Dating A " God Fearing" Person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately I have to agree with the rest who say you are not compatible. He previously slept around alot. Now he is saying he wants to be heavily religious and god-fearing. He most likely will become even more intense about religion in his daily life or he will revert back to his previous ways. Either is a recipe for marriage sorrow if you 1) have a problem with your husband sleeping around, or 2) do not have the same religious viewpoints and desire to follow them.

It sounds like he would be better suited for someone who is more heavily religious and would want him to double-down on that being a heavy part of his life.

OP here. He did a lot of causal dating and realized that he no longer wanted that life. He wanted to be a better man and an example for his future kids. He doesn’t sleep around now. That’s what lead him to have a spiritual connection with god.

[Anonymous]

I think most people are spiritual. Not necessarily religious.

He’s somewhere on a journey and I don’t think he will remain static. So where else on the spectrum might be end up? Personally I’m not religious but feel very comfortable in mainline Christian churches. I would never be compatible with an evangelical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he “God fearing” or just someone who has come to have strong Christian values? If he wears his values on his sleeve moe on.

OP here. We talked more and he is “ spiritually connected with god”. He doesn’t really see himself in church again, but he wants to have a connection with god.

Sounds like mental illness. I'm not trying funny, nor am I particularly against religion. This man is not stable, he's self-medicating. His first method was indiscriminate sex and partying, possibly drugs, now it's a "spiritual connection".


He should be a hard pass for you, but from all your posts you're going to do it anyway, and waltz right into heartbreak despite the big bright red flags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met a new guy that I really like but he is a newfound god fearing person. I never grew up religious but my parents were raised catholic. I believe in god, but I have no interest in taking up a religion. He was raised catholic, abandoned that faith as he grew up, and is now religious again. He is not into going to church but he believes in having a relationship with god, doing your best in every situation, treating everyone with love and kindness because we are all gods children, etc. I'm sure I'm not fully representing it well. He said he was living a life that didn't make him proud ( nothing criminal - partying and sleeping around, etc.) and he wanted to change to be a better man. He looked to god to lead him in the right direction, and felt he wasn't doing right by god, etc. I respect his choice to include god in his life. I'm not interested in that lifestyle though.

So it doesn't matter how cute and funny he is or how good his career is, or that he claims to want marriage and kids, you are not interested in a huge piece of who he fundamentally is.


How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he “God fearing” or just someone who has come to have strong Christian values? If he wears his values on his sleeve moe on.

OP here. We talked more and he is “ spiritually connected with god”. He doesn’t really see himself in church again, but he wants to have a connection with god.

Sounds like mental illness. I'm not trying funny, nor am I particularly against religion. This man is not stable, he's self-medicating. His first method was indiscriminate sex and partying, possibly drugs, now it's a "spiritual connection".


He should be a hard pass for you, but from all your posts you're going to do it anyway, and waltz right into heartbreak despite the big bright red flags.

OP here. So everyone in their twenties has a mental illness? He did what most twenty somethings do - drinking, going to bars, and hooking up. He has never done drugs. He decided late twenties that he was over that lifestyle and wanted to be a better version of himself. He wanted to be an example for future kids. He grew up. In that time, he got more into god and having a spiritual connection with god. He has been this way for 5 years now. It’s important to him that his partner believes in god and lives their life with god in mind. That is not a mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a new guy that I really like but he is a newfound god fearing person. I never grew up religious but my parents were raised catholic. I believe in god, but I have no interest in taking up a religion. He was raised catholic, abandoned that faith as he grew up, and is now religious again. He is not into going to church but he believes in having a relationship with god, doing your best in every situation, treating everyone with love and kindness because we are all gods children, etc. I'm sure I'm not fully representing it well. He said he was living a life that didn't make him proud ( nothing criminal - partying and sleeping around, etc.) and he wanted to change to be a better man. He looked to god to lead him in the right direction, and felt he wasn't doing right by god, etc. I respect his choice to include god in his life. I'm not interested in that lifestyle though.

So it doesn't matter how cute and funny he is or how good his career is, or that he claims to want marriage and kids, you are not interested in a huge piece of who he fundamentally is.


How old are you?

OP here. I’m not into going to church but I’m fine with believing in good and living your life to be the best you can be. Treating others how you want to be treated, loyalty, respecting everyone, etc. I’m 32 and he is 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he “God fearing” or just someone who has come to have strong Christian values? If he wears his values on his sleeve moe on.

OP here. We talked more and he is “ spiritually connected with god”. He doesn’t really see himself in church again, but he wants to have a connection with god.

