I know this makes me an internet jerk but I'm so mad at the posters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP of one of the posts you mention. I totally get it. But I also know it’s irrational. You should, too.

When my dad was diagnosed with aggressive cancer, my axis shifted. I was so pissed off at the world. How dare people complain about small stuff when MY DAD IS DYING FROM PAINFUL CANCER AND I AM GOING TO MISS HIM! But then I thought, he isn’t dead; someone has it worse than me. I just found out my dad has cancer? Someone just found out their dad is DEAD, so who am I here with my small problems.

And you know what? Yes, small petty things still annoy me, you, and everyone. And that’s ok! I can, AND WILL, grieve my father and also that small annoyance at the same time. And so does everyone else. The world does not stop because you are in pain. Life’s little annoyances don’t stop, nor do they become less annoying, because you are in pain. Your HUGE issue doesn’t make anyone else’s small issue any less significant. Nobody is that special.

it isn't that you can't have annoyances - it is when you are so out of touch with the real world that your annoyances are other peoples luxuries. it is like venting that you can't believe you had to slum it last night and sleep at a $1000/night hotel that only had 700 thread count sheets. And you moan on and on about this issue / annoyance in your life thinking it is an actual problem because you are so privileged that your perspective about what is a problem to be annoyed about is so skewed.

Give me a break. We are all privileged around here. And we all have issues, big and small. And we are all complaining anonymously. Stop pretending you’ve never petty complained here (you are right now, by the way). I’m not complaining to anyone I know, out loud, in real time. Why does it bother some of you so much that people bring their petty complaints to DCUM? Are you mad people are thinking them, too? You never ever ever think a thought someone might find petty? Never? Or are you just mad people complain about petty things here? What exactly do you think this place is for, exactly? Strangers should be helping solve HUGE life issues here? You’re thought process is bizarre!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP of one of the posts you mention. I totally get it. But I also know it’s irrational. You should, too.

When my dad was diagnosed with aggressive cancer, my axis shifted. I was so pissed off at the world. How dare people complain about small stuff when MY DAD IS DYING FROM PAINFUL CANCER AND I AM GOING TO MISS HIM! But then I thought, he isn’t dead; someone has it worse than me. I just found out my dad has cancer? Someone just found out their dad is DEAD, so who am I here with my small problems.

And you know what? Yes, small petty things still annoy me, you, and everyone. And that’s ok! I can, AND WILL, grieve my father and also that small annoyance at the same time. And so does everyone else. The world does not stop because you are in pain. Life’s little annoyances don’t stop, nor do they become less annoying, because you are in pain. Your HUGE issue doesn’t make anyone else’s small issue any less significant. Nobody is that special.

it isn't that you can't have annoyances - it is when you are so out of touch with the real world that your annoyances are other peoples luxuries. it is like venting that you can't believe you had to slum it last night and sleep at a $1000/night hotel that only had 700 thread count sheets. And you moan on and on about this issue / annoyance in your life thinking it is an actual problem because you are so privileged that your perspective about what is a problem to be annoyed about is so skewed.

Yeah, if you are this wrought up about what is typical discussion for here -- rightly or wrongly -- then this isn't the place for you.

Why torture yourself reading here? Go do something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP of one of the posts you mention. I totally get it. But I also know it’s irrational. You should, too.

When my dad was diagnosed with aggressive cancer, my axis shifted. I was so pissed off at the world. How dare people complain about small stuff when MY DAD IS DYING FROM PAINFUL CANCER AND I AM GOING TO MISS HIM! But then I thought, he isn’t dead; someone has it worse than me. I just found out my dad has cancer? Someone just found out their dad is DEAD, so who am I here with my small problems.

And you know what? Yes, small petty things still annoy me, you, and everyone. And that’s ok! I can, AND WILL, grieve my father and also that small annoyance at the same time. And so does everyone else. The world does not stop because you are in pain. Life’s little annoyances don’t stop, nor do they become less annoying, because you are in pain. Your HUGE issue doesn’t make anyone else’s small issue any less significant. Nobody is that special.

it isn't that you can't have annoyances - it is when you are so out of touch with the real world that your annoyances are other peoples luxuries. it is like venting that you can't believe you had to slum it last night and sleep at a $1000/night hotel that only had 700 thread count sheets. And you moan on and on about this issue / annoyance in your life thinking it is an actual problem because you are so privileged that your perspective about what is a problem to be annoyed about is so skewed.

