I think I physically can't have sex anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't give up OP - there is a solution you just need to find the right specialist. Meanwhile there are other ways to enjoy sex with your partner other than PIV. If he is considerate he will take your lead and go with it. I went through a period when PIV was painful but oral worked very well for me as it did for my husband - no surprise! Even now PIV is not a must when we have sex.

Also make sure your partner knows how painful it is for you and talk about solutions like the above. It will be so much easier for you knowing that you are going to have sex without it being painful. Your desire and frequency may increase as well which will be a benefit to your partner.

[Anonymous]

Agree with others about finding things that are fun for both of you that also aren't painful. I would strongly urge you to go to a specialty pelvic pain clinic. I'm not local, but there must be one in the DC area if there is one in my little city. They had me see a surgeon, a NP, and at PT and they all had suggestions for various interventions (no surgery was recommended for me). There are a lot more treatments out there before you give up (and some of them are very easy and low tech interventions)-wishing you all the best!

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I was also going to ask where your partner is in all of this. I feel like it's either a total jerk who continues to have painful intercourse with his partner knowing that she's experiencing this or like you have not actually shared your situation fully with your partner.

If the former, that's completely messed up and you should stop having sex with this person on general principle, not just because it hurts.

If the latter, why are you unable to share this with your partner?

[Anonymous]

OP - I'm 62 and after menopause vaginal sex became very painful. When it did I was very open with my husband that it really hurt and thankfully he was very understanding. It took almost two years to find a solution but like others have mentioned you can still have great sex. Devote time to finding the solution that works for you but in the meanwhile you and your partner can still enjoy sex. I'm sure my husband missed vaginal sex but he never seemed to be disappointed. Good luck OP!

[Anonymous]

Try a second opinion OP. I'm not understanding why your husband would still try to have sex knowing the pain. That's the most disturbing part here. Sorry but sex isn't that important, not when the other partner is in pain.
It may end up being something that will never change, you both will need to accept it at some point.

[Anonymous]

Your doctor is incompetent. Go see someone else. You probably have vulvodynia. There are treatments but you need to get a diagnosis by a competent practitioner.

NVA.org will give you a list of doctors. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I'm 62 and after menopause vaginal sex became very painful. When it did I was very open with my husband that it really hurt and thankfully he was very understanding. It took almost two years to find a solution but like others have mentioned you can still have great sex. Devote time to finding the solution that works for you but in the meanwhile you and your partner can still enjoy sex. I'm sure my husband missed vaginal sex but he never seemed to be disappointed. Good luck OP!

This is the problem with viagra. Both men and women’s bodies are designed to stop working sex wise, but while there is now a cure for men, there isn’t one for men. Causes issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure it's not mental? If you viewed your childbirth experience as traumatic, there might be a mental component.

bingo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure it's not mental? If you viewed your childbirth experience as traumatic, there might be a mental component.

bingo

No, it's an actual medical condition. Not psychological.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure it's not mental? If you viewed your childbirth experience as traumatic, there might be a mental component.

bingo

No, it's an actual medical condition. Not psychological.

Psychological conditions are real medical conditions. But I agree this seems physical, which is probably what you meant.

[Anonymous]

I highly recommend the pelvic floor PTs at bodyConnect in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure it's not mental? If you viewed your childbirth experience as traumatic, there might be a mental component.

bingo

Idiots. Are you a doctor or medical person of any ilk? Then STFU because you sound like a moron. Please go back to your customer service job, or whatever it is you do for a living that is NOT in the medical field. [vimeo]

It's like telling someone with cancer, diabetes, a skin disorder, ulcerative colitis, etc, etc, etc, that its in their head. Vulvar and Vaginal pain, changes, and disorders are a medical condition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure it's not mental? If you viewed your childbirth experience as traumatic, there might be a mental component.

bingo

Idiots. Are you a doctor or medical person of any ilk? Then STFU because you sound like a moron. Please go back to your customer service job, or whatever it is you do for a living that is NOT in the medical field. [vimeo]

It's like telling someone with cancer, diabetes, a skin disorder, ulcerative colitis, etc, etc, etc, that its in their head. Vulvar and Vaginal pain, changes, and disorders are a medical condition.

There are absolutely mental components to experiencing all kinds of physiological illnesses, just like there are physiological symptoms for many psychological illnesses. Saying one does not preclude the existence of the other. For a woman who is experiencing intensely painful intercourse after childbirth, it is worth considering whether there is some psychological trauma that is making the pain WORSE - not creating it, but exacerbating it. That's not saying that it's all in OP's head. Clearly she is suffering. But she could do everything to address the physiological suffering and find no change to her experience if there are unaddressed psychological components to her illness.

That you react so hostilely to the suggestion of psychological components to this experience indicates that you have your own psychological things going on. I'm sorry that whoever it was minimized your suffering by saying it was all in your head. That is NOT what is being said here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure it's not mental? If you viewed your childbirth experience as traumatic, there might be a mental component.

bingo

Idiots. Are you a doctor or medical person of any ilk? Then STFU because you sound like a moron. Please go back to your customer service job, or whatever it is you do for a living that is NOT in the medical field. [vimeo]

It's like telling someone with cancer, diabetes, a skin disorder, ulcerative colitis, etc, etc, etc, that its in their head. Vulvar and Vaginal pain, changes, and disorders are a medical condition.

There are absolutely mental components to experiencing all kinds of physiological illnesses, just like there are physiological symptoms for many psychological illnesses. Saying one does not preclude the existence of the other. For a woman who is experiencing intensely painful intercourse after childbirth, it is worth considering whether there is some psychological trauma that is making the pain WORSE - not creating it, but exacerbating it. That's not saying that it's all in OP's head. Clearly she is suffering. But she could do everything to address the physiological suffering and find no change to her experience if there are unaddressed psychological components to her illness.

That you react so hostilely to the suggestion of psychological components to this experience indicates that you have your own psychological things going on. I'm sorry that whoever it was minimized your suffering by saying it was all in your head. That is NOT what is being said here.

DP here but did the OP say she had a traumatic childbirth? I don't think she did. You don't need to fixate on that, it's not very likely to be the cause of the problem. There are pelvic pain disorders that have no visible symptoms but are common physiological conditions and have nothing to do with childbirth or one's mental health. A competent GYN will be able to diagnose them and will also recommend a mental health evaluation if that is in order.

[Anonymous]

Are you on hormonal birth control op? That sucked my sex drive right down the drain and made it very difficult to get aroused. It was a horrible experience even with all the lube in the world.