Sounds like mental illness. I'm not trying funny, nor am I particularly against religion. This man is not stable, he's self-medicating. His first method was indiscriminate sex and partying, possibly drugs, now it's a "spiritual connection".


He should be a hard pass for you, but from all your posts you're going to do it anyway, and waltz right into heartbreak despite the big bright red flags.

Most people party and sleep around when they’re young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he “God fearing” or just someone who has come to have strong Christian values? If he wears his values on his sleeve moe on.

OP here. We talked more and he is “ spiritually connected with god”. He doesn’t really see himself in church again, but he wants to have a connection with god.

Sounds like mental illness. I'm not trying funny, nor am I particularly against religion. This man is not stable, he's self-medicating. His first method was indiscriminate sex and partying, possibly drugs, now it's a "spiritual connection".


He should be a hard pass for you, but from all your posts you're going to do it anyway, and waltz right into heartbreak despite the big bright red flags.

OP here. So everyone in their twenties has a mental illness? He did what most twenty somethings do - drinking, going to bars, and hooking up. He has never done drugs. He decided late twenties that he was over that lifestyle and wanted to be a better version of himself. He wanted to be an example for future kids. He grew up. In that time, he got more into god and having a spiritual connection with god. He has been this way for 5 years now. It’s important to him that his partner believes in god and lives their life with god in mind. That is not a mental illness.

Do you believe in God and want to live your life with God in mind? You sort of said you didn’t so I’m confused by your protests here. A consensus on DCUM is rare and a good indicator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he “God fearing” or just someone who has come to have strong Christian values? If he wears his values on his sleeve moe on.

OP here. We talked more and he is “ spiritually connected with god”. He doesn’t really see himself in church again, but he wants to have a connection with god.

Sounds like mental illness. I'm not trying funny, nor am I particularly against religion. This man is not stable, he's self-medicating. His first method was indiscriminate sex and partying, possibly drugs, now it's a "spiritual connection".


He should be a hard pass for you, but from all your posts you're going to do it anyway, and waltz right into heartbreak despite the big bright red flags.

Most people party and sleep around when they’re young.

Yes but most don't become god-fearing at 35 to help them make good decisions in life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You deserves better. Move on and let him find another person.

Fixed that for the PP who sounds...nevermind. I think you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a new guy that I really like but he is a newfound god fearing person. I never grew up religious but my parents were raised catholic. I believe in god, but I have no interest in taking up a religion. He was raised catholic, abandoned that faith as he grew up, and is now religious again. He is not into going to church but he believes in having a relationship with god, doing your best in every situation, treating everyone with love and kindness because we are all gods children, etc. I'm sure I'm not fully representing it well. He said he was living a life that didn't make him proud ( nothing criminal - partying and sleeping around, etc.) and he wanted to change to be a better man. He looked to god to lead him in the right direction, and felt he wasn't doing right by god, etc. I respect his choice to include god in his life. I'm not interested in that lifestyle though.

So it doesn't matter how cute and funny he is or how good his career is, or that he claims to want marriage and kids, you are not interested in a huge piece of who he fundamentally is.


How old are you?

OP here. I’m not into going to church but I’m fine with believing in good and living your life to be the best you can be. Treating others how you want to be treated, loyalty, respecting everyone, etc. I’m 32 and he is 35.

You can be all of that without being "god fearing" and living with God in your life. None of that has anything to do with religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he “God fearing” or just someone who has come to have strong Christian values? If he wears his values on his sleeve moe on.

OP here. We talked more and he is “ spiritually connected with god”. He doesn’t really see himself in church again, but he wants to have a connection with god.

Sounds like mental illness. I'm not trying funny, nor am I particularly against religion. This man is not stable, he's self-medicating. His first method was indiscriminate sex and partying, possibly drugs, now it's a "spiritual connection".


He should be a hard pass for you, but from all your posts you're going to do it anyway, and waltz right into heartbreak despite the big bright red flags.

OP here. So everyone in their twenties has a mental illness? He did what most twenty somethings do - drinking, going to bars, and hooking up. He has never done drugs. He decided late twenties that he was over that lifestyle and wanted to be a better version of himself. He wanted to be an example for future kids. He grew up. In that time, he got more into god and having a spiritual connection with god. He has been this way for 5 years now. It’s important to him that his partner believes in god and lives their life with god in mind. That is not a mental illness.

