Do you judge “perfect” family homes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a large home and cleaners that make my house look tidy. I don’t think my guests feel uneasy. My kids are disasters themselves so they spill things all the time. If a kid spills something, I clean it. No big deal.

We recently met other people with equally well kept homes and they seem to host more.

Over the years, I have felt self conscious about not getting invited. I wondered if my house was too clean or whether my house was too big. I don’t care anymore.

I don't invite very many people over - we live in a small townhouse. Most of DD's friends live in McMansions/new builds. I worry that if they come over and see our clutter, they will judge us and won't encourage their child's friendship with DD because we are not of the same socioeconomic status as them.

This is OP. I’ve been to smaller homes that are messy and in a couple cases despite having a great time was not invited after they came to my house. I would love to be invited over!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sense a certain naivete, OP.

First, that decor is certainly quite intimidating for the average American family. Your guests are probably worried that if their kid cracks a glass top or spills on the white rug/couch, you'll be mad and perhaps ask them to pay for it. I suspect you've never actually had to clean certain kid messes off that kind of surface, otherwise you'd NEVER write that you're fine with it!

Are you aware of what rambunctious boys can do to a house? One of my 5 year old guests nearly cracked and toppled the upper balusters down into the stairwell, and himself along with them. A 10 year old swung a bat at my crystal chandelier, narrowly missing it; his mother had a conniption.

But I’d say this area isn’t full of the “average American family” types, at least not in many DCUM neighborhoods where you guys are proclaiming 700k as “shitshacks!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sense a certain naivete, OP.

First, that decor is certainly quite intimidating for the average American family. Your guests are probably worried that if their kid cracks a glass top or spills on the white rug/couch, you'll be mad and perhaps ask them to pay for it. I suspect you've never actually had to clean certain kid messes off that kind of surface, otherwise you'd NEVER write that you're fine with it!

Are you aware of what rambunctious boys can do to a house? One of my 5 year old guests nearly cracked and toppled the upper balusters down into the stairwell, and himself along with them. A 10 year old swung a bat at my crystal chandelier, narrowly missing it; his mother had a conniption.

This is OP. I am aware of how much of a pain glass is to clean. But we have this furniture and I’m not about to buy all new furniture at this point. The glass furniture is all thicker tempered glass and I’ve never had any cracks or anything despite having a toddler slam his metal or glass cups down.

For your other examples, yeah I guess my house couldn’t handle a ten year old swinging a baseball bat in the house, but I don’t think any kid should be left swinging a wooden bat around the house, they’d be sent outside to play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a large home and cleaners that make my house look tidy. I don’t think my guests feel uneasy. My kids are disasters themselves so they spill things all the time. If a kid spills something, I clean it. No big deal.

We recently met other people with equally well kept homes and they seem to host more.

Over the years, I have felt self conscious about not getting invited. I wondered if my house was too clean or whether my house was too big. I don’t care anymore.

I don't invite very many people over - we live in a small townhouse. Most of DD's friends live in McMansions/new builds. I worry that if they come over and see our clutter, they will judge us and won't encourage their child's friendship with DD because we are not of the same socioeconomic status as them.

This is OP. I’ve been to smaller homes that are messy and in a couple cases despite having a great time was not invited after they came to my house. I would love to be invited over!

Sorry op. That stinks. But from someone who has a messier house, I’d rarely invite you over. Your kids are welcome, but having seen how you maintain your house I’d feel like you were judging me.

[Anonymous]

I little.

I will also make a few pictures crooked and move a Knick knack or two just for fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I little.

I will also make a few pictures crooked and move a Knick knack or two just for fun.

You are awesome!

I did this to someone at work on Friday. We all share office space but he clearly arranged all his personalized wireless gadgets making it almost impossible for me to work there. When I left I put his wireless mouse back upside down, left his keyboard slightly askew and put his ten key on the left side. Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I little.

I will also make a few pictures crooked and move a Knick knack or two just for fun.

You are awesome!

I did this to someone at work on Friday. We all share office space but he clearly arranged all his personalized wireless gadgets making it almost impossible for me to work there. When I left I put his wireless mouse back upside down, left his keyboard slightly askew and put his ten key on the left side. Lol.