Give me a break. We are all privileged around here. And we all have issues, big and small. And we are all complaining anonymously. Stop pretending you’ve never petty complained here (you are right now, by the way). I’m not complaining to anyone I know, out loud, in real time. Why does it bother some of you so much that people bring their petty complaints to DCUM? Are you mad people are thinking them, too? You never ever ever think a thought someone might find petty? Never? Or are you just mad people complain about petty things here? What exactly do you think this place is for, exactly? Strangers should be helping solve HUGE life issues here? You’re thought process is bizarre!

+1 I'll add that I always get a laugh out of the posters who belittle others with "Wow. What a first world problem." What other kind of problems do DCUM posters have?

[Anonymous]

OP, I get it.

I wonder about some of the people who complain. I figure they spend at least five or ten minutes to type up their diatribe about how awful their parent(s) are, how annoying they are. Then they come back and review the answers, spend more time posting and feel vindicated when others justify their outrage over their sorry draw in the parent lottery.

But if I were to guess, I'd say that most of them have NEVER posted a single word about something good/positive/nice their parents have done.

All the focus on "Family Relationships" seems to be on the negative side and they don't look at the other side of the balance sheet, or proclaim there is nothing positive.

You have pointed out the other side of the equation and for many posters, that has no relevance to them. So be it. We know differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP of one of the posts you mention. I totally get it. But I also know it’s irrational. You should, too.

When my dad was diagnosed with aggressive cancer, my axis shifted. I was so pissed off at the world. How dare people complain about small stuff when MY DAD IS DYING FROM PAINFUL CANCER AND I AM GOING TO MISS HIM! But then I thought, he isn’t dead; someone has it worse than me. I just found out my dad has cancer? Someone just found out their dad is DEAD, so who am I here with my small problems.

And you know what? Yes, small petty things still annoy me, you, and everyone. And that’s ok! I can, AND WILL, grieve my father and also that small annoyance at the same time. And so does everyone else. The world does not stop because you are in pain. Life’s little annoyances don’t stop, nor do they become less annoying, because you are in pain. Your HUGE issue doesn’t make anyone else’s small issue any less significant. Nobody is that special.

it isn't that you can't have annoyances - it is when you are so out of touch with the real world that your annoyances are other peoples luxuries. it is like venting that you can't believe you had to slum it last night and sleep at a $1000/night hotel that only had 700 thread count sheets. And you moan on and on about this issue / annoyance in your life thinking it is an actual problem because you are so privileged that your perspective about what is a problem to be annoyed about is so skewed.

Give me a break. We are all privileged around here. And we all have issues, big and small. And we are all complaining anonymously. Stop pretending you’ve never petty complained here (you are right now, by the way). I’m not complaining to anyone I know, out loud, in real time. Why does it bother some of you so much that people bring their petty complaints to DCUM? Are you mad people are thinking them, too? You never ever ever think a thought someone might find petty? Never? Or are you just mad people complain about petty things here? What exactly do you think this place is for, exactly? Strangers should be helping solve HUGE life issues here? You’re thought process is bizarre!

You are right. I can be petty too. This one time my parents only gave me a car worth 80K. They are such scum. Bleck - horrible people. So annoyed. You get it guys - right? Do you have horrible parents like mine too? How do you manage your awful families who annoy you so much like mine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP of one of the posts you mention. I totally get it. But I also know it’s irrational. You should, too.

When my dad was diagnosed with aggressive cancer, my axis shifted. I was so pissed off at the world. How dare people complain about small stuff when MY DAD IS DYING FROM PAINFUL CANCER AND I AM GOING TO MISS HIM! But then I thought, he isn’t dead; someone has it worse than me. I just found out my dad has cancer? Someone just found out their dad is DEAD, so who am I here with my small problems.

