Could you please keep your kids off the screens when family is visiting?

[Anonymous]

My relatives (8 and 10) spend all their time on devices and eat all the time; physical activity isn’t part of their routine. Consequently, they’re very overweight (as are the parents). They’re nice kids, but stayed on devices pretty much the whole time we were there and didn’t really play with cousins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I hear you OP. I've only seen the top of my nephew's head for years. The first thing he said when he arrived was "what's the wifi password?" He's 9. It's annoying.

I'm surprised by everyone saying it's ok. The kid is 7. There should be a hundred better things to do at that age.

This is exactly my nephew. It’s sad. He is an only child, and my kids are his only cousins, but all he does is play video games from sun up to sundown.

[Anonymous]

There’s a lot of defensive on this thread. 5 and 7 too far apart to play? Why? My 12 year old plays happily with her 5 year old cousin. When they aren’t on screens (because during a 3 day visit screens do happen, but a movie we all watch together) they are silly and creative and there’s a ton of laughter. I agree that nose in screens can really detract from bonding, it’s kind of sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a lot of defensive on this thread. 5 and 7 too far apart to play? Why? My 12 year old plays happily with her 5 year old cousin. When they aren’t on screens (because during a 3 day visit screens do happen, but a movie we all watch together) they are silly and creative and there’s a ton of laughter. I agree that nose in screens can really detract from bonding, it’s kind of sad.

What's "kind of sad" are smug parents who really care more about shoulds and musts than finding real ways to connect. I play Wii with my nephew and nieces. That leads to other opportunities for fun and connecting with them. If I just stuck my nose in the air and said screens are bad, we wouldn't have much to build on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s family...why don’t YOU say something, OP?

“Hey, kids! Let’s play UNO!”

“Hey, kids! Let’s go for a walk!”

If you care so much, get involved, OP.

I asked my nephew if he wanted to play sorry or memory. Nope.

You’re surprised that a seven year old doesn’t want to play Sorry or Memory with the old aunt he sees once a year? When I’m with my nieces and nephews we tend to play football or soccer in the backyard. Or Xbox games.

[Anonymous]

Kids are people too. They aren't going to get along with and enjoy every other person who just happens to be in their age group. IF they see each other rarely the cousins are basically strangers. Why not help them find a way to connect be it through gaming or maybe making fun snapchat videos together. Teach them how to find common ground with another. Even two dogs won't always get along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s family...why don’t YOU say something, OP?

“Hey, kids! Let’s play UNO!”

“Hey, kids! Let’s go for a walk!”

If you care so much, get involved, OP.

I asked my nephew if he wanted to play sorry or memory. Nope.

You’re surprised that a seven year old doesn’t want to play Sorry or Memory with the old aunt he sees once a year? When I’m with my nieces and nephews we tend to play football or soccer in the backyard. Or Xbox games.

I mean...they are HIS games! It’s not like I brought them in my handbag with my Werther’s hard candy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids are people too. They aren't going to get along with and enjoy every other person who just happens to be in their age group. IF they see each other rarely the cousins are basically strangers. Why not help them find a way to connect be it through gaming or maybe making fun snapchat videos together. Teach them how to find common ground with another. Even two dogs won't always get along.

They know each other just fine. We don’t have Snapchat and young kids who are friends and family members should be able to play without me facilitating with Snapchat filters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's a meal or kind of a daylong event? Sure. We'll all be fully present and spending time together.

If you park it in my home for days on end and expect us to cook, clean, and activity-plan for you? Yeah, nope. At some point, we want to be home and enjoying our break. And yeah, that means a bit more screen time and doing whatever we want. You're welcome to fall in with us if you like. But if you expect museums and hours of chatting, make your visit shorter, or stay in a hotel. We want to veg out with our holiday. We do plenty of activities and museums and family talks throughout the year. There are very few days we can just hang out and play with new toys and watch shows and have screen time. We're vegging out, thanks.

Aren’t you a peach

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids are people too. They aren't going to get along with and enjoy every other person who just happens to be in their age group. IF they see each other rarely the cousins are basically strangers. Why not help them find a way to connect be it through gaming or maybe making fun snapchat videos together. Teach them how to find common ground with another. Even two dogs won't always get along.

They know each other just fine. We don’t have Snapchat and young kids who are friends and family members should be able to play without me facilitating with Snapchat filters.

So basically you want the older cousins to act as unpaid babysitters for your kids. They must entertain your children in the manner of your choosing. That’s not a great way to foster a relationship.

Look, I get it. We’re not big on screens either, especially during family gatherings. But when my kids’ are with their cousins whose parents are free with the screens, we make an exception because I think them bonding as family is more important than holding the line on screens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s family...why don’t YOU say something, OP?

“Hey, kids! Let’s play UNO!”

“Hey, kids! Let’s go for a walk!”

If you care so much, get involved, OP.

I asked my nephew if he wanted to play sorry or memory. Nope.

You tried two games and gave up? I don’t think you actually want the kids to play. I think you just want to complain about your in-laws.

[Anonymous]

This is why I volunteer to take the kids to the park, play zone, or museum. There’s still plenty of screen time.

[Anonymous]

Having a lot of new people in your house is stressful. Good bad or indifferent, the screens can be a self-soothing tool. Maybe you try to be more mindful of the potential impact of your presence in their home.

[Anonymous]

Do you feel better that my kid has a book rather than a screen? She’s an introvert. Too much people time is over stimulating.

[Anonymous]

OP I really think you need some perspective. My niece and nephew came to visit and were NOT on electronics and still didn't interact with us. As a pp said they are people too. You can't just expect them to perform perfectly. As another pp said, would you still be so upset if they were reading (and still not engaging)? It's fine to be disappointed, I was. BUT, it's not the electronics AND I will make the effort again because I care about my family, and I'm certainly not perfect.