How to support friend whose DH ran off with a 20-something

[Anonymous]

Let her know that you're always there to listen if she needs to talk, but that you will follow her lead. Sometimes people don't want to be asked how they are holding up or feeling all of the time. Invite her out or over to play cards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Please go somewhere and get laid because you keep replaying this same scenario on every post. It's tired.

Sorry to inform you but there are lots of different posters just like this. Why? Because it really IS a common scenario, and quite likely explains the OP.
You being tired of hearing this means nothing. I’m tired of hearing about beltway traffic. And yet, there it is again: beltway traffic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Advice...

1. Lawyer
2. Therapist
3. Therapist for kids
4. Do the 180, don’t take his calls.. period.


Go on a girls weekend and treat her.

Such good, practical advice. Listen to this advice. Also ask her to read Chump Lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Please go somewhere and get laid because you keep replaying this same scenario on every post. It's tired.

Unfortunately, no-one wants to touch him, so we have to suffer the consequences. Anyone out there who’s willing to help this guy out?

I mean I understand that this is for the sake of humanity but it’s still asking a lot of any woman. Can you imagine anyone wanting to sleep with him?

I guess we’ll just have to suffer more of his posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Still, IRL tough to find a twenty-something who is a hottie willing to go with an older guy unless he’s a really big deal.

Who said she was hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Please go somewhere and get laid because you keep replaying this same scenario on every post. It's tired.

Unfortunately, no-one wants to touch him, so we have to suffer the consequences. Anyone out there who’s willing to help this guy out?

I mean I understand that this is for the sake of humanity but it’s still asking a lot of any woman. Can you imagine anyone wanting to sleep with him?

I guess we’ll just have to suffer more of his posts.

As a man, I disagree with this guy’s narrative. All of my friends who have confided in me that they have infrequent sex Roth their wives suffer in silence. The guys I know that cheated typically have really kind wives and the men never complained of lack of sex.

People who cheat are broken. Men usually don’t cheat in sexless marriages from my observation. I’m sure some do, but not to the extent this guy states.

[Anonymous]

Suggest going for a walk while the weather is so nice.
Bring her to a fun class at the gym, if that's something you do.
A friend is going through something similar and she says that exer using has really helped her cope. Otherwise, she said she would eat and drink too much and end up feeling worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just found out today from her and pretty shocked. Didn't detect any problems in the marriage and she states there weren't any.
Kids are in college. She's self-employed and makes a tiny fraction of what he makes.
We're not that close but she's a really sweet person and I'm wondering what would be helpful if you've BTDT.

So she does MLM? She will need to get a real job now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Please go somewhere and get laid because you keep replaying this same scenario on every post. It's tired.

But it is also common enough that it’s a cliche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Please go somewhere and get laid because you keep replaying this same scenario on every post. It's tired.

But PP is probably right in this case

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just found out today from her and pretty shocked. Didn't detect any problems in the marriage and she states there weren't any.
Kids are in college. She's self-employed and makes a tiny fraction of what he makes.
We're not that close but she's a really sweet person and I'm wondering what would be helpful if you've BTDT.

So she does MLM? She will need to get a real job now.

What's MLM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Please go somewhere and get laid because you keep replaying this same scenario on every post. It's tired.

Sorry to inform you but there are lots of different posters just like this. Why? Because it really IS a common scenario, and quite likely explains the OP.
You being tired of hearing this means nothing. I’m tired of hearing about beltway traffic. And yet, there it is again: beltway traffic.

Sorry to inform you but "it's tired" means it's been run in the ground and your point is moot. Totally different from "I'm tired," but okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Please go somewhere and get laid because you keep replaying this same scenario on every post. It's tired.

Unfortunately, no-one wants to touch him, so we have to suffer the consequences. Anyone out there who’s willing to help this guy out?

I mean I understand that this is for the sake of humanity but it’s still asking a lot of any woman. Can you imagine anyone wanting to sleep with him?

I guess we’ll just have to suffer more of his posts.

As a man, I disagree with this guy’s narrative. All of my friends who have confided in me that they have infrequent sex Roth their wives suffer in silence. The guys I know that cheated typically have really kind wives and the men never complained of lack of sex.

People who cheat are broken. Men usually don’t cheat in sexless marriages from my observation. I’m sure some do, but not to the extent this guy states.

Thank you! Cheaters cheat because that's what they want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

Please go somewhere and get laid because you keep replaying this same scenario on every post. It's tired.

Unfortunately, no-one wants to touch him, so we have to suffer the consequences. Anyone out there who’s willing to help this guy out?

I mean I understand that this is for the sake of humanity but it’s still asking a lot of any woman. Can you imagine anyone wanting to sleep with him?

I guess we’ll just have to suffer more of his posts.

As a man, I disagree with this guy’s narrative. All of my friends who have confided in me that they have infrequent sex Roth their wives suffer in silence. The guys I know that cheated typically have really kind wives and the men never complained of lack of sex.

People who cheat are broken. Men usually don’t cheat in sexless marriages from my observation. I’m sure some do, but not to the extent this guy states.

+100. You get it. Cheating isn't about lack of sex, it's about choices you make that shows your character. It really does tell me a lot about what type of a person when they cheat.

There are studies that indicate that people who cheat in relationships also cheat in other areas of life (like business). This study was conducted using AM data during breach. Again, it's a character issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He probably complained about a lack his of sex for years, she ignored his pleas and made no effort to change, he finally lost interest and quit complaining, which led her to interpret the marriage as a good one since they didn’t fight, while all the while he was planning his exit once the kids were out of the house.

OMG, this also happened to coworker a few months back, except for the fact that their children are 11 and 16.
Both are in their mid 40’s. He’s an attorney who decided to leave the family for the barely 20 year old secretary he met less than a year ago.
According to the wife she saw no signs of trouble as he always worked late. It was a rural shock to her and the kids.