The End of Sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read the article yet, but I've always thought it well known that most women get turned on by being the object of desire and having an assertive, more dominant lover. I've never had trouble finding this in men. And I'm not talking about jerks or a-holes. I've met plenty of men who are perfectly nice, considerate gentlemen, not sexists, can treat women as equals but know how to take charge in bed. Maybe it's because I'm older and my partners have been around my same age. Is there really a dearth of sexually confident, assertive men in younger generations that know how to navigate this duality? Women used to be told all the time that we needed to be a whore in the bedroom and a lady outside of it. Are younger men unable to pull the equivalent off?

This is a very good point.

No they are not, unless their dads give them some idea. Boys are being talk these days to always ask permission to take the next step with a girl. This is what you end up with. The intent is right, but you end up with these so called "beta" guys in the bedroom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read the article yet, but I've always thought it well known that most women get turned on by being the object of desire and having an assertive, more dominant lover. I've never had trouble finding this in men. And I'm not talking about jerks or a-holes. I've met plenty of men who are perfectly nice, considerate gentlemen, not sexists, can treat women as equals but know how to take charge in bed. Maybe it's because I'm older and my partners have been around my same age. Is there really a dearth of sexually confident, assertive men in younger generations that know how to navigate this duality? Women used to be told all the time that we needed to be a whore in the bedroom and a lady outside of it. Are younger men unable to pull the equivalent off?

This is a very good point.

No they are not, unless their dads give them some idea. Boys are being talk these days to always ask permission to take the next step with a girl. This is what you end up with. The intent is right, but you end up with these so called "beta" guys in the bedroom

Right, even if you get permission 15 ways from Sunday, if she regrets it later, you’re still at risk to be accused of rape. And the accusation equals the conviction. Women have brought this on themselves.

[Anonymous]

It seems to me that the only useful purpose of marriage is to have children in a socially acceptable manner. If men and women are biologically programmed to be bored by long monogamy, make each marriage certificate valid for only 10 years, subject to renewal only if both parties agree. This will prevent either spouse from taking the other one for granted. This will reduce the need for divorce as well, as unhappy marriages will simply run their course and result in a no-fault ending.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been married 36 years and in terms of sex there is no end in sight. After having had sex thousands of times we both still enjoy the experience and still find new ways to make it pleasurable. My husband is really good at getting me thinking about it or getting me in the mood hours before it happens and in bed he’s always asking what I’m in the mood for. Sometimes I like to dominate and sometimes I like him to and when what we do matches my mood I really get into it and then so will he. He loves when I take the dominant role because he’s not sure what is going to happen nor do I.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read the article yet, but I've always thought it well known that most women get turned on by being the object of desire and having an assertive, more dominant lover. I've never had trouble finding this in men. And I'm not talking about jerks or a-holes. I've met plenty of men who are perfectly nice, considerate gentlemen, not sexists, can treat women as equals but know how to take charge in bed. Maybe it's because I'm older and my partners have been around my same age. Is there really a dearth of sexually confident, assertive men in younger generations that know how to navigate this duality? Women used to be told all the time that we needed to be a whore in the bedroom and a lady outside of it. Are younger men unable to pull the equivalent off?

This is a very good point.

No they are not, unless their dads give them some idea. Boys are being talk these days to always ask permission to take the next step with a girl. This is what you end up with. The intent is right, but you end up with these so called "beta" guys in the bedroom

Right, even if you get permission 15 ways from Sunday, if she regrets it later, you’re still at risk to be accused of rape. And the accusation equals the conviction. Women have brought this on themselves.

I don't agree with the bolded part, but agree with everything above. Terrible times and awful sexual assaults being exposed leaves parents of boys with no recourse but to discuss this often. I do. My son is sort of a metro guy. Thin, pretty face, long wavy hair and really kind. He's not an alpha guy but plays a varsity sport, good student, president of our local food pantry. This is the hardwired him. I wouldn't say generation z will become beta but sure will need to be very cautious. DS is 16 so our conversations are funny and serious. Told him recently that he's going to college with full body condoms and contracts. On the flip side, I understand the outrage and people lash out about, "teach your sons to be better". We are! But we have been even before me too. My kid would never, ever be disrespectful to a young woman because again, he's not hardwired or entitled. The sins of a minority of men have created the new blue print. There is no gray area. It's black or white (sexual deviants vs beta). But the majority is gray, normal young men with a sex drive who would never harm a woman.

