Dating A " God Fearing" Person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t necessarily have to be an issue but if he’s not plugged into a church that isn’t all cult-like, he is at risk of getting sucked in. Some churches out there are c-r-a-z-y and would be super offensive to me (no leadership roles for women, their marriage “counseling” is basically just telling women to endure whatever because “sanctity” of marriage, teaching traditional gender roles to kids, political homogeneity, etc.). I am a Christian but I would be wary of someone who hasn’t found their place and community. There are lots of great Christian communities but also some that are NOT for me - and likely not for you given your post.

+1, agreed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like, gasp, a good person.

Not really. It sounds like something he’s trying out and isn’t super committed to. How long was he sleeping around? How long has been a man if his? Religion probably feels familiar because of his upbringing, so that’s an easy outlet. Yet, he’s not committed enough to go to Church. It sounds like religion is the new flavor of the week.

DP and that is not my take. I think there is risk, but no way to gauge his commitment from something posted not even 500 words. Rather my larger worry is an expectation to judge himself, and others, much like you’re describing. That alone is a faulty start. So she just needs to understand what growth looks like for him. I suspect the philosophy of submission to your own will vs the Will of a principle larger than her expertise is something that may be difficult to reconcile.

You could be write but I don’t think that is a practical assumption to make based off of the info OP provided.

[Anonymous]

All that talk of god would make me itchy, but if you like him and it doesn’t bother you too much, you could see where it goes.

[Anonymous]

Is he “God fearing” or just someone who has come to have strong Christian values? If he wears his values on his sleeve moe on.

[Anonymous]

So this is a big part of him that you are not interested in.

So what are you interested in his looks? His money? His status?

Bio clock ticking? Are you cool raising kids in the church?

What are his thoughts on abortion, homosexuality? do they align with yours? Would he be open to attending a church that doesn't condemn those things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like, gasp, a good person.

Not really. It sounds like something he’s trying out and isn’t super committed to. How long was he sleeping around? How long has been a man if his? Religion probably feels familiar because of his upbringing, so that’s an easy outlet. Yet, he’s not committed enough to go to Church. It sounds like religion is the new flavor of the week.

Agree with the "not really." If he was such a "good person," he wouldn't have to turn to this as his crutch to make the right decisions. What happens when the religion piece gets boring or he's not interested in it anymore? What will help him make good decisions then?

[Anonymous]

DH is similar. He is always more religious than me but I initially found that sweet. Now he became lot more religious and I cannot take it. God forbid if I initiate sex. It must be because of my sinful thoughts and we need to pray to cure me of this.

[Anonymous]

This Isn't going anywhere OP.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a great match... for a woman that isn't you. Not everyone is compatible.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately I have to agree with the rest who say you are not compatible. He previously slept around alot. Now he is saying he wants to be heavily religious and god-fearing. He most likely will become even more intense about religion in his daily life or he will revert back to his previous ways. Either is a recipe for marriage sorrow if you 1) have a problem with your husband sleeping around, or 2) do not have the same religious viewpoints and desire to follow them.

It sounds like he would be better suited for someone who is more heavily religious and would want him to double-down on that being a heavy part of his life.

[Anonymous]

You probably won't be able to convince him to go to the swingers club with you, but you could go solo.

[Anonymous]

He deserves better. Move on and let him find a better person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he “God fearing” or just someone who has come to have strong Christian values? If he wears his values on his sleeve moe on.

OP here. We talked more and he is “ spiritually connected with god”. He doesn’t really see himself in church again, but he wants to have a connection with god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So this is a big part of him that you are not interested in.

So what are you interested in his looks? His money? His status?

Bio clock ticking? Are you cool raising kids in the church?

What are his thoughts on abortion, homosexuality? do they align with yours? Would he be open to attending a church that doesn't condemn those things?

OP here. He is cute, funny, and sex is good. He treats me as an equal and is very kind. He takes time to really talk and for me to be heard. He has a good career and wants marriage and kids.

He doesn’t want to go to church. He just what’s a spiritual connection with god.

We are on the same page with homosexuality and abortion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is similar. He is always more religious than me but I initially found that sweet. Now he became lot more religious and I cannot take it. God forbid if I initiate sex. It must be because of my sinful thoughts and we need to pray to cure me of this.

OP here. We have lots of sex and he loves when I initiate it.