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Please tell me more. My DD was more or less potty trained for about a month when she was 2.25. She was still having at least one pee accident per day, but she clearly understood the concept. She didn’t care that much and wasn’t ever proud of herself and only went along begrudgingly, though. And then one day she decided to stop humoring us, and just quit peeing and pooping on the potty. Daycare gave it about 2 days before they put her back in diapers. I think I lasted maybe 3 days. And viola — she was un-potty trained.
She just turned 3. She is not afraid of the potty. She goes at school. She occasionally asks to go at home. But she doesn’t mind sitting in a wet or dirty diaper at all. Doesn’t bother her. I’m not excited about potty training again. I know there is much debate about this, but I do think she needs to be at least somewhat on board or it won’t happen. I have seen a number of posts where folks say there 3 year olds suddenly decided they were ready and then trained in a day. I am hoping for that miracle. What do I do to help that miracle along? How did that come about for you? |
| * their three year olds |
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We screwed up with our oldest too. DS was the only one in his class still in diapers. He was 3.5. He didn’t care.
We bought him a Hot Wheels garage - something he really wanted - and left it in the manufactures box with the picture on it and just set it in his room. We told him we would open it and set it up after he was potty trained and in underwear. He studied that box for weeks! Finally he decided he wanted it and we threw out the diapers together. He didn’t have a poop-phobia (thank God) and used the potty for a week. A couple pee and poop accidents over the week but generally just did it. That was that. Not one day by any means but the decision had to be his. Trained the younger son at 21 months. So much easier. |
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I have two friends, each with three kids, who potty trained all three kids in 1-2 days when they turned 3. But their MO was to wait until the 3rd birthday before making any potty training attempts at all. So there was no baggage associated with the potty at the time.
One friend used treats in exchange for potty trips. You go in the potty, you get an M&M or whatever. The other friend gave candy for durations of staying dry. They didn't wait for the kid to decide the kid was ready, but believed it would be easier and faster to potty train an older, more developed child, and chose the 3rd birthday to initiate for that reason. Like you, I had a kid who didn't mind being dirty at all, and spent from 26-33 months in the process of potty training, wearing underpants with no diapers ever and having anywhere from 0 to 5 accidents per day. Even though we finished before age 3, it was a hellacious process that I don't recommend, but also don't know how to avoid. Would it have been better if we waited until 3 to start? Maybe, but maybe it would have been worse. She basically flipped a switch and just started initiating potty trips consistently all of a sudden, and I have no idea what did it. I gleaned no useful insight, sorry! My next kid hated being dirty and potty trained shortly after turning two in one or two days. Like night and day. |
| I trained in basically a couple days but I waited until 3 |
| I trained DS two months before he turned three. I was already in the habit of sticking him on the toilet before bath time and one day he surprised me by using it correctly. I sprinted downstairs and grabbed a gummy bear to reinforce that he had done something awesome. We did a three day session right then and we were done by the weekend. He had a lot of accidents in day care that week but they were very accommodating and told me that was normal. After a week he was fine at school too. |
| So no one potty trained a three-year-old in one day? |
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My three year old was pretty much trained in a day. He was around other kids who were training, so he'd seen other kids use the potty whatever, but he'd never sat on one. One day, we were at a friend's house and he saw a bike that he really liked and asked if he had one. I told him I didn't have the money, but that after I stopped paying for diapers I'd be able to afford it. He thought about it for a few days and asked me if he could have a bike if he wore underwear and I said yes, and so he said "OK". So we spent a couple days naked. The first time he started to pee without pants, I picked him up and turned him towards the potty and was like "pee like this". And it clicked. He had a few accidents but made it most of the time. By day 3 he was back in underwear and trained and we put away the little potty and he just used the toilet, and went to the store and bought a bike.
My younger kid was a little younger when he was trained, because he wanted to be like big brother, and took a more support and had more accidents. That's in line with their personalities. My oldest generally waits until he's ready to do things well before he's brave enough to try. My younger kid jumps into situations that are too much for him and struggles a while as he figures it out. They both usually end up mastering things at about the same age. Which I'm telling you so you'll know that I'm not guaranteeing my method will work for your kid. |
Why does it have to be ONE day? It might take 2-3 and then a few days to adjust when you go to daycare or outings. |
Well, that was the question. Probably based on the scores of posters against early potty training who’ve sworn that it only took one day with an older child. I know I’ve read it probably 30 times in the last year. |
| You say she doesn’t mind sitting in a wet or dirty diaper. What about wet or dirty underpants? I’d put her in just pants (commando) at home and then move to underpants. |
I'm the PP whose kid wanted the bike. I've probably posted something about one day, in response to people who want to know how many days it took to get to the point where their kid was using the toilet, or something, but I wouldn't have considered my kid toilet trained at one day. To me a toilet trained kid is one who uses a real toilet, who can manage their own clothing, and wipes themselves, and tells you when they need to go. If you're a change of clothing in your bag, and abandoning your groceries in line for a mad dash to the bathroom, then you're in process. That point took us a couple weeks. But I read about families who start early who literally spent months doling out M and M rewards, or sticking close to home because their kid can only use a potty and not a toilet, etc . . . That just wasn't going to work for my family. |
| My dd1 also had no issue with wet/soiled diaper/underwear and was a pain to potty train because of that. At our pediatricians recommendation, we stopped all potty training just after she turned 3 and put her all the way back to diapers. We couldn’t even mention the word potty around her. If she mentioned it or asked to go, we would put her on and praise her but otherwise we did nothing for months. At 3 years 4 months, we tried again. I took a week off to do it. It was winter so she was bundled up in sweaters but was otherwise completely bottomless when awake. It took longer than a day but less than a week before she had everything figured out. |
| We practiced using the toilet (not potty), for about a year. No pressure to perform, it was there if she wanted it. She could also use a pull up when we left house if she choose. Child wore pull-ups at school and nothing at home most days. One day she said she was done with pull ups. And she was. We still prompt bathroom breaks while in public but more often she cues us. |
Well, that’s pretty much to opposite of “trained in one day”. |