Folks who say their 3 year olds potty trained in a day

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if it’s chicken or egg, but it seems to be self-reinforcing that people with kids who didn’t train until (usually) 3+ are the ones who say things like “I don’t consider a kid potty trained unless he takes himself to a real toilet, manages his clothing with all buttons and snaps, wipes well and independently, washes hands according to CDC guidelines, never has a single accident, etc.”

Like... yeah, that’s not all going to happen 110% of the time until close to or over 3, so I see why you don’t bother before then. But then again, I think it’s also ex-post-facto justification for waiting. To me, as it was with another poster whose twins PT at 16 months, a kid is PT when they understand when they need to go and tell you/go over to a potty in advance of doing it, and then they pee or poop in an appropriate place, with fairly rare accidents (no more than once a week or so, and tapering off to nothing pretty quickly). By that measure, mine was also trained before 16 months.

They might need help with clothing or somewhat with wiping, but they have made the connection between feeling the urge to go and going in a potty/toilet, and they do it very, very consistently— to me, that’s pretty much the definition of potty trained. The rest is mostly motor skills and body size (my kid wasn’t able to sit on a toilet without an insert until at least 2.5).

EVERY kid is going to need SOME help before 2 or 3, so pick your poison— helping them pull down their pants or changing their poopy diaper. *shrug*

[Anonymous]

OP I think the bottom line is that is going to be pretty easy at or around 3 (like within a month or two on either end of the third birthday), but it might take longer than 1 day. Maybe 1. Maybe 2. Maybe a week. But this strategy that you are looking for her - (child just one day decides they are ready) is not guaranteed to happen for you. You may have a 4 yo in diapers, and no one wants that. Just stop being lazy and about this and hoping that the day will come that she trains herself, and get on with it! Trust your child - they can do it!

[Anonymous]

No, your 3 year old doesn't have to be on board. You, as the parent, are in charge of deciding that it's time to potty train. Yes, this means that there may be accidents. But if you wait until the child decide they want to potty train, you may be waiting until close to or after 4 ....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s chicken or egg, but it seems to be self-reinforcing that people with kids who didn’t train until (usually) 3+ are the ones who say things like “I don’t consider a kid potty trained unless he takes himself to a real toilet, manages his clothing with all buttons and snaps, wipes well and independently, washes hands according to CDC guidelines, never has a single accident, etc.”

Like... yeah, that’s not all going to happen 110% of the time until close to or over 3, so I see why you don’t bother before then. But then again, I think it’s also ex-post-facto justification for waiting. To me, as it was with another poster whose twins PT at 16 months, a kid is PT when they understand when they need to go and tell you/go over to a potty in advance of doing it, and then they pee or poop in an appropriate place, with fairly rare accidents (no more than once a week or so, and tapering off to nothing pretty quickly). By that measure, mine was also trained before 16 months.

They might need help with clothing or somewhat with wiping, but they have made the connection between feeling the urge to go and going in a potty/toilet, and they do it very, very consistently— to me, that’s pretty much the definition of potty trained. The rest is mostly motor skills and body size (my kid wasn’t able to sit on a toilet without an insert until at least 2.5).

EVERY kid is going to need SOME help before 2 or 3, so pick your poison— helping them pull down their pants or changing their poopy diaper. *shrug*

Exactly so why is picking one kind of help "lazy" and the other isn't.

Parenting is about helping your kid. You can spend months wiping their butt and running to the toilet, or changing diapers, but kids aren't ready to put it together until they're 3, and if you decide that not pushing is what works for your family, you'll likely find that things come together really fast at 3. Waiting until then is neither lazy nor morally superior. It's just one of the options.

Having said that, OP can't wait until her kid's 3 to introduce the idea, because she already has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s chicken or egg, but it seems to be self-reinforcing that people with kids who didn’t train until (usually) 3+ are the ones who say things like “I don’t consider a kid potty trained unless he takes himself to a real toilet, manages his clothing with all buttons and snaps, wipes well and independently, washes hands according to CDC guidelines, never has a single accident, etc.”