And you know what? Yes, small petty things still annoy me, you, and everyone. And that’s ok! I can, AND WILL, grieve my father and also that small annoyance at the same time. And so does everyone else. The world does not stop because you are in pain. Life’s little annoyances don’t stop, nor do they become less annoying, because you are in pain. Your HUGE issue doesn’t make anyone else’s small issue any less significant. Nobody is that special.

it isn't that you can't have annoyances - it is when you are so out of touch with the real world that your annoyances are other peoples luxuries. it is like venting that you can't believe you had to slum it last night and sleep at a $1000/night hotel that only had 700 thread count sheets. And you moan on and on about this issue / annoyance in your life thinking it is an actual problem because you are so privileged that your perspective about what is a problem to be annoyed about is so skewed.

Give me a break. We are all privileged around here. And we all have issues, big and small. And we are all complaining anonymously. Stop pretending you’ve never petty complained here (you are right now, by the way). I’m not complaining to anyone I know, out loud, in real time. Why does it bother some of you so much that people bring their petty complaints to DCUM? Are you mad people are thinking them, too? You never ever ever think a thought someone might find petty? Never? Or are you just mad people complain about petty things here? What exactly do you think this place is for, exactly? Strangers should be helping solve HUGE life issues here? You’re thought process is bizarre!

You are right. I can be petty too. This one time my parents only gave me a car worth 80K. They are such scum. Bleck - horrible people. So annoyed. You get it guys - right? Do you have horrible parents like mine too? How do you manage your awful families who annoy you so much like mine?

Dcum needs more posters like you.

[Anonymous]

Venting is a completely normal and healthy way to express frustration. Frustration is a normal human emotion. I am all for people venting, in fact venting online is great because you are able to get the perspective of many other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:who are complaining about their parents and inlaws over nothing. NOTHING. Yes, my and DH's parents are dead and it just kills me to see, on the DCUM front page, complaints from posters because 1) parents deposit money into their bank accounts; 2) parent asks for but doesn't use lists when giving christmas presents; 3) parents want to attend their kids' functions too much -- and it goes on and on and on. I know it's rude and stupid but I want to respond to each and every one of them - Don't you realize how precious this is? Don't you see how how lucky your kids are? Can't you appreciate them for their good intentions even when accompanied by clumsy execution? Don't you know they'll be gone too soon? Can't you, if nothing else, at least appreciate that they put your spouse into the world?

WAAAH! I just to want to have a big cry and I miss my parents so much, especially around the holidays. They would have loved my kids so much if they'd had the chance to meet them. Ok. Rant over. Carry on. Thank you.

OP, you obviously had a good relationship with your parents. They were obviously a source of love and comfort to you. I know that many families are like that, mostly because that is how my life is now with my kids, but my family of origin was not like that. Because of my parents, my childhood was lonely and confusing, and pretty painful. When my dad died I didn't feel sad. I felt a little sorry for him, and his life, but mostly I felt relief I wouldn't have to see him again. My mom is still alive but from her, too, there are no fond memories, no safe, warm fuzzy feelings of love. Mostly now to her I am polite, but even doing that wears thin. I don't really post about her much, but I can totally understand other ranting about some small annoyance because of my history with my mom.

So, no, those things you posted about are not precious to every one. They would be precious to you because your parents were good at being parents. Not everyone has parents like that.

[Anonymous]

I find self-congratulatory posts about how much bettttter a person you are to be much more annoying than people venting, even if I wouldn't care about their problems.

You want Chicken Soup for the Soul? Buy a book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:who are complaining about their parents and inlaws over nothing. NOTHING. Yes, my and DH's parents are dead and it just kills me to see, on the DCUM front page, complaints from posters because 1) parents deposit money into their bank accounts; 2) parent asks for but doesn't use lists when giving christmas presents; 3) parents want to attend their kids' functions too much -- and it goes on and on and on. I know it's rude and stupid but I want to respond to each and every one of them - Don't you realize how precious this is? Don't you see how how lucky your kids are? Can't you appreciate them for their good intentions even when accompanied by clumsy execution? Don't you know they'll be gone too soon? Can't you, if nothing else, at least appreciate that they put your spouse into the world?

WAAAH! I just to want to have a big cry and I miss my parents so much, especially around the holidays. They would have loved my kids so much if they'd had the chance to meet them. Ok. Rant over. Carry on. Thank you.