Example:
This past weekend, DS friend was over. This kid is over 6', great looking, champion swimmer and incredibly confident. Not alpha but very much a player. I noticed a couple of hickies on the front of his neck. I said, the vampire won huh? He told me that she wanted him to kiss her so badly that she provoked him. It didn't go further. I understood what he was getting at. While he is all of the above, he will not cross the line unless the girl insists! Well, she left a few marks.

[Anonymous]

If you expect your partner to be mind reader, then you deserve bad sex or at least, to be sexually frustrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read the article yet, but I've always thought it well known that most women get turned on by being the object of desire and having an assertive, more dominant lover. I've never had trouble finding this in men. And I'm not talking about jerks or a-holes. I've met plenty of men who are perfectly nice, considerate gentlemen, not sexists, can treat women as equals but know how to take charge in bed. Maybe it's because I'm older and my partners have been around my same age. Is there really a dearth of sexually confident, assertive men in younger generations that know how to navigate this duality? Women used to be told all the time that we needed to be a whore in the bedroom and a lady outside of it. Are younger men unable to pull the equivalent off?

This is a very good point.

No they are not, unless their dads give them some idea. Boys are being talk these days to always ask permission to take the next step with a girl. This is what you end up with. The intent is right, but you end up with these so called "beta" guys in the bedroom

Right, even if you get permission 15 ways from Sunday, if she regrets it later, you’re still at risk to be accused of rape. And the accusation equals the conviction. Women have brought this on themselves.

I don't agree with the bolded part, but agree with everything above. Terrible times and awful sexual assaults being exposed leaves parents of boys with no recourse but to discuss this often. I do. My son is sort of a metro guy. Thin, pretty face, long wavy hair and really kind. He's not an alpha guy but plays a varsity sport, good student, president of our local food pantry. This is the hardwired him. I wouldn't say generation z will become beta but sure will need to be very cautious. DS is 16 so our conversations are funny and serious. Told him recently that he's going to college with full body condoms and contracts. On the flip side, I understand the outrage and people lash out about, "teach your sons to be better". We are! But we have been even before me too. My kid would never, ever be disrespectful to a young woman because again, he's not hardwired or entitled. The sins of a minority of men have created the new blue print. There is no gray area. It's black or white (sexual deviants vs beta). But the majority is gray, normal young men with a sex drive who would never harm a woman.

Example:
This past weekend, DS friend was over. This kid is over 6', great looking, champion swimmer and incredibly confident. Not alpha but very much a player. I noticed a couple of hickies on the front of his neck. I said, the vampire won huh? He told me that she wanted him to kiss her so badly that she provoked him. It didn't go further. I understood what he was getting at. While he is all of the above, he will not cross the line unless the girl insists! Well, she left a few marks.

So in your book the boy has no choice in the matter....he is just there for the entertainment of the girl? She can do what ever she wants including bruising and marking him? What would you say to a girl who told you the same story?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been married 36 years and in terms of sex there is no end in sight. After having had sex thousands of times we both still enjoy the experience and still find new ways to make it pleasurable. My husband is really good at getting me thinking about it or getting me in the mood hours before it happens and in bed he’s always asking what I’m in the mood for. Sometimes I like to dominate and sometimes I like him to and when what we do matches my mood I really get into it and then so will he. He loves when I take the dominant role because he’s not sure what is going to happen nor do I.

It sounds like your husband could teach other husbands a whole lot. My husband makes no effort to get me in the mood and when we are in bed he just seems to want to satisfy his own needs. Yes, I do get some enjoyment out of it but it could be so much better for both of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read the article yet, but I've always thought it well known that most women get turned on by being the object of desire and having an assertive, more dominant lover. I've never had trouble finding this in men. And I'm not talking about jerks or a-holes. I've met plenty of men who are perfectly nice, considerate gentlemen, not sexists, can treat women as equals but know how to take charge in bed. Maybe it's because I'm older and my partners have been around my same age. Is there really a dearth of sexually confident, assertive men in younger generations that know how to navigate this duality? Women used to be told all the time that we needed to be a whore in the bedroom and a lady outside of it. Are younger men unable to pull the equivalent off?

This is a very good point.