Like... yeah, that’s not all going to happen 110% of the time until close to or over 3, so I see why you don’t bother before then. But then again, I think it’s also ex-post-facto justification for waiting. To me, as it was with another poster whose twins PT at 16 months, a kid is PT when they understand when they need to go and tell you/go over to a potty in advance of doing it, and then they pee or poop in an appropriate place, with fairly rare accidents (no more than once a week or so, and tapering off to nothing pretty quickly). By that measure, mine was also trained before 16 months.

They might need help with clothing or somewhat with wiping, but they have made the connection between feeling the urge to go and going in a potty/toilet, and they do it very, very consistently— to me, that’s pretty much the definition of potty trained. The rest is mostly motor skills and body size (my kid wasn’t able to sit on a toilet without an insert until at least 2.5).

EVERY kid is going to need SOME help before 2 or 3, so pick your poison— helping them pull down their pants or changing their poopy diaper. *shrug*

Exactly so why is picking one kind of help "lazy" and the other isn't.

Parenting is about helping your kid. You can spend months wiping their butt and running to the toilet, or changing diapers, but kids aren't ready to put it together until they're 3, and if you decide that not pushing is what works for your family, you'll likely find that things come together really fast at 3. Waiting until then is neither lazy nor morally superior. It's just one of the options.

Having said that, OP can't wait until her kid's 3 to introduce the idea, because she already has.

Most kids are ready for potty training long before 3! If your kid has autism or another developmental delay, 3 sounds about right, but for a typically developping child, 3 years old is late. Most kids are ready around 2.5 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s chicken or egg, but it seems to be self-reinforcing that people with kids who didn’t train until (usually) 3+ are the ones who say things like “I don’t consider a kid potty trained unless he takes himself to a real toilet, manages his clothing with all buttons and snaps, wipes well and independently, washes hands according to CDC guidelines, never has a single accident, etc.”

Like... yeah, that’s not all going to happen 110% of the time until close to or over 3, so I see why you don’t bother before then. But then again, I think it’s also ex-post-facto justification for waiting. To me, as it was with another poster whose twins PT at 16 months, a kid is PT when they understand when they need to go and tell you/go over to a potty in advance of doing it, and then they pee or poop in an appropriate place, with fairly rare accidents (no more than once a week or so, and tapering off to nothing pretty quickly). By that measure, mine was also trained before 16 months.

They might need help with clothing or somewhat with wiping, but they have made the connection between feeling the urge to go and going in a potty/toilet, and they do it very, very consistently— to me, that’s pretty much the definition of potty trained. The rest is mostly motor skills and body size (my kid wasn’t able to sit on a toilet without an insert until at least 2.5).

EVERY kid is going to need SOME help before 2 or 3, so pick your poison— helping them pull down their pants or changing their poopy diaper. *shrug*

Exactly so why is picking one kind of help "lazy" and the other isn't.

Parenting is about helping your kid. You can spend months wiping their butt and running to the toilet, or changing diapers, but kids aren't ready to put it together until they're 3, and if you decide that not pushing is what works for your family, you'll likely find that things come together really fast at 3. Waiting until then is neither lazy nor morally superior. It's just one of the options.

Having said that, OP can't wait until her kid's 3 to introduce the idea, because she already has.

OP is being lazy because she is literally waiting for her kid to say "I don't want diapers anymore". That's different than helping your kid along - that is just not wanting to deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s chicken or egg, but it seems to be self-reinforcing that people with kids who didn’t train until (usually) 3+ are the ones who say things like “I don’t consider a kid potty trained unless he takes himself to a real toilet, manages his clothing with all buttons and snaps, wipes well and independently, washes hands according to CDC guidelines, never has a single accident, etc.”

Like... yeah, that’s not all going to happen 110% of the time until close to or over 3, so I see why you don’t bother before then. But then again, I think it’s also ex-post-facto justification for waiting. To me, as it was with another poster whose twins PT at 16 months, a kid is PT when they understand when they need to go and tell you/go over to a potty in advance of doing it, and then they pee or poop in an appropriate place, with fairly rare accidents (no more than once a week or so, and tapering off to nothing pretty quickly). By that measure, mine was also trained before 16 months.

They might need help with clothing or somewhat with wiping, but they have made the connection between feeling the urge to go and going in a potty/toilet, and they do it very, very consistently— to me, that’s pretty much the definition of potty trained. The rest is mostly motor skills and body size (my kid wasn’t able to sit on a toilet without an insert until at least 2.5).