Would you think it awesome if a guest vacuumed a host’s house or took out the trash to be catty? I don’t know why it’s ok to be make fun of clean people but not ok to make fun of messy people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear people post this once a month. I will not judge you for having a perfect house, but I will watch my kid like a hawk and it won't be as fun for me or her.

I agree with the above

Yes, it can be exhausting to worry so much when visiting a house that isn't set up for kids, by which I mean "spilt milk" isn't just a quick mess to sponge up, it's an expensive disaster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear people post this once a month. I will not judge you for having a perfect house, but I will watch my kid like a hawk and it won't be as fun for me or her.

I agree with the above

Yes, it can be exhausting to worry so much when visiting a house that isn't set up for kids, by which I mean "spilt milk" isn't just a quick mess to sponge up, it's an expensive disaster.

This is Op. We only have milk in the kitchen/dining areas. If you spill, I’d grab a rag and the glass or hardwood would be fine. If you spill milk on my fabric couches or living room rugs, that’s more of a hassle, but wouldn’t that be true in anyone’s house, messy or clean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I little.

I will also make a few pictures crooked and move a Knick knack or two just for fun.

You are awesome!

I did this to someone at work on Friday. We all share office space but he clearly arranged all his personalized wireless gadgets making it almost impossible for me to work there. When I left I put his wireless mouse back upside down, left his keyboard slightly askew and put his ten key on the left side. Lol.

Would you think it awesome if a guest vacuumed a host’s house or took out the trash to be catty? I don’t know why it’s ok to be make fun of clean people but not ok to make fun of messy people.

It’s not his office. He’s lucky I put it back at all.

And yes we also talk about the offices that are complete disaster with mounds of paper everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I little.

I will also make a few pictures crooked and move a Knick knack or two just for fun.

You are awesome!

I did this to someone at work on Friday. We all share office space but he clearly arranged all his personalized wireless gadgets making it almost impossible for me to work there. When I left I put his wireless mouse back upside down, left his keyboard slightly askew and put his ten key on the left side. Lol.

Would you think it awesome if a guest vacuumed a host’s house or took out the trash to be catty? I don’t know why it’s ok to be make fun of clean people but not ok to make fun of messy people.

It’s not his office. He’s lucky I put it back at all.

And yes we also talk about the offices that are complete disaster with mounds of paper everywhere.

You said the PP is “awesome” for messing with someone else’s stuff is their house.

[Anonymous]

Follow up question

Apart from buying all new furniture, what can I do to make people feel more comfortable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Follow up question

Apart from buying all new furniture, what can I do to make people feel more comfortable?

I suspect that if I said something like "throw blankets on the couches, some obvious not-brand-new books or magazines on tables and coffee tables, fresh plants in pots with real soil," you'd say that it isn't your style. And it probably isn't. if your style is not cozy, then the environment won't be cozy.

And that's okay! But people not feeling cozy in an un-cozy space does not mean they are "judging" you -- it just means they don't really like it. (not as a place to relax and share warm conversations). That is ABSOLUTELY okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sense a certain naivete, OP.

First, that decor is certainly quite intimidating for the average American family. Your guests are probably worried that if their kid cracks a glass top or spills on the white rug/couch, you'll be mad and perhaps ask them to pay for it. I suspect you've never actually had to clean certain kid messes off that kind of surface, otherwise you'd NEVER write that you're fine with it!

Are you aware of what rambunctious boys can do to a house? One of my 5 year old guests nearly cracked and toppled the upper balusters down into the stairwell, and himself along with them. A 10 year old swung a bat at my crystal chandelier, narrowly missing it; his mother had a conniption.

I watch my young kid like a hawk around glass tables because I know a kid that dies that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sense a certain naivete, OP.

First, that decor is certainly quite intimidating for the average American family. Your guests are probably worried that if their kid cracks a glass top or spills on the white rug/couch, you'll be mad and perhaps ask them to pay for it. I suspect you've never actually had to clean certain kid messes off that kind of surface, otherwise you'd NEVER write that you're fine with it!

Are you aware of what rambunctious boys can do to a house? One of my 5 year old guests nearly cracked and toppled the upper balusters down into the stairwell, and himself along with them. A 10 year old swung a bat at my crystal chandelier, narrowly missing it; his mother had a conniption.

I watch my young kid like a hawk around glass tables because I know a kid that dies that way.

died