OP, you obviously had a good relationship with your parents. They were obviously a source of love and comfort to you. I know that many families are like that, mostly because that is how my life is now with my kids, but my family of origin was not like that. Because of my parents, my childhood was lonely and confusing, and pretty painful. When my dad died I didn't feel sad. I felt a little sorry for him, and his life, but mostly I felt relief I wouldn't have to see him again. My mom is still alive but from her, too, there are no fond memories, no safe, warm fuzzy feelings of love. Mostly now to her I am polite, but even doing that wears thin. I don't really post about her much, but I can totally understand other ranting about some small annoyance because of my history with my mom.

So, no, those things you posted about are not precious to every one. They would be precious to you because your parents were good at being parents. Not everyone has parents like that.

This is all true - and beside the point. My parents are great, and I have a wonderful relationship with them. And they still frustrate me sometimes. And the notion that I am somehow ungrateful, don't appreciate them, and and shouldn't vent because OP's parents passed away is preposterous.

[Anonymous]

Reading the drivel posted by these poor wounded DCUM whelps with such petty annoyances regarding their parents made me realize it's time to re-watch "Tree of Life."

"Mother, father; always you wrestle inside me, always you will."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:who are complaining about their parents and inlaws over nothing. NOTHING. Yes, my and DH's parents are dead and it just kills me to see, on the DCUM front page, complaints from posters because 1) parents deposit money into their bank accounts; 2) parent asks for but doesn't use lists when giving christmas presents; 3) parents want to attend their kids' functions too much -- and it goes on and on and on. I know it's rude and stupid but I want to respond to each and every one of them - Don't you realize how precious this is? Don't you see how how lucky your kids are? Can't you appreciate them for their good intentions even when accompanied by clumsy execution? Don't you know they'll be gone too soon? Can't you, if nothing else, at least appreciate that they put your spouse into the world?

WAAAH! I just to want to have a big cry and I miss my parents so much, especially around the holidays. They would have loved my kids so much if they'd had the chance to meet them. Ok. Rant over. Carry on. Thank you.

Hang in there. Just know those people are going to become the overbearing MIL waging a never end war of supremacy with their DIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the OP of one of the posts you mention. I totally get it. But I also know it’s irrational. You should, too.

When my dad was diagnosed with aggressive cancer, my axis shifted. I was so pissed off at the world. How dare people complain about small stuff when MY DAD IS DYING FROM PAINFUL CANCER AND I AM GOING TO MISS HIM! But then I thought, he isn’t dead; someone has it worse than me. I just found out my dad has cancer? Someone just found out their dad is DEAD, so who am I here with my small problems.

And you know what? Yes, small petty things still annoy me, you, and everyone. And that’s ok! I can, AND WILL, grieve my father and also that small annoyance at the same time. And so does everyone else. The world does not stop because you are in pain. Life’s little annoyances don’t stop, nor do they become less annoying, because you are in pain. Your HUGE issue doesn’t make anyone else’s small issue any less significant. Nobody is that special.

If you are referring to annoyances in general you have a valid point.

If you are referring to small annoyances of your father then you may be sorely wrong. You have no idea how his death will hit you. You only have the idea of it right now. Death itself changes everything because a part of your world will indeed stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:who are complaining about their parents and inlaws over nothing. NOTHING. Yes, my and DH's parents are dead and it just kills me to see, on the DCUM front page, complaints from posters because 1) parents deposit money into their bank accounts; 2) parent asks for but doesn't use lists when giving christmas presents; 3) parents want to attend their kids' functions too much -- and it goes on and on and on. I know it's rude and stupid but I want to respond to each and every one of them - Don't you realize how precious this is? Don't you see how how lucky your kids are? Can't you appreciate them for their good intentions even when accompanied by clumsy execution? Don't you know they'll be gone too soon? Can't you, if nothing else, at least appreciate that they put your spouse into the world?

WAAAH! I just to want to have a big cry and I miss my parents so much, especially around the holidays. They would have loved my kids so much if they'd had the chance to meet them. Ok. Rant over. Carry on. Thank you.

Well said!

Not really, no.

Actually, it is well said. Op expressed her feelings while acknowledging that she can be considered a "jerk" for it.

She sounds like a teenager though so her feeling were expressed in a very immature way.

[Anonymous]

you aren't mad at irrelevant people you don't know.

you are mad at the universe.

I'm sorry for your loss.