EVERY kid is going to need SOME help before 2 or 3, so pick your poison— helping them pull down their pants or changing their poopy diaper. *shrug*

Exactly so why is picking one kind of help "lazy" and the other isn't.

Parenting is about helping your kid. You can spend months wiping their butt and running to the toilet, or changing diapers, but kids aren't ready to put it together until they're 3, and if you decide that not pushing is what works for your family, you'll likely find that things come together really fast at 3. Waiting until then is neither lazy nor morally superior. It's just one of the options.

Having said that, OP can't wait until her kid's 3 to introduce the idea, because she already has.

OP is being lazy because she is literally waiting for her kid to say "I don't want diapers anymore". That's different than helping your kid along - that is just not wanting to deal.

This is OP. And this is the first time I’ve responded to this thread, so the priors weren’t me. I always think it’s interesting when people who train earlier think early training holds moral significance and people who train later are lazy or dirty. I could argue the other way (what? Are you too lazy to keep changing diapers? Are you so dirty that you’re ok with your two year old touching things in public rest rooms and so dirty that you’re ok with lots of pee and poop accidents all over your house?). I don’t believe either of those things. I’m just saying that you could argue either way. I think it’s a choice completely devoid of moral implications either way. You just do what suits your child and is most convenient for your family. It’s so interesting to me that the early trainers think they have made a morally superior choice.

Anyway, this was very helpful. Thank you alll!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s chicken or egg, but it seems to be self-reinforcing that people with kids who didn’t train until (usually) 3+ are the ones who say things like “I don’t consider a kid potty trained unless he takes himself to a real toilet, manages his clothing with all buttons and snaps, wipes well and independently, washes hands according to CDC guidelines, never has a single accident, etc.”

Like... yeah, that’s not all going to happen 110% of the time until close to or over 3, so I see why you don’t bother before then. But then again, I think it’s also ex-post-facto justification for waiting. To me, as it was with another poster whose twins PT at 16 months, a kid is PT when they understand when they need to go and tell you/go over to a potty in advance of doing it, and then they pee or poop in an appropriate place, with fairly rare accidents (no more than once a week or so, and tapering off to nothing pretty quickly). By that measure, mine was also trained before 16 months.

They might need help with clothing or somewhat with wiping, but they have made the connection between feeling the urge to go and going in a potty/toilet, and they do it very, very consistently— to me, that’s pretty much the definition of potty trained. The rest is mostly motor skills and body size (my kid wasn’t able to sit on a toilet without an insert until at least 2.5).

EVERY kid is going to need SOME help before 2 or 3, so pick your poison— helping them pull down their pants or changing their poopy diaper. *shrug*

Exactly so why is picking one kind of help "lazy" and the other isn't.

Parenting is about helping your kid. You can spend months wiping their butt and running to the toilet, or changing diapers, but kids aren't ready to put it together until they're 3, and if you decide that not pushing is what works for your family, you'll likely find that things come together really fast at 3. Waiting until then is neither lazy nor morally superior. It's just one of the options.

Having said that, OP can't wait until her kid's 3 to introduce the idea, because she already has.

OP is being lazy because she is literally waiting for her kid to say "I don't want diapers anymore". That's different than helping your kid along - that is just not wanting to deal.

This is OP. And this is the first time I’ve responded to this thread, so the priors weren’t me. I always think it’s interesting when people who train earlier think early training holds moral significance and people who train later are lazy or dirty. I could argue the other way (what? Are you too lazy to keep changing diapers? Are you so dirty that you’re ok with your two year old touching things in public rest rooms and so dirty that you’re ok with lots of pee and poop accidents all over your house?). I don’t believe either of those things. I’m just saying that you could argue either way. I think it’s a choice completely devoid of moral implications either way. You just do what suits your child and is most convenient for your family. It’s so interesting to me that the early trainers think they have made a morally superior choice.

Anyway, this was very helpful. Thank you alll!

Lol no. No. You want your kid to magically say “no more diapers”. That’s lazy. And that’s different than waiting until closer to three so it goes quicker.

[Anonymous]

I have one kid that took years to stop having accidents. He was impossible to train. The other trained himself in a day. It’s really up to them to decide when they’re ready- there’s not much you can do to force the issue.

