Dating A " God Fearing" Person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he “God fearing” or just someone who has come to have strong Christian values? If he wears his values on his sleeve moe on.

OP here. We talked more and he is “ spiritually connected with god”. He doesn’t really see himself in church again, but he wants to have a connection with god.

Sounds like mental illness. I'm not trying funny, nor am I particularly against religion. This man is not stable, he's self-medicating. His first method was indiscriminate sex and partying, possibly drugs, now it's a "spiritual connection".


He should be a hard pass for you, but from all your posts you're going to do it anyway, and waltz right into heartbreak despite the big bright red flags.

OP here. So everyone in their twenties has a mental illness? He did what most twenty somethings do - drinking, going to bars, and hooking up. He has never done drugs. He decided late twenties that he was over that lifestyle and wanted to be a better version of himself. He wanted to be an example for future kids. He grew up. In that time, he got more into god and having a spiritual connection with god. He has been this way for 5 years now. It’s important to him that his partner believes in god and lives their life with god in mind. That is not a mental illness.

OP, remember where you are posting. I say this as a woman of faith who is not religious at all, but believes and God and Christ. Your story is like most people who grow to have a relationship with the Lord, and learn a new way of walking. There is nothing wrong with wanting a complimentary partner, the bible talks about this. There is nothing unusual about "sinners" doing a 180 and living life without the same attitude. I am someone that strongly loves and worships, but no one would know that unless they knew me. I don't have strict rules of engagement, because I know my own boundaries and accept people where they are.

I was married to a "religious" person, and dated a handful of "religious" people. I grew up in and around the church. First, the ministry matters. A poster on p1 mentioned this and it is true. Every church is not a good one. Second, people that walk in faith always work on a continuum. That is the life journey. That your ideaology isn't aligned with that causes the first red flag. There are strong positions some people have on roles, especially with family and in a marriage, or even on birth control and women's rights. It is important to be aware of that and understand what being "saved" means to him. From my experience of meeting true blue believers and those that were always stuck on baby milk, those that truly change their life don't necessarily walk around with a bible on their desk once they've matured a bit more spiritually. They are more tolerant of different opinions. Which brings me to my 3rd point - he is early in his walk. He is scanning his environment for threats. This is a matter of his spiritual maturity and things he needs to succeed. Under other circumstances, it may not be a red flag. But given who you are, it is a major red flag. Finally, I married (and divorced) a "religious" man that has never truly walked in Love. I also dated religious men and found that very often they had a control issue or some major insecurity if they were hard and fast on the rules of engagement and judging where someone else was. The person I settled with, like me, we eventually discussed religion but our character truly brought things through. I will also share that there are men I am friends with who are not believers, or believe but don't practice worship. Some of those men are more principled and holy than anyone sitting in a church pew every Sunday.

To thine own self be true. If you know you have a major conflict here with religion, I hope my experience gives a little bit of insight into the characteristics *often* associated with people on a progressive spiritual journey. He believes in submission to a higher authority, and a very different attitude on life. Not only that, but he is very fragile and immature in his understanding of what that means. Different risks for you. Just make sure you go in with your eyes open. Time tells all.

Can I getta Amen??