That's not what I said, you know that. You are also changing what you are saying about him in every other post. But why are you here? We didn't come into your house and demand an explanation for why you are dating this man. You came and asked if this was a good idea, you have been told that it isn't , you have been told the red flags. It's not the answer you wanted so now you're going to become indignant.

You're 32 you are desperate for marriage and kids, this guy is telling you what you want to hear, and you want to be told it's totally fine, so you can push through with your marriage and baby plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a new guy that I really like but he is a newfound god fearing person. I never grew up religious but my parents were raised catholic. I believe in god, but I have no interest in taking up a religion. He was raised catholic, abandoned that faith as he grew up, and is now religious again. He is not into going to church but he believes in having a relationship with god, doing your best in every situation, treating everyone with love and kindness because we are all gods children, etc. I'm sure I'm not fully representing it well. He said he was living a life that didn't make him proud ( nothing criminal - partying and sleeping around, etc.) and he wanted to change to be a better man. He looked to god to lead him in the right direction, and felt he wasn't doing right by god, etc. I respect his choice to include god in his life. I'm not interested in that lifestyle though.

So it doesn't matter how cute and funny he is or how good his career is, or that he claims to want marriage and kids, you are not interested in a huge piece of who he fundamentally is.


How old are you?

OP here. I’m not into going to church but I’m fine with believing in good and living your life to be the best you can be. Treating others how you want to be treated, loyalty, respecting everyone, etc. I’m 32 and he is 35.

You can be all of that without being "god fearing" and living with God in your life. None of that has anything to do with religion.

Yeah it concerns me that he got to 30 before he realized he should treat others with respect and kindness and needs "god" for him to continue doing so at 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he “God fearing” or just someone who has come to have strong Christian values? If he wears his values on his sleeve moe on.

OP here. We talked more and he is “ spiritually connected with god”. He doesn’t really see himself in church again, but he wants to have a connection with god.

Sounds like mental illness. I'm not trying funny, nor am I particularly against religion. This man is not stable, he's self-medicating. His first method was indiscriminate sex and partying, possibly drugs, now it's a "spiritual connection".


He should be a hard pass for you, but from all your posts you're going to do it anyway, and waltz right into heartbreak despite the big bright red flags.

OP here. So everyone in their twenties has a mental illness? He did what most twenty somethings do - drinking, going to bars, and hooking up. He has never done drugs. He decided late twenties that he was over that lifestyle and wanted to be a better version of himself. He wanted to be an example for future kids. He grew up. In that time, he got more into god and having a spiritual connection with god. He has been this way for 5 years now. It’s important to him that his partner believes in god and lives their life with god in mind. That is not a mental illness.

Do you believe in God and want to live your life with God in mind? You sort of said you didn’t so I’m confused by your protests here. A consensus on DCUM is rare and a good indicator.

OP here. I'm defending him. He is a great guy. Highly educated, great career, and a great person. He was raised with good values. He has always been kind, respectful, and loving. He did grow up and decide he no longer wanted to disrespect himself and others by having casual sex. He wanted to be an example for his future kids about respecting your body and having sex with only people you're in a commented relationship with and love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met a new guy that I really like but he is a newfound god fearing person. I never grew up religious but my parents were raised catholic. I believe in god, but I have no interest in taking up a religion. He was raised catholic, abandoned that faith as he grew up, and is now religious again. He is not into going to church but he believes in having a relationship with god, doing your best in every situation, treating everyone with love and kindness because we are all gods children, etc. I'm sure I'm not fully representing it well. He said he was living a life that didn't make him proud ( nothing criminal - partying and sleeping around, etc.) and he wanted to change to be a better man. He looked to god to lead him in the right direction, and felt he wasn't doing right by god, etc. I respect his choice to include god in his life. I'm not interested in that lifestyle though.

So it doesn't matter how cute and funny he is or how good his career is, or that he claims to want marriage and kids, you are not interested in a huge piece of who he fundamentally is.


How old are you?

OP here. I’m not into going to church but I’m fine with believing in good and living your life to be the best you can be. Treating others how you want to be treated, loyalty, respecting everyone, etc. I’m 32 and he is 35.

You can be all of that without being "god fearing" and living with God in your life. None of that has anything to do with religion.

Yeah it concerns me that he got to 30 before he realized he should treat others with respect and kindness and needs "god" for him to continue doing so at 35.

OP here. You're totally missing what I said. He was always kind. He just felt like he wasn't respecting himself and others by having casual sex. He decided partying with friends every weekend and sleeping around wasn't what he wanted anymore. Most people decided that around that time when they're ready to settle down.