[Anonymous]

I've trained three children from about two and a half through two and three quarters via Azrin's "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day". This an older method (I was, myself, trained via it during the 1970s), but it is extremely effective, and as it was originally designed for the intellectually disabled, everything is laid out in a very scripted and organized fashion.

The short version is that you need to kick out everyone in the house so you and your kid can focus. Then start with a model: you work together with your child to train a doll to go to the potty. The child then learns to go to the potty, following the same method. Throughout you stuff the kid silly with soda pop and salty snacks to encourage peeing. Success brings praise ("I'm so proud that you are using the potty! Grandma will be amazed that you are using the potty! Spiderman is thrilled that you are peed in the potty!") and more popsicles. Failure brings the reverse ("I'm disappointed that you didn't pee in the potty. The fire truck driver will be sad that your underwear is wet") and a bunch of immediate practicing of all the steps of toileting.

It's super intensive -- the seven to eight hours of being over the top enthusiastic about the toilet is easily the hardest job I've ever had to do, but there were only a few accidents the next day, and hardly any the next week.

[Anonymous]

In your case, I'd be tempted to try a combination of

a. Make your daughter clean up any mess.

b. Follow Azrin's practice recommendations. If your daughter has an accident, then make her practice going to he potty ten or so times in a row, choosing different scenarios and from different places in the house ("You're playing with legos in the kitchen when all of a sudden you need to go to the potty! Quick! Run to the bathroom, take your pants off, sit on the potty..." "Now you are walking down the hallway when all of a sudden you need to pee! Quick! Run to the bathroom & etc."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s chicken or egg, but it seems to be self-reinforcing that people with kids who didn’t train until (usually) 3+ are the ones who say things like “I don’t consider a kid potty trained unless he takes himself to a real toilet, manages his clothing with all buttons and snaps, wipes well and independently, washes hands according to CDC guidelines, never has a single accident, etc.”

Like... yeah, that’s not all going to happen 110% of the time until close to or over 3, so I see why you don’t bother before then. But then again, I think it’s also ex-post-facto justification for waiting. To me, as it was with another poster whose twins PT at 16 months, a kid is PT when they understand when they need to go and tell you/go over to a potty in advance of doing it, and then they pee or poop in an appropriate place, with fairly rare accidents (no more than once a week or so, and tapering off to nothing pretty quickly). By that measure, mine was also trained before 16 months.

They might need help with clothing or somewhat with wiping, but they have made the connection between feeling the urge to go and going in a potty/toilet, and they do it very, very consistently— to me, that’s pretty much the definition of potty trained. The rest is mostly motor skills and body size (my kid wasn’t able to sit on a toilet without an insert until at least 2.5).

EVERY kid is going to need SOME help before 2 or 3, so pick your poison— helping them pull down their pants or changing their poopy diaper. *shrug*

Exactly so why is picking one kind of help "lazy" and the other isn't.

Parenting is about helping your kid. You can spend months wiping their butt and running to the toilet, or changing diapers, but kids aren't ready to put it together until they're 3, and if you decide that not pushing is what works for your family, you'll likely find that things come together really fast at 3. Waiting until then is neither lazy nor morally superior. It's just one of the options.

Having said that, OP can't wait until her kid's 3 to introduce the idea, because she already has.

OP is being lazy because she is literally waiting for her kid to say "I don't want diapers anymore". That's different than helping your kid along - that is just not wanting to deal.

This is OP. And this is the first time I’ve responded to this thread, so the priors weren’t me. I always think it’s interesting when people who train earlier think early training holds moral significance and people who train later are lazy or dirty. I could argue the other way (what? Are you too lazy to keep changing diapers? Are you so dirty that you’re ok with your two year old touching things in public rest rooms and so dirty that you’re ok with lots of pee and poop accidents all over your house?). I don’t believe either of those things. I’m just saying that you could argue either way. I think it’s a choice completely devoid of moral implications either way. You just do what suits your child and is most convenient for your family. It’s so interesting to me that the early trainers think they have made a morally superior choice.

Anyway, this was very helpful. Thank you alll!

No way you can argue both ways. A mobile child who is capable of using the restroom but is peeing and pooping in his pants is disgusting. It’s just as gross as if YOU wore diapers on purpose instead of using the restroom.

