Friends dropped us

[Anonymous]

Get a real problem. And more importantly, stop having social gatherings, for christ sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about you find different friends who you actually like.

OP - how do we do this when the loud mom is trash talking us?
There’s another nice mom we spent time with last year and she pretends she doesn’t see me every time

Hmm, ok. So — there’s another mom you spent time with last year, not another *nice* mom. Nice people don’t act this way.

OP - I know and that’s why it’s all so confusing to me. When we were friendly with the loud mom she was always trash talking different people because of perceived slights and making it clear that others shouldn’t be friends with them

No OP you are still not getting it. You seemed to be confused: Why are the nice moms putting up with the mean mom? Here is the answer: Because they are NOT nice moms. Your classification of them has been faulty. Once you understand that none of them are good people, this will cease to be confusing.

[Anonymous]

What is wrong with you?
STAY HOME

How freaking selfish are you and your ex-friends? WTF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stop going to events since we're in the middle of the pandemic and the laughing stock of the world.

Seriously! I had to check the date of the post because I assumed it was old because you are not supposed to be at events!!

It was a golf competition for the ten kids in the pod, 6 families including some cousins.
Most of us were sitting on the grass away from each other

Oh, is that all? And of course, golf IS essential

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were friends with another couple through our kids, we each have three kids the same age and go to the same camp.

The mom is definitely a mean girl but also very fake, over the winter I reached out to her a few times and didn’t hear back, which I assumed was just Covid insanity related. Turns out she and her husband are totally fading us, her DH avoids us and will barely say hello, she says hi but also we’ve heard from others that she’s trash talking us.

Today we were at an event for the kids and she and her friends were huddled in a corner and it was clear they were talking about us.
Also another mom had confirmed this last month.

We’ve no idea why they’re being like this, though they have a bunch of issues and so it’s also not a surprise, it’s a bit of a relief actually because she’s a drama queen. But it’s hard to know how to act at camp, especially as they’ve brought other moms into it. Also it makes me sad as all the parents socialize with the kids so we can tell our kids are being excluded from stuff.

WWYD?

What kind of trash talking? Specifically? Is she making stuff up?

OP I don’t know why she’s pulled back or what exactly she’s saying about us. There’s another mom I’ve known for years who just told me to watch my back with her. There’s nothing I would have done or said about her, but she was saying stuff that was really mean spirited about someone else. I told her we didn’t know the full story so shouldn’t judge and she was really angry about that.

I continue to be bewildered why you remain engaged with this. Detach. Move on. You cannot control others. It doesn’t matter why she has decided you aren’t worthy anymore. Eventually she’ll get hers. Stop letting her live rent free in your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about you find different friends who you actually like.

OP - how do we do this when the loud mom is trash talking us?
There’s another nice mom we spent time with last year and she pretends she doesn’t see me every time

Hmm, ok. So — there’s another mom you spent time with last year, not another *nice* mom. Nice people don’t act this way.

OP - I know and that’s why it’s all so confusing to me. When we were friendly with the loud mom she was always trash talking different people because of perceived slights and making it clear that others shouldn’t be friends with them

And you went along with that and now it’s your turn to be the target?

You should have disengaged with her ages ago. People who badmouth others aren’t worthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I know and that’s why it’s all so confusing to me. When we were friendly with the loud mom she was always trash talking different people because of perceived slights and making it clear that others shouldn’t be friends with them

And you went along with that and now it’s your turn to be the target?

You should have disengaged with her ages ago. People who badmouth others aren’t worthy.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey there, OP. We had a mean mom in our neighborhood. Everyone was a little afraid of her. When she got into a spat with another mom, the rest of us didn't rally around mean mom and start ignoring the other mom. If anything, it reinforced how awful she was. We all tried our best to stay out of the whole thing.

My point is, if the mean mom in your social circle is trash talking you and the other moms are going along with it, they're immature and probably have low self-esteem. You probably shouldn't hang around them anyway. Mean mom sounds like she realized you had her figured out (you called her bitchiness out) and she decided to start trash talking you to all the other moms before you beat her to it. Because mean moms assume everyone else is evil like them, think like them, and would do the same crazy shit they do.

As previous posters said, cultivate other friendships. Try reaching out to another kid's mom from their school class and see if you can arrange an outdoor play date.

^^^ Also, wanted to say that the best thing you can do is to act like it doesn't bother you at all. Be as nice as you can to them all, even mean mom. Smile, say hi (even if they ignore you). If any of those ladies are actually decent people who are just afraid of her, or if it turns out she's saying things about you that are untrue and making people avoid you, eventually they will figure it out. Not that you should hang around and wait for that to happen. But, meanwhile, take the high road.

OP
Thank you. This is good advice
I do get the impression that a lot of these moms are sheep, I’m as friendly as I can be
I’m also somewhat relieved not to be caught up in it all anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about you find different friends who you actually like.

OP - how do we do this when the loud mom is trash talking us?
There’s another nice mom we spent time with last year and she pretends she doesn’t see me every time

Hmm, ok. So — there’s another mom you spent time with last year, not another *nice* mom. Nice people don’t act this way.

OP - I know and that’s why it’s all so confusing to me. When we were friendly with the loud mom she was always trash talking different people because of perceived slights and making it clear that others shouldn’t be friends with them

No OP you are still not getting it. You seemed to be confused: Why are the nice moms putting up with the mean mom? Here is the answer: Because they are NOT nice moms. Your classification of them has been faulty. Once you understand that none of them are good people, this will cease to be confusing.

OP
I know the ‘nice’ mom is meek but her behavior is still disappointing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about you find different friends who you actually like.

OP - how do we do this when the loud mom is trash talking us?
There’s another nice mom we spent time with last year and she pretends she doesn’t see me every time

Hmm, ok. So — there’s another mom you spent time with last year, not another *nice* mom. Nice people don’t act this way.

OP - I know and that’s why it’s all so confusing to me. When we were friendly with the loud mom she was always trash talking different people because of perceived slights and making it clear that others shouldn’t be friends with them

And you went along with that and now it’s your turn to be the target?

You should have disengaged with her ages ago. People who badmouth others aren’t worthy.

OP
I didn’t go along with it, that’s why I’m being faded

[Anonymous]

Walk up to the huddled group. "Hey..... So what sort of s*** is being spewed this week? Can I disspell any rumors for you?"

Then move on. Life isn't an episode of Real Housewives.

[Anonymous]

Move on. Who wants her nasty germs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you care? And, why are you going to events with COVID. You are why we cannot reopen schools.

OP - there are several families that are in pods together

Pods plural? That’s not a pod. That’s just hanging out with whoever you want and pretending you’re being responsible. Come on.

[Anonymous]

Op, you don’t sound very nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stop going to events since we're in the middle of the pandemic and the laughing stock of the world.

Seriously! I had to check the date of the post because I assumed it was old because you are not supposed to be at events!!

?
lol