Does your teen/family have regular first thing in the morning bowel movements?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf?

+100
people are weird.

I will say that my DH told me his mother used to make him have a BM every morning. Talk about traumatizing!

I go every morning like clockwork. I drink two cups of coffee and I'm practically running to the bathroom. It's a nice perfect poop!

My mother has some sort of weird ass-fetish. Every night after dinner my dad would take the newspaper into the bathroom and hang out there for an hour. My mother would force us to go knock on the bathroom door to ask my dad "if he was okay". WTF? He's a grown man! How is a 7 yr old girl going to help him shit? Every single time I spent more than 30 seconds in the bathroom my mother would yell "Lauren, are you okay?" as if one day I'd answer "No, I've fallen in and am stuck" and she'd be like "I've been training for this!" Every time any of us would come out of the bathroom she'd ask if we "had bowel movement" and "how was it?" When I was in high school at some point I just told her "I refuse to talk to you about my shit" and got grounded for saying that. But I kept refusing and eventually she'd just keep asking if I was okay.

Also, we have a surprising number of family pictures that my mother took of people's asses. I was on the attic staircase and she called my name? Took a picture of my ass. My dad and brother were washing cars and she took a picture of them when they were leaning over washing the tire rims. I could keep going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf?

+100
people are weird.

I will say that my DH told me his mother used to make him have a BM every morning. Talk about traumatizing!

I go every morning like clockwork. I drink two cups of coffee and I'm practically running to the bathroom. It's a nice perfect poop!

My mother has some sort of weird ass-fetish. Every night after dinner my dad would take the newspaper into the bathroom and hang out there for an hour. My mother would force us to go knock on the bathroom door to ask my dad "if he was okay". WTF? He's a grown man! How is a 7 yr old girl going to help him shit? Every single time I spent more than 30 seconds in the bathroom my mother would yell "Lauren, are you okay?" as if one day I'd answer "No, I've fallen in and am stuck" and she'd be like "I've been training for this!" Every time any of us would come out of the bathroom she'd ask if we "had bowel movement" and "how was it?" When I was in high school at some point I just told her "I refuse to talk to you about my shit" and got grounded for saying that. But I kept refusing and eventually she'd just keep asking if I was okay.

Also, we have a surprising number of family pictures that my mother took of people's asses. I was on the attic staircase and she called my name? Took a picture of my ass. My dad and brother were washing cars and she took a picture of them when they were leaning over washing the tire rims. I could keep going.

OMG! My grandmother was like this. She talked about poop nonstop and would ask me about my poop most of the times she saw me. She had IBS and would plan the day around her bathroom schedule. My mom told me that when she was a kid that my grandmother would ask her if she pooped that day upon coming home from school every day. My mom has a lot of anxiety around eating food from restaurants and public restrooms as a result. I wish I could say I was trolling, but unfortunately I am not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wtf?

+100
people are weird.

I will say that my DH told me his mother used to make him have a BM every morning. Talk about traumatizing!

I go every morning like clockwork. I drink two cups of coffee and I'm practically running to the bathroom. It's a nice perfect poop!

My mother has some sort of weird ass-fetish. Every night after dinner my dad would take the newspaper into the bathroom and hang out there for an hour. My mother would force us to go knock on the bathroom door to ask my dad "if he was okay". WTF? He's a grown man! How is a 7 yr old girl going to help him shit? Every single time I spent more than 30 seconds in the bathroom my mother would yell "Lauren, are you okay?" as if one day I'd answer "No, I've fallen in and am stuck" and she'd be like "I've been training for this!" Every time any of us would come out of the bathroom she'd ask if we "had bowel movement" and "how was it?" When I was in high school at some point I just told her "I refuse to talk to you about my shit" and got grounded for saying that. But I kept refusing and eventually she'd just keep asking if I was okay.

Also, we have a surprising number of family pictures that my mother took of people's asses. I was on the attic staircase and she called my name? Took a picture of my ass. My dad and brother were washing cars and she took a picture of them when they were leaning over washing the tire rims. I could keep going.

OMG! My grandmother was like this. She talked about poop nonstop and would ask me about my poop most of the times she saw me. She had IBS and would plan the day around her bathroom schedule. My mom told me that when she was a kid that my grandmother would ask her if she pooped that day upon coming home from school every day. My mom has a lot of anxiety around eating food from restaurants and public restrooms as a result. I wish I could say I was trolling, but unfortunately I am not.

My grandparents would discuss their BM status at dinner each night. It was weird and gross. I realized later they were probably on medication that increased constipation, but still. These were people who required you to leave the table to use a tissue.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree with everyone that it’s weird to be this involved in a teen’s life....but...
Given how gross and crowded the MS and HS bathrooms are, it would actually be great to develop this habit. I know my teen held it because the bathroom was filled with mean girls vaping. I guess if your kid is in private school, they can poop whenever!

[Anonymous]

Good god, I have no idea about either of their bathroom habits!

[Anonymous]

You sound like Bev Goldberg.

[Anonymous]

My child is 6 and I don’t monitor poops anymore. I cannot imagine the neurosis required for a parent to be this involved in their child’s poop schedule when they’re teens!

Wow.

[Anonymous]

Aren't you worried about a line for the bathroom in the morning?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like Bev Goldberg.

I knew that OP reminded me of someone! You hit the nail on the head!

[Anonymous]

Yall are way too much in your children's business.

Way.
Way too much.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea when anyone in my house poops except for my 3 year old because he still yells for me to wipe his butt.

[Anonymous]

LOL. I didn't know this was humanly possible. What if I wanted to poop every day at 6 pm? How do I do it?

[Anonymous]

I have not monitored my kids’ poop schedules since they learned how to wipe their own butts. It is not something I want or need to know. Too creepy.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like the woman who told her son she owned his testicles

[Anonymous]

What!!?? I figured the morning deuce was due to coffee LOL.

I have NO idea when my kid poops. Good lord.