Not potty training your kid when they are ready is failing as a parent. The same parents who don’t potty train early typically also have a hard time in other aspects of parenting. Their kids are in charge of everything and they are so worried about hurting their kid’s feelings that they refuse to parent.

A three year old in diapers is not what best suits your child. No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s chicken or egg, but it seems to be self-reinforcing that people with kids who didn’t train until (usually) 3+ are the ones who say things like “I don’t consider a kid potty trained unless he takes himself to a real toilet, manages his clothing with all buttons and snaps, wipes well and independently, washes hands according to CDC guidelines, never has a single accident, etc.”

Like... yeah, that’s not all going to happen 110% of the time until close to or over 3, so I see why you don’t bother before then. But then again, I think it’s also ex-post-facto justification for waiting. To me, as it was with another poster whose twins PT at 16 months, a kid is PT when they understand when they need to go and tell you/go over to a potty in advance of doing it, and then they pee or poop in an appropriate place, with fairly rare accidents (no more than once a week or so, and tapering off to nothing pretty quickly). By that measure, mine was also trained before 16 months.

They might need help with clothing or somewhat with wiping, but they have made the connection between feeling the urge to go and going in a potty/toilet, and they do it very, very consistently— to me, that’s pretty much the definition of potty trained. The rest is mostly motor skills and body size (my kid wasn’t able to sit on a toilet without an insert until at least 2.5).

EVERY kid is going to need SOME help before 2 or 3, so pick your poison— helping them pull down their pants or changing their poopy diaper. *shrug*

Exactly so why is picking one kind of help "lazy" and the other isn't.

Parenting is about helping your kid. You can spend months wiping their butt and running to the toilet, or changing diapers, but kids aren't ready to put it together until they're 3, and if you decide that not pushing is what works for your family, you'll likely find that things come together really fast at 3. Waiting until then is neither lazy nor morally superior. It's just one of the options.

Having said that, OP can't wait until her kid's 3 to introduce the idea, because she already has.

OP is being lazy because she is literally waiting for her kid to say "I don't want diapers anymore". That's different than helping your kid along - that is just not wanting to deal.

This is OP. And this is the first time I’ve responded to this thread, so the priors weren’t me. I always think it’s interesting when people who train earlier think early training holds moral significance and people who train later are lazy or dirty. I could argue the other way (what? Are you too lazy to keep changing diapers? Are you so dirty that you’re ok with your two year old touching things in public rest rooms and so dirty that you’re ok with lots of pee and poop accidents all over your house?). I don’t believe either of those things. I’m just saying that you could argue either way. I think it’s a choice completely devoid of moral implications either way. You just do what suits your child and is most convenient for your family. It’s so interesting to me that the early trainers think they have made a morally superior choice.

Anyway, this was very helpful. Thank you alll!

Lol no. No. You want your kid to magically say “no more diapers”. That’s lazy. And that’s different than waiting until closer to three so it goes quicker.

It’s crazy. Do you also hold off on sending your kid to preschool until they announce they are ready to go to school? Do you not take your kid to their annual checkup unless they announce they want to go? What is wrong with you people?

[Anonymous]

Keeping your kid in diapers until 3-4 is just another thing American women are doing to make their life miserable and harder than it should be. It’s part of the mommy martyr condition.

[Anonymous]

Some kids do decide to stop using diapers and potty train themselves. I've noticed these kids seem to have older siblings fwiw so maybe that has something to do with it.

Other kids literally will wear diapers as long as they are given an option. I know one kid who turns 4 next month. His parents weakly attempted to train around 2.5 and gave up after 1 day due to "too many accidents". After that, his parents hoped and prayed the kid would magically decide one day to potty train himself (they also seem to be rather lax in other aspects of parenting from what I've seen). He is sent to daycare in underwear daily and still has multiple pee and poop accidents a day, resulting in being in pullups by pickup. Kid literally DNAF.

Also perhaps my kid was advanced or something but I disagree that every single child needs regular assistance until they are 3. I do assist with wiping poop, more for my own anxiety about cleanliness than his ability, but he's been independently going pee since age 2y4m, (meaning he self initiated, manuevered pants, flushed and washed). Heck he was completely out of diapers entirely by 2y9m, night trained himself. We day trained right at 2.