How to support friend whose DH ran off with a 20-something

[Anonymous]

Op here, I meant total not rural

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I disagree with this guy’s narrative. All of my friends who have confided in me that they have infrequent sex Roth their wives suffer in silence. The guys I know that cheated typically have really kind wives and the men never complained of lack of sex.

People who cheat are broken. Men usually don’t cheat in sexless marriages from my observation. I’m sure some do, but not to the extent this guy states.

People in sexless marriages are broken, too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Still, IRL tough to find a twenty-something who is a hottie willing to go with an older guy unless he’s a really big deal.

There’s always a hottie with unresolved Daddy issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just found out today from her and pretty shocked. Didn't detect any problems in the marriage and she states there weren't any.
Kids are in college. She's self-employed and makes a tiny fraction of what he makes.
We're not that close but she's a really sweet person and I'm wondering what would be helpful if you've BTDT.

You really can't help a woman who is that clueless, or in such deep denial about the problems in her marriage. The best you both can do is to blame it all on the bad man who traded her in for a younger model. She is a blameless saint and he is 100% evil. She was a perfect wife in every way right up until the say he dropped that bomb on her. Keep it to those lines that are so familiar to women and she will be OK. Don't try to force her to face reality. She is too gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

OMG, this also happened to coworker a few months back, except for the fact that their children are 11 and 16.
Both are in their mid 40’s. He’s an attorney who decided to leave the family for the barely 20 year old secretary he met less than a year ago.
According to the wife she saw no signs of trouble as he always worked late. It was a rural shock to her and the kids.

What are the chances that anyone could be that clueless? What are the chances that he never expressed any issues with their marriage and then, one day, just up and left her for someone else? Sorry but it just doesn't happen that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Please go somewhere and get laid because you keep replaying this same scenario on every post. It's tired.

Sorry to inform you but there are lots of different posters just like this. Why? Because it really IS a common scenario, and quite likely explains the OP.
You being tired of hearing this means nothing. I’m tired of hearing about beltway traffic. And yet, there it is again: beltway traffic.

Yep, it is so common. If we met the subject of OP's husband in a bar, he would probably tell us the same story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty good chance he will be back in 4-6 months.

Haha, not likely. Once a man has tasted a younger woman and knows he can attract them, he is gone for good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Still, IRL tough to find a twenty-something who is a hottie willing to go with an older guy unless he’s a really big deal.

And I can tell you have no real world experience with this, as a man. It's just something you want to believe is true. Because I can tell you, from experience, it's not that hard to find at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

+10000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Still, IRL tough to find a twenty-something who is a hottie willing to go with an older guy unless he’s a really big deal.

And I can tell you have no real world experience with this, as a man. It's just something you want to believe is true. Because I can tell you, from experience, it's not that hard to find at all.

I’m a pretty fit 52 divorced man. The best I’ve done is 39. Lasted a good while too. Until it was clear we weren’t a good match.

I wouldn’t even know how to find a woman in her 20s. Do you how out at like AU law school? Creepy.

Women in their 30s I can see. Especially if they are separated and hungry for love and connection. It can be a beautiful thing. And if you’re a young 50s man you could be better than their other options.

But I still don’t see it with women in their 20s. I lowered my Bumble search to 20s to take a peek. No thanks. They need to have a little life thrown at them. They also seem so stupid and like fat guys with beards who wear sandals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Still, IRL tough to find a twenty-something who is a hottie willing to go with an older guy unless he’s a really big deal.

And I can tell you have no real world experience with this, as a man. It's just something you want to believe is true. Because I can tell you, from experience, it's not that hard to find at all.

Am I the only person on this board who remembers being a 20 something woman with a lot of friends?! Literally ANY friend of mine who would even consider dating a 40 something was a mess. I had friends who dated celebs, slept with married men, etc. And all of them, bless them, were a big dramatic train wreck. One of my (former) friends lobbied hard to send her boyfriend’s kids to boarding school. She was partying on the weekends (as we all were) but then would call him crying to pick her up from bars, make out with other guys, etc. The kids did end up going to boarding school, but I think it was in part to get away from my friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Please go somewhere and get laid because you keep replaying this same scenario on every post. It's tired.

Sorry to inform you but there are lots of different posters just like this. Why? Because it really IS a common scenario, and quite likely explains the OP.
You being tired of hearing this means nothing. I’m tired of hearing about beltway traffic. And yet, there it is again: beltway traffic.

Sorry to inform you but "it's tired" means it's been run in the ground and your point is moot. Totally different from "I'm tired," but okay.

No, it is not tired, or run into the ground, or moot. Rather, it’s the #1 most common reason for a married man cheating. So don’t be alarmed when you see this on EVERY cheating husband thread. Because it belongs here as a very likely explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Still, IRL tough to find a twenty-something who is a hottie willing to go with an older guy unless he’s a really big deal.

Well, if he was even making decent money, plenty of millennials need money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Still, IRL tough to find a twenty-something who is a hottie willing to go with an older guy unless he’s a really big deal.

And I can tell you have no real world experience with this, as a man. It's just something you want to believe is true. Because I can tell you, from experience, it's not that hard to find at all.

I’m a pretty fit 52 divorced man. The best I’ve done is 39. Lasted a good while too. Until it was clear we weren’t a good match.

I wouldn’t even know how to find a woman in her 20s. Do you how out at like AU law school? Creepy.

Women in their 30s I can see. Especially if they are separated and hungry for love and connection. It can be a beautiful thing. And if you’re a young 50s man you could be better than their other options.

But I still don’t see it with women in their 20s. I lowered my Bumble search to 20s to take a peek. No thanks. They need to have a little life thrown at them. They also seem so stupid and like fat guys with beards who wear sandals.

You haven't lowered you standards enough pp. Go to any small or medium sized town, hang out in a bar and flash some money around, and you will have a twenty something before you know it. You probably don't want her, and she will be full of drama and headache, but you will have her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Please go somewhere and get laid because you keep replaying this same scenario on every post. It's tired.

Sorry to inform you but there are lots of different posters just like this. Why? Because it really IS a common scenario, and quite likely explains the OP.
You being tired of hearing this means nothing. I’m tired of hearing about beltway traffic. And yet, there it is again: beltway traffic.

Sorry to inform you but "it's tired" means it's been run in the ground and your point is moot. Totally different from "I'm tired," but okay.

No, it is not tired, or run into the ground, or moot. Rather, it’s the #1 most common reason for a married man cheating. So don’t be alarmed when you see this on EVERY cheating husband thread. Because it belongs here as a very likely explanation.

Not true. There’s way more stories about husbands cheating on good wives with decent sex lives.