sheldon, is that you?

[Anonymous]

Being super regular will definitely look good on a college application, so I'm all for it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf?

+100
people are weird.

I will say that my DH told me his mother used to make him have a BM every morning. Talk about traumatizing!

I go every morning like clockwork. I drink two cups of coffee and I'm practically running to the bathroom. It's a nice perfect poop!

My mother has some sort of weird ass-fetish. Every night after dinner my dad would take the newspaper into the bathroom and hang out there for an hour. My mother would force us to go knock on the bathroom door to ask my dad "if he was okay". WTF? He's a grown man! How is a 7 yr old girl going to help him shit? Every single time I spent more than 30 seconds in the bathroom my mother would yell "Lauren, are you okay?" as if one day I'd answer "No, I've fallen in and am stuck" and she'd be like "I've been training for this!" Every time any of us would come out of the bathroom she'd ask if we "had bowel movement" and "how was it?" When I was in high school at some point I just told her "I refuse to talk to you about my shit" and got grounded for saying that. But I kept refusing and eventually she'd just keep asking if I was okay.

Also, we have a surprising number of family pictures that my mother took of people's asses. I was on the attic staircase and she called my name? Took a picture of my ass. My dad and brother were washing cars and she took a picture of them when they were leaning over washing the tire rims. I could keep going.

My dad and your dad must be related!! Your post is hilarious! My family just asked me what's so funny and is now more concerned than ever about the amount of time I spend on DCUM!

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old poops at the end of dinner every night. It’s kind of annoying because she disappears and then is gone at the beginning of cleanup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf?

+100
people are weird.

I will say that my DH told me his mother used to make him have a BM every morning. Talk about traumatizing!

I go every morning like clockwork. I drink two cups of coffee and I'm practically running to the bathroom. It's a nice perfect poop!

My mother has some sort of weird ass-fetish. Every night after dinner my dad would take the newspaper into the bathroom and hang out there for an hour. My mother would force us to go knock on the bathroom door to ask my dad "if he was okay". WTF? He's a grown man! How is a 7 yr old girl going to help him shit? Every single time I spent more than 30 seconds in the bathroom my mother would yell "Lauren, are you okay?" as if one day I'd answer "No, I've fallen in and am stuck" and she'd be like "I've been training for this!" Every time any of us would come out of the bathroom she'd ask if we "had bowel movement" and "how was it?" When I was in high school at some point I just told her "I refuse to talk to you about my shit" and got grounded for saying that. But I kept refusing and eventually she'd just keep asking if I was okay.

Also, we have a surprising number of family pictures that my mother took of people's asses. I was on the attic staircase and she called my name? Took a picture of my ass. My dad and brother were washing cars and she took a picture of them when they were leaning over washing the tire rims. I could keep going.

OMG! My grandmother was like this. She talked about poop nonstop and would ask me about my poop most of the times she saw me. She had IBS and would plan the day around her bathroom schedule. My mom told me that when she was a kid that my grandmother would ask her if she pooped that day upon coming home from school every day. My mom has a lot of anxiety around eating food from restaurants and public restrooms as a result. I wish I could say I was trolling, but unfortunately I am not.

My grandparents would discuss their BM status at dinner each night. It was weird and gross. I realized later they were probably on medication that increased constipation, but still. These were people who required you to leave the table to use a tissue.

Let this be a warning to you OP: Someday this will be your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf?

+100
people are weird.

I will say that my DH told me his mother used to make him have a BM every morning. Talk about traumatizing!

I go every morning like clockwork. I drink two cups of coffee and I'm practically running to the bathroom. It's a nice perfect poop!

MADE him? What? Enema? Sit it out? Who has time for that? OMG this is the strangest thread.

It's more common than you think! My grandmother would give my mom suppositories and enemas when she was a kid if she went more than two days without pooping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 14 year old poops at the end of dinner every night. It’s kind of annoying because she disappears and then is gone at the beginning of cleanup.

My dad always called that “dishpan diarrhea”

[Anonymous]

OP here.

I grew up in a place where access to a clean restroom is tough outside of home. I had an incident once when I was a teen and it is pretty embarrassing to me. My parents suggested drinking a big glass of water first thing after waking up and just trying to go after that. It took me a few weeks but I now go first thing in the morning consistently for the last 3 decades.

In this country access to a clean restroom is not such an issue until Covid came along. That is what got me thinking if that is something to recommend to my child.

[Anonymous]

micromange his poop? let it go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 14 year old poops at the end of dinner every night. It’s kind of annoying because she disappears and then is gone at the beginning of cleanup.

If it's her job to clean up from dinner, then just leave everything for her. It'll be there for her to do when she comes back from the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

I can’t get over you know your spouses poop schedule. Mine is frequently in the bathroom for long periods of the time but it is a running joke that he’s in there on the phone to get away from the family. It’s been worse the past year. As for the kids, no idea.