No they are not, unless their dads give them some idea. Boys are being talk these days to always ask permission to take the next step with a girl. This is what you end up with. The intent is right, but you end up with these so called "beta" guys in the bedroom

Right, even if you get permission 15 ways from Sunday, if she regrets it later, you’re still at risk to be accused of rape. And the accusation equals the conviction. Women have brought this on themselves.

This is such a load of BS, repeated with men who are predators.

I am a 50+ woman and my DH is a great guy in all aspects of life. He did not have to be a sexist jerk or misogynist or a rapey ahole to prove that he is manly or alpha. He has always been a considerate man who treats everyone with basic decency and respect. It is not only how you treat women, but everyone - subordinates, service people, your waitress or waiter, people at work, rules, laws, manners, the Earty etc.

He is a great partner and a great dad. He helps with whatever chores needs to be done at home. In the bedroom, he is the person who leads and experiments...and I enjoy it because I trust him with my body, my heart and I do not have to second guess his intentions. I am ok to be submissive or indulge in roleplay because it is a fantasy in the bedroom. I can do it with him because I know that I am safe with him. He proves that to me in every aspect of life outside of the bedroom.

I have a DD and a DS. I am not scared for any of them. My DD knows what to expect in a man because she has the example of her dad. My DS knows how to treat a woman because of the example of his dad.

[Anonymous]

I love an alpha male.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read the article yet, but I've always thought it well known that most women get turned on by being the object of desire and having an assertive, more dominant lover. I've never had trouble finding this in men. And I'm not talking about jerks or a-holes. I've met plenty of men who are perfectly nice, considerate gentlemen, not sexists, can treat women as equals but know how to take charge in bed. Maybe it's because I'm older and my partners have been around my same age. Is there really a dearth of sexually confident, assertive men in younger generations that know how to navigate this duality? Women used to be told all the time that we needed to be a whore in the bedroom and a lady outside of it. Are younger men unable to pull the equivalent off?

This is a very good point.

No they are not, unless their dads give them some idea. Boys are being talk these days to always ask permission to take the next step with a girl. This is what you end up with. The intent is right, but you end up with these so called "beta" guys in the bedroom

Right, even if you get permission 15 ways from Sunday, if she regrets it later, you’re still at risk to be accused of rape. And the accusation equals the conviction. Women have brought this on themselves.

This is such a load of BS, repeated with men who are predators.

I am a 50+ woman and my DH is a great guy in all aspects of life. He did not have to be a sexist jerk or misogynist or a rapey ahole to prove that he is manly or alpha. He has always been a considerate man who treats everyone with basic decency and respect. It is not only how you treat women, but everyone - subordinates, service people, your waitress or waiter, people at work, rules, laws, manners, the Earty etc.

He is a great partner and a great dad. He helps with whatever chores needs to be done at home. In the bedroom, he is the person who leads and experiments...and I enjoy it because I trust him with my body, my heart and I do not have to second guess his intentions. I am ok to be submissive or indulge in roleplay because it is a fantasy in the bedroom. I can do it with him because I know that I am safe with him. He proves that to me in every aspect of life outside of the bedroom.

I have a DD and a DS. I am not scared for any of them. My DD knows what to expect in a man because she has the example of her dad. My DS knows how to treat a woman because of the example of his dad.

The game has changed. I’m married in my late 30s and my experience is barely applicable to the current dating/newlywed culture. We are very much a product of our times and the times have changed....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read the article yet, but I've always thought it well known that most women get turned on by being the object of desire and having an assertive, more dominant lover. I've never had trouble finding this in men. And I'm not talking about jerks or a-holes. I've met plenty of men who are perfectly nice, considerate gentlemen, not sexists, can treat women as equals but know how to take charge in bed. Maybe it's because I'm older and my partners have been around my same age. Is there really a dearth of sexually confident, assertive men in younger generations that know how to navigate this duality? Women used to be told all the time that we needed to be a whore in the bedroom and a lady outside of it. Are younger men unable to pull the equivalent off?

This is a very good point.

No they are not, unless their dads give them some idea. Boys are being talk these days to always ask permission to take the next step with a girl. This is what you end up with. The intent is right, but you end up with these so called "beta" guys in the bedroom

Right, even if you get permission 15 ways from Sunday, if she regrets it later, you’re still at risk to be accused of rape. And the accusation equals the conviction. Women have brought this on themselves.

