Do you judge “perfect” family homes?

[Anonymous]

I prefer a bit of mess so I am more comfortable with our house which goes in cycles. Yours does not seem kid friendly at all with the glass so I wpikd be concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUMlandia is the judgiest group of people. You will find that many people on this site have a hard time accepting and understanding families that are unlike their own. I think people in the real world are not so judgemental.

They are!

[Anonymous]

I’m like you OP and I get comments all the time about how “perfect” and “clean” it all is. It’s just how I like things, and my kids have learned to clean up after themselves.

BUT I actually mess up the house a bit before guests come over, to minimize the comments. Like, I’ll put out a few toys and leave some papers on the counter or whatever. I find it helps make other people, who are not as ocd as I am, more comfortable. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear people post this once a month. I will not judge you for having a perfect house, but I will watch my kid like a hawk and it won't be as fun for me or her.

I agree with the above

Yes, it can be exhausting to worry so much when visiting a house that isn't set up for kids, by which I mean "spilt milk" isn't just a quick mess to sponge up, it's an expensive disaster.

This is Op. We only have milk in the kitchen/dining areas. If you spill, I’d grab a rag and the glass or hardwood would be fine. If you spill milk on my fabric couches or living room rugs, that’s more of a hassle, but wouldn’t that be true in anyone’s house, messy or clean?

Well I allow guests to snack and drink wherever we are hanging out, whether that’s the living room or play room. My kids are not used to only being allowed to drink or snack in the kitchen/dining room though that’s clearly a neater, cleaner way to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear people post this once a month. I will not judge you for having a perfect house, but I will watch my kid like a hawk and it won't be as fun for me or her.

I agree with the above

Yes, it can be exhausting to worry so much when visiting a house that isn't set up for kids, by which I mean "spilt milk" isn't just a quick mess to sponge up, it's an expensive disaster.

This is Op. We only have milk in the kitchen/dining areas. If you spill, I’d grab a rag and the glass or hardwood would be fine. If you spill milk on my fabric couches or living room rugs, that’s more of a hassle, but wouldn’t that be true in anyone’s house, messy or clean?

Well I allow guests to snack and drink wherever we are hanging out, whether that’s the living room or play room. My kids are not used to only being allowed to drink or snack in the kitchen/dining room though that’s clearly a neater, cleaner way to live.

OK, I wan't talking about spilt milk literally. Any normal thing that kdis do feels amplified in an adult space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swear people post this once a month. I will not judge you for having a perfect house, but I will watch my kid like a hawk and it won't be as fun for me or her.

It's just another humble brag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m like you OP and I get comments all the time about how “perfect” and “clean” it all is. It’s just how I like things, and my kids have learned to clean up after themselves.

BUT I actually mess up the house a bit before guests come over, to minimize the comments. Like, I’ll put out a few toys and leave some papers on the counter or whatever. I find it helps make other people, who are not as ocd as I am, more comfortable. Seriously.

I may try that. But in the real estate section and some other sections, people post about how perfectly fine spaces are disgusting and ugly, and it seems like people expect perfectly updated and clutter free homes. I guess you can’t please everyone.

[Anonymous]

I don't judge, but I can guarantee my two active toddlers will leave some sort of unsightly food stain on your white rug and bang their heads on your sharp-edged, glass coffee table if I don't watch them every second. So no, I won't judge you, but I will suffer through the visit and make excuses to host or meet elsewhere going forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't judge, but I can guarantee my two active toddlers will leave some sort of unsightly food stain on your white rug and bang their heads on your sharp-edged, glass coffee table if I don't watch them every second. So no, I won't judge you, but I will suffer through the visit and make excuses to host or meet elsewhere going forward.

P.S. my house is clean, largely thanks to our wonderful house cleaner and our nanny, but the toys have definitely taken over. And no, I don't believe you when you tell me you aren't judging me. I don't much care because I have a pretty thick skin, but I know you're judging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I little.

I will also make a few pictures crooked and move a Knick knack or two just for fun.

You are awesome!

I did this to someone at work on Friday. We all share office space but he clearly arranged all his personalized wireless gadgets making it almost impossible for me to work there. When I left I put his wireless mouse back upside down, left his keyboard slightly askew and put his ten key on the left side. Lol.

Would you think it awesome if a guest vacuumed a host’s house or took out the trash to be catty? I don’t know why it’s ok to be make fun of clean people but not ok to make fun of messy people.

+1

NP here. THIS is what I notice. "messy" people at work are just trying to look busy, they aren't fooling anyone.

I like a house that looks lived in - neat, not overly matchy-matchy, but also not sticky/dusty/gross, OP. Since you asked. I have allergies and can tell if you rarely dust or vacuum, that grosses me out. Houses that are overly custom decorated don't seem all that comfortable to me, either. Somewhere in the middle is nice, and so rare in this area, in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't judge, but I can guarantee my two active toddlers will leave some sort of unsightly food stain on your white rug and bang their heads on your sharp-edged, glass coffee table if I don't watch them every second. So no, I won't judge you, but I will suffer through the visit and make excuses to host or meet elsewhere going forward.

See, I don’t get the responses like this. Play dates may last a couple of hours. Kids can’t go two hours without eating some kind of messy food? Same question about the kids I see eating in shopping carts at Target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't judge, but I can guarantee my two active toddlers will leave some sort of unsightly food stain on your white rug and bang their heads on your sharp-edged, glass coffee table if I don't watch them every second. So no, I won't judge you, but I will suffer through the visit and make excuses to host or meet elsewhere going forward.

See, I don’t get the responses like this. Play dates may last a couple of hours. Kids can’t go two hours without eating some kind of messy food? Same question about the kids I see eating in shopping carts at Target.

Generally the ones I've been to, the hosts always put out munchies for the kids. I don't bring my own messy snacks or anything! The last playdate I went to, the host had cheddar bunnies and juice boxes. Cheddar bunny-orange handprints all over. Eldest just turned 3 and youngest is 16 months.

[Anonymous]

I have a biggish house. The formal.dining and living room.id.cordoned.off and set up as play area. Rest of the house is spotless, but I have cleaning ladies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't judge, but I can guarantee my two active toddlers will leave some sort of unsightly food stain on your white rug and bang their heads on your sharp-edged, glass coffee table if I don't watch them every second. So no, I won't judge you, but I will suffer through the visit and make excuses to host or meet elsewhere going forward.

P.S. my house is clean, largely thanks to our wonderful house cleaner and our nanny, but the toys have definitely taken over. And no, I don't believe you when you tell me you aren't judging me. I don't much care because I have a pretty thick skin, but I know you're judging.

Nanny and housekeeper. You don’t do child care or cleaning so it’s a bit different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve read here that people judge when they go over to a mom friend or preschool classmate’s house and see piles of laundry or dirty dishes piled up, but would you judge if you went over to someone’s house and it was too perfect? I have had people over and have had people on their kids like hawks and looking horrified at any crumb or drip of water. I think this may be because of my house - lots of glass furniture, white furniture, antiques, and it’s by no means a giant house or mansion but it generally looks very arranged and put together and clean. I have not seen people act this way at other people’s more casual houses. Would you feel comfortable coming with kids to a house like mine, or would you feel uncomfortable?

I actually don’t care if kids spill or smudge all the furniture or track mud into the hardwood floors, because I can just clean later. But I also worry that we picked furniture and furnishings that look too prissy or fussy.

Nobody cares about your “very arranged” house lol get a life