This is such a load of BS, repeated with men who are predators.

I am a 50+ woman and my DH is a great guy in all aspects of life. He did not have to be a sexist jerk or misogynist or a rapey ahole to prove that he is manly or alpha. He has always been a considerate man who treats everyone with basic decency and respect. It is not only how you treat women, but everyone - subordinates, service people, your waitress or waiter, people at work, rules, laws, manners, the Earty etc.

He is a great partner and a great dad. He helps with whatever chores needs to be done at home. In the bedroom, he is the person who leads and experiments...and I enjoy it because I trust him with my body, my heart and I do not have to second guess his intentions. I am ok to be submissive or indulge in roleplay because it is a fantasy in the bedroom. I can do it with him because I know that I am safe with him. He proves that to me in every aspect of life outside of the bedroom.

I have a DD and a DS. I am not scared for any of them. My DD knows what to expect in a man because she has the example of her dad. My DS knows how to treat a woman because of the example of his dad.

The game has changed. I’m married in my late 30s and my experience is barely applicable to the current dating/newlywed culture. We are very much a product of our times and the times have changed....

BS- it hasn’t changed, what’s changed is people accepting being treated badly. My DH is like the PPs. He s an amazing husband and role model for my kids who are in their 30’s. He and his guy friends who are all 60-ish set a very high bar and I know my SIL’s respect him and are learning from him because they grew up in dysfunctional families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read the article yet, but I've always thought it well known that most women get turned on by being the object of desire and having an assertive, more dominant lover. I've never had trouble finding this in men. And I'm not talking about jerks or a-holes. I've met plenty of men who are perfectly nice, considerate gentlemen, not sexists, can treat women as equals but know how to take charge in bed. Maybe it's because I'm older and my partners have been around my same age. Is there really a dearth of sexually confident, assertive men in younger generations that know how to navigate this duality? Women used to be told all the time that we needed to be a whore in the bedroom and a lady outside of it. Are younger men unable to pull the equivalent off?

This is a very good point.

No they are not, unless their dads give them some idea. Boys are being talk these days to always ask permission to take the next step with a girl. This is what you end up with. The intent is right, but you end up with these so called "beta" guys in the bedroom

Right, even if you get permission 15 ways from Sunday, if she regrets it later, you’re still at risk to be accused of rape. And the accusation equals the conviction. Women have brought this on themselves.

This is such a load of BS, repeated with men who are predators.

I am a 50+ woman and my DH is a great guy in all aspects of life. He did not have to be a sexist jerk or misogynist or a rapey ahole to prove that he is manly or alpha. He has always been a considerate man who treats everyone with basic decency and respect. It is not only how you treat women, but everyone - subordinates, service people, your waitress or waiter, people at work, rules, laws, manners, the Earty etc.

He is a great partner and a great dad. He helps with whatever chores needs to be done at home. In the bedroom, he is the person who leads and experiments...and I enjoy it because I trust him with my body, my heart and I do not have to second guess his intentions. I am ok to be submissive or indulge in roleplay because it is a fantasy in the bedroom. I can do it with him because I know that I am safe with him. He proves that to me in every aspect of life outside of the bedroom.

I have a DD and a DS. I am not scared for any of them. My DD knows what to expect in a man because she has the example of her dad. My DS knows how to treat a woman because of the example of his dad.

The game has changed. I’m married in my late 30s and my experience is barely applicable to the current dating/newlywed culture. We are very much a product of our times and the times have changed....

BS- it hasn’t changed, what’s changed is people accepting being treated badly. My DH is like the PPs. He s an amazing husband and role model for my kids who are in their 30’s. He and his guy friends who are all 60-ish set a very high bar and I know my SIL’s respect him and are learning from him because they grew up in dysfunctional families.

Well, the data says otherwise. People are having less sex than before. The link in OP has professionals giving you anecdotal evidence of what they are seeing in their professional practices. But, yeah, I’m sure you understand the issue much better

[Anonymous]

Agree with article 100%. Im also a hardcore feminist. I think it’s just biology. Ever read romance? 90% of isnidentical, always an alpha male. The outliers are more fetish stuff.

[Anonymous]

I always look at pony tail skinny sensitive guy in yoga class and can’t bekieve any woman would be turned